Bird’s Eye View (Aug 31, 2016)

by Turkey Vulture, August 31, 2016

Greetings one and all. Are you are sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin.

From our 3-Dot regular, The Old Buzzard, comes another in his insightful series. “Signs that the Apocalypse is Approaching.” Buzzard reports, “The Olympic Games are, historically and by design, a place for peaceful international competition: ‘diplomacy over a discus,’ as it were. But geopolitical tensions do occasionally slip into view. During the recently concluded competitions, while the selfie shared by gymnasts from estranged North and South Korea certainly warmed hearts, there were other less-friendly gestures in Rio. The Israel-Arab conflict was present, with the Lebanese delegation refusing to share a bus with Israelis. A Saudi judoka dropped out of her bout with an Israeli, and an Egyptian one was sent home after refusing to shake the hand of the Israeli who bested him. In the pool, American swimmers shunned their Russian counterparts while Australians cold-shouldered the Chinese (ostensibly over doping allegations). An Armenian medal-winner wore a picture of a soldier killed by an Azerbaijan; Ukraine’s sport minister ordered his country’s athletes not to give interviews to Russian media; and Serbian athletes were told not to share a podium with Kosovars. I guess it could have been worse but it was bad enough. So much for the brotherhood of nations. I cannot help but think it’s yet another victim of the approaching Apocalypse.”

Public Service Announcements. #541. From 3-6pm on Saturday, September 3rd, the AV Senior Center will be hosting a fundraising ribs and chicken bbq with chefs “Pot Licker BBQ” (Steve and Terri Rhoades) at their location in the parking lot at the Veterans” Hall. #542. There is live music at Lauren’s Restaurant this Saturday evening, September 3. At 8pm it’s Ryan Davis doing an acoustic set before joining his bandmates in “Boonfire” for their 9pm performance. For more info call 895-3869. #543. The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital have no more visits this month but they will be at the AV Farm Supply on Highway 128, north of Philo, on September 22 and then twice in October, dates to follow. #544. The Mendocino Bookmobile returns to the Valley next Tuesday, September 6. They are here on alternate Tuesdays for 45 minutes at: Navarro Store 9am (for just 30 minutes before heading out to Comptche); the Floodgate 12.30pm; Philo 1.30pm; Boonville (Apple Hall) 2.30pm. Phone 463-4694 for further details. #545. The AV Museum is open every Saturday and Sunday, from 1-4pm. Situated in The Little Red Schoolhouse next to the Elementary School on AV Way, this is a perfect thing to do in the Valley when you have a couple of hours to spare on a weekend afternoon. “The Best Little Museum in the West.” #546. The next Barn Sale is on Saturday/Sunday, September 10/11.

Here is the menu for the Community lunches next week in the Senior Center at the Veterans Building in Boonville. $6 donation from seniors and $7 for Non-seniors. Tomorrow, Thursday, September 1st, the lunch, served by Marti Titus and her crew at Noon, will be Meat Loaf, Mashed potatoes & gravy, and dessert. Following this lunch join Ken Montgomery & Friends for music & singing. Then, next Tuesday, September 6th, the lunch will be delicious. I just have not been able to find out what it is! All meals include vegetables, salad bar, and fruit, plus milk, coffee, tea, and lemonade. What a deal, the best value for money you’ll get all week! Tai Chi is Tuesdays at 11am; on Thursdays at 11am it is Kathy’s Easy-stretch Yoga class. Also on Thursdays the Active Life Club from 10am to 2pm features games, crafts, and music. The Senior Center/Community Bus goes to Ukiah on Monday's and Santa Rosa on the first Wednesday of the month. Sign up early at 489-1175. Hopefully you can attend some of these events and certainly the lunches and dinners. ALL ages welcome! Hope to see you there.

Ttopics and Valley events at The Three-Dot Lounge — “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant (yet surprisingly reliable) Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley.

…If I hear the excuse for incompetence, inefficiency, or lack of accountability being “because he/she is a volunteer” one more time, then I am sure, like any other self-respecting Turkey Vulture when put in an annoying situation, I shall be forced to just defecate on the head of the person offering the excuse. Enough already. No more talking without walking. People need to do what they said they would/could do!

…A 3-Dot regular reports that, as he staggered along Haight Street in SF last Saturday afternoon, he spotted 16 Mexican teenagers walking around, taking in the sights. He recognized several of them as AV student athletes and they informed him that they were in the City to play a soccer game at Kezar Stadium, former home of the 49ers back in the day. My investigations have revealed that they subsequently lost a close game against Urban High. After the game they enjoyed a fine postseason meal at the nearby Kezar Pub, where they watched professional soccer on the tv and some of the 18-year old seniors “sipped a couple of refreshing cervezas.” I am sure they were kidding about the beers, although the US, along with less than ten others, is a country where citizens can be sent to war at 18 but drinking alcohol is not allowed until you are 21. And that, in my humble opinion, is not a good thing. (FYI. 115 countries allow drinking at 18; whereas 16 countries ban alcohol completely).

…The Lions fundraising bbq for the AV Ambulance, held at the Fairgrounds last Sunday afternoon, was a big success. There were in excess of 120 people, one of the busier such events of the summer, greatly helped by the earlier large turnout for the Linda Brennan Memorial from which many folks made their way to the Fairgrounds down the road. The Lions did their usual fine catering job and I imagine the Ambulance Department received a significant amount of funding. Kudos to the Joe Blow Band who have greatly improved: Sunday’s performance especially. (Before you think, “Who the hell does Turkey thinks he is?” I should inform you that I booked bands every Saturday night at a music venue in SF for 14 years and feel I have a somewhat informed opinion on this, just sayin’).

…Finally this week, I am one of many local folks who find it annoying when tourists drive along Highway 128 at 45mph without a thought in the minds about puling over to let others pass. What makes this particularly infuriating is that when they get into Boonville many of them fail to slow down and therefore dangerously maintain that same speed as they drive through town. Such folks are referred to as Tossers where I come from. Feel free to shout “You stupid tosser” at them whenever you get the chance.

I’m outtahere. I’ve got see a man about a sheep. So “please take me drunk, I’m home.” Be careful out there; if you break a leg don’t come running to me; stay out of the ditches; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; show love to your pets, they will be faithful and true to you to the last beat of their hearts. Remember to keep your windows cracked if you leave them in your vehicle; think good thoughts; Keep the Faith; don’t let life get in the way of living; may your god go with you, and may your dog go with you too. A final request, “Let us prey.” Sometimes poking, often stroking, but almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture. Contact me through the Letters Page or at turkeyvulture9@gmail.com. PS. Hi, George; hope you and Sheila are well. Is that “lafter” I hear, Carroll? Bobwhite Quail. keep up the knitting!

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