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Mendocino County Today: April 18, 2012

THIS JUST IN: Third District Supervisor John Pinches reportedly suffered a significant heart attack last weekend and was recovering in Howard Memorial Hospital in Willits as of Tuesday afternoon. More to come.

A READER CLARIFIES: “According to a couple people I talked to just now — people who should know — it's not true. John was, I'm told, finally convinced to have some issues checked out, he'd been having trouble breathing, and he has been in the hospital, where they did do a procedure putting a stent in his artery — no real surgery, no heart attack — and he is doing much better and apparently is expecting to be released today, maybe, and he is expecting to be attending Monday's board meeting.”


MAN BEATER OF THE WEEK! The gloriously unrepentant Myranda Rose Menton. “Of course I hit the punk, and I'm going straight home and blast him again for calling the cops on me. What a wimp! One little slap? Are you kidding me? I think I'm going to look around Ukiah for a real man. I think I saw one at WalMart.”

A READER WRITES: “I heard Amy Goodman's hash on ‘Who Bombed Judi Bari?’ and I didn't here the name Sweeney mentioned, even once. What is this shit, white noise?”

DEMOCRACY NOW is to the Left what Fox News is to the Right. The integrity quotient at both is about the same. But then you never know. Maybe one of the Bay Area's 10,000 investigative editors will go to one of the 20,000 Bay Area investigative reporters who will alert the Bay Area's five million progressives that maybe it's time to do a story about clay foots.

I THOUGHT the reader was putting me on. Marijuana as a wine ingredient? Apparently certain vintners have been mixing pot with their cabernets for 20 years. According to my correspondent, “The recipe for pot wine, such as it is, consists of dropping one pound of marijuana into a cask of fermenting wine, which yields about 1.5 grams of pot per bottle; the better the raw materials — grapes and dope — the better the wine. The fermentation process converts the sugar in grapes into alcohol, and alcohol extracts the THC from marijuana.”

WANT A DRINK that’ll really make you croak?

They’ll tell you it’s aged in smoky old oak.

Just add wine to pot

Of course wine, it’s not.

More like that stuff they used to call “coke.”

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