Bird’s Eye View

Greetings one and all. If you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin. Hopefully you’re enjoying the spirit of the Holidays and may Hummingbird and I wish you and yours the very best of health and happiness at this time of year and for 2010.

Meanwhile, who is familiar with the Xmas song, “All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth”? Most of you, I’m sure. Anyway, with this in mind, I may have a solution to your dental needs as the holiday season moves into top gear. I am reliably informed that more than a few Valley folks are avoiding the ridiculously high costs of such care in this country by choosing instead to fly to San Diego, then driving to Yuma, Arizona, before crossing into Mexico for about two blocks where they then receive excellent dental care before returning home. This whole adventure can be done in 48 hours and, in some of the more expensive procedures (root canals or ‘two front teeth’ for example) for about one quarter of the total cost! I’m really not sure what to say other than: Ya gotta like that!

Moving quickly on to a couple of the topics under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge — “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley.

…I was honored to be invited to the Independent Career Women’s Xmas Party last week and had a wonderful time. Held at The Boonville Lodge several other 3-Dot regulars were also in attendance and they were in agreement that this group of women, ranging from 20-Somethings to Nonagenarians, is a lot of fun to be around, and not just because the champagne was complimentary.

…A few days later I was also a guest at the Lions Club Christmas Dinner at The Broiler Steakhouse in Redwood Valley. Yet again the company and food was very enjoyable. Danny Kuny telling it like it is and the steak cooked to perfection. It’s not surprising that this venue receives so many rave reviews and was crowded with holiday partygoers. I am loathed to sing the praises of restaurants outside the Valley but on this occasion I can make an exception. So check it out. Trust me, you can thank me later.

…Speaking of restaurants, I read that Zack Anderson, eldest son of AVA Supreme Leader Bruce, and therefore heir to whatever ‘throne’ that may be, was singing the praises of Lauren’s Restaurant last week following his meal there on a Tuesday evening. It was the only place in town open that night and the satiated reveler added extra kudos for this. Fair enough, I say. However, if Mr. Zzzz had arrived for his rendezvous on a Monday evening instead of a Tuesday, he would have found that The Boonville Lodge was the only option. Furthermore, until two weeks ago, The Lodge had been the only Valley location open every single night of the week, serving the community, for the previous two years! Now its doors will close for the final time on December 31st, and until then the restaurant section will be closed on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. I just thought you should know.

…Meanwhile, it is unanimously agreed among 3-Dot regulars that every town needs a bar/restaurant and one can only hope that those who can make things happen around here realize that this is a fact of life, from a commercial, spiritual, and, perhaps most importantly, a community point of view. Claws-crossed, I say.

With The Lodge closing, in my humble opinion as the result of the unreasonable demands of a greedy landlord, many in the community are not happy. Lots of locals have expressed, quite frankly and openly, that they are pissed off and there is talk of a boycott if, as some suspect, the landlord is in someway connected to any new drinking/eating enterprise at the same location. That may be tough to carry out. In the meantime what is far easier to do is to come up with an appropriate Quote of the Week. How about the wise words of philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer who said, “To some, wealth is like sea-water; the more they drink, the thirstier they become.” It’s almost like Arthur once met some a couple of the landlords of small-businesses in Anderson Valley, wouldn’t you say?

Now before I take my leave and embark on my eating and drinking activities for the next week, let me just pass on to you a couple of Xmas thoughts that have often crossed my mind in recent years. Firstly, as a result of spending many Christmas holidays in San Francisco, and for a couple of years being the only straight vulture on a construction crew of five, I feel that I can state in a somewhat curmudgeonly way, but with a degree of authority, that Christmas is primarily for the enjoyment of gay men and children. Not that there is anything wrong with that of course. And secondly, having frequently witnessed the white-bearded grin of AVA Mighty Leader, Bruce Anderson, and heard his jolly laughter on many occasions, I am unable to get over the thought that the red-coated stranger who struggles to come down all of our Valley chimneys in the early hours of December 25th may not actually be Santa Claus.

Oops, I think it’s time to get my coat and leave. Be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts, and may your god go with you. Oh, a final request: “Let us prey.” Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture. PS. Contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net. PPS. ‘Happy Birthday’ to the Baby Jesus!