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Light The Team

I know it’s early. I get that. But there’s enough of a sample size now to be able to predict that this year’s version of the San Francisco Giants baseball team falls somewhere between promising and pathetic. Last night the loudest cheer was when 49er QB Brock Purdy was introduced to the crowd while attending the latest lackluster 4-0 loss to the New York Mets. He even got a standing ovation. I wonder what would happen if Gabe Kapler were introduced to this very same crowd? You think he’d get a standing O right about now? Some fans might stand-up all right, but only to get a better angle to shout an expletive at the guy standing at the edge of the Giants dugout.

Giant manager Gabe Kapler’s analytics-style baseball has taken the fun and passion out our National Pastime and replaced it with all the excitement of an advanced student’s math class. You may have a favorite player on the team, but what guarantee do you have that you will find his name in the next day’s boxscore? The only guarantee with the platoon system is that the line up will be different everyday. And Farhan Zaidi’s thriftstore philosophy when signing players who are either passed their prime or can’t pass a physical has resulted in a baseball team that is guaranteed NOT to fill the stadium. Sometimes, to use an old expression, you can’t tell the players without a scorecard . Honestly. And good thing the farm club is just a bus ride up I-80 to Sacramento because the Giants top brass would sure be racking up a lot of expensive airline miles otherwise. And tell me. Who wants to spend top dollar on a ticket and $12 on a ballpark beer when the players you’re watching aren’t much better than warm lager from last night’s frat-party keg? S

So far the product on the field can be summed up in two words: Bore ring. No spark. No fire. No excitement. Something needs to happen. And soon. Would someone or something or some event please put an end to this somnabulance? Keep this up and pretty soon a home game at Oracle Park may look about as empty as the Oakland Mausoleum.

So what do they do?

Sign Madison Bumgarner.

What have you got to lose? Certainly won’t lose any fans. You won’t lose any money either. The Arizona Diamondbacks still owe him $34 million. They’ll even be signing his paychecks for awhile. So the Giants bring him back, they sit him down and they tell him his new role. From now on you are a spot reliever for left handed batters and, drum roll please, potentially our new power hitting designated hitter. Say what ?!? Maybe a bit far-fetched but a little time in the batting cage and he probably could do no worse than the current parade of K victims hanging around the Giant’s bat rack. He can hit. He can still find the strike zone with his pitches too. Our current bullpen sometimes can’t. His cutter is still effective against lefties and you know what? He’ll at least bring a little emotion to the mound. Boring is not a word used to describe Madison Bumgarner.

But above all, he’d be the club house leader this team has sorely missed since Buster Posey cleaned out his locker and left the building. From CEO Larry Baer down to the last guy collecting money in parking lot A, just about anyone evenly remotely connected to this organization has nothing but the utmost respect for who he is and what he’s done for the franchise. Not to mention the fans. Imagine if he returns in a Giant uniform and takes the field as an actual player and not just a publicity stunt signing for retirement purposes. If you think the ovation for Purdy was electric, just wait until Renel announces “Now pitching for the Giants… number 34… Madison Bumgarner.” You might even hear the crowd noise in Pacifica.

Yet his biggest contribution may be in the clubhouse. For all his skill looking at baseball spreadsheets, Gabe ‘Mr. Monotone’ Kapler seems to lack the inspirational push necessary to turn these statistics into wins. Where’s the passion? Where’s the emotion? This is a fairly young team and most of these guys are fresh out of Sacramento. Wait. Sacramento you say? So sign Madbum and tell him to do this.

Light the team!

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