Mendocino County Today: Wednesday 8/7/2024

Bloyd Service | Hot | Sunlight | Medicine Man | VFW Breakfast | Found Bike | Supe Recess | Hopkins Impact | Blackberries | Transient Camping | Lilac Pompom | Breed Reform | Local Events | Albion Bridge | Philo Produce | Garden Path | Planning Commission | Name Newsletter | Small Boat | Second-Chance Hiring | Wood Sculpture | Ed Notes | Phoenix Rising | Baker Reading | Foxglove | Writing Class | Yesterday's Catch | Paul's Birthday | Grammar Man | Factory Farms | Garberville Park | Rare Bird | Massey Interview | Paris Vacation | Torch Pass | Water Crisis | Larry Doby | Captain Folksy | Stupid Weirdos | War Cripples | Walz Impressions | Last Supper | Tax Dodging | SPF Olympics

---

RANDY BLOYD SERVICE & MEMORIAL

---

YESTERDAY'S HIGHS: Ukiah 104°, Yorkville 102°, Covelo 102°, Laytonville 100°, Boonville 94°, Fort Bragg 62°, Mendocino 62°, Point Arena 59°

HOT AND DRY weather is expected in the interior this week. Temperatures will peak today then slowly diminish later in the week. The coast is expected to see sunshine again today before persistent stratus and fog return late in the week. (NWS)

STEPHEN DUNLAP (Fort Bragg): Other than a few high clouds I have clear skies & 49F this Wednesday morning on the coast. Yes clear. Our forecast calls for patchy fog at night then mostly clear days, but you know how that goes, we'll see.

---

---

WHITMAN PHARMACEUTICALS

On Wednesday, July 30. 2024, at approximately 11:52am, Ukiah Police Department (UPD) officers were dispatched to a Ukiah business in the 600 block of South State Street for a theft that occurred. A store employee recognized the male subject from prior thefts at that location. The employee identified the subject to be Ryan Whitman Jr., 26, of Albion.

The employee observed Whitman enter an aisle and steal a large quantity of over-the-counter medications and place them into a bag. The employee followed Whitman out of the store as he passed all final points of sale without paying for the medications.

Store employees were able to complete an inventory of the medication that Whitman stole, and it was estimated to be 120 items valued at a total of $3,691.80. A records check of Whitman was conducted through UPD Dispatch and Whitman was determined to be on Formal County probation out of Mendocino County for prior case of grand theft.

On Sunday, August 4, 2024, at approximately 5:12pm, a UPD officer located Whitman in the 600 block of Talmage Road. The UPD officer located a bag that Whitman was in possession of that matched the bag he had during the theft. Inside the bag was a large quantity of over-the-counter medication. The medication contained markings on it that matched the store number from the theft that occurred on 07/30/2024.

Whitman was placed under arrest for grand theft and was transported to the Mendocino County Jail, where he was booked and lodged with no bail. The recovered stolen property was returned to the store. A total of 60 items were recovered with a total price of $2,193.18.

As always, our mission at UPD is to make Ukiah as safe a place as possible. If you would like to know more about crime in your neighborhood, you can sign up for telephone, cell phone, and email notifications by clicking the Nixle button on our website; www.ukiahpolice.com.

---

UKIAH VFW BREAKFAST FUNDRAISERS

VFW Breakfast Saturday, Ukiah area Veterans of Foreign Wars Post 1900 (VFW) has been sponsoring a monthly breakfast fundraiser for decades.

The next one is Saturday, August 10, 2024, from 8 – Noon at Veterans Memorial Hall, 293 Seminary Ave., Ukiah.

Redwood Empire Lions Club volunteers will be catering the breakfast. Cost: $10!

Proceeds go towards veterans’ assistance, maintaining flags at Ukiah cemetery, and many projects the VFW supports, including student scholarships.

They are on Facebook. Questions, call (707) 234-7392.

---

FACEBOOK POST from Fort Bragg/Mendocino Coast Swap meet/flea market

Allyson Hansen: Unfortunately I happen to live next to "Tweaker Corner" where tweakers like to ditch the stuff they stole. This weekend's treasure is a lovely bike. Does this belong to you? Or anyone you know? If so, speak up and I will tell you where they stashed it on South Street. The cops won't do crap, so if it's yours, this is your opportunity! Just message me. Thanks!

---

SUPES TAKE SEVEN WEEKS OFF, CALL IT AN ‘AUGUST RECESS’ AND OFFER BACK-TO-SCHOOL ADVICE

Mendocino County Board of Supervisors August Recess and Back-to-School Tips

Board of Supervisors Recess

The Mendocino County Board of Supervisors will observe its annual August Recess from August 1, 2024, to August 30, 2024. During this period, the Board will not hold Regular Board Meetings. This annual recess, implemented in 2022, allows Clerk of the Board staff to focus on essential behind-the-scenes tasks, including records filing, completion of annually required duties, and preparation for the upcoming year.

While there are no Regular Board Meetings in August, the Members of the Board of Supervisors continue to hold/attend their other regularly scheduled committee and public meetings during the August Recess.

---

Back-to-School Month

As August transitions from summer to the school year, parents and guardians should actively prepare their children for the upcoming academic year. This is a great time to:

Visit Schools: Tour schools, colleges, and universities to help children feel comfortable in their new environment.

Update Vaccines: Ensure your child’s vaccinations are up to date before school starts. Many schools require immunization records, and staying current helps protect your child’s health and the health of their peers.

Establish Routines: Adjust bedtimes, wake-up times, and mealtimes to align with the school schedule for a smoother transition.

Prepare for Changes: Discuss upcoming changes with children, especially if they’re moving to new schools or levels, to reduce anxiety and build resilience.

By taking these proactive steps, parents and guardians can help their children approach the new school year with confidence and enthusiasm. The efforts made during August to prepare and support students can contribute significantly to their academic success and personal growth throughout the year.

(County Presser)

---

Mark Scaramella Notes:

“August Recess”? Their last meeting was July 23. Their next meeting is September 10. That’s not only stretching the recess, it’s stretching the truth.

The Board clerk will “focus” on “…records filing, completion of annually required duties, and preparation for the upcoming year.”

What “upcoming year” would that be? The board meets every two weeks, does minimal minutes and still the clerk doesn’t have time to do “records filing”?

No “other” regularly scheduled committee meetings” are on the Board’s master calendar for the seven-week “August recess.” There may be some other agency meetings that the board will “attend” but that hardly qualifies as official duty.

And what’s the Board of Supervisors doing giving “back to school tips”? What’s next, shopping tips? Travel tips? Favorite Movies? Dietary advice? “Best places for the taxpayers to buy our free lunch”?

No sooner did they give themselves a fat pay raise, they take almost two months off and demonstrate again that they didn’t deserve raises with their own press release.

---

SEEKING IMPACT LETTERS AND LOSS DOCUMENTATION FROM ALL AFFECTED BY THE 2021 HOPKINS FIRE

On Thursday, August 1st, a Marin County Superior Court jury found the man arrested and accused of starting the 2021 Hopkins Fire guilty of arson.

The current state of California law allows for a state prison sentence in his case of up to 21 years.

DA Eyster and his team are now reaching out to and issuing a call to action from the many Calpella area fire victims and all others affected by the devastating Hopkins Fire.

FIRST, defendant Johnson is scheduled to be sentenced on September 16th at 9:15 o'clock in the morning in Marin County Superior Court Department J in the Marin County Civic Center in San Rafael.

Anyone with an interest in this case may "zoom" in to watch that sentencing hearing in real time without the need to travel to Marin County.

If you are interested in remote access to the hearing but don't know the steps necessary to connect, please contact the DA's Ukiah V/W advocates for access information. The contact information to speak with a V/W advocate is included above.

Any folks with the interest, inclination, and willingness to travel to San Rafael (~100 miles) on September 16th are, of course, welcome to attend the sentencing hearing in person.

SECOND, the defendant's case has been referred to the Marin County Adult Probation Department for preparation of a background study and a written sentencing recommendation. Part of the Probation Department report and recommendation includes the inclusion and consideration of impact letters/statements from victims.

Victims of the fire may timely submit written and respectful impact letters (through the Ukiah V/W office) so such letters may be considered by the Marin County Probation Department in formulating their sentencing recommendation.

Those letters will also be included with Probation's final report so the Court can also consider all such letters.

If you are a Hopkins Fire victim and you are interested in submitting a written impact statement, we will need your written letters in hand at the Ukiah V/W office no later than noon on September 2nd, if not before.

If you were lucky not to be an actual victim of the fire but still want to express your thoughts to the trial judge on an appropriate sentence, you may also timely submit a written and respectful letter to Judge Simmons, again through the DA's Ukiah V/W office.

THIRD, while cautiously reminding all those who suffered a financial loss of the old idiom that "it is impossible to get blood out of a turnip," California victims nevertheless have a right under the current state of the law to submit claims and seek the issuance of a restitution order, where appropriate. Once issued, an ordered amount of restitution carries with it the legal rate of interest (non-compounded) of 10 percent per year.

Section 28(b)(13)(A) of Article 1 of the California Constitution mandates that,“All persons who suffer losses as a result of criminal activity shall have the right to seek and secure restitution from the persons convicted of the crimes causing the losses they suffer.”

Section 28(b)(13)(B) goes on to say, "Restitution shall be ordered from the convicted wrongdoer in every case, regardless of the sentence or disposition imposed, in which a crime victim suffers a loss.”

If you are a 2021 Hopkins Fire victim who suffered financial losses that were not fully covered by insurance or fully reimbursed by other victim assistance programs, please contact the V/W Office right away.

The advocates will explain what documentation is needed and the procedure for having your restitution claim considered and a restitution order issued in your favor by the Marin County judge.

Because time flies fast and September 16th is truly right around the corner, please do not procrastinate until it is too late. Time is of the essence. Make the call to V/W this week to learn what you need to do in order get what is needed timely accomplished.

Again, in regards to restitution claims, we will need loss documentation submitted and accompanying restitution declarations signed no later than noon on September 2nd so all can be compiled and timely submitted to Marin County.

In conclusion, after you are finished reading this post, please share and re-post to your Facebook page and/or other social media. We are trying to reach as many affected individuals and families as possible.

You may also print this post in hard copy and pass copies on to your Calpella friends, neighbors, and all others who were adversely affected.

Thank you for your cooperation! Mendo DA David Eyster

---

---

CHUCK DUNBAR:

This is critical feedback to the County on this issue–don’t know who the author is–

“Subject: transient camping on all residential tracts in Mendo County:

I am writing in regard to proposed changes to the Mendocino County General Plan. I am stunned at the proposal to allow Transient Habitation—Low Intensity Camping on nearly every residentially zoned property in the county. While the proposal limits the number of campsites for RV, trailers and/or tents to 10, this plan would result in ~30 campers per day on an approved parcel. Based on a quick read of the planning material, it appears there are no limits regarding these operations being located on private roads (other than notifying others who use the road), ground water use, protections of sensitive habitat, requirements for proximity to police and fire protection, road conditions (steep, narrow), and the like. This poorly considered plan would be a disaster for our county and I strongly oppose inclusion of this code amendment to sites which support single family residential use: R1, R2, R5, R10, UR20, UR 40, Rangeland, TPZ and Forestland.

It may be true that most potential users of the Low Intensity Camping opportunity might be judicious, but it will only to take one destructive or careless camper to bring about catastrophe. Picture the camper who decides the rules against open flames can be ignored, or the one who thinks surface disposal of RV effluent is ok because they won’t be around to deal with the consequences. Has the intense draw down of ground water when 30 people take their daily showers been considered?

Thirty campers per day driving large RV’s, big trucks pulling long trailers will negatively impact nearby parcels with dust, noise and road damage. Neighboring property owners will live in fear of transient campers who could might make an irreversible error in judgement re: fire, effluent disposal or trespass. As written, there are virtually no protections or recourse for neighboring land owners, which will leave neighbors at odds with no options to oppose and no compensation if the worst happens.

Is the Sheriff’s Office, CalFire and/or rural volunteer fire departments ready for the added burden of supervision/protection this proposed “low intensity camping” will create? I understand the Sheriff’s Office is severely short-staffed with few deputies to cover outlying portions of the county. Local fire agencies (mostly volunteer operations) likely aren’t ready for this greatly increased risk of fire or possible vehicular issues. County infrastructure is not ready for this level of intense use which will bring perilous consequences to rural regions with limited resources and protections.

Who will pay for a massive wild fire started by an irresponsible camper? Fire, noise, odors, dust, road damage, trespass all these concerns will be extant when you open up all R1, R2, R5, R10, UR20, UR 40, Rangeland, TPZ and Forestland parcels to permitted Transient Habitation- Low Intensity Camping. Has anyone considered the additional burden placed on home owners if insurance companies see these nearby camping facilities in aerial reviews of policy holder’s homesite? Insurance companies can access up-to-the minute aerial views of subject properties and nearby conditions. A neighboring campground could negatively impact risk assessment resulting in policy cancellation or cost increases.

Low intensity camping should be implemented in commercial or rural village zoning. Camping facilities would work for those areas since they are near emergency infrastructure; not miles out single, lane gravel roads and in areas of extreme fire danger. The Transient Habitation—Low Intensity Camping concept, if executed as written, puts all county residents at risk of fire loss, possible damage to sensitive habitat and the permanent loss of the quiet enjoyment of their homes.”

---

---

JIM SHIELDS

While Sheriff Kendall is rightfully miffed at the refusal of SF Mayor Breed to even take a call from him over her outta-here-one-way homeless bus plan, he needn’t fret over her insulting behavior. She doesn’t even talk to her own sheriff.

Breed has been on a four-year kamikaze mission to de-fund law enforcement in San Francisco. She calls it “reform” which is nonsense unless you consider open-air drug dealing, soaring crime rates, and citizen insecurity to be reform. She’s a spineless, PC ideologue incapable of tackling complex issues, such as homelessness, and the larger struggle between providing life-saving care and services for homeless people (who oftentimes refuse help) while balancing that reality with the other reality of the need and sworn obligation for maintaining public safety.

If you haven’t had the opportunity, read my latest piece in a series on the homeless and mental health crises in this state and county (“The Real Deal On The Homeless Mess, In Case You Want To Know”).

People need to wake up and realize why all these programs and the billions upon billions of dollars spent on them, have resulted in complete failure. The answer has always been right in front of us, but most people seem content for some reason to just talk these issues to death.

Case in point, look at this county where for years the Board of Supervisors and their staff responsible for homeless and mental health services, hold public meeting meetings discussing those issues, which are always over-larded with charts, graphs, eye-blurring reams of data, and staff presentations and non-report-reports.

Over the years, what have we learned? We’ve learned the official, local government view, which is most everything is working with mostly successful outcomes. The few things that are not quite working are retarded due to lack of funding. Other than that, things are spot-on, thank you.

---

LOCAL EVENTS (this week)

---

CALTRANS' PRESS RELEASE ABOUT THE HISTORIC ALBION RIVER BRIDGE

by Annemarie Weibel

Caltrans has basically used the same words that were used in the press release that the AVA posted yesterday to describe the historic 80 year old Albion River Bridge since 2015. The press release mentioned that it "is in poor and deteriorating condition, has a low load rating, and is not appropriate for the harsh marine environment in which it is located" and that "it has multiple functional, safety, and structural deficiencies". The press release offered this link www.youtube.com/watch? v=oD4B0IOA_AY to a Caltrans video about the bridge with an invitation to learn more on their web site www.albionriverbridgeproject.com The web page has information about a meeting about this project which will take place next Tuesday, August 13 from 6-7:30pm at the Whitesboro Grange at 32510 Navarre Ridge Rd. in Albion. By clicking on News Updates on Caltrans’ web page can people find out that the written comments need to be submitted by September 9 to <albionbridge@dot.ca.gov>

The video includes wrong information. Although the steel truss was salvaged from an abandoned lumber company railroad bridge and repurposed along with the railroad rails that were split and used to reinforce the new concrete elements of the bridge, but the timber was not.

Pressure treated 1st growth Douglas Fir timber was shipped to Albion. This wood preservation process along with an excellent maintenance program are considered to be the major contributing factors in extending the life of this bridge beyond its estimated 20 years by 60 additional years - so far. According to Caltrans' bridge inspection report in 2014 the bridge was still in excellent condition.

Since then do to age, the marine environment, minimal maintenance and repair during the last few years the bridge’s health has deteriorated somewhat. Caltrans prefers a new bridge for various reasons and is not interested to maintain an old bridge. The bridge’s annual maintenance cost has averaged about $250,000 since its construction—a fraction of the cost of building a new bridge, demolishing the historic one, and transporting and disposing of tons of toxic waste. The cost of a replacement bridge according to Caltrans’ 2024 estimates is now $126 to $135 million.

The video also refers to the fact that wider lanes and shoulders can accommodate large commercial trucks. Apparently Caltrans’ current design standards require bridges to carry loads with more than two axles weighing 32,000 pounds or 16,000 pounds per wheel load. The Albion River Bridge was designed to carry lighter loads. It seems that many of the local bridges that were worked on recently, or will be soon, including all the work along Highway 1 close to Navarro Ridge Road, Gualala, Cleone, and other places are all geared to facilitate access to large commercial trucks. The more these projects follow suit the more we will pave over paradise. Joni Mitchell warned us in 1969. What is next? Big commercial trucks through the Avenue of the Giants at Richardson Grove?

Rather than giving information to the public about the local meeting and the deadline for written comments Caltrans encourages the public in their press release to take a survey about which bridge design the public prefers. In order to really study this, one needs to read the 5,000 pages (3 documents) that are listed online www.albionriverbridgeproject.com/resources/ , or look at them at the Fort Bragg, or Mendocino library.

Caltrans also sent a postcard to people who live in the surrounding area. These were designed to alert people to the release of the draft environmental documents and the ability to submit a comment. It did not include information about the upcoming meeting.

Caltrans held a virtual (online) public scoping meeting on May 5, 2022 to allow individuals/agencies to review project information and comment on the scope and content of the technical studies to be developed during the preparation of the Draft Environmental Impact Statement (DEIS), the Draft Environmental Impact Report (DEIR), and Section 4(f) Evaluation. This fulfills the requirement by the National Environmental Policy Act (NEPA), and the California Environmental Quality Act (CEQA). The online meeting was hard to deal with (not made to be user friendly). The public was able to comment in writing by May 20, 2022. At that point Caltrans still called it a Replacement/Rehabilitation Project. See https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIq8ePUs1hI

Scoping is a formal or informal process to identify key environmental concerns and issues regarding a project so that those concerns and issues can be addressed adequately In the environmental analysis. It also involves the public at an early stage of the environmental review process.

It came as a surprise to the public when Caltrans invited the public for a meeting which will happen next Tuesday, August 13 from 6-7:30pm at the Whitesboro Grange at 32510 Navarre Ridge Rd. in Albion to listen to Caltrans' proposal of a Replacement Project (to replace the historic Albion River Bridge). The 80 year historic, iconic Albion River Bridge was placed in 2017 in the California Register of Historical Resources as well as in the National Register of Historic Places. The Albion River Bridge is the last remaining timber trestle highway bridge on the California coast, and possibly in the United States.

On their web page www.albionriverbridgeproject.com/ Caltrans lists that they use the Construction Manager General Contractor (CM/GC) Design and Construction Method. This method involves Granite Construction early in the design process to incorporate the contractor’s perspective in the project planning process. This method provides more innovation, efficiency, and savings opportunities than traditional project delivery methods.

Googling Granite Construction made me realize that this company’s reckless attitude toward the environment and its history of fraud and other violations might not be the best business partner to have involved.

https://violationtracker.goodjobsfirst.org/parent/granite-construction

https://www.sandiegouniontribune.com/2005/10/02/air-violations-raise-questions-about-quarry- operator/

For more information about the Albion River Bridge see the web site of the Albion Bridge Stewards. The Stewards have been working to protect the coast from the bridges to the ridges. https://savehighway1.org/
https://vimeo.com/288827336
https://savehighway1.org/2017/11/14/preserving-the-albion-river-bridge-questions-and-answers/
https://savehighway1.org/2018/09/11/remarkably-good-condition-read-the-independent-engineers- report/
https://savehighway1.org/support-our-work/

— Annemarie Weibel, Albion Albion Bridge Steward

---

THIS WEEK AT BLUE MEADOW FARM

Abundance!

Heirloom, Early Girl, Cherry & Roma Tomatoes

Corno di Toro, Bell, Gypsy Sweet Peppers

Anaheim, Padron, Poblano Chilis

Italian & Asian Eggplant, Walla Walla Onions

Zucchini, Patty Pan Squash, Basil

Local Olive Oil, Zinnias

(strangely, only 3 sunflowers have bloomed so far)

---

---

PLANNING AND MORE PLANNING

The Staff Report(s) and Agenda for the August 15, 2024, Planning Commission meeting is now available on the department website at: https://www.mendocinocounty.gov/departments/planning-building-services/public-hearing-bodies#!

Please contact staff if there are any questions,

Thank you

---

CHANGE OUR NAME August Newsletter

https://mailchi.mp/95ac83f8bb70/july-newsletter-6413607

---

---

MENDOCINO SHERIFF:

We have several incarcerated persons in the Mendocino County Jail who hold positions in the kitchen, including cooks, line cooks, and dishwashers. Useful skills for these positions include:

Food preparation: Adhering to recipes and preparing meals in bulk.

Safety: Recognizing kitchen hazards, observing safety measures, and following safe food handling practices.

Math: Possessing fundamental math skills.

Organization: Overseeing inventory levels of ingredients.

Training: Teaching fellow incarcerated persons how to operate kitchen equipment and complete various tasks.

Hiring individuals with previous incarceration can be advantageous for both businesses and the community. These individuals possess a strong work ethic, relevant skills, and dedication.

Check out the Employer Guide to Second Chance Hiring Programs and Tax Credits to discover strategies for reducing the costs and risks associated with hiring individuals with criminal backgrounds.

If you’re looking to hire kitchen staff, reach out to Buffey Bourassa to connect with those who have gained essential job skills and who are actively seeking employment upon reentry. She can be reached at (707) 234-2136 or by email at bourassab@mendocinosheriff.org.

---

---

ED NOTES

DOES CALIFORNIA still have a recommended exit exam for high school graduates? I remember five sample questions from the California Standards Test which had especially irritated me.

“THE TEST measures students’ knowledge of skills the state Board of Education wants them to know.” The sample question for grades 9-11 and the sample for grade 11 were knowledge questions, not skill questions, and I’d say they were also unfairly obscure knowledge questions, which don’t measure anything but their creator’s sadism.

GRADES 9-11: BIOLOGY. “In some seaweeds, iodine can be found in concentrations a thousand times higher than that of seawater. This concentration is most likely maintained by the action of the: A. Golgi apparatus B. nucleus C. cell membrane D. lysomes.”

I GOT AN A in biology in college, albeit in a class for jocks in which, as I recall, we spent a lot of time coloring the different functions of a tree, from its bark inward to its whatchamacallit. If you could color inside the lines, you could count on at least a C.

GOLGI APPARATUS? Lysomes? News to me. I’ve got a handle on “nucleus” and, I think, “cell membrane,” but a typical high school kid is supposed to know that the correct answer is “cell membrane” to get a high school diploma? Please. Maybe an advanced placement student interested in biology might know the answer, but the rest of the herd?

GRADE 11: History/Social Science. “During the early 1920s, the United States attempted to reduce the threat of future wars by inviting other world powers to Washington conferences aimed at: A. stopping the naval arms race, B. strengthening the League of Nations, C. settling World War I war debts, D. liberalizing international trade.”

THIS ONE, IN ITS WAY, is even more obscure than the biology question, and even more unfair because the correct answer, “stopping the naval arms race,” is not correct, or correct only in a minor way. because it's not nearly as significant, historically considered, as Woodrow Wilson’s broaching the idea of the League of Nations at the conclusion of WWI in 1918, or the Treaty of Versailles in 1919 in which Germany got so thoroughly screwed the stage was set for World War Two.

A REASONABLE general knowledge question about the decade after WWI might be, “What was the United Nations called before there was the United Nations? Or what event in the life of the young Hitler caused him to commit the rest of his life to mass revenge?”

IF THESE questions were representative of what high school kids are supposed to know to get a diploma, the test should be tossed.

NOT ALL THAT LONG AGO, the Boonville Hotel was even more famous than it is now. The venerable 19th century structure was falling down when Vernon and Charlene Rollins bought it, circa '86, from, as I recall, Eddie Carsey, a Boonville native. The Rollinses re-dubbed the hotel as the New Boonville Hotel.

MOST LOCALS today would rather forget them and their New Boonville Hotel, but the Rollins' restaurant was made for the proliferating food media, and then for the general media from California to Paris when the Rollins absconded. They were famous.

WHEN THE ROLLINS' fled Boonville literally in the middle of the night, a posse of irate creditors on their heels, they owed Boonville guy Tom Cronquist, a Vietnam veteran, $18,000. Cronquist had been a waiter at the New Boonville. He had deferred wages because he'd been convinced by Vernon Rollins he'd be made whole as the restaurant did better and better.

THE NEW BOONVILLE did do better and better, especially in the media, where it and Boonville was a must visit stop on the gastro-trail.

THE ROLLINS owed lots of people money. Which is why they took off. Were they crooks? No, at least they weren’t when they fled. Are they crooks now? Kinda, because they soon established a thriving restaurant just across the California-Oregon border near Ashland that was on all the gourmet Must Eat At lists. They had the money to pay off their debts but left their Boonville workers unpaid.

SO, WHY DIDN'T THE ROLLINS’ pay Cronquist the money they owed him? Because they’re crooks. Kinda. The Rollins’ claimed they sent money back to Boonville to pay off their creditors. Maybe they paid off a few, but there are a bunch they didn’t pay, including Cronquist, now in failing health and a patient at the Vet's Hospital in San Francisco. The Rollins’ didn’t intend to rip anybody off, it just happened. Which was their story and they stuck to it.

THEY HAD TRIED to create a first-rate hotel-restaurant, borrowed lots of money from lots of people to do it, got so far in debt they couldn’t pay much of it back, and, besieged by creditors, Vernon and Charlene took off. If the New Boonville Hotel hadn’t become so famous nobody except their creditors would have noticed.

THE ROLLINS’ NEW BOONVILLE HOTEL was, they said, modeled after a French pension which, I understand, is a small French hotel-restaurant out in the French countryside. The idea in France is that everything in the restaurant comes from the backyard garden and the animals raised out behind the garden.

THE ROLLINS' did harvest whatever was in season out back, but mostly, given the volume of business they soon developed, they had to order off the truck or, in extreme emergencies, jog across the street to Anderson Valley Market for a brace of pork chops.

BUT the credulous write-ups about the place gushed about how all the poultry and meat came directly from the New Boonville Hotel’s animal pen. That animal pen was like a petting zoo. How anyone — even a food writer — could be so naive as to believe the Rollins’ dozen bedraggled beasts, most of them elderly, could possibly supply their kitchen… well, the writers bought it.

THE WRITERS believed. They wrote that six raggedy chickens, a thousand year old goat, three abandoned Easter bunnies, a turkey that looked like he'd escaped the Pilgrim’s first Thanksgiving, a couple of haggard pigs, and a dwarf duck comprised the larder of one of the best known restaurants in the United States. The food writers reported that, just like in France, the Rollins’ animal menagerie was the freshest of fresh food, and darned if the duck fol de rol had only minutes before been quacking at the goat not 25 yards from their plate!

THE ROLLINS’ GREAT ESCAPE was assisted by David Colfax and Sons. Mrs. Colfax undoubtedly was in on it, too, although the Colfaxes’ soon moved on into what passes for respectability in Mendocino County, America’s largest open air witness protection program, where every day at sunrise history starts all over again, when David Colfax became Fifth District supervisor.

TRUTH TO TELL, I, too, was belatedly in on the heist that was part of the Rollins-Colfax escape plan. In exchange for a lot of the quality booze the Rollins’ had stored in the wine cellar but hadn’t paid the distributors for, and for some of the most expensive pieces of art, also not paid for, the Colfaxes’ gave the Rollinses a getaway car and helped the fleeing couple with packing and other logistical tasks related to unlawful flight. I got the stuff the Colfaxes didn't want.

ABOUT A WEEK after the Rollins' midnight flight, and with Colfax denouncing me as “a liar or so drunk you can’t write straight” for reporting that the Rollinses had been spotted heading north on I-5 in the Colfax-provided vehicle, Colfax invited me into the Rollins’ deserted home on the north side of the Hotel where I helped myself to a bunch of the books Vernon Rollins had left behind. Colfax also gave me the art that he didn’t want which, except for one painting that’s so bad I can’t even give it away, I later sold for a hundred bucks in a time of great need.

CRIME OFTEN PAYS, especially when it’s committed by folks with the gift of gab, and Vernon Rollins was a master salesman. Colfax became Fifth District supervisor, and the Rollins’ reappeared as proprietors of a famous restaurant — Sammy’s Bistro, Talent, Oregon. Colfax was positively apoplectic that AVA writers Cockburn and Gardner, in their account of ‘Escape From Boonville,’ had quoted Balzac’s old saw that “behind every fortune there’s a crime,” denouncing it as “the worst kind of cliché,” as if he and the Rollinses had committed a literary crime rather than real life larceny. As the world turns, a crook is a crook, and I’m an accessory-accessory, I’d say.

---

---

DEVREAUX BAKER’S INAUGURAL READING

This June Devreaux Baker was acknowledged as the first Poet Laureate of Mendocino County. On Saturday, August 24th, 2024 people will have their first opportunity to hear her do a featured reading since receiving this honor. This event will be held at The Muse at 30 East San Francisco Avenue in Willits starting at 7:00PM. After an intermission Devreaux’s reading will be followed by an open reading. Admission to this event is free, but donations will be greatly appreciated. The event is presented by LocalLights.

Devreaux Baker has published five books of poetry and received the PEN Oakland Award for her book of poetry, Red Willow People. Her poetry has been published in numerous magazines and journals including The Crab Orchard Review, ZYZZYVA, Persimmon Tree, and Poetry in Flight/Poesia En Velo. She has received the Helene Wurlitzer Foundation Poetry Fellowship in Taos, New Mexico, the Hawthornden Castle Poetry Fellowship in Edinburgh, Scotland, and the MacDowell Poetry Fellowship in Peterborough, New Hampshire. Her poetry awards include: the 2022 Fischer International Poetry Prize, the 2019 Barbara Mandigo Kelly International Peace Poetry Prize, the 2017 Joe Gouveia Outermost International Poetry Prize, the 2016 U.S. Poets in Mexico Award, the 2012 Hawaii Council on Humanities International Poetry Prize, and the 2010 Women's Global Leadership Poetry Award. She has taught in this county with the California Poets in the Schools program and produced The Voyager's Radio Program of Original Student Writing for KZYX with a California Arts Council Grant.

One of the projects Devreaux Baker will pursue as Mendocino County’s first Poet Laureate is publishing an anthology of Mendocino County Women Poets, Spirit of Place, Volume II to follow the Mendocino Women Poets Anthology: Wood, Water, Air and Fire which was published in 1999 and which she also helped edit.

For more information about the August 24th reading phone: (707) 459-7054

For interviews, to schedule readings, to keep abreast of Devreaux Baker’s public projects, or more information on the Mendocino County Poet Laureate Program go to: http://mendocinopoetlaureate.mymcn.org. Or if you do not have access to the internet you can send snail mail to: Mendocino County Poet Laureate Program, P.O. Box 67, Willits, CA, 95490.

---

---

AN ASSOCIATE PROFESSOR OF ENGLISH AT MENDOCINO COLLEGE ASKED US to ask you to take their creative writing course in Point Arena this fall

Workshops will be intense at the Mendocino College creative writing course in Point Arena

Dear Readers,

We recently received a copy of a press release from Vincent Poturica, an associate professor of English at Mendocino College, and a friendly request to help promote a creative writing course being held at the Point Arena community library this fall.

We have no idea why he reached out to us, since our readers rarely (if ever) follow our direction. If they did, we’d have simple, modern-looking clocks at The Sea Ranch pools and short-term “renters” would be permanently banned from all recreational facilities here (the vacationers are so gauche, especially in the summertime).

The Mendocino College course is titled “English 503: Creative Writing for Older Adults.” But don’t worry if you don’t identify as “older.” They set a low bar for being “older” as the course is open to anyone over 12. We’re not going to nitpick course titles, though. We’re just glad that someone’s finally training the next generation of writers for The Sea Ranch Reader because we frequently get tired of creating content ourselves.

The course costs $12. That reasonable fee also covers the many sweet perks of being a fully matriculated student at Mendocino College. The most exciting one is free fare on the Mendocino Transit system, which will come in handy the next time you do the tasting menu with wine pairing at Harbor House Inn in Elk and can’t find a taxi to take you back to The Sea Ranch.

According to the press release, the course encourages students to “explore new literary forms”, which probably means they’ll write thinly-veiled autobiographical fiction and earnest poetry. One student won’t exactly plagiarize large sections of Iris Murdoch’s novel, The Sea, the Sea. But close attention will reveal striking similarities between their work and the original material. Another student will inevitably write an adaptation of the middle section of Homer’s Odyssey, based on that one time they ate too many mushrooms with Chuck and Nicole by Sea Lion Rocks and it took 3 hours to walk back to Chuck’s mom’s house on Mill Street.

The Dey House Point Arena Writer’s Workshop (not to be confused with the Mendocino College’s Creative Writing for Older Adults course at the public Library) Professor Poturica promotes the course as “inclusive and accessible”. We’re slightly ashamed to admit that’s a turn-off for us. We fall squarely into an elitist camp that likes to be challenged every step of the way. But to each their own, we guess.

The press release tells you go straight to Mendocino.edu to find the course and register. But we say, good luck. The website is a labyrinth of details and instructions, you’ll never need. The lone enjoyable part of the website is the sheer volume of Mendocino College’s academic departments, which far exceeds the number of academic departments at the editor’s colleges back in the olden tymes (i.e., the 90s and early aughts) when inclusivity was an afterthought and accessibility was a sign of institutional weakness. Our favorites at Mendocino College are a few departments we wished we had back in the day, including Fine Woodworking, but also some we would never wish upon any student, such as Business Office Technology.

Other noteworthy departments at Mendocino College include Alcohol and Drug Studies and Fire Science. We hope young minds are taking advantage of these two, which might be the perfect double major.

The creative writing class is at the Point Arena public library on Fridays from 10 AM to 12:30 PM from August 19th through December 13th. Don’t just show up like an arriviste barbarian vacation rental-type at The Sea Ranch. Pay your $12 and register at Mendocino.edu, if you can figure it out.

Happy creative writing,

The Sea Ranch Reader Editors

---

CATCH OF THE DAY, Tuesday, August 6, 2024

JESSICA BAUER, Ukiah. Controlled substance, toluene or similar.

VANESSA ELIZABETH, Ukiah. Disorderly conduct-alcohol, probation violation. (Frequent flyer.)

CAMERON GENTZEL, Willits. Domestic battery, battery with serious injury.

JAIME GONZALEZ, Ukiah. DUI, probation revocation.

SKYLAR HENDERSON, Willits. Probation revocation.

JODI HODGES, Ukiah. Parole violation, bringing alcohol or drugs into jail.

WILLIAM HUMPHRIES, Willits. Failure to appear, probation revocation.

SHAWN MELTON, Redwood City/Ukiah. DUI.

GEORGE MENDOZA, Ukiah. Under influence, paraphernalia.

COLE PARKIN, Ukiah. County parole violation.

MICHAEL OLVERA-CAMPOS, Ukiah. Parole violation. (Frequent flyer.)

RUSTY RAMSING, Willits. Petty theft, controlled substance, paraphernalia, trespassing, disobeying court order.

JASON RAY III, Redwood Valley. DUI, county parole violation.

JASON SANDERS, Willits. Failure to appear.

---

BIRTHDAY PARTY?

by Paul Modic

My birthday is coming up and I wouldn’t give it too much thought except that it’s one of those milestone years, my momentous 70th, granted I’m only about fifty-five in “Peter Pan Syndrome” years, right? (Or maybe thirty-one, perhaps twenty-two, possibly eight? That’s mentally of course, physically it’s all downhill from here.)

So I really have to have one this year, right? It’s my only chance for a seventieth party, would I regret it either way? Then I realized I haven’t put on a party by myself (for about ten people) in the last twenty years, maybe longer.

To create a party can be a lot of work, there’s food and drink and cake to think about, as well as cleaning before and after. My last couple big years, sixty and sixty-five, were put on by a friend who did everything gratis. (Maybe if I don’t have even one good friend anymore who gives enough of a shit to produce one for me, then the message might be just don’t have one?)

Who would I invite?

Steve Dazey gave me a hug at the community park last year and said he loved me, that has to count for something, right? I could invite Ray Oakes as we’re colleagues now writing at the Independent, and also I’ve been giving him shit for the last five years for not inviting me to his big 80th.

I see my list is skewing toward old men, what kind of party is that? (Most of the parties turned out great during the trimmer years when there were always vibrant young women charging the scene with electricity and excitement, but they’re all gone and never coming back.)

I could invite Robert, but it would probably be beneath his dignity to go to a “Sausage Fest.” (Then I ran into Ben at the park, thought I might invite him, but then saw he was wearing his tee-shirt that said, “Life Is Too Short To Go To A Sausage Party.”)

Maybe the potential invitees don’t have to be active friends, maybe just simpatico people who I only see occasionally, like Mushroom Mike at the Farmer’s Market? (I could also send a few “bullshit invitations” to people far away who I know won’t come.)

I could invite Kym Kemp, however, she’s got me on moderation and rewards her good friends with columns on her website, even though my material is more interesting and entertaining. If I ever get a regular spot on her site I’d jazz it up for her free of charge, but I’d have to become her good friend first and that’s a long way off.

Face it, I have few friends, no one who will put on a party for me, I’m too lazy to do it myself, I’ll just have to clean up the mess after, and so why bother?

The whole thing seems like a damn hassle, but I don’t want to be one of those greying oldsters who are afraid to celebrate their old age, not counting the Peter Pan twenty year discount of course, you know what I mean? If it feels stressful, to create this sausage party of my lurid dreams, then why do it? (The only thing I know for sure: whether I have a party or not, on the day after, all of this pre-agonizing will mean nothing.)

I do want to have a book opening, celebrating my collected works published in the AVA, which went out of business May 1st, so it could be a combo event and we would also have an open mic where everyone gets to read a few lines of my greatest hits, right?

I dunno, coffee is running out, time to feed the birds.

---

---

BANNING CONCENTRATED FEEDLOTS IS ON THE BALLOT IN SONOMA

https://www.hcn.org/articles/banning-industrial-feedlots-is-on-the-ballot-in-sonoma/

(via Bruce McEwen)

PS. Back when I was riding the bus to work in Ukiah from Boonville I saw a big buck roadkill in the a.m. and on the way back in the p.m. the head with a beautiful rack had been cut cleanly off with a chainsaw — like those rustlers in Rancho Deluxe — but it was illegal then and Dead Dog was negligent if not derelict in getting the deer collected and put in the animal pit where all such beautiful and valuable vics of car culture went until our valiantly progressive governor up-dated the code to a more civilized arrangement and I think it’s time someone younger and more progressive took over the county government hunter’s duties.

PPS. When Mendo’s “Gerry Spence” — Richard Petersen. et al — got nabbed with the elk in the Legend we all know — the Wyoming game wardens had already instituted the policy of feeding the less fortunate with all confiscated game meat, and many trophy hunters donated theirs too.

---

FIRE AT THE PARK

(Fire put out by firefighters at the Garberville Park Monday)

Local Treasure

This is the ballad of the Community Park

the gem of the area which glows in the dark

I can't say enough about this beautiful place

sweating up this mountain or walking apace

Once was a cattle ranch and then got divided

young growers moved in and were very delighted

Steve Dazey and Bob McKee came up with the plan

they created a river park and then the fun began

Of course to the complainers it's never enough

for the cantankerous ones life can be rough

Everyone's welcome to come recreate

so many healthy opportunities await

Frisbee golf, ride horses, walk, run, and bike

fly your drone or kite or play whatever you like

Do a stoked sesh on the new skateboard ramp

or head over to the stage and practice your rant

Everyone's friendly out on the trails

as masks disappear, smiles prevail

And so once again we say thanks Bob and Steve

you had a vision in which we all can believe

(— Paul Modic)

---

MYSTERIOUS BIRD NEVER SEEN IN CALIFORNIA draws crowds to San Francisco park

https://www.sfgate.com/local/article/rare-bird-sighting-san-francisco-california-19621732.php

---

VIDEO ON DUTCH BOX ART, THE HAGUE

https://www.dutchartbox.com/art-talks

Video of an interview with M Kathryn Massey and Dutch Art Box originating from the Hague.

(Mary Massey)

---

“THE VACATION GONE WRONG in Paris is almost always because people try to do too many things. Most of us are lucky to see Paris once in a lifetime. Please, make the most of it by doing as little as possible. Walk a little. Get lost a bit. Eat. Catch a breakfast buzz. Have a nap. Try and have sex if you can, just not with a mime. Eat again. Lounge around drinking coffee. Maybe read a book. Drink some wine. Eat. Repeat. See? It's easy.”

– Anthony Bourdain

---

---

WILL WE HAVE TO PUMP THE GREAT LAKES TO CALIFORNIA TO FEED THE NATION?

by Jay Famiglietti

Driving north through California’s Tejon Pass on Interstate 5, you spill down out of the mountains onto a breathtaking expanse of farm fields like few others in the world. Rows of almond, pistachio and citrus trees stretch as far as the eye can see, dotted by fields of grapes. Truckloads of produce zoom by, heading for markets around the country.

The Central Valley of California supplies a quarter of the food on the nation’s dinner tables. But beneath this image of plenty and abundance, a crisis is brewing — an invisible one, under our feet — and it is not limited to California.

Coast to coast, our food producing regions, especially those stretching from the southern Great Plains across the sunny, dry Southwest, rely heavily and sometimes exclusively on groundwater for irrigation. And it’s disappearing — fast.

What happens to the nation’s food production if the groundwater runs out altogether? Unless we act now, we could soon reach a point where water must be piped from the wetter parts of the country, such as the Great Lakes, to drier, sunnier regions where the bulk of the nation’s food is produced. No one wants unsightly pipelines snaking across the country, draining Lake Michigan to feed the citrus groves of the Central Valley. But that future is drawing closer by the day, and at some point, we may look back on this moment and wish we’d acted differently.

For over a century, America’s farmers have overpumped groundwater, and now, as the world warms and the Southwest becomes drier, the situation is only growing more dire. Rivers are slowing to a trickle, water tables are falling, land is sinking, and wells are drying up. Each year, roughly 25,000 more farmers fallow their fields, putting both food and water security in the United States at risk.

States are aware there is a problem — many are trying to sustainably manage their groundwater. But it’s not clear how successful these efforts have been. My research team has found that groundwater depletion is accelerating in the Central Valley, in spite of California’s Sustainable Groundwater Management Act. In Arizona, groundwater is only managed in less than 20 percent of the state, leaving a free-for-all in the state’s unmanaged areas.

The United States has no plan for the disruptions that will befall our food systems as critical water supplies dwindle, causing the price of some foods to skyrocket and bringing us closer to the time when we may have to consider pipelines to replenish or replace depleted groundwater.

Some of the world’s largest countries are already forging ahead with these kinds of projects. China’s South-to-North Water Transfer Project and India’s National River Linking Project redirect volumes of water the size of Lake Mead to dry regions from wet ones each year. The United States could do the same.

But it’s not something we should be rushing toward. Americans, particularly those living in places like the Great Lakes region, have already shown that they have little stomach for infrastructure projects that would move their local water to remote locations, even if it is to produce the food they eat every day.

It’s not just the political climate that makes tapping water resources in the East such an undesirable prospect. We’ve built systems of canals to move water around California and the Colorado River basin, but constructing a transcontinental pipeline or river diversion, at the scale required to sustain U.S. agriculture, would be staggeringly more complex, expensive and environmentally disruptive.

They would require significant landscape changes and human displacement. And because water is so heavy, it is extremely expensive to transport. Building the necessary conveyances would require decades of planning, have major environmental consequences and cost taxpayers astronomical sums — easily tens to hundreds of billions of dollars, and far more when you take the human and environmental costs into account.

The United States can still avoid this outcome. If we want to sustain groundwater supplies for future generations, we will need reliable estimates of what’s available in key aquifers, how its quality changes with depth and how much can be safely pumped without risk of running dry. That means we must prioritize the systematic exploration and evaluation of what’s in the ground and make a plan to end or dramatically reduce groundwater depletion.

But we won’t be able to do that without a national water policy. The current patchwork of groundwater policies across the country isn’t enough. This is a national problem that only national coordination can solve.

Last December, President Biden’s Council of Advisors on Science and Technology called for testimony on the future of groundwater resources in this country, including the implications for its disappearance and possible strategies for mitigating depletion. (I was among the experts who testified before the panel.) More recently, the council requested public input on America’s groundwater challenges. This recent groundswell of awareness affords a rare opportunity to transform the way that groundwater is measured, monitored and managed.

The United States has kicked the can down the road for decades, but that road has finally reached a dead end. It is time for this nation to act to sustain both its food and water security for centuries to come.

Otherwise, we will be faced with the unpleasant prospect of the Great Lakes partially drained of their freshwater, which will be piped across country in a wasteful, expensive and unpopular project that could have been prevented, had we only acted quickly when we still could.

(Jay Famiglietti is a Global Futures Professor at Arizona State University and the director of science for the Arizona Water Innovation Initiative.)

---

LARRY DOBY

“One by one manager Boudreau introduced me to each player. All the guys put their hands out, all but 3. As soon as he could Bill Veeck got rid of those 3”

Larry Doby on integrating the American League in 1947.

Don’t hear much about Larry Doby.

Jackie Robinson got all the attention in the other league.

He had to face the same adversities.

---

WHITE GUYS ARE BACK! Recapping the Tim Walz Rollout

by Matt Taibbi

After learning last night on MSNBC that a roaring wind was filling our collective sails with enthusiasm for [name running mate here], providence today delivered the promised tornado when Minnesota Governor Tim Walz was named the other half of the Kamala Harris ticket. CNN Legal analyst Jeffery Evan Gold will have to consult a doctor for a Walz-on far exceeding four hours, making Peter Travers blush with reviews like “Coach Walz sells well from left to right,” “Nobody will believe this guy is anything but their neighbor,” and “America will love Coach Walz!” He’s authentic, jocular, everybody’s favorite uncle, and an affable, engaging, rural ex-teacher with “dad energy” who can land a punch, too. He even started the “weird” thing. Give him four mesh trucker hats way up!

---

ATTACK, GOVERNOR WALZ! ATTACK ATTACK ATTACK!

by Drew Magary

Kamala Harris tapped Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz as her running mate this morning. Walz’s ascent began mere weeks ago when he went on MSNBC and declared the Republican Party to be “weird,” a line of attack so factual and so damning that Donald Trump’s GOP has yet to counter it effectively.

These guys ARE weird, sir. Super weird. I didn’t even know it was possible to be this weird:

But they’re more than that. I’ve been thinking about what Walz said ever since his viral TV hit, and I realized that there’s so much more meat on that folksy bone he just unearthed. Republicans are also NASTY. Unpleasant to be around. Not terribly friendly. Always looking for reasons to be unhappy. Oh, and violent. They were violent on Jan. 6. They’re violent around schools. They’re violent to protesters, to health care providers, and to dogs for some reason. When Tim Walz got mad at his dog, it was for extremely dog reasons. You do not shoot your dog for doing dog things. Most people don’t. Republicans apparently do. Many of them are even violent around the house, perhaps because they think the Bible told them to be.

Not only do they know nothing about people’s families, they don’t want to know. To know people is to have to care about them, and that’s too much effort. Because these guys are lazy. They don’t draft any useful laws, and the only time they get up from the couch is to block the good ones. They don’t staff the government properly when they’re in charge. They can’t even figure out how to pick a speaker of the House and stick with them. They hate books for some reason, even going so far as to ban them. They don’t know (or want) what’s best for everyone, only what’s best for their friends and benefactors. Their cars take up way too much space in the supermarket lot. They blame everything on the woke police, even though such police do not exist.

And if you have kids, as Tim Walz does, you probably care a lot about education then. Well, these guys don’t like education. In fact, their Project 2025 would like to eliminate the government department that helps fund it. Republicans say they don’t want to do Project 2025 if Trump gets elected, but they’re only saying that right now because they know that Americans won’t like anything in that document. They won’t like the mass deportation of millions of immigrants, some of whom are likely their friends. They won’t like consumer protections gutted. They really won’t like porn being banned, because some of that porn is super awesome.

And they won’t like the weather outside getting worse than it already is. Normal people don’t like hurricanes, tornadoes, wildfires, coastal flooding and heat waves that kill thousands of people at a time. But these people appear to LIKE all of those things, because??? I wish I could explain it, but I can’t. It’s probably money, but money burns too.

Also hard to explain: why these guys have little interest in accepting people for who they are. “What did you say your name was again? Your name is Mahanja? Let’s all call you ‘Matt’ instead, because we speak English here. And you said you identify as a woman? No, you’re not a woman unless we say so. You’re gonna be someone else here, and you’re gonna like it.”

In fact, the GOP’s whole approach to sex is inexplicable. They don’t want people having gay sex or premarital sex or casual sex. And yet they want those same people to pump out babies by the truckload, unless they need in vitro fertilization. They treat childless couples as some sort of problem that needs to be addressed (perhaps with guns?). And they really care about how hot women look. You got high heels on and an AR-15 strapped to your back? Oooh talk to me, baby. But let’s get married first, and don’t even think about taking a job outside of “housewife.” That wouldn’t be proper. Now let’s go to a “Beetlejuice” musical and get a little handsy with one another.

These are not fun people. It would be really awkward to date one. Ever heard them tell a joke? You’re lucky if you haven’t. They also get hung up on places they don’t like. Like California. SFGate readers live in California and like the state quite a bit. These guys HATE California, or at least the idea of it. I guess it’s too sunny? I dunno. They hate Chicago, which apparently has more crime than “The Walking Dead.” They hate Washington, even though we need people in Washington to mind our economy, our military, our infrastructure and countless other things that they take for granted.

They even hate the little things! They hate electric stoves and e-cars. They hate free meals for schoolkids, the kind Tim Walz guaranteed to Minnesota families. They hate preventing a pandemic that will kill millions. They hate teaching history accurately. They hate the idea of every American over 18 being able to vote easily. They even hate Bud Light. Remember that whole deal? It’s just a beer. Who cares? Why are we wasting time on this?

That’s really the question at the center of this election. Think about how much time, and money, the GOP has wasted over the past decade and beyond. What has it gotten us? Do normal Americans feel better about living here after all of this nonsense? Do they feel patriotic? Aren’t we all already enervated by the conservatives who will read this post and say, “You just described the Dumbocrats!” as if they have a leg to stand on right now? These people have made Donald Trump their standard-bearer for three straight elections now. That’s more than just weird. It’s stupid. These people have absolutely no clue about anything, and that’s why voters are about to desert them. With the help of Gov. Walz and Vice President Harris, maybe we can leave them behind for good this time.

(SFgate)

---

OTTO DIX

The crippled of war, 1920

---

WHAT TIM WALZ BRINGS TO THE TICKET

by NY Times Staff Writers

On Tuesday, Kamala Harris announced that Tim Walz, the governor of Minnesota, was her running mate. We asked eight of our columnists and contributors to assess the pick by rating Mr. Walz on two metrics: how much he’ll help Ms. Harris against Donald Trump and how much enthusiasm he’ll generate.

What excites you about the pick?

Josh Barro, author of the newsletter Very Serious. Tim Walz is good on television, and his roots as a high school teacher and football coach from the rural Midwest will offer a good contrast to the Republican ticket. And he does no harm — what voter is open to Kamala Harris but finds Walz too off-putting to elect?

Charles M. Blow, Times columnist. Walz made “weird” happen. His affable and relatable style on the campaign trail helped him distill the current conservative movement into a single word, “weird,” that has been a surprisingly effective attack line. He brings a plain-talking, labor-friendly, Midwestern appeal to the ticket. He is Joe Biden, 20 years ago.

Jane Coaston, contributing Opinion writer. We have never had a defensive coordinator in the White House or on the campaign trail. Excited to hear how the 4-4 will work nationally.

Gail Collins, Times columnist Teacher and football coach!

Michelle Cottle, political writer for Opinion. The guy looks natural rocking a camo baseball cap and grubby T-shirt — a big plus for a party that has trouble relating to regular folks. Plus, he clearly knows how to have fun in the attack-dog role without being the least bit nasty.

Liam Donovan, Republican strategist. An affable character with an avuncular charm befitting a career teacher and coach. Walz’s background as a senior enlisted National Guardsman and his unique path to the governor’s mansion stand out in a sea of elites and strivers. Odd-couple pairing adds cultural and optical balance to the ticket.

Ross Douthat, Times columnist. I’m looking forward to the vice-presidential debate, which will now feature two supporters of child tax credits who otherwise represent quite different Middle American folkways — Scots-Irish versus Minnesotan — and even more divergent pathways from those roots to national political ambitions.

Michelle Goldberg, Times columnist. Walz is incredibly charming, has a perfect Midwestern biography, is great on the attack and unifies the Democratic Party. He was reportedly Nancy Pelosi’s favorite, and she’s the best tactician in Democratic politics.

What makes you nervous?

Barro. Tim Kaine (Hillary Clinton’s vice-presidential pick) was a do-no-harm pick, too. By picking Walz, Harris passed up an opportunity to lock down Pennsylvania and better reassure moderate swing voters. And if — as I suspect — Harris picked Walz because she feared Josh Shapiro would overshadow her, that speaks poorly of her confidence and of how she is likely to govern.

Blow. He has the same weakness as all V.P. candidates: His celebrity is primarily regional. Most people in the country don’t know him.

Coaston. Is the internet’s excitement for Walz real? Is the internet, for once, correct?

Collins. Speculating about the vice-presidential nomination is so relaxing; now we have to get back to the deeply depressing possibility that we could wind up with JD Vance.

Cottle. His progressive politics could feed into the Republican attacks on Harris as a San Francisco lefty loony. He comes across as a little too long in the tooth to support the whole fresh-blood vibe.

Donovan. A safe, sturdy pick that the coalition will rally around, but the hesitation to go for the electoral jugular in Shapiro — and the apparent susceptibility to intraparty pressure during the honeymoon phase — should give Democrats pause. It’s all fun and games until you wake up 10,000 votes shy in Pennsylvania.

Douthat. In the first big decision of her candidacy, Harris threw over the popular, moderate-coded governor of a must-win swing state (Shapiro) for the more liberal governor who arguably mishandled the demonstrations of 2020 but did well in his cable news hits and found a fan base on progressive Twitter. Progressives will find that energizing. I’m not sure anybody else should find it reassuring.

Goldberg. I worry a little that Democrats are overestimating Walz’s identity-based appeal to white swing voters, and there might be a backlash from some pro-Israel voters who expected Harris to choose Shapiro.

What goes on the Harris-Walz bumper sticker?

Barro. “Normal.”

Blow. “Don’t be weird.”

Coaston. “For everybody.”

Collins. OK, this isn’t politically practical, but my dream bumper sticker is “Take that, Pennsylvania.”

Cottle. “The future doesn’t have to be dark and weird.”

Donovan. “Let the good vibes roll.”

Douthat. “Let’s not talk about 2020.”

Goldberg. “Turn the page.”

---

---

THE SECRET TO TAX DODGING IN AMERICA: BE RICH

by Bob Lord

By all appearances, Donald Trump has cut a sweet deal with a dozen or two of America’s richest billionaires: Finance his campaign and he’ll keep their federal taxes super low — or even lower them — once he’s sitting back in the White House.

How much do billionaires like this deal? This much: In April, hedge fund billionaire John Paulsen held a Palm Beach fundraiser for Trump that brought in $50.5 million. Immediately after Trump’s late May conviction on 34 felony counts in Manhattan, Timothy Mellon, the grandson of the classic plutocrat Andrew Mellon, ponied up $50 million. Miriam Adelson, the billionaire widow of Las Vegas kingpin Sheldon Adelson, appears eager to kick in as much as $100 million.

This past spring, meanwhile, billionaires Elon Musk and David Sacks reportedly held a secret dinner party for Trump, with attendees including the illustrious deep pockets Peter Thiel, Rupert Murdoch, and Michael Milken.

America’s billionaires clearly see politics as one route to ensuring they pay as little as possible at tax time. But they don’t just make their presence felt at election time. America’s rich have their thumbs firmly on the scale of all three branches of government. In legislatures, the courts, and our executive offices, we have a system rigged in favor of the ultra-rich, rigged by everything from acts of Congress and judicial rulings to IRS budgets and audit policies.

Some of this rigging we can all easily see. The dividends and long-term capital gains of the ultra-rich have for decades faced a maximum tax rate barely half the maximum rate applicable to other forms of income. And the investment income of the rich, unlike the paychecks of working people, faces no Social Security tax.

In 2017, the first year of the Trump presidency, intense lobbying efforts helped rich business owners to a special tax rate for their business income. In 2018 alone, according to ProPublica, that special rate translated into a $67 million gift to Mike Bloomberg, whose personal wealth now reportedly exceeds $100 billion.

But these glaring privileges the rich enjoy at tax time only tell part of the billionaire tax story. Other parts get precious little attention. In 2004, for instance, lawmakers in Congress enacted a penalty for the failure to disclose potentially abusive tax avoidance transactions on tax returns. The penalty on the surface looked substantial: 75 percent of the tax sought to be avoided. But Congress capped the penalty at $100,000, a move that turned the penalty into a minor nuisance for billionaires seeking to avoid millions of dollars in taxes.

In our current rich people-friendly tax climate, IRS staff who want to do the right thing face tough going. Recently, for example, one former IRS staffer, Michael Welu, went public with his concerns that the IRS itself has both official and unofficial policies that end up treating audited rich taxpayers much more gently than small business owners.

“I was putting butchers, bakers, and candlestick makers in jail,” Welu told the International Consortium of Investigative Journalists, “but the big stuff we really wanted to go after was being ignored.”

Welu found the upper management of the IRS division tasked with auditing the super rich — and the corporations they run — distinctly uninterested in investigating America’s richest and their “most egregious, ridiculous schemes” for avoiding taxes.

IRS officials like Michael Welu do occasionally speak out. But only tax wonks truly have any real sense of how much obscure tax code penalties and IRS audit policies favor the rich. And most of those tax wonks work for the rich.

The rich themselves have actually become more brazen about avoiding taxes. Just try to stop us, they seem to be saying.

Take the recently decided Supreme Court case, Moore v. United States. Working through an array of right-wing organizations, the conservative mover-and-shaker Leonard Leo attempted to use a challenge to an obscure one-time tax as a vehicle to preempt Congress from ever taxing the wealth or unrealized gains of the ultra-rich. Ultimately, the Court decided the case without ruling on whether the rich can be taxed on their wealth or unrealized gains. But the opinions that four of the nine justices handed down made it clear that they stand prepared to do the billionaire bidding should a direct challenge to a tax on the wealth or unrealized gains of billionaires come before them.

Billionaires now have at least three Supreme Court justices firmly in their pockets. Reporting by ProPublica has revealed the massive gifts that have been flowing from Harlan Crow and other billionaires to Justice Clarence Thomas as well as the generous gifts that billionaire Paul Singer has been sending Justice Samuel Alito’s way. Justice Neil Gorsuch has had his entire career, including his appointment to the Court, funded by the billionaire Philip Anschutz.

Those three justices, along with Justice Amy Coney-Barret, have now made it patently obvious they will not allow billionaires to be taxed on their unrealized gains or their wealth. Does anyone really think the billionaires won’t have the crucial, majority-making fifth vote from Justice Brett Kavanaugh when they need it?

Republican members of Congress are showing even less shame than our Supreme Court justices. Last year, these GOP lawmakers held the country hostage in negotiations to increase the country’s debt limit. Their price for agreeing to raise the debt limit, thereby avoiding a default on the country’s debt? They demanded — and won — a reduction in a scheduled IRS budget increase that would been used to increase enforcement moves against rich taxpayers.

The purported motive for this legislative hostage taking — “concern” over the federal deficit — made for an absurd justification. The proposed increase in the IRS budget would have been recovered, several times over, through increased tax collections. The IRS budget reductions the Republican lawmakers extracted will, in fact, only increasethe federal deficit. But those reductions will serve a political purpose. They’ll protect the GOP’s richest patrons from tax enforcement.

The mainstream media, to no one’s surprise, did a miserable job of exposing this Republican dishonesty in the debt limit negotiations. But at one point in our recent past a courageous soul did emerge to expose the rot in our tax system. What happened? The ultra-rich and their henchmen in Congress make sure that this soul faced a punishment far more severe than any punishment ever meted out to those few rich Americans who actually get caught evading their taxes due.

That courageous soul, Charles Littlejohn, worked as an IRS contractor. He leaked tax return information related to Trump and America’s billionaires to the New York Times and ProPublica. ProPublica used that leaked information to write over 50 stories about billionaire tax avoidance, embarrassing and angering many of our richest in the process. Two of them even brought lawsuits, one against the IRS and the other against Littlejohn’s employer.

Ultimately, Littlejohn pled guilty to one count of unauthorized tax return information disclosure, a crime that carries a recommended sentence of four to ten months. But 25 Republican members of Congress, undoubtedly at the behest of their billionaire patrons, wrote the judge in the case and urged the harshest possible sentence of five years. The judge obliged, stating in her sentencing remarks that Littlejohn posed a graver threat to democracy than the January 6th rioters. As tax law professor Reuven Avi-Yonah has noted, Littlejohn is now serving a sentence far harsher than any imposed on rich Americans convicted of tax evasion.

Littlejohn’s extreme sentence did not reflect the one single count of unauthorized tax return information disclosure he pled guilty to. That sentence reflects his “crime” of exposing the tax avoidance of the billionaire class.

Try this thought experiment: Imagine if Littlejohn had released the return information of 1,000 or so taxpayers with modest incomes to ProPublica. Imagine that ProPublica had then publicly detailed all the tip income that servers and bartenders among these taxpayers had failed to report and all the social meals that small business owners in the sample had claimed as business expenses. If Littlejohn had then pled to one count of unauthorized disclosure, would 25 members of Congress have intervened? Would the judge have imposed a sentence over six times the maximum recommended in federal sentencing guidelines?

Doesn’t it become dangerous to society when the punishment for a crime depends on who the victim happens to be?

We are now living that danger. Our billionaires sit firmly in control. And they will do whatever it takes to make sure they never pay tax at an appropriate level — even if that means locking a human being up for a preposterously long time just to send a message.

(Bob Lord is a veteran tax lawyer who practices and blogs in Phoenix, Arizona. He’s an associate fellow of the Institute for Policy Studies. CounterPunch.org)

---

SPF OLYMPICS (Egypt vs Spain)