Bird’s Eye View (Oct 21, 2015)

Greetings one and all. Are you are sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin. Knowing that my readership ranges from the 20-something know-it-alls and many enlightened young ravens to the 50-plus know-it-alls and a large number of wise owls, I thought everyone might enjoy the following piece. Well, particularly the latter group. Looking back on how the world has changed, let’s consider how things used to be from the perspective of a good friend of mine, one of the wisest of owls.

“First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant. Well, not all of us. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can and didn't get tested for diabetes. Then, after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-base paints. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors or cabinets, and when we rode our bikes, we had baseball caps not helmets on our heads. As infants and children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, no booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires, and sometimes no brakes. Riding in the back of a pick-up truck on a warm day was always a special treat. We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and no one actually died from this. We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter, and bacon. We drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar. And, we weren't overweight. Why?

“Because we were always outside playing. that's why! We would leave home in the morning and play all day, As long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day and we were OK. Our parents were not frequently checking in on us, playing a part in our lives that was not necessary. And they frequently told us ‘No’ and did not cater to our every whim.

“We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride them down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. We did not have iPhones, Xboxes, Playstations, etc. There were no video games, no 250 channels on cable, no video movies or DVDs, no surround-sound or CDs, no cellphones, no personal computers, no Internet and no chat rooms. We talked face-to-face with each other! Yes, face-to-face!

“We had friends and we went outside, found them, and played with them. We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth, and there were no lawsuits from those accidents. We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever. We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes. We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them. Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that! The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law! You graduated from high school and college. Not kindergarten, 6th grade, and 8th grade too!

“That earlier generation produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever. The past 60 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, we were not excessively indulged, self-absorbed, or unable to deal with being held accountable for our actions. And we learned how to deal with it all.”

Onward. Public Service Announcements. #339. The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital will be visiting the Valley on just one occasion this month, next week, Thursday, October 29 at the AV Farm Supply on Highway 128, north of Philo from 2-3.30pm. #340. Karaoke at The Buckhorn tonight, Wednesday, October 21 hosted by Sarah Songbird Larkin of The Real Sarahs from 9pm until close. #341. The AV Foodshed Farm-to-Table Dinner is this coming Saturday, October 24 at The Shed behind Paysanne. More info: 684-9662. #342. On the same evening, the Annual Oktoberfest fundraiser presented by the AV Senior Center is at 5pm (dinner served at 6pm) at its usual excellent venue. The Barn alongside the AV Farm Supply on Highway 128, just a little north of Philo. Tickets are $30 each which covers the dinner, dessert, a beverage, and your donation to the Senior Center. #343. Open Mic at Lauren's Restaurant in downtown Boonville is this Saturday, October 24. Dinner is served from 5-9pm and the open mic sign-ups been at 8.30pm. All styles and expressions welcome (except mimes). Call 895-3869 for more details. #344. The Boonville Farmers Market continues for just two more Saturdays before moving, I assume, to the General Store across the street for its winter stint. For now they remain in the parking lot at the Boonville Hotel, from 10am-12:30 pm. For more info, call Cindy at 895-2949. #345. The AV Lending Library run by The Unity Club is open at The Fairgrounds on Tuesdays 1.30-4.30pm and Saturdays 2-4pm. #346. The County Dump is open from 9am-4pm Tuesday, Wednesday, Saturday, and Sunday. Remember, no dead animals!

Here is the menu for the Community lunches and dinners over the next week in the Senior Center at the Vets Building in Boonville. The Center asks for a $6 donation from seniors for both lunches and dinners and charges $7 for Non-seniors for lunches and $8 for the dinners. Tomorrow, Thursday, October 22, the lunch, served by Marti Titus and her crew at Noon, will be “Breakfast For Lunch” and Cinnamon Roll Cake for dessert. Then, next Tuesday evening, October 27 at 6pm, the dinner will feature Buttermilk Chicken with Apple Cake for dessert. All meals include vegetables, salad bar, and fruit, plus milk, coffee, tea, and lemonade. What a deal, maybe the best $7 or $8 you’ll spend all week! Hopefully you will be able to attend; remember, ALL ages are welcome! Hope to see you there.

Moving quickly on to a few of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge: “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant (yet surprisingly reliable) Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley.

…Flu shots work! Don’t believe the fear-mongering and clichéd conspiracy theories, take the opportunity to get yours at the Senior Center next Tuesday afternoon, October 21, from 4-6pm.

…Many Three-Dot regulars were commenting that it had been quite a Homecoming 2015! This past weekend saw our local school’s Homecoming celebrations take place and in the world of high school sports it could not have gone any better. First, we had the girls soccer team earning their first victory of the season against Upper Lake; then the next day the girls volleyball team extended their unbeaten run to 15-0 on the season with a comfortable win against Point Arena; followed by the Boys Soccer team beating previously unbeaten rivals Roseland Prep 3-0 on Friday afternoon; after which the football team beat Calistoga 44-24 in a game they had to win to make postseason play. What a great series of performances. Go Panthers!

…Last week’s General Knowledge and Trivia Quiz (held at Lauren’s Restaurant every Thursday evening at 7pm) was won by The Bar Team, an eclectic group who sit at the bar and on many occasions in the past have won this keenly fought contest. However, victories have been few and far between in the last few months and rumors had suggested that their collective brain power was withering. But no, the naysayers were wrong, and on this occasion they were clearly back to their best as the team, featuring Geoff Thomas, Fred Wooley, Kim Howland, Brian Snelling, and Matt Barnes, managed to get one of the highest scores in recent memory. Yes, this is a smart and informed group. Do not let appearances deceive you.

…Several Three-Dot regulars remarked on the strong aroma of marijuana emanating from a significant number of young folks in the Valley in recent weeks, many of whom have never been seen around here before. It is a mystery.

Time to take my leave. I’ve got see a man about a sheep. So, “Take me drunk, I’m home.” Keep the Faith; be careful out there; if you break a leg don’t come running to me; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; remember to keep your windows cracked if you have pets in your vehicle; and may your god go with you. A final request, “Let us prey.” Sometimes poking, often stroking, but almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture. Contact me through the Letters Page or at turkeyvulture9@gmail.com. PS. On the sheep, Grace. Keep on humming, Hummingbird. Missing the Venerable Pheasant everyday.