Greetings one and all. If you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin. Hopefully you’re enjoying the spirit of the Holidays and may Hummingbird and I wish you and yours the very best of health and happiness at this time of year and for 2015. Meanwhile, how about a Christmas Quiz? Yes, I thought you’d agree with that. Here we go with ten seasonal posers. (Answers at the end of the column.)
1. What headgear did boys receive for Christmas in the mid-fifties?
2. What ‘Saturday Evening Post’ artist was known for his whimsical pictures of Santa Claus?
3. In the song “Grandma got run over by a Reindeer,” what did Grandma go to get?
4. What was the angel’s name in the best Christmas movie ever made, “It’s a Wonderful Life’?
5. What is the famous Christmas story written by O. Henry?
6. In the film “White Christmas,” which actress ends up with Bing Crosby’s character?
7. Who was the President on Christmas Day 1952?
8. In the great film “A Christmas Story” what special delivery arrived at Ralphie’s parents’ home in a package marked “fra-gi-le"?
9. In a 2001 movie, who said, “One can never have enough socks. Another Christmas has come and gone and I didn't get a single pair. People will insist on giving me books.”
10. In the song “The Thirteen Days of Christmas” what is given on the thirteenth day?
With all the socializing at this time and the many parties and drinking sessions being enjoyed, please be careful. In fact, if you are out and about on the roads try to get your designated driver organized and whatever you drink I urge you to stay off the “Train Wrecks” (Tequila and Whiskey). That’s just really silly!
Which segues perfectly into the Quote of the Week, this one from Miguel De Cervantes, author of “Don Quixote” and Spain’s greatest literary figure, “Drink moderately, for drunkenness neither keeps a secret, nor observes a promise.” Wise words of advice but I may have some difficulty in following them.
Public Service Announcements. Calendars and pens at the ready. #366. Useful numbers at this time of year. for road conditions and closures call 1-800-gas-road (427-7623) and for power problems and outages call 1-800-PGE (743)-5000. #367. At Lauren’s on Wednesday, December 31 at 9pm, you will be able to dance in the New Year with Los Piratas featuring Michael and Leslie Hubbert, Chris Bing, Jim Dooley, and David Lipkind. There is a cover for this star-studded line-up of $12 and prior to the show the regular dinner menu will be served from 5-8.30pm. #368. The Valley’s country-French-style Coq au Vin restaurant at the Floodgate will be open on New Year’s Eve, as will The Buckhorn pub. #369. Another reminder, with last-minute Christmas gifts in mind perhaps, of the Valley’s two annual Crab Feeds that will take place early in the New Year. First it’s the event that benefits the Senior Center, organized by the hard-working Board, and held on Saturday, January 17. Then, three weeks later, on Saturday, February 7, it will be Gloria Ross and her Crew presenting their event, “The Original Crab Feed” on behalf of the Catholic Church. Tickets for the first event ($30) are on sale at the Senior Center (895-3609), AV Market, Rossi’s Hardware, or Lemons” Market; and those for the Feb 7 feed ($40) can be obtained from Gloria at 895-3071. Both events will sell out so you don’t leave it to the last minute! #370. The Senior Center at the Veterans Hall in Boonville is closed for the holidays until re-opening for lunch on Tuesday, January 6. #371. The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital have confirmed two dates in January when they will be in the Valley. Thursdays, January 15 and 29.
Topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge — ‘Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant (and surprisingly reliable) Rumors’ from my favorite gathering place in the Valley,
…I have mentioned this before but perhaps it needs repeating. Having frequently witnessed the white-bearded grin of AVA Mighty Leader, Bruce Anderson, and heard his jolly laughter on many occasions, I am unable to get over the thought that the red-coated stranger who struggles to come down our Valley chimneys in the early hours of December 25 may not actually be Santa Claus. Now that’s something to ponder as you go to bed this evening.
…I am very pleased to report that my #1 fan, “Confused of Comptche” stopped by the 3-Dot to offer holiday greetings and share some words to the wise. “My own particular favorite Christmas story concerns my great Uncle Ernest. He was born in 1908, and he had all his own teeth until the day he died. This isn't as impressive as it might at first seem, however, as he died aged sixteen when he choked on a turkey bone on Christmas Day 1924.” Thanks for the warning, Mr. Confused. Something else to ponder.
…From our 3-Dot regular, The Old Buzzard, comes another in his insightful series, ‘Signs that the Apocalypse is Approaching.’ Buzzard reports, “Kids sitting on a barstool at the bar? This topic has been a hot one of late in certain Valley circles, and is something which, as a bar patron of many decades standing, I personally feel quite strongly about. To be blunt. they really should not be there! If for one minute I have to censor/edit my comments or the topic of my conversation because a young kid is sitting next to me at a bar stool, then we’re clearly further down the road to Armageddon than I had previously thought. And it’s not just for me. It’s for the sake of ‘the little ones’ too! Would any parent really want their child to hear the foul-mouthed and frequently tasteless gibberish that is spoken by so many, so often, as they pontificate at a bar surrounded by like-minded friends and acquaintances? I thought not.”I’m outtahere. I’ve got see a man about a sheep. Until we talk again, Keep the Faith; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; remember to keep your windows cracked if you have pets in your vehicle; and may your god go with you. A final request: “Let us prey.” Sometimes poking, often stroking, but always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture.
Contact me with words of support/abuse through the Letters Page or at turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net. PS. Skylark, read any good books lately? … Keep on humming, Hummingbird. … Everything cool with you, O.J.? Of course it is.
Quiz answers: 1. Coonskin Hats 2. Norman Rockwell. 3. Her medications. She’d have been better off without them! 4. Clarence Odbody 5. The Gift of the Magi. 6. Rosemary Clooney 7. Harry Truman 8. A lamp shaped like a leg. 9. Dumbledore in J.K. Rowling's, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. 10. Thirteen preying Turkey Vultures, which those who read last week’s column would certainly know!
Be First to Comment