THE LAST CAPTURE?
Dear friend and fellow worker John Wester,
We really wanted to see you and your Jewish wife in the flesh. As we can attest, some things in life just don't happen. We are once again in Tom Allman's torture chamber hellhole, or poor man's health spa depending on how you adapt. I am re-reading Hemingway, a great writer who blew his brains out at age 62. I felt that way myself, but my early years in Catholic school convinced me of two things: 1. It is a crime against God to commit suicide. 2. A decent and caring man never divorces. We never have, we just keep adding them on.
We are fortunate that all my “wives” especially Tami-Diane, my #1 ex, are standing with me.
The bad guys are trying to kill me. I won’t, er, will bore you with the latest total injustice. I was arrested for breathing air in Fort Bragg. I was not drunk, not causing anybody any harm. I was accused of not downloading my bracelet two days after the probation officer demanded that I return it — which I did.
Next to Joe Hill, Debs, Sacco and Vanzetti, Judi Bari, etc. my coming death at the hands of the HIDs (hoodlums in government) pales.
After my last capture we had our fourth heart attack along with my colo-rectal cancer and tuberculosis. We don't expect to live much longer.
We know that my family, my union and my nation will carry on.
Up with the rebels,
Alan ‘Captain Fathom’ Graham
Ukiah/Albion
O-BOMB-A
Greetings Editor:
That fading inaugural glow…
No matter what color a cat is, a politician is still a politician, and Barack O-bomb-a is just that: a politician. I'm amazed at people baffled by O-bomb-a. Every O-bomb-a maniac is now wearing a rubber chicken on top of their heads as mediocrity comes home to roost! That same musty old Hope expecting fresh new change doesn't seem to “work.”
John Schults
Willits
THE CRIMINAL CLASS
Hey, Newstender,
Another round for the house! Keep them coming until the money runs out. Here's my $50 so I can keep on pounding them down. Please don't stop till my eyes pop out and my head explodes!
Thanks,
Doug Lotz
Mad River
PS. Question for anyone who might know why the criminal organizations known as big oil, Wall Street bankers, multinational corporations, Big Pharma, Congress, Senate, etc. are not being prosecuted under the RICO act which was used to go after organized crime groups such as the Mafia, drug dealers, street gangs etc. Just wondering why not? Anyone know? Just asking!
DOUBLE YOUR DONATION
Dear AV community,
The Elderhome board is delighted to announce that with generous community support and a grant from the Mendocino County tobacco settlement committee we paid down our mortgage by $200,000 in 2009. Thanks to a local donor and with your invaluable help, the mortgage can be reduced by an additional $100,000!
An anonymous pledge of $50,000 has been made toward the mortgage *if* it is matched by the community. So this holiday season your tax-deductible contribution to the Valley's nonprofit, community owned Elderhome will be doubled, helping us take another big step toward making our much-needed assisted living facility a reality.
In 2009 we also celebrated the completion of $100,000 in improvements to the Elderhome property. These included the new water and septic systems that are core elements for rebuilding the house into an approved assisted living facility.
Right now, however, the goal is to reduce our debt before taking hammers in hand. It's the fiscally responsible thing to do.
Please give as generously as you can and remember that your contribution at this time will be doubled. Every pledge brings us closer to starting construction and achieving our goal of keeping our elders at home in the Valley.
“We very definitely need the Elderhome, otherwise families are torn away from our beautiful valley. This valley has become a little hamlet. Even if you are not related, you know almost everyone. This community is a family.”
Lucille Estes
Boonville
Stephen Krieg, President
Anderson Valley Elderhome
PO Box 455, Boonville, CA 95415. 707-895-3889
MUDSLIDE PREVENTION
Letter to Editor
Yearly mudslides and wildfires can, and should, be prevented with Supertanker jumbo jets, but the fire officials refuse to do it!
If they had put the Station Fire (and others) out when it started by using the DC-10s or 747 Supertanker water bombers and others immediatly at the START of the fire as the firefighters were calling for, but were REFUSED by uppercrust fire officials, there wouldn't be the mudslide threat we now have resulting from the 280+ square miles of charred forest that the US Forest Service deliberately ALLOWED the original 15 acre fire to spread to and burn.
We must stop this kind of suicidal “fire management” by the Fire Industrial Complex that has been burning our state and country for over 16 years with protracted fires for power and profit that devastate and kill EVERY year.
We must demand that wildfires be STOPPED IMMEDIATLY WITH SUPERTANKERS every time the fires START while the fires are still small, which the Forest Services have NEVER done. We must contact every politician there is about this to stop this yearly horrible loss of life and homes from wildfire and the resulting MUDSLIDES caused by absence of vegetation destroyed by wildfires that Supertankers would have stopped if called in time!
We must get organized and DEMAND the jumbo jet Supertanker aircraft. See evergreen supertanker (on internet) being used at the START of wildfires.
Sincerely,
Ed Nemechek
Landers
THE ANGEL STORY
Dear Editor:
Today we attended an Explorer's Club Christmas luncheon. Gifts were exchanged. One person received a decorative ornament for the top of a Christmas tree. He was quite pleased as his angel was quite tattered and needed replacing.
This got me to thinking about the tradition of putting an angel ornament on top of the Christmas tree. Not many people know how the tradition got started.
Back in the 1950s Santa was having quite a lot of trouble with his helpers. The elves were sitting around drinking and smoking cigarettes. The reindeer were frolicking in the meadows, rather than going to the gym in preparation for their one hard night’s work. And the angel was behaving like a teenager (you know what *that* means).
Worried, on the 20th Santa went to check on his troops. The elves had hardly enough toys for Canada, let alone Europe and America. The reindeer hadn't done anything to the sleigh; the damage from that little incident in Barstow was unrepaired. And the whole sleigh needed a coat of paint.
He looked for the angel and finally found her — still asleep at 12:30 in the afternoon. He woke her up — not gently.
He called a meeting and made a get-tough speech. The elves were to work 24 hour a day shifts to catch up. The reindeer were to drop everything and get cracking on the sleigh — including the harnesses. The angel asked, “What should I do?” Santa put her in charge of the finding and decorating a Christmas tree.
On December 24th Santa checked their progress. It was a disaster! The elves were all drunk and there were still no toys for Alaska, New Zealand, Poland or New Jersey. The sleigh had been fixed, but not repainted. The harnesses had not even been touched. Jeez, what a cockup. It was a low point in Santa’s long career.
About that time the angel walked in, dragging this pathetic looking, crummy Christmas tree. In a harpy voice she asked, “Santa, what'll I do with this Christmas tree?”
And Santa told her.
And that's how the tradition of putting an angel on top of the Christmas tree got started.
It's a simple, but lovely Christmas story. Pass it on to your children.
Best regards,
Bart Boyer
San Diego
TRUST NO ONE
Dear Mr. Stelloh
I enjoy your writing and especially liked last week's Mainstream Media Madness, given its relevance. The AVA is the best little newspaper in the west precisely because it isn't mainstream. Over the decades the AVA has been allowed to publish so much subversive material because it is whispering into the whirlwind. What's remarkable about the mainstream media is the unity of its ownership and voice. It controls not just the national agenda but the people's vocabulary, values and “world view.” The best media critic ever was George Orwell.
What Henry Adams wrote during the 19th Century is doubly-true today, “The press is the hired agent of a monied system, and set up for no other purpose than to tell lies where the interests are involved. One can trust nobody and nothing.”
Bruce Patterson
Boonville
THE HIGHEST PRIESTS
Dear Bruce,
Religion, you want religion? I’ll give you religion — the new one; it’s called Corporateism. It has millions of followers already. It began as a cult, as all religions do.
The first few members were called the owners of the trading companies that went around the world “exploring” in the search for profits. That readily morphed step by step into today’s full blown religion, the goal of which is always to control the populace.
The god of this is called Corporation. By law it is a person. And it is worshipped by all who genuflect at the font of profit. There is definitely a hierarchy, with the CEOs at the top, (acting as high priests), then come the middle managers (acting as deacons), followed by the workers, (acting as parishioners).
The dogma is right up-front. It encompasses the concept “capitalism good-socialism bad” Along with this is the other dogma-in-chief, “Free market good-regulated market bad.” These two are chanted continuously by the devout (acting as a catechism).
There is also a trinity in this religion. Growth-profit-and the invisible hand of the market are all there (acting as the father, the son, and the holy ghost). You can’t separate them because it is a holy trinity.
Like every other religion this one also takes money from the poor and redistributes it to those on top. It is not called charity; it’s called tithing, and it is no more voluntary in Corporateism than it is in old religions.
It is a social mechanism for redistributing the wealth upwards to the corporation (acting as church). Middle managers allow themselves to be part of this upward flow (acting as preachers of the corporate party line).
The power in this religion comes from above, from the stock owners, manipulators, traders, insiders, and brokers (acting as god and the angels). Part of the control of the populace comes in the form of social events, such as sport games, computer games, game shows on tv (acting as pallatives on critical thought). Another means with which they control the populace is via fear. If you do not obey you will end up broke (acting as ‘if you do not obey you will end up in hell’).
As Karl Marx so aptly said, the ideas of the ruling class are the ideas adopted by those who are ruled. This is true in Corporateism (acting as the word of god). There is even a holy book titled “The Wealth of Nations” (acting as the Holy Bible). Marx also said that religion is the opiate of the people. Corporaetism makes the populace feel good by providing the delusory dream of getting rich someday (acting as going to heaven).
Finally (oh there’s more, but space is limited), Corporateism has a set of rules known as the Corporate Creed (acting as the Ten Commandments). Thou shalt not go bankrupt. Thou shalt not be generous. Thou shalt not have any other god before profit. Thou shalt not refrain from ruining the competition. Thou shalt not refrain from denying responsibility for harmful acts. Thou shalt not care about community. Thou shalt not treat workers fairly. Thou shalt have dominion over the globe and all under the heavens. Thou shalt make alliances with the devil if need be. Thou shalt know that all are greedy by nature.
So it is as we enter the 21st Century that the old god has been replaced; the new god is well ensconced in the boardroom (acting as high temple). Yes, the new one is filled with as many internal contradictions as the old religion. That doesn’t seem to bother the parishioners, nor does it seem to bother the populace. The opiad is working well, thank you. Praise profit!
Lee Simon
Far ‘n Away Farm
Virginia
THE BEST DEAL
Editor,
It’s not worth it. That $2 you might save at a big chain or buy on the internet.
This notion struck me solidly the other day when I read about Spencer Brewer’s music store closing. I consider Spencer one of the community’s greatest assets. An excellent musician himself, Spencer has brought music into our Ukiah valley in so many ways: his recording studio, a music school and performance space, Music in the Park, producing local music shows at his shop, piano concerts and his shop itself. Essential gifts for our community. But customers weren’t buying from his store because they thought the internet was cheaper.
Now I was an early internet fan and have purchased many things by catalog. But I’ve learned to adjust my thinking and that’s not easy for me, as I love a good deal. I am adjusting though, because, well, it’s just not worth it. Cheap is not value. The lowest price is not the best deal. First of all, someone local will help you get it fixed if there is a problem. Secondly, the owner and staff of that store generally has some product knowledge and can help you make an informed choice.
On top of that, the dollars I spend on local goods has even more added value.
Here is the idea: Buying local products at locally owned businesses keeps money circulating in our community. This creates a ripple effect as those businesses and their employees in turn spend that money locally (we hope). Corporate chains send most of your money out of town.
The rule of thumb is that for every dollar spent at a local business 45¢ is reinvested locally. For every dollar spent at a large corporate chain, only 15¢ is reinvested locally.
Every local purchase triggers purchases by others within a community. For instance, a dollar spent on rent might be spent again by the local property owner at the local grocer, who in turn pays an employee, who then buys a movie ticket. This phenomenon is what economists call “the local multiplier.” The more times a dollar circulates within a defined geographic area and the faster it circulates without leaving that area, the more income, wealth, and jobs it creates. This basic concept in community economics highlights the importance of maximizing the numbers of dollars being spent locally.
I believe that supporting local enterprise should be part of any strategy for economic regeneration. Local enterprises are more likely to employ local people, provide services to improve the local quality of life, spend money locally, promote community unity and, by reducing transportation of goods from far away, will have less environmental damage.
More than employers and profit-takers, local business people are also neighbors, community builders, and the starting point for aligning commerce with the common good. Local business generally pays better than big box stores and seldom cuts their hours so they won’t have to pay full time benefits.
The national and global economy has failed to live up to its promise of providing stable livelihoods and has placed our communities and our environment in great peril.
Especially now, we need to rethink our local economy and make it stronger. It is time to rethink that $2 savings and use your money with more effect. Let’s keep good community stores alive. Local is worth it.
Michael Laybourn
Hopland
A GOOD BUY
Hello,
This is Javier Silva from the Sherwood Valley Band of Pomo. I support what the Potter Valley Pomo plan on doing on the land outside of Fort Bragg and encourage them to continue with their economic efforts. The people in Fort Bragg well know our presence with the small community located on the Noyo Harbor made up of Sherwood Valley members. We appreciate any support from the Fort Bragg community in our efforts to restore, enhance and respect our cultural values. We are the original stewards of the land and as such we look to protect our environment. Our people continue to gather and hunt to this day. We need to reassure them that it is safe to do so now and in the future. Again, I want to show my support for the Potter Valley Pomo and hope to work with them, the people of Fort Bragg and the county in the near future. Thank you for your time.
Javier Silva
Sherwood Valley Band of Pomo
MOUNTAIN DOO
Editor,
Imagine my surprise when a kind soul at the Emerald Cup in Laytonville last week told me, “There was a cartoon of you in the AVA. Did you catch it?”
“Wha? What are you talking about?”
“Yeah, there was a cartoon of you hitchhiking down the highway, and it's a close resemblance.”
“Really? I missed it. Dr Doo?”
“Yep.”
“Was I nude?”
“I didn't notice that.”
Puzzled, I checked out back issues and yes, there 'twas, buried underneath an ad, easy to overlook.
I was “hightailing it down 128.” But I wasn't hitchhiking. I was running on LSD, smiling, carrying a lunchbox with a peace sign painted on it.
That's an accurate characterization since most LSD users were anti-war.
LSD, 'shrooms and marijuana — all central nervous system expanders — fueled the peace movement. It was our oil.
Would anyone disagree?
I'd previously told the story of my Boston experience — being able to run a mile with acid in my system without tiring, learning the benefits first hand.
I was escaping an overbearing bully who wouldn't stop hassling me, who followed me off the bus, brazen, bellowing, hoping to slow me down.
The opposite occurred. I sped up. My instinct is to run from bombs.
Fight or flight? I chose flight, running underneath the elevated train, the noise and lights protect.
It was the clarity of the LSD that released my enhanced energy to run at top strength with the presence of mind to focus on the problem.
I don't recall being tired at all. Running underneath the elevated train provided protection.
My own brief experience with athletic excellence cleared the cobwebs of my mind and tells me that the story of the pitcher who threw a no-hitter while on LSD is absolutely credible.
As a youngster baseball catcher and standing broad jump competitor, I know how to appreciate an excellent game.
Pebbles Trippet
Elk
OBAMA’S WAR MACHINE
To the Editor:
President Obama has ordered an additional 30,000 troops into Afghanistan in 2010, increasing American troops to 98,000. Obama is nothing more than a puppet, doing what he has been told. The oil pipeline from the Caspian Sea to the Arabian Sea via Turkmenistan, Afghanistan, and Pakistan will be established and American combat troops will be withdrawn. A contingent of American troops will remain in Afghanistan to protect oil interests. We have been involved in this “blood for oil” war for eight years. The deaths and injuries continue and will soon escalate.
This is similar to the performance by the puppet George W. Bush when he ordered the 2003 invasion of Iraq in order to control their oil. 4,367 American military gave their lives and more than 30,000 suffered injuries in the “blood for oil” war in Iraq. Tens of thousands of Iraqi men, women, and children gave their lives or suffered injuries also in the George W. Bush “blood for oil” war. The deaths and injuries in the war continue more than six years later.
Organizations are encouraging American troops to refuse to fight but military personnel are trained killers and the majority will follow orders. Many congressional representatives are puppets and therefore only do what their financial backers tell them to do as they continue to fund the wars.
President Obama has set the defeat of al Qaeda as his objective in Afghanistan. Al Qaeda is a CIA front group. Al Qaeda, the CIA front group, is responsible for many terror related activities over the years such as: 2001 — 9/11 WTC tragedies; 2005 — 7/7 London bombings; 2004 — Madrid train bombings; 2003 — Jakarta hotel bombing; 2000 — USS Cole bombing; 1998 — Kenya and Tanzania U.S. embassy bombings; 1993 — WTC bombing; 1988 — Pan Am Lockerbie bombing.
A ubiquitous foundation of “terror” has been established on this planet by the U.S. and certain allies. The CIA/al Qaeda terror group is assisted by other intelligence organizations such as MI5 in the UK, ISI in Pakistan, and Saudi Arabian intelligence.
The American people have got to expose the puppeteers that are the hidden face of terrorism. This will take years of dedicated work by investigators that value freedom over their footsteps into the danger zone to stop this perpetual war machine. The outer circle of puppeteers includes the “Council on Foreign Relations.” As one looks deeper into the inner circles the elite moneyed interests in the world begin to appear on the landscape.
The American people have got to identify, prosecute, and imprison the elite moneyed interests that are responsible for global terrorism and “blood for oil” wars.
Bob Wilkinson
Laytonville
RESPECT OTHER FAITHS
Editor,
A Christmas tree is an expression of religious faith for Christians. I am at a loss to understand its appropriateness in the workplace.
There is a very large expression of this religious faith in the lobby of the Financial District office building where I work. Many employees in America are not Christian, and the presence of a Christian symbol in the office serves to remind us that we are different, that to some, we do not truly belong here.
I am saddened by the insensitivity of the building management and surprised that this particular management company, being Jewish, would not have thought to be more inclusive of all people who pass through the building lobby.
Marilyn Wacks
Montara
TWO QUESTIONS
Howdy,
1.Where does one access the “farmer's weather” report?
2.What is an ideologue?
As to the first question, we here experienced the same problem with the weather forecast a week ago, because it didn't rain like it was supposed to, we got caught unprepared for the extreme freezing. It was down to 12 — 14 degrees (depending on which temp. gauge one looked at), for three nights.
We have experienced below 10 degrees here back in the '90's.
In the early '70's it got cold enough to top kill mature native trees (bay, maple, alder) which is pretty unusual.
The second question comes from the use of the term by Stelloh (Mainstream Media Madness, 12/9/09).
When he lumped Amy Goodman and Ann Coulter in the same category, I had to go to Webster’s to define terms.
Unfortunately, my copy does not define ideologue. Rather than try to piece the word together, I ask you as you are a man who knows words.
John Phillips
String Creek, Willits
--
Ed note: An ideologue, John old boy, is a person whose opinions don't coincide with ours. Technically, of course, an ideologue is a person who translates reality through the prism of a theory or, as most people would probably say, the straitjacket of a theory. Coulter, a stone fascist, would almost certainly prefer to goose step through her paces at Fox News, but I understand Murdoch has told her that his viewers aren't quite ready for on-camera swastikas. Goodman? Not an ideologue but a lefty-wefty reformer heavy on PC opinion of the received type, and wayyyyy too light on the irony, I'd say, and kinda cult-like in the devotion of her listeners, not that that's her fault. She's an important antidote, though, to the deluge of misinformation delivered by the rest of the media, most of it owned by very rich people who, like Coulter, yearn for The Big Crackdown. As for the secret weather reports, the only way to get the true skinny the local farmers get —pot farmers need not apply — is to be a member of the Farm Bureau, and even if you're a member you still have to call 462-6664 for an unlisted number, which you cannot get unless you belong to the Farm Bureau, or know somebody who is.
GOODMAN’S NO COULTER
Editor,
Re. Tim Stelloh’s silly, shallow article, “Main¬stream Media Madness (AVA, 12/9/09):—
1. Comparing Amy Goodman with Ann Coulter is ludicrous. Goodman is a serious journalist who has earned her reputation by risking her life in East Timor to cover a massacre by the Indonesian army, being arrested in Minneapolis, and detained at the Canadian border while covering news stories in the field. She’s known for asking hard questions to people in power — most famously to Bill Clinton, unlike Coulter whose forte is spawning facile, uninformed opinions like recommending that the US convert all the inhabitants of Iraq to Christianity or calling the murder of a doctor a “retroactive abortion.”
2. Equally demeaning — to Mr. Stelloh, is dismissing Noam Chomsky as a “lefty media critic par excellance [sic].” If Stelloh had read any of Mr. Chomsky’s books instead of the blurbs on the back of the book, it might have enhanced his comprehension of the limits of mainstream corporate media.
In “Manufacturing Consent,” Chomsky explains that five factors act as filters in the corporate media in determining what news is fit to print:
1. Size, ownership, and profit orientation.
2. Advertising as the primary income source. (My local NPR station, WNCR, receives a large grant from Monsanto. This doesn’t give the station much incentive to investigate the dangers of BGH or GMOs.)
3. Reliance on information provided by government, business, and “experts” — often funded and approved by the aforementioned primary sources.
4. “Flak” as a means of disciplining the media.
5. Anti-communism (and anti-socialism) as a national religion and control mechanism.
Thus, whether it’s Fox News, The New York Times, or your local NPR station, the tone may be different, but the message is the same: Support for imperial wars, scant information on the destruction of the planet by corporations, skepticism toward or omission of serious discussion about global climate change, bovine acceptance of the status quo.
Stelloh is an intellectual dwarf attempting to gain attention and credibility by smearing Goodman and Chomsky, and obfuscating the dangers of mainstream media. He recalls the lyrics of Bob Dylan:
“And the words that are used
For to get the ship confused
Will not be understood as they’re spoken.”
Louis Bedrock
Roselle, New Jersey
--
Tim Stelloh replies: Whoa' there Louis, easy on the invective. I'm not sure what article you read, but I never said the MSM critique was dead—I said the word is. To quote myself, “MSM” isn't “a critique of powerful institutions anymore; it’s simply a way for politicians and political organizations and powerful people to talk about politics.” My point in comparing Goodman to Coulter was simple: On issues of domestic politics, each represents an ideological position so entrenched their critiques and commentary feel like talking points from their respective ends of the ideological spectrum. Yes, Goodman has one of the best digests of undercovered foreign news around. But just as you'll never hear Coulter criticize James Dobson or Mike Huckabee or Dick Cheney, you won't hear Amy Goodman critically interview Dennis Kucinich or Ralph Nader or Barbara Lee, or any other of the left's sacred cows. Which is a shame, because the real left—not the fictional left of Barack Obama and Bill Clinton—but the real left, is in laughable shape. They have no power—and perhaps a few “hard questions” would do them some good. Regarding Chomsky, I'm not following you on the one-man smear campaign I've apparently initiated, as I'm not sure how “lefty media critic par excellence” could possibly be interpreted as derisive. For your benefit, I'll translate without the fancy French: He's one of the left's most sophisticated public intellectuals when it comes to media. I'll be even plainer: I like him. I respect him. And I respect his ideas. I certainly don’t want to leave the impression that I’ve besmirched the good name of Noam.
GIMME SHELTER LETTERS
Dear Editor,
What a pleasant surprise to see the lead article from the AVHC September Newsletter printed in last week's Letters to the Editor! It happily joins the company of the Housing Association's and Senior Center's fund raising letters that appeared in previous editions of the AVA. This public service is much appreciated.
Thanks,
Susan Addison
Boonville
VICTIMS AS PERPS
Editor,
You cite a study from something called the Migration Policy Institute which proves that the economic assets and liabilities of illegal immigration into the US is a wash. Is this the same type of current scientific statistical analysis that proves that unemployment is at 10% and that the “recession” is over?
The Migration Policy Institute's website lists its sponsors. Among them are various quasi government agencies (i.e. Fanny Mae Corporation) and foundations created by the robber barons of the late 19th and early 20th centuries: Carnegie Corporation of New York; John D. and Catherine T MacArthur Foundation; The Rockefeller Foundation; and The Ford Foundation. These gangsters will support anything that provides an endless supply of cheap, docile, easily exploited labor.
Also, I wonder if the study factored in the 15,000 illegal aliens currently in California prisons? Heroes of the working class, all. And, now that the dope harvest is in, is it safe to hike in the Mendocino woods?
Regards,
Jock Penn
Shawano, Wisconsin
--
Ed reply: Are you suggesting that capitalism's cruelties are caused by its most obvious victims? Dopes in the woods aren't seasonal. They're always out there.
REAL TROOP SUPPORT
Anderson Valley Community:
Thank you for all the support you’ve given toward our Holiday For The Troops fund-raiser. We appreciate every single contribution of items and money donated toward sending packages to the troops in Iraq. A big thank you to All That Good Stuff, AV Market, and Lemons’ Market in Philo for allowing us to set up donation boxes at their stores.
Sincerely,
Ed & Candy Slotte & Family
Boonville
CHEETAHS
Dear AVA:
What's worse: screwing a dozen women out of wedlock, or screwing thousands of loyal employees out of their pensions?
Yesterday, Accenture announced it was ending its six-year relationship with Tiger Woods because it's worried about its reputation with the American public. Really? So the same company that was so embroiled in the Enron scandal that it had to change its name from Arthur Anderson to Accenture is nervous that Tiger is a moral liability? That's rich.
It has been a long struggle for the Fortune 500 company. For years, Arthur Anderson/Accenture worked really hard to reinvent itself. In fact, it's what makes the company and Tiger such a perfect match, especially now. They are like two cubs in a cage.
Arthur Anderson/Accenture has such rock solid experience in turning its reputation around, shouldn't it offer Tiger and his pussycats some advice. Maybe Tiger could get a name change too. How about “Tender”? Or “Love”? Maybe “Sweetiepie”? From where I stand, Tiger and Arthur Anderson/Accenture should be getting a room, not calling it splits.
Tiger should be using his hiatus from the game to sharpen his skills in the PR world. And the fact is, Arthur Anderson/Accenture knows damage control. Tiger's ad tagline proves it: “It's what you do next that counts.”
Yes, Arthur Anderson/Accenture, it certainly is.
Naomi Seligman
Los Angeles
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