The KUKI Sale Revisited

Anyone over the age of too old probably remembers the daily “KUKI Sale” that ran mornings on radio AM 1400.

It was pronounced “Cookie” sale and was hosted by a variety of DJs, also known as on-air personalities, including luminaries like Bruce Williams, Jim Cool, Kathleen Stone, Jeff Mullins, Roe Edmunds and half a dozen others.

The KUKI Sale was old-fashioned, down home and highly entertaining. Why it was discontinued I never knew, and why it can’t be brought back I’ll never know.

The KUKI Sale went something like this:

DJ: Good morning and welcome to the KUKI Sale. This is Chuck Savage and I’ll be with you through the noon hour. Now let’s take the first caller, Earl from Potter Valley. Go ahead, Earl.

Yes, this is Earl from out in Potter Valley and I have fresh peaches for sale, fifty cents a pound, six dollars a bushel. Fresh here in Potter Valley, out on Burris Lane. Call me or come by the Farmer’s Market Sundays.

DJ: Thank you Earl, and next we have Laureen from Comptche. Laureen, did you say you have a piano for sale?

Right, Chuck. I have a piano and four snow tires. The piano is a Bristol Heritage Schoolmaster and we had it tuned a month ago. I’d like a hundred dollars for it, and $15 each for the snow tires or you can have all four for $50.

DJ: Sounds like a good deal, Laureen and good luck with that piano. Our next caller is Marge here in Ukiah. Go ahead Marge.

Thank you Chuck and I just want to say how much I enjoy the KUKI sale and your weekend Blast From the Past show. Our dog Molly had a litter of six Golden Retriever purebred pups that all look just like her, and they’re free to good homes, eight weeks old, had their shots and wormed. Six little pups. Come to the Safeway parking lot noon to 3 p.m. Sunday. And thank you all.

DJ: Julia? Julia from Maple Drive is next.

Yes, and by now everyone in town knows that skunk of a husband of mine has gone to Reno with his trashy teenage girlfriend. So I have free golf clubs, a Harley Davidson I’d like $50 for, and season tickets to the 49ers. Those are free too. Big yellow house on Maple; come get what you want.

DJ: Whew! Uhh, now let’s pause and go to the Mail Bag where you can send in a KUKI Sale item to the station here on KUKI Lane in Ukiah. First is a note from Mabel in Calpella and Mabel says she needs a ride to Healdsburg this coming weekend to visit her grandson with a broken leg. Mabel says she can pay $3 and help with gas. Give her a call at 462-8VX5.

Next, Fred on West Road in Redwood Valley has a’55 Nash Rambler he’d like to get $200 for. Runs good, V-6, green in color.

And Michelle in Boonville writes and says she’d like to learn to knit and can pay up to $1.50 an hour for lessons. Michelle is 14 and will come to your home on weekends. Call Michelle for details.

Now back to the phone lines, where we have Maurice in Hopland.

Yes, Hello? This is Maurice and I live down in Hopland. I fell off a ladder last week painting my garage and I need someone to finish the job. Small garage, 16-by-20, and only just got started before I fell and hurt my back.

I’ll pay $35 if someone will come do the rest. I got the paint and brush and ladder. Call me…

DJ: Next we have Hazel from the Golden Rule Ranch up on the Willits grade. Hello Hazel and welcome to the KUKI Sale!

Why thank you! I have raw, organic milk available for forty cents a gallon, available here at the ranch. Goat and cow, raw and organic. Bring your own sterilized glass container, and it’s forty cents per gallon. Thank you. We also have a selection of cheese, and baby goats for adoption. Thank you.

KUKI Radio Sale, 2034

DJ: Well good morning to everyone out here in radio-land. We’ve got the KUKI Sale where we take your calls and notes, right after a word from VAPE-O-COMA and our friends at TatTuna Ink, Piercings and Body Art.

DJ: OK now, our first caller is Obama O’Brien in Leggett. What you got Obama?

Hey, this is O-Man, North County, and I’m looking to buy antique hoop houses, abandoned ones, to set up a visitor park on my property. I’ll give half a pound for hoop houses in good shape. Thanks, bruh!

DJ: Our next caller, Angie Antifa in Philo. Angie you’re on the line!

Hey Bizzy! Love your show. I’m giving away a coupon good for $100 off on a piercing at Tattoonatics parlor. Call me or stream your Weeble.

DJ: Thanks Angie, and that reminds me: Here at KUKI we have two tickets for the Rolling Stones live at Carl Purdy Hall tonight. We’ll give ’em to the first caller with the answer to KUKI’s Question of the Day:

Ready? OK, today’s question: “What KUKI disc jockey who once hosted the KUKI sale is still here at the station, and in fact is the boss? First caller with the answer gets tickets to see the Stones' Feeble Infirmity Tour at the Fairgrounds tonight.”