Nursing Home Visit

I was walking down the long hall at my mother’s nursing home when I heard a bright cheery “Hi!” behind me. I turned around and saw a woman in her nineties rolling toward me in her wheelchair with a big smile on her face.

“Hi,” I said. “I'm heading down this hallway.”

“Let's go!” she said.

“What's your name?” I said. “Mine's Paul.”

“Leti,” she said. “Leticia. Take me with you.” (I think she liked me, and I started to wonder, hmm…)

“Well, I'm going to visit my mother,” I said. “We'll be coming back this way to go outside to the orchard and I'll introduce you. See you soon.” I continued down the hall then took a left into her room.  “Hi,” I said, sitting down. She had dozed off in her wheelchair with a book in her hands and MSNBC on the tube. “I just met someone here.”

“A visitor?” she said.

“No.”

“Someone who works here?”

“No, a resident named Leticia. I think she escaped from the Memory Unit, maybe we can take her outside to the garden with us?”

“No,” my mother said.

“No? No share-zies?” I said. “Well, are you ready to go?” I started wheeling her out of the room and noticed Leticia rolling in. “Hi Leticia,” I said. She wheeled herself back out, grumbling and mumbling. “That's the woman I met, I wonder how she found us?” I asked.

“Maybe she heard your voice,” my mother said. (I should have talked to Leticia for a few minutes when I met her in the hall and got her story, instead of being in a hurry to get to my mother's room.) 

Out in the garden we found a spot where there was sun for her and shade for me, blackbirds and seagulls hovered around on the low roofs waiting to pounce on the fruit. “I'm feeling really low energy, like Jeb Bush.” I said. “I've been making a list of what I like and what I hate: I like food, weed, wine, beer, scones, following politics, writing, conversation, reading good books, watching sports, and dancing. I hate to shop, cook, clean, do laundry, do my physical therapy exercises, and limp around on this bad hip. I might be depressed, maybe I shouldn't have come here today. If you really want to know, it feels depressing coming to this nursing home every day.”

“Well, how do you think I feel?” she said.

“Ten times worse,” I said.

“Don't look at your watch, that's rude.”

“Everyone's having fun but me. Kate, John, and Jessie (my sisters and brother-in-law) are all at Lark music camp. Carl is always having fun, Bergen is probably having fun, I'm just limping around. I think I have to get serious about planning for the hip replacement. You know how sporty people get their hip and knees replaced so they can resume their active lifestyles, like biking and mountain-climbing? I just want to be able to walk normally again, do you think I'll be able to dance for another ten years if I get the operation?”

“Yeah, probably.”

“I might not come tomorrow, I'm feeling really low energy.”

“Well, it's a long day if no one visits.”

“Does Kate come every day when she's in town?”

“Well, if she can't then John will usually come. It might be a little boring for him at first, but then the conversation gets going.”

I took her back to her room. “I hope Leticia doesn't come in here and strangle you in your sleep.”

“What?!” she said.