Things were about as exciting as they get in Mendoland on Friday, July 20th, 2001, when the MV Mendocino was officially christened at Noyo Harbor in Fort Bragg. A band played, people cheered, Mendo poobahs excoriated, and a champagne magnum finally shattered after repeated failed attempts to break it on the bow of northern California’s latest addition to the Golden Gate Bridge District’s commuter ferry fleet.
I had taken a few hours off from my Social Services job nearby and arrived at Jim Cumming’s Dock in Noyo Harbor where a large crowd was greeted by a huge banner on the Noyo Bridge which advertised Fetzer-brand alcoholic beverages. Numerous speakers without much to say spoke — and spoke, and spoke, and spoke… Mrs. Delbar, the apparent wife of then-Second District Supervisor Michael Delbar, spoke at length of the glories and bounty of eastern Mendocino County. An unidentified representative of State Senator Wesley Chesbro described her recent trip to Lisbon, Portugal, and a bridge there which, she gleefully noted, was similar to the Golden Gate Bridge! Who knew?!
The owner of the shipyard where the MV Mendocino was built described all the teamwork that went into the construction of the large catamaran-style high-speed ferry. The manager of the Golden Gate Transit Fleet Division introduced various employees. Hal Brown, President of the Golden Gate Transit Authority Board kept his remarks mercifully short, noting that “every elected official between Fort Bragg and Reno” had said it all already. So true.
Making matters worse, the tedious speechifying was elongated by countless “flourishes” served up by the five-piece band situated on the top deck of the MV Mendocino. Almost at random, it seemed, the band would erupt with a salutatory tah-ta-ta-tah-ta-ta-TAHHHH! before, during and after each elocution. Almost every momentary pause by a speaker invariably produced another jolting flourish.
There appeared to be hundreds of important people in attendance who were allowed to sit in white chairs up front with white name tags. Other notables in attendance were Fourth District Supervisor Patti Campbell, Sheriff Tony Craver, and former Third District Supervisor Jim Eddie. Eddie was credited with engineering the naming of the boat after the County of Mendocino — part of the cush job he got as Mendocino County’s appointed member of the Golden Gate Bridge District after he retired from the Board of Supervisors. Why tiny Del Norte County got a ferry named in its honor before Mendocino County remains a curiosity. Napa County thus became the only Golden Gate Bridge District member county to be without a ferry namesake. (This embarrassing oversight was later corrected when the MV Snohomish was renamed the MV Napa.)
After the speechifying, a delegation of poobahs made its way on to the vessel to do the actual christening. For some reason known only to the poobahs, the delegation stopped at midship — a photo op? — where there appeared to be a gangway opening, at which time a large red and black banner was unfurled which looked very much like the United Farm Workers’ flag. A large antique two-handed woodsaw magically appeared and several poobahs pantomimed sawing the banner in half. Fortunately, the banner had been pre-perforated so it easily split in half as planned before anyone could get a good look at it.
The poobah delegation then marched to the bow of the ship and a large magnum of bubbly was produced.
It never ceases to amaze in this day and age that public officials insist on christening things by shattering a perfectly good bottle of booze and sending several pounds of broken glass into the poor, overburdened and polluted environment. Are these people supposed to be our role models, condoning the continued pollution of Noyo Harbor with more piles of glass shards? Arrgh.
In any event, the comely mistress of ceremonies was designated as Official Christener. She gamely whacked the magnum against the MV Mendocino’s front guardrail several times to no avail. The stout magnum refused to shatter. The scene was reminiscent of Bess Truman’s first public event as First Lady when she tried in vain to christen a World War II Navy vessel, but the stubborn bottle would not shatter.
And so it was Bess Truman Revisited, Mendo style, as our lovely mistress of ceremonies banged the bottle on the guardrail time and time again to shatter the magnum. No luck.
After several frustrating minutes, the Golden Gate Transit Fleet Manager, looking both embarrassed and irritated, snatched the magnum from the mistress of ceremonies and hauled off and bashed the magnum on the guardrail himself. Hard. Success! Pounds of glass shards and a few ounces of bubbly finally made their way into the Noyo. As far as I could tell, no one was hurt.
After this halting accomplishment, the poohbah delegation made its way back to the aft of the ship where Supervisor Campbell took it upon herself to personally greet the hundreds of fellow boarders entering the new ship to inspect it.
The band began playing what at first seemed to be an unfamiliar tune, until I realized that they were doing their own special version of the 70s tune, ‘Mendocino.’ I always thought of it more as a keyboard tune.
And there it was, the sun shining, the band playing ‘Mendocino,’ and the glistening catamaran proudly resting in Noyo Harbor just before making its way south to San Francisco Bay. The new boat proudly tooted its horn and two Fort Bragg Volunteer Fire Department representative engines chimed in with their noisy honking. Log trucks up on Noyo Bridge added to the cacophony as they drove overhead.
It was a fun event, but next time I’d try simply cutting a ribbon. Less pollution. More probability of success.
(Ed note: Although it needed a major overhaul a few years after it was christened when it was discovered that the MV Mendocino was built with substandard materials, the MV Mendocino is still in service to this day shuttling passengers from Larkspur to San Francisco and back every day.)
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