Bird’s Eye View

by Turkey Vulture, November 3, 2010

Greetings one and all. If you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin. Did you vote yesterday? Good, I’m proud of you. There are some excellent quotes that have been made on this topic so here we go with my three favorites for your Quotes of the Week. Let’s start with the classic by Abraham Lincoln who unforgettably said, “The ballot is stronger than the bullet.” Up next is drama critic George Jean Nathan’s comment, “Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.” And finally, one which I think should be followed to the letter here in the Valley, Madonna’s saucy remark, “If you don’t vote, you’re going to get a spankie!” It would almost be worth not voting, eh? That’s a joke; I’m (half) kidding.

Let’s move very quickly on to this week’s Public Service Announcements. #125. The Vets from the Men­docino Animal Hospital are coming to the Farm Supply in the Valley three times this month. Their first visit is tomorrow, Thursday Nov 4th when Dr. Burns will be in town. They will also be here on the following two Thursdays – Oct 11th (Dr. Bennett) and Oct 18th (Dr. Burns). #126. A very special event will take place this coming Sunday, October 7th at the Evergreen Cemetery on AV Way just north of Boonville. It’s in observance of Veterans Day and will start at 10.30am. Everyone is encouraged to attend as the American Legion and friends plan to commemorate and thank those who have served their country. Hopefully this important event will be well supported by our community. Please think seriously about attending. #127. On leaving the Veterans event, you could head for Philo where from 1-4pm on the 7th, at the new Golden Eye Winery facility at 1701 Hwy 128 (mile marker 21.4), there will be a fundraiser for the AV Fire Department. Perhaps inevitably, it will be a Tri-Tip bbq served with wines from the aforementioned winery. You will not need earplugs as all frost protection fans and machinery will be turned off, and besides, it is obvi­ously for a very good cause. #128. ‘Bingo and Dinner’ night returns to the Senior Center at 6pm next Tuesday, Nov 9th. It’s the hottest ticket in town and I suggest you get there early to get a good seat. All are welcome, not just seniors, and there will be Bingo prizes galore fol­lowing a wonderful feast of Shepherd’s Pie etc.

The big decision I knew I’d have to make on Satur­day regarding which Halloween Party to attend was made much easier as I flew over The Grange and spotted two women in corsets and high heeled boots entering the building to board the Voodoo Queen and no doubt enjoy the party and its Steam Punk theme. It was a ‘no-brainer’, as they say, and I inevitably followed them in... Once again The Magic Company had done a very impressive job and there was something to behold at every turn, from the train rides through graveyards out­side, to the large jars containing heads and body parts, to the fine sounds produced by D.J. Pete and the excellent performance by Dr Shock and the Short Circuits band with singers that included Lauren of Lauren’s of course, along with The Voodoo Queen herself – Patty Liddy (‘Proud Mary’ and ‘House of the Rising Sun’) and the Mad Scientist, Mike Crutcher, who performed a won­derful, crowd-pleasing rendition of Minnie the Moocher. The fashion show was also lots of fun and some people clearly had gone all out with their costumes. Let me not forget Bill Harper’s Gambling Saloon, Madame Charla­tan’s fortune telling, and perhaps my favorite act of the night - the Can-Can Girls who did a great routine in their petticoats and corsets that featured lots of bending over and high kicks that made many people very happy. Me certainly!... With lots of delicious snacks and refreshing beer and wine flowing, the crowd (of perhaps 150+) seemed to have a wonderful time both on and off the dance floor, whilst I personally spent most of the evening sipping beer and just people watching, trying to guess who was who behind the costumes and masks. However, at one point I did find myself in the company of Mark P and Jonesy, and sitting in their tent under a vibrating helmet with Jonesy’s hat placed over my private parts for reasons that were never explained to me. After undergo­ing their research on my head and brain, they presented me with a piece of paper that said ‘Your purity is matched only by your loveliness.’ Wow! How did they come up with that? Brilliant! I didn’t think anybody would ever find out... Great job, Magic Company!...

Time to take my leave, I have to see a woman about a corset... Be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Poking and stroking egos wherever necessary and, as always, humbly yours, Turkey Vulture. PS. Keep the Faith. PPS. Contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net

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