Live! Laugh! Love!

Live! Laugh! Love! has been the constellation navigation Big Dipper guide to my carefree journey through life. 

Nothing but severe diarrhea touches me so deeply as the simple, affirming message of “Live! Laugh! Love!”

Together we can make a difference. It takes a village.

LIVE: To the max. Stay on the sunny side, have a song in your heart and Keep on Truckin’. When life gives you lemons, squeeze them into your wife’s morning coffee.

LAUGH: When your wife hucks her morning coffee all over the scrambled eggs and toast.

LOVE: Because that’s really all we have in this world, isn’t it? Love, love, love is all you need. Love, love, love. It couldn’t be more simple-minded.

And now, some additional affirming messages like those at boutique shops selling tiny soaps and smelly candles to encourage everyone to join hands in an ever-expanding world of inspirational conformity.

PRAY: That your previous prayers will hurry up and be answered so you finally own a Malibu estate and get the Mercedes convertible you ordered. 

ENDURE: Strength, resolve, courage no matter the obstacle. If the guy in front of you at Starbucks orders the last croissant (the one you had your eye on) demand to see the manager. 

SHARE: No thanks. The herpes you gave me in the 1970s was more than enough.

DANCE: Like no one’s watching? You must be kidding. Everyone got up and left the room.

SUSTAIN: This is about farming. Never eat GMO food or farmed fish. Demand everyone eat sustainable fresh-caught trout off the shores of the South Pole. In a week every wild fish in the world will be gone and then we’ll see how much you hate farmed salmon.

INSPIRE: Be who you are and inspiration will come from within. Inspire others to achieve their dreams no matter the odds, just like you did when you took first prize in the Reno Wet T-Shirt Mudwrestling Championship in 1978. 

BELIEVE: Your belief that “Live, Laugh, Love” is the path toward a better world explains all the silly tattoos on your arms. Slogans are magic, just like the “Question Authority” bumpersticker on your Subaru. 

Never forget: Change begins with you. 

CELEBRATE: Right. Take everyone to a big party at Chuck E. Cheese. If I’m invited make it Hooters.

BREATHE: Inhale the beauty all around us, breathe in the magic that is you, fill your lungs with the life-enhancing bounty that is everywhere. Breathe in deep, deeper, deepest! (Do Not Exhale for at least two hours.)

JOY: Definitely. Let’s go back to Hooters.

THRIVE: Be healthy! Be the very best you can be! Take more than your share. You’ve earned it.

RENEW: Your subscription to the Anderson Valley Advertiser. You grow very sleepy. Your eyes are heavy. You will subscribe to the AVA!

REFRESH: Good idea. First door, then a left. Sink, shower, toilet, bidet.

SIMPLIFY: Give ‘em PopTarts for breakfast, TV dinners for supper, and don’t forget to sign ‘em up for free school lunches.

DREAM: The recurring one where you’re trapped naked inside a box and when you finally get out you’re on a stage and have to give a long speech to a big crowd on a topic you know nothing about. 

EMBALM: It’s like sunscreen for dry, chapped lips. Always remember to look your best!

COMMUNICATE: Have you seen the new emojis with Marvel Super Heroes? OMG!

CREATE: But you want to touch Adam’s finger first, right?

GIVE: You give so much. You’re so caring. Let’s have a great big parade for you next week.

INDULGE: Life is one big adventure, so take yourself on another journey through the cruise ship dessert line. 

BLESSED: Not the icky religious way, more like where you get to win the lottery.

RELAX: No one’s done more than you to help the world, so sit back, relax, and have a nice tumbler of wine. (You may now Exhale.)