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Posts published by “Tommy Wayne Kramer”

Somewhere, Over The Faded Rainbow

Consider “Over the Rainbow.” Light, fragile, wistful, brimming with yearning and hope, young Dorothy sings about what she knows: Birds, trees, lemon drops and rainbows. Listeners know the same from our own fragmented memories. Judy…

‘Think I’ll Quit Having Tumors’

Quit drinking the other day, but knowing me, it won’t be long before I hit the bottle again. It’s my pattern.  That means I’ll soon be drinking again. Hallelujah.  I started in college and have…

Win Friends, Influence People

One of the things Mendocino County taught me was the value of being a conscience-free liar when useful and/or profitable. People have been coming to Mendotopia for years and decades, and a fair percentage of…

Unleashing The Zombies

Many of today’s social ills can be traced to, and laid at the doorstep of, well-meaning intellectual dwarves who were naive, smug and opinionated. In other words, the boomer generation. I know. I’m one. Things…

Where Yards & Gardens Fight Back

Having a pristine, manicured lawn has never been much of a priority for me, which is lucky because A) I’m lazy, and 2) the yard refuses to cooperate. And with California having outlawed lawn mowers…

And Earth’s Diameter Is 200 Miles

I’ve been skeptical of population estimates for a long time because it just seems there are far fewer people roaming around Planet Earth than statistics suggest.  Who hasn’t run into a friend from Ukiah at…

New Kid On Block Scolds His Neighbors

I’ve been in North Carolina for a year and figured when I learned how to spell “Chattanooga” I’d be enough of an expert to lecture locals on how to improve things for me. Being from…

Selling Newspapers, Springing Felons

As a kid I delivered newspapers (Cleveland News, Cleveland Press) and when I got older I worked 80-hour weeks in a ketchup factory. I spent college summers at a small shop that fabricated big ticket…

Eat, Get Poisoned. Don’t Eat, Starve.

I’ve always thought the fastest way to make a bunch of money is to steal a U.S. Mint printing press and start running off 20s in the garage. Not so sure anymore.  A car wash…

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