Assignment: Ukiah – First, Trim Some Fat

Readers with exceptional memories will recall last week’s analysis of the county’s financial state, but the more sensitive might rather forget.

The county, from timber to grapes and from pears to marijuana, does not have a thriving economy. I don’t know how to fix it and neither does anyone employed by Mendocino County. But I do have a plan for saving money in the short term.

Let’s start with county employee salaries. With furloughs, worker pay could be cut 20 percent with no noticeable reduction in services, and by 50 percent in some others.

The notion public workers are underpaid is a joke, the idea government workers are “public servants” is a lie, and the theory that cutbacks in employee hours will result in reduced services is remote.

Raise your hand if you give half a twiddle that herds of “public servants” won’t be showing up for work Monday morning. Oh no, you say, lights have gone dim at County Counsel. And look! The elections office is empty, with November just a few months away. No one’s piloting a desk at Building Services, and grass at Low Gap Park might not get mowed this week.

Imagine zero staffing at Human Resources for six days in a row. Or six months. What if no one in these many cubicles showed up to shuffle papers, plan vacations, count paper clips, shop on Amazon, request office supplies, steal office supplies, plan retirement, attend meetings and collect paychecks.

It’s the same in dozens of other county offices filled with drowsy workers eager to provide top-notch service to the public. As if. What they actually do is drain resources, provide indifferent service and take long lunches between mandatory breaks.

And they proudly call themselves “Public Servants.”

An example of a genuine public servant might be big rig truckers. Without them Safeway would quickly be down to a few PopTarts and some People Magazines. Weigh that against an absentee Human Resources employee.

Those bringing meat, potatoes, Cheerios, bread and beer to grocery stores are actually serving the public, and quite well, thank you. Other neighbors working for our benefit in ways no county administrative assistant ever will are:

Ranchers, farmers and field workers, nurses, doctors, car mechanics, bank tellers, cops, grocery store workers, restaurant owners plus their cooks and waiters, everyone at Walmart, Costco, Mendocino Book Company, Home Depot, Factory Pipe, Steve’s Service Center, Fowler Motors, Triple S Camera, Rainbow Ag and all 85 Mexican restaurants.

Private sector workers pay the taxes that pay the salaries for city, county, state and federal employees, along with their sick time, vacation time and very lush lifelong pensions. Few truckers, mechanics, journalists or farmers receive anything close to such compensation.

Why is that? Why should a Mendo Mill employee or a car mechanic be obligated to support lavish lifetime salaries and huge pensions for government workers? Your kid is supposed to work two jobs so some 63-year old parasitic clown in Adult Protective Services can buy a second home in Hawaii??

I spent 24 years with the county and never heard co-workers complain much about the pay, and the thought that someone might leave the County for a few bucks more an hour is ridiculous.

Does anyone think a social service drone is going to sell her home in Redwood Valley, find a worse house at twice the price in Sonoma County, put her kids in brand new schools with mean new friends, all because she’ll get a 10% raise? Or 20%?

And if she left, so what? The world is crawling in semi-educated swarms of office-fillers; the competition is not fierce when one drone disappears and needs replaced. Far from it.

Plus, there’s no evidence other California counties are hungry to lure away Mendocino County’s highly skilled file clerks, intake workers, compliance officers or anyone from Human Services.

County supervisors should keep in mind their obligations are to the citizens and taxpayers, not the upper class of county workers. Mendocino County is hemorrhaging money; layoffs and furloughs are a step in the direction of solvency. And it’s not like the county hasn’t exercised fiscal responsibility using these exact measures in the past.

In the 1990s county departments were downsized; both the DA’s office and Public Defender laid off lawyers and clerical staff. Other officess had hours reduced by 20%.

It must have worked because it’s taken 25 years for the county to mismanage itself back into deep red territory.

This ain’t the solution but it will both make a difference in the budget and demonstrate resolve on the part of county leaders.

(TWK is a world renowned economist and financial expert, and is happy to dispense free advice here in Ukiah. Tom Hine, his creator and guide, is happy to give him something to occupy his time.)