This is a photo of him in 1980, when he was 16. He’d had only a few seizures at the time. I don’t know if he had started on Dilantin – the first of many pharmaceuticals that failed him. Some were effective for months, and hopes would get raised… Intractable epilepsy is a nightmare that gets worse after you wake up. Each seizure creates or expands lesions in the brain. This makes seizures more likely to recur. It took a few years for John’s doctors to conclude that he was among the one-in-four epileptics for whom pharmaceuticals offer no relief.
Although John is the reason I got so interested in the medical potential of marijuana, I never wrote about him when I covered the movement. He wouldn’t have liked it.
I decided to focus on the MMJ story in April, 1996 after getting a call from Dennis Peron, the founder of the San Francisco Cannabis Buyers Club. We’d been good friends since the ‘70s. I’d even written a narcocorrido about his career as a dealer/organizer: https://fredgardner.bandcamp.com/track/the-ballad-of-dennis-peron
Note that Dennis was running a club, not a dispensary. He knew a tremendous amount about club members’ medical conditions and how they used marijuana to alleviate symptoms, because he listened to their stories and was authentically interested. People could hang out at the club.
Next-generation retailers would call their stores “dispensaries,” and refer to their customers as “patients.”
I thought “dispensary” was a good word for pot stores. Pharmacists dispense drugs at drug stores. At Cannabis dispensaries, budtenders knew which products reportedly helped people with various medical problems.
But I didn’t like it when the dispensary owners (and activists who were their de facto publicity agents) began referring to customers as “patients.” I’m sure that many young men and women, including my son John, would not want to be defined as a “patient.” The right term would have been “medical marijuana user.” Or even better, “Science fiction fan.”
The twisting of words is revealing, and the activists who did PR for the ganjapreneurs thought they were slick. Consider the widely used term “Cannabis patient.” Doctors and nurses treat patients categorized by their ailments. The patient treated for Cancer, or Covid or Obesity is not called a “Cisplatin patient,” “Paxlovid patient” or “Wegovy patient.” The spinmeisters who came up with odd term “Cannabis Patient” obviously didn’t like the sound of “Marijuana user.” The term “Cannabis patient” is meant to inspire sympathy, not to assert a right. It’s whiney and doesn’t compute.
Fred, this is such a great piece. I’ve had the pleasure of meeting you several times over the years, and Dennis was also a dear friend of mine. His work and spirit lit a fire that still guides so many of us today. I’ve tried in my own way to keep running with that torch — fighting for compassion, dignity, and access for the people who need it most. Thank you for continuing to honor and preserve this history.
And today, on what would have been John’s 61st birthday, I want to wish him a Happy Birthday in spirit. Reading about what he went through — the struggles, the pain, and the strength it must have taken — is deeply moving. His story reminds us why this fight has always been about people first, about easing suffering and honoring lives touched by hardship. My heart is with you and your family today.
Dear Mr. Gardner,
I wanted to take a moment today, on what would have been John’s birthday, to recognize your son and extend my deepest respect for his life and your remembrance of him. Reading your words stirred something powerful in me, because as someone who has lived with epilepsy for the past nine years, I feel a deep kinship with what you and John endured.
In that time, I have lived through dozens of seizures, injuries, and surgeries. The fear of “when next” is a constant companion. Like John, I have leaned on cannabis as a source of real relief and medicine, even while facing the weight of medical neglect, horrific discrimination, and, at times, cruel public scorn. Sadly, I know what it feels like to be humiliated—even in the pages of the Anderson Valley Advertiser. I’ve had my driving privileges taken away, making every day a battle just to manage appointments and daily life.
Rather than let the cruelty break me, I chose to respond in a way that I hope honors John and others like us. I earned a paralegal degree and dedicated myself to disability rights and ADA advocacy. Today, I have filed a major lawsuit against the Mendocino County Sheriff’s Department for their unlawful actions directly tied to my documented epilepsy. This work is not only for myself, but for the long list of epileptics who have suffered discrimination, neglect, and injustice.
When Bruce Anderson once told me to “get a real job,” I realized I had already found mine: I stand now as a legal advocate, fighting discrimination suits on behalf of the unheard. In doing so, I honor John, myself, and every person who has lived under the shadow of epilepsy yet continued forward with courage.
I just wanted you to know, sir, that I feel you. From one epileptic who has been diagnosed with medical resistant Epilepsy to another’s father, I just want you to know I celebrate his life with you today . Please accept my deepest respect for John’s memory and for your continuing voice in reminding the world of his life.
With solidarity,
Joseph Hart
I helped supply Dennis’s first above-ground dispensary on Market Street. In some ways I wish the medical regime was still in place. The current law (written by Sean Parker, who worked for the CIA starting when he was only 16) has ruined a lot.
The Biden administration refused to reclassify cannabis and it remains on Schedule 1, meaning the federal filth (who, reminder, have no problem bombing and starving children to death) believe it has no medical value. This is despite the fact that the government holds Patent 6630507 – “Cannabinoids as antioxidants and neuroprotectants.” He even fired everyone in the White House who admitted to having ever used cannabis for any reason. Ironically, the current fascist scumbag in chief might be the one who actually reclassifies it.