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Cockamamie Story

It’s been several days since San Francisco police interrupted a hammer fight between Paul Pelosi — husband of House Speaker Nancy — and his “friend… David,” in the Pelosis’ Pacific Heights home, and apparently the cops have not asked David DePape why he was there in the first place. Odd, a little bit. Is it possible that a whole chain of authorities from the SFPD clear up into the top of the US government and its Democratic Party sidekicks don’t want you to know what actually happened?

So far, not much in this cockamamie story adds up. Quite a bit is known now about the attacker, David DePape. He was a colorful character on the scene in radical Berkeley across the bay, a “nudist activist” and BLM supporter. He’d lived there and had a child with one Oxane “Gypsy” Taub, a fellow nude activist and whack-job, who has spent time in prison for child abduction. That partnership ended seven years ago and DePape has been homeless on and off since then. Acquaintances and Berkeley neighbors describe him as not mentally healthy, saying he exhibits psychotic delusions and is sometimes incoherent.

So far, police have not disclosed how DePape journeyed from Berkeley to Pacific Heights at 2:00 o’clock in the morning, about fourteen miles. Did he walk from Berkeley across the Bay Bridge and then halfway across town? Mr. DePape is apparently also known to the police as a gay hustler, that is, a person who sells sex for money. Unless I’m mistaken, the San Francisco Police Department (SFPD) has a detective department — experienced men and women who go around the city seeking clues, evidence, and testimony in order to make sense of perplexing crimes — and then solve them! Shall we assume they are on-the-job?

Now, Paul Pelosi, 82, who made a $300-million fortune running a car service (also shrewd investments in real estate and the stock market), has been in quite a bit of trouble this year. On May 28, 2022, he was arrested for Driving Under the Influence (DUI) in Napa (near a vineyard estate he owns with Nancy) when his 2021 Porsche crashed into a 2014 Jeep driven by one “John Doe” (as the police identified him). KGO-TV, ABC’s affiliate in the San Francisco area, said that there was a second person in the Porsche with Pelosi at the time of the accident. He has never been identified.

In August, Mr. Pelosi was sentenced to five days in jail, a fine of roughly $7,000, a three-month drinking-and-driving course, eight hours of public service, and having an “interlock” device installed on his car that would require him to blow into an alcohol sensor before the engine can ignite. By any chance, were the Napa Police or the County Court contacted in the matter at some point by the US Capitol Police or the FBI? We may never know.

If David DePape didn’t walk fourteen miles from Berkeley to Pacific Heights, or take a cab (expensive), how did he get there? Here’s a theory: he rode the BART subway from Berkeley to the Church Street and Mission station in the city, a five-minute walk to the Castro Valley, San Francisco’s fabled gay district. Sometime before 2:00 a.m. closing time, he met up in a bar there with Paul Pelosi, who drove DePape to the Pelosi house in a car not equipped with an interlock device. That is to say, David DePape was let into the house by Mr. Pelosi.

The police and the news media have theorized that DePape broke into the place by smashing a glass door in back. Uh-huh…. Ask yourself: would there not be an alarm system at least on all the ground floor windows and doors in the house? Would there not be security cameras on the back side of the house — the side that burglars might prefer, if they could get over the wall? Would the Speaker of the House, with a discretionary budget on top of a $300-million fortune, and in a time of epic political rancor, not have a team of security guards in place at her private home?

Initial news media chatter had both DePape and Paul Pelosi dressed in their underwear, struggling over a hammer which turned out to belong to Mr. Pelosi. Not until the police entered the house did DePape wrest the hammer from Mr. Pelosi and commence to brain him with it. What does the arrest report actually say about the two men’s state-of-dress? It is not public information. How and why were the police just watching until DePape assaulted Mr. Pelosi — who was hospitalized afterward and had surgery on his cracked skull? (Uh, how did a blow that literally broke his skull not kill the elderly Mr. Pelosi?)

The news media initially suggested that somebody — a third person on the scene — opened the door to let the police in. Now they are saying no such person was there. Was the front door unlocked? (Weird, considering the general threat level for a public figure of Nancy P’s stature.) Or, did police break the glass door in the rear of the house to get in? (However, photos of the door show the glass being broken from the inside and shards spread over the outside.) Odd, also, that such a wealthy and powerful couple would not have hard-to-smash security glass on such a door. (It’s easy to buy.) Odd, too, that there was not one human security guard on the premises. The house had security cameras all over the exterior and interior. No mention in the news media or from the SFPD of what might have been recorded by these cameras at the time of the incident.

My assessment of this bizarre episode is as follows: Paul Pelosi was out drinking late the night of the incident. He hooked up with David DePape, a hustler he might have been previously acquainted with, and took him back to the house in Pacific Heights. Something went wrong with the transaction. Considering that DePape exhibited psychotic behavior at times, it might have taken little to set him off. All the authorities involved are playing it coy, but failing to construct a narrative that adds up.

The Democratic Party has attempted to convert the sordid incident into a political talking point, painting DePape as a MAGA crazy. That spin apparently failed almost instantly. Their next effort will be to shove the story down the memory hole — the news media will just not report on any developments. 

Meanwhile, Nancy Pelosi put out a statement that her family is “heartbroken” over the incident. Yes, of course. I’m sure. Nobody knew about Paul Pelosi’s peccadillos. Boo-hoo. Cry me a river, you degenerate jade. Don’t suppose the truth about this will be successfully suppressed, like Hunter B’s laptop. And so, the career of Nancy Pelosi comes to an ignominious end in the November 8 election, with a cherry-on-top of personal humiliation. She deserves every bit of it.

(Support Kunstler’s writing by visiting his Patreon Page.)


  1. Lou November 4, 2022

    So many factual errors in this story, and a cynical snide undercurrent, that it is not worthy of being in the AVA. Sounds to me like a political smear attempt. Ugly thing to read.

    • Jimmy November 4, 2022

      I agree with Lou. I didn’t even bother reading all of this.

  2. Lynne November 4, 2022

    Capitol Police caught this break in on security video… this essay is without factual basis. Mean spirited and frightening thinking by a Californian as we face such a critical time in our democracy…

  3. Steve Heilig November 4, 2022

    Even free-speecher Elon Musk deleted this fictional nonsense from his new Twitter toy.
    Embarrassing to see it here.

    • Chuck Dunbar November 4, 2022

      Paul Pelosi should sue Kunstler for defamation. Why does the AVA print trash from the guttters like this, especially over several days, as the actual facts are made clearer in Court filings subject to a judge’s review? It is just the kind of nastiness that we don’t need now.

      • Marmon November 4, 2022

        I wish he would too, so we could see what comes up in discovery. The truth is out there.


  4. Stephen Rosenthal November 4, 2022

    I subscribed to The AVA, not the National Enquirer. If more of this crap keeps appearing, I won’t renew.

    • Bruce McEwen November 4, 2022

      Renew, Steven, I just got home from the courthouse in the city where and the defendant’s prelim was set this morning for December 14 at 9:00. I will be in Judge Loretta Giorgi’s courtroom when the evidence is presented and you can read the facts right here in the mighty AVA. This guy Kunstler is just a Tokyo Rose type jerk spreading alarm and despondency for people with learning disabilities like James Marmon, his only fan.

      • Marmon November 4, 2022

        I can’t wait to read your slant. Its been a long time since we last had to put up with your courtroom reporting.


      • sam kircher November 4, 2022

        ‘Bout time you and your notebook found your way back to a courtroom. I’m looking forward to what I imagine will be informative and entertaining.

        • Bruce McEwen November 4, 2022

          Thanks for the thumbs up, Sam. I was in Sacramento yesterday and San Francisco this morning and I could relate some anecdotes about the swarms of people living rough in the streets of both cities but I think I saw more spent syringes in Frisco than in Sac . Stay tuned for updates on this case as I still have a hunch a 1368 motion my be forthcoming, and please excuse me misspelling your name, Stephen Rosenthal. We

  5. Pat Kittle November 4, 2022

    Kunstler’s explanation may or may not be prove to be accurate.

    But so far it makes more sense than the limited-hangout ever-changing official versions.

    • Marmon November 4, 2022

      Why don’t they just release the videos and clean up this mess? We are being asked to believe Institutions that don’t have a very good track record when it comes to truthfulness (FBI). Furthermore, with San Francisco being “Pelosi Country” it enhances skepticism.


  6. Marshall Newman November 4, 2022

    Not worthy of dissemination by the AVA.

    • sam kircher November 4, 2022

      … on the same day Megan Cassidy’s seemingly “official(?)” account is pasted into MCT…
      It would be nice if she included her sources, especially if they’re more reliable or primary than Kunstler’s ‘news media” and intuition.

      • George Dorner November 4, 2022

        To quote Ms Cassidy:

        “The following account of what unfolded in about half an hour on Oct. 28 is based on court filings by the San Francisco District Attorney’s Office, the FBI and the U.S. Attorney’s Office; statements by Police Chief Bill Scott; interviews by Chronicle reporters; and a review of documents, videos and photographs.”

        Why not try reading an article before commenting on it?

        • George Dorner November 4, 2022

          Might I add I have never seen Kunstler give a source for his lamebrain rants?

          • Chuck Dunbar November 4, 2022

            Exactly. My own take on most of his drivel is that the source is his own lame brain– inventions, fantasies and delusions supreme.

        • sam kircher November 4, 2022

          Thanks, George.
          I guess the coffee hadn’t kicked in yet.
          Careless comment on my part.

          • George Dorner November 5, 2022

            Given my own state of pre-coffeeness, I find this perfectly understandable.

  7. Paddy November 4, 2022

    This column sounds like something Trump would attempt to write…if he were actually able to use proper grammar that surpassed the third grade level. Also, these facts seem baseless. I’ve never heard half of this information. Bottom line is that DePape broke in and hit Pelosi on the head with a hammer. The rest is just gossip. Kunstler should be a writer for reality T.V. shows…all drama and sensationalism.

  8. Doug Holland November 4, 2022

    I don’t care about petty crimes, and hammering Mr Pelosi seems pretty petty. If he was anyone else, 9-1-1 would’ve taken six hours to respond and the case wouldn’t have made the news.

    Once it’s in the news, though, keep it factual, please. This is the moistest turd ever plopped in the AVA, and y’all have published some of my drivel, so that’s saying something.

  9. Joe Hansem November 6, 2022

    How did he get from Berkeley to SF at two in the morning? What a huge mystery. Uh, he drove across the Bay Bridge? Yeah, this article is QAnon type trash. Then again, this kind of crap has been Kunstler’s stock in trade for a number of years.

  10. Joe Hansem November 6, 2022

    Yeah he was ordered to install an interlock ignition device on his car, but what indication is there that he complied with that order or that he didn’t simply use another vehicle or get Ubered over there?

    • Bruce McEwen November 6, 2022

      Kunstler is an object lesson in the argument against gay marriage: He’s just the kind of bastard you’d expect from letting the likes of Rush Limbaugh and Alex Jones interbreed.

    • Bruce McEwen November 6, 2022

      On BART it’s a little over six dollars to get from DePape’s garage in Richmond to within easy walking distance of the Pelosi mansion, bus fare included. Sensationalist claptrap, like an old shoe to gnaw on, assuages the separation anxiety Trump’s loyal spaniels suffer from however and like the pet of the week mutts at the shelter we can’t bring ourselves to euthanize the poor devils, only listen to ‘em howl, “where’s the outrage?”

  11. Marmon November 6, 2022

    I told you they were going to bury the Paul Pelosi story…nothing but crickets now.


    • Chuck Dunbar November 6, 2022

      Yep, no real story there, but an extraordinary amount of right-wing speculation and slander and fantasy, directed at the truly hated Nancy Pelosi. You all are great haters toward those, like Dr. Fauci, Obama, Biden. Pelosi, and others who do not deserve hatred. It’s a cruel, nasty characteristic that is bad for America

      • Pat Kittle November 6, 2022

        If only we could avoid hating others as well as you do!

    • Bruce McEwen November 7, 2022

      Dig here, James, to find conformation bias regarding the story that got buried — which is to say, that old shoe you like to chew on to assuage your separation anxiety from Don T.

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