I Harmonize With Your Spam
by Tim Stelloh, January 15, 2010
Much of the spam we receive here at theAVA.com is of the fake comment variety--that is, posts disguised as comments arrive in my inbox that say something like: "Man; this is really the best post in the world guys.. I'll make sure to link to it on my blog!!!!"
The third-grade grammar usually gives 'em away--but embedded somewhere in there is the target for the Mark, the websites where said spammers are hoping you'll while away your days: heelsncleavage.com, bestpantyhoseontheplanet.net, flatratesexallday.info, etc.
This is the tedious, no-fun-at-all stuff--the stuff that's impossible to miss unless, well, you're this guy.
Then a different strain began arriving in my inbox. They're still the fake comment variety--and they have the familiar, off-kilter phrasing of a Nigerian bank scam. But instead of convincing me with exclamation points, they're doing it with an English dictionary, purple-to-the-enth flattery and a control of language that rivals someone with Tourette's.
As someone who writes for a living, I find myself supremely, unequivocally--nay, thirstily--convinced. I'll buy your pantyhose!!!!!!!
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No, much success to you firstname.lastname@example.org! And may you find tremendous lucidity in all of your business dealings!!!!