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Posts published by “Zack Anderson”

A Slap In The Face

New England Patriot cornerback Ty Law, who has two seasons left on a seven-year, $51 million contract, wants to renegotiate the amount of cash he gets from sick to obscene. The Patriots, anxious to keep…

Breasts and Blitzes through the Dim

My friend N. is always asking, “When’s the party start?” N. is a convivial sort, learned on the subject of cakes and ales. And if there is a woman or bookmaker at the table to…

Wait a Minute, Mr. Postman

Lately I've received several end-of-the-year form letters wherein the sender(s) painstakingly detail their lives over the past year. It's the kind of missive only mothers could love, but nonetheless are becoming quite trendy among the…

Please, Mr. Santa Claus, Please

Dear Santa —  I’ve been a very good boy in 2003. Well, it’s all relative, right? Compared to Kobe Bryant and Paul Wolfowitz I look like #1 eagle scout with unsurpassed fire making and knot-tying…

In the Spirit of Dunkirk

Monday, 3:14pm — A friend calls to say that he is fed up with the stupidity and crassness of wage slaves happily voting to keep their wallets empty and their dreams stillborn. He invites me…

Time Is Not On Our Side

Things are getting weird. My roommate has moved all of his furniture, which is to say, all the furniture in the house, into the middle of the living room. He says that his ex-girlfriend has…

The Midnight Flight to Singapore

It’s the middle of August, and a scant 24 hours since I returned to Frisco from the JFK blackout fiasco, but the road beckons. There’s a month to go before the Giants charge into the…

So You Want to Be a Football Hero

Saturday night, the fairgrounds. The alumni football game against Deep Valley and hordes of Panthers old and new prowl the bleachers and field. I see Don Summit, Deep Valley’s hoops coach, and my old teammates…

A Salute to Old Panthers

When I think of high school football, the first thing that comes to mind is not grass or the Friday night lights, but the dust behind the gym, because that’s where we practiced: on a…

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