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Senior Moments

You can call them senior moments but if they've been happening your whole life then it's time to take stock and realize you're just a damn fool.

The other day I was about to take a walk but thought I would quickly change out some leaky outside faucets first. I was wearing my nicest slacks because it was a little cool for a mid-summer day. I got out the new faucets (love those quarter-turn models), the plumber's glue, the wrench, and went to work.

They got installed and now I have splotches of that blue adhesive on my nicest pants and on both deck railings, the new and the old. I can get it off the decks if I care to but it's on those nice DKNY slacks forever.

A couple days later I was watering my small container garden and as it was already July figured I should use up the last of the fish emulsion on the three pot plants. I mixed the emulsion with water in a five gallon bucket, poured the bucket of fish shit into the hundred gallon pot, and half of it sloshed back out onto my nicest shoes. Nice, fish-smelling shoes.

A couple days after that, I backed into a small tree and smashed the tail-light on my old truck. I was backing right into the sun, but that's not a good excuse.)

(Then yesterday my screen door was stuck on the sliding glass door so when I brutally forced it open it broke the sun blinds right off the wall of the house beyond repair. The next morning I put an egg on the counter, it rolled to the edge and fell to the floor with a splat, when my back was turned to get into the fridge, and the replacement egg I cracked was rotten.)

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