Kicking off the 32nd Annual Anderson Valley Variety Show was one of the better opening acts in living memory. There always has to be a dilemma that needs fixing. This year Captain Rainbow’s beloved tuxedo went missing (and how does he fit into it year, after year, after year, after year?). Anyway a search was undertaken with the intrepid and always helpful Justin Laqua rising to the occasion. Apparently the area under the stage is infested with alligators, termites and who knows what other scary adversaries.
Descending, Justin found a magical trunk (of course). Inside… what else?…the missing tuxedo! Case closed. But wait. Along the line somewhere an under stage flood complicated matters requiring the use of a gigantic pipe wrench conveniently located on the wall by the side of the stage. Every year the side of the stage is themed with this décor manufactured by Gail Meyer - this year a whole lotta useful tools. Any whoooooo, Justin saved the day (or night) in all its block-lighted glory. So, “See you later alligator.”
Tuxedo restored, Captain Rainbow joined forces with Singing songbird Sarah Ryan who served as glamorous Co-MC for the night and we were off to the races. A first timer was the first act out of the chute. Skip told us a cozy campfire tale. Cody and Michelle followed with a Tom Petty song that had us stomping and singing along. Next up, the Banana Squad took current events to a new level as they made a “banana split” out of a certain tech villain who has “gone bananas.” Three Charlie’s Angels style troupers with banana guns ablaze “creamed” tech man with their whipped cream loaded banana guns. Good riddance.
An entirely different generation of “Psychedelic Relics” Judy Basehore, Kathy Borst, Barbara Lamb and Lynda McClure reminded us, “If your health is in decline just take 10 pills and you’ll be fine.” A whole other take on the drug-culture. At this point things got serious as we listened to the names of those we had lost over the past year. Everyone knew at least one someone on the list and everyone knew that some day they would be on it (God willing and the creeks don’t rise and if the Variety Show perseveres). Rest in peace “Dusties.”
Black Sugar Rose with Charlene on banjo and her partner on guitar sang an old timey love song “If You Leave Before Me” — most appropriate after the Dusties. The Boont Tribe demonstrated in a hilarious way how words would be pronounced if phonics ruled the world. An enigmatic man named “Mitcho” with a stand up bass gave us a slightly x-rated rendition of what must have been an original called “Piggies Don’t Care - nose like a shovel, brain like Einstein, no filters! - piggies don’t care”. Lots to think about there.
They always like to have an animal act each year and this year they struck gold. Rad and Cat (Spydell) of the Pixie Dust Ranch were a tremendous audience favorite. Rad is a magnificent peacock and Cat is his devoted owner. Rad was rolled out onto the stage on an ornamental cart that served as a regal throne. Cat worships Rad and her tales of how she accommodates his special needs as they travel around the county visiting kids and grown-ups alike was riveting. Only in Anderson Valley.
Finishing the first half of Saturday night “Catfish in a Can” featured the Real Sarahs, both Ryan and Larkin, with Catfish Jack on harmonica and a smoking hot band. They all reminded us that “We can-can, yes we can-can, if want to if we want to we can-can. I know darn well we can work it out.” Amen and Awoman.
After the intermission, “The Amazing Eva”, a tiny, young aerialist, truly did amaze us. No more than 10 years old, her routine was complex and death defying. Under her coach “Mr. Bones” of Circus Mecca she worked the silks like an angel. We were transported with wonder at what the human body can be trained to do.
Following Eva “Get Out of Dodge” reminded us again of the times we live in. A devil-horned gentleman sang his own praises while two guys in masks worn sideways but facing front (interesting) backed him up. Once again “the one who shall not be named” strutted and fretted across the stage while we the reviled him. The horny guy apparently struck a responsive negative chord within us.
On to the 50/50 raffle. Big winner of the night was Nadia Berrigan who is fondly known as “Miss B’ by the legions of art students she has inspired over her many years of service as the art teacher at AVHS. When asked what she would buy with the over $500 she won she coolly replied, “Probably plywood.” Practical.
W.Dan Houck reined in the unruly raffle crowd with a great “shaggy dog” story. He led us around and around until finally confiding that the hero of his story was “cutting the same baloney that I’m feeding you.” Well really.
Next the “Graveyard Grifters” drifted in playing a guitar and musical saw. An apparition appeared looking a lot like Caspar the Friendly Ghost in a cowboy hat to occasionally rap out rhythms on a snare drum. Spooky. I know Cobb played the saw, another guy played the guitar and the under-wraps ghost was a woman.
Finally it was time for the Major Mark Scaramella’s portion of the show. Always cerebral-ish in his approach, this year he decided to test a random audience member on recall of obscure Rodney Dangerfield jokes. “Like Dangerfield, I get no respect,” he said. Intending to flummox the unsuspecting volunteer the Major unknowingly met his match in Ras Smith. Born and raised in the Valley by brainiacs Gwyn and the late Larry Smith, Ras is young but not to be trifled with.
Responding accurately to all but one of Rodney’s “groaners,” Mark challenged him to double or nothing with a couple of slight of hand manual dexterity tests. Low and behold, Ras succeded on the second one and doubled and Mark forked over the prize money and ended up with nothing! Chalk one up for the Millennials.
We really needed to calm down after this unlikely upset. Fortunately Yvonne and her “Life’s Heartbeat” settled us. Beginning in the dark (so we had no idea what we were listening to) as they lights went up we still really had no idea. Yvonne was patting with her fingers and palms on a hollow metal object popularly called a “hand pan.” It was mesmerizing and a little bit like steel drums but with a softer and rounder tone.
“Hillshake” from Redwood Valley with Andy on the Bass and Clay on the slide guitar treated us to some of their very own kind of rocking music and leading us to the final act of the night - “Mac-K and the Red Eyed Knights”. Keevan Labowitz is Mac-K a rapper with an East African influence with two high school teachers- Arthur and Nate M. backing him up. He extolled us to “Rise-Up” as he paced the stage like a caged Lion. It was a high-energy way to close out the night’s showing of Anderson Valley (and beyond) talent.
Of course the Grange must be heartily thanked for providing the Venue and so many of the volunteers who make the Variety Show possible. Also all the special event people who do the lighting, stage managing, food vending, money collecting, sound boarding, etc. All must be commended and thanked. Thanks to the Pit band Michael and Leslie Hubbert and Chris Bing for his sound effects. Thanks to Abeja in her Airline Stewardess Guise - special award for best disguised participant. We loved that 80’s floppy bow blouse! And to the rest of you - time to start planning your act for the 33rd Annual Variety Show.
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