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Mendocino County Today: December 5, 2012

THE MENDO SUPES issued the following statement Tuesday: “Federal authorities have subpoenaed information related to Mendocino County Code Chapter 9.31 but have not disclosed their interest in the requested information. County Counsel has been directed to retain outside counsel and to take appropriate action." Once that action is solidified, the Board will issue another statement. The Board also released the 2-page subpoena to the press.”

WELL, WELL. Sifting the lawyerly nebulousness of this Orphic pronouncement, it seems that the Supervisors are going to resist the feds, and good for them.

SHERIFF'S DEPUTY ORELL MASSEY was seriously injured early Tuesday morning (December 4th) when 21-year-old Cassandra Guerra somehow managed to careen into Massy's patrol car. According to the CHP, Massey suffered major injuries in the collision, which occurred on North State Street, Ukiah, near Moore Street. Ms. Guerra was found not to be under the influence of anything but her own negligence, and will be charged with, among other things, "driving at an unsafe speed for conditions." Massey is recovering at Adventist Hospital, Ukiah.

SOMETHING'S got to be done about the CalFire installation south of Boonville. That thing is worse than an eyesore — it's menacing. Driving past, as we all must, you get the feeling that some malignant new government weapon might suddenly reach out and snatch you from your vehicle. It's the absolutely most appalling installation in Mendocino County other than the Willits Courthouse, arguably the most shocking structure its size in all of America. Whoever designed the Boonville thing ought to be locked-up before he or she blights some other unsuspecting community.

A BOONVILLE GUY told us this Signs-of-the-Times story. He said he was filling up at Ukiah service station when a haggard woman approached him to demand money. “I don't have any money,” the Boonville guy said. “Bleep you,” the woman screamed. “I just saw you buy a bleeping scratcher, you bleeping liar!”

MENDOCINO COUNTY made a quick and easy $166,895.00 last week, as described in the following press release from the Sheriff's Office: "On 11-27-2012, at about 1930 hours, an MCSO Deputy conducted a traffic enforcement stop on a vehicle, near the Moss Cove rest stop located on Highway 101 between Willits and Laytonville, for exceeding the posted speed limit. Following the stop the Deputy contacted the occupants of the vehicle who identified themselves as Keith Stewart Jr., of Brooklyn, New York, and Alexander Odell, of Eureka, California. While speaking to Odell and Stewart the Deputy learned that the vehicle they were operating was a rental and that neither of them was listed on the rental agreement. The Deputy was also unable to locate any driver’s license information for either Odell or Stewart. During the enforcement stop the Deputy deployed his K9 partner at which time the K9 detected an odor of an illegal drug(s) coming from within the vehicle. Following a search of the vehicle the Deputy located a very large quantity of US currency in the trunk of the vehicle. Both Odell and Stewart stated they had no knowledge of the US currency that had been located in the trunk of the vehicle they were operating. The Deputy also located a large sum of US currency on the person of both Odell and Stewart. The Deputy was also able to determine that both Stewart and Odell were involved in the recent sales of marijuana. In total, the Deputy located, and seized, $166,895.00 in U.S. currency. Both Odell and Stewart were arrested for possession of money obtained as a result of, or intended to purchase, a controlled substance and transported to the Mendocino County jail where each is being held on $25,000.00 bail.”

CONTEMPLATING MY BIO/BIT

Ripped Van Winkle walking in the hills

Known for herb the local pub distills

Decided to stop in and hoist a glass

Conversation flowed, time moved fast

By the time he headed for the door

Stars were overhead he wasn't sure

Where the trail led to his scolding wife

Whom he'd see no more of in this life.

* * *

Ripped Van Winkle lay down for a rest

In his Hudson Bay down-filled vest

Pine needles soft beneath his bones

Guiness Book of Records level stoned

This happened the last night of '69

He was reported missing at the time

His wife died, his kids grew up and had

kids who'd never known their granddad

* * *

Ripped Van Winkle felt the morning sun

Got up and remembered what he'd done

Or was it just a dream about some elves

Playing at ten pins 'mongst themselves?

The old trail was nowhere to be found

He thought about the drink last night he downed

Hemp some local alchemist had boiled

a super concentrate thick as oil

* * *

The underbrush was wet, and twice he slipped

And though he didn't feel all that ripped

Van Winkle sensed that something was amiss

My beard, he thought, was it long as this?

So down he sauntered, feeling sorta stiff

A man who didn't fear the fiscal cliff

A man whose concept of today

Was four point two decades away

* * *

The woods let him out on Stillman Lane

The scent of ozone hit him then the rain

A vehicle came down the road and stopped

A man leaned out, where you heading, pop?

The truck looked science-fiction new

(A Ford Bronco from eighty-two)

Woodstock Ripped said, where you bound?

The man said I'll drop you off downtown

* * *

Ripped was too awed for more speech

And when the Chase Bank they did reach

He tumbled out with a grateful nod

To see all that had been wrought by God

War they say creates a heavy fog

And Ripped might just be a shaggy dog

But I'll make it short and to the point

No need to roll another joint.

* * *

An obvious confession I must make

Ripped Van Winkle is my self-mistake

Stuck in the '60s like they say

Seeing things from waaay far away

When upside-down attitudes prevailed

Before they had two million of us jailed

When anti-war soldiers had some clout

When money wasn't all it's all about

* * *

When being in the movement meant more

than even ending seeming endless war

even more than even civil rights

more than the sum of all our fights

Now it's a thousand separate groups

Jumping through a thousand separate hoops

Funded by enlightened billionaires

Led by careerists and squares

* * *

You don't have to be Ripped to see

No threat to Inequality

They can let us legalize pot

As long as they have and we have not

Since the sixties ended our true cause

chewed to bits by non-profit jaws

Hardly has the strength to say its name

(everybody's kids deserve the same)

—Fred Gardner


One Comment

  1. Heather December 4, 2012

    Good for the BOS! Now is the time to show our support for their David and Goliath battle.

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