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Posts published by “Doug Holland”

Outsource This

I was a temp worker, doing brainless clerical work in an office. In the back of the same building, the company had their factory, churning out medical equipment. It wasn’t a high-tech product, because nobody…

An App, To Buy a Candy Bar

The email to all employees seemed so darn happy: “Our newly-remodeled snack-room is now open! Stop by on your break!” So far so good. And then the next sentence: “A vendor rep is on-site to…

Eulogizing Elvis

It was the summer of 1977. I was fresh out of high school, living on my own, generally disinterested in the church but not yet an atheist. Once a month I attended the church I…

If You’re Going To Do Something, Do It Right

My dad's motto was, "If you're going to do something, do it right." He had a thousand inspirational clichés, but that was the one that stuck with me the most. "If you're painting the wall,"…

Breakfast at the Diner #5

A youngish white guy comes into the diner. He's clean-cut and wearing a suit and tie, and he sits a few stools away from an ancient bald man who sometimes has oxygen tubes in his…

Nuts

I've known a lot of nuts in my life. What's the polite term? "Mentally ill"? "Emotionally disturbed"? "Has issues"? Nah, nuts. That's the catch-all word for malfunctions between the ears. You're probably nuts, and I'm absolutely…

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