Mendocino County Today: Thursday, Sep. 20, 2018

• Ernie Blattner
• Fire Weather
• Hill Missing
• FB Candidates
• 100% Containment
• Haschak Endorsement
• Firetruck Price
• Stick Fish
• Palace Lien
• Little Dog
• Quizless
• Paving Willits
• Drug Boxes
• Campsite
• B Agenda
• Restraining Caltrans
• Yesterday's Catch
• Deluded
• Street Vending
• Wine Babble
• Holding
• Caltrain SF
• NeoCons
• Comptche Afternoon
• Bigfooted Nightmare

ERNEST WALTER BLATTNER

Ernest Walter Blattner of Ukiah passed away July 15, 2018 after a battle with cancer. His family was by his side. Ernie was born August 11, 1941 in New York. At the age of 3, his family moved to Anderson Valley.

Ernie served in the U.S. Army during the Cuban Missile Crisis. After the Army, he was employed by the California Highway Patrol in Santa Cruz. An injury ended his career with law enforcement and he returned to the Anderson Valley where he worked for his father at Blattner Sand and Gravel. Ernie subsequently purchased the business. He also worked for Hiatt Logging and for the Pardini family. He is preceded in death by his father Simon Walter "Smokey" Blattner, mother Pearl Blattner, step-mother Charmian Blattner, brother, Jerry Blattner, daughter Jennifer Anteczak, half-sisters, Donna and Sandy. Ernie is survived by his wife, Shirley and her children: Michael Williams, and his family, Shannon and Valerie Williams and family, Gregg and Monica Burgess and family. Ernie is also survived by his son, Ernest Blattner Jr, step-son, Dean Durham-Dunsing, sister Betty Hoppes and family, half-sister Darlene, Ginger, Judy and half-brother Albert. He is also survived by children that he helped raise: Rayno Ciro, Brandi Robinson and Dilan Gregory.

A Memorial Service is set for September 29th, 2018 at 11:00 a.m. at First Baptist Church of Ukiah at the corner of Oak Street and West Henry. The family requests that in Ernie's memory you donate to his favorite Charity, St. Joseph's Indian School. PO Box 326, Chamberlain, SD 57326

RED FLAG WARNING TONIGHT IN MENDO AREA

The National Weather Service in Sacramento has issued a Red Flag Warning, which is in effect from 7 PM this evening to 7 PM PDT Thursday.

WIND...North wind 10 to 20 mph with gusts 25 to 35 mph.

HUMIDITY...Overnight humidity recoveries as low as 30 to 40 percent, locally in the 20s. Daytime minimum humidities below 15 percent, locally in the single digits.

IMPACTS...any fires that develop will likely spread rapidly. Outdoor burning is not recommended.

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A Red Flag Warning means that critical fire weather conditions are either occurring now, or will shortly. A combination of strong winds, low relative humidity, and warm temperatures can contribute to extreme fire behavior.

(National Weather Service)

MISSING MAN LAST SEEN AT THE BOTTOM OF BELL SPRINGS ROAD THREE WEEKS AGO

Family members of John Hill are worried. Three weeks ago was the last time anyone saw him.

“He was left at the bottom of Bell Springs Road,” His brother Daniel said. “He was on his foot and just thumbing it.”

Hill, who doesn’t have a phone, normally contacts his family frequently. “He doesn’t go longer than 10 days,” Daniel Hill said. “We’ve checked all the places he normally hangs out–Laytonville and Garberville. Nothing.”

Daniel said John was cleanshaven and wearing dark-colored clothing when he was last seen at the foot of Bell Springs Road.

“He is 6′ and 180 pounds,” said Daniel Hill. He described his brother as sandy-haired with hazel eyes.

If you have any information, please contact the Mendocino County Sheriff’s Office at (707) 463-4411. Or call Daniel at (707) 513-8679.

FORT BRAGG CITY COUNCIL CANDIDATE FORUM ON SEPTEMBER 21

The League of Women Voters of Mendocino County and the City of Fort Bragg are co-sponsoring a Fort Bragg City Council Candidate Forum on Friday, September 21st from 6:00 to 8:00 p.m. at Town Hall, 363 N Main Street. The event will be live-streamed from the City’s Website and televised on Channel 3. Additional Candidate information, including the Candidate’s statement, Candidate Forum interviews and a personal history, is available on the City’s website. The Election Day is November 6, 2018 and the deadline to register to vote in this election is October 22, 2018.

RANCH FIRE 100%! FINALLY!

Mendocino Complex Information — September 19, 2018 

US Forest Service

The Ranch Fire is now 100 percent contained and the River Fire is 100 percent contained. Throughout the remainder of the week, crews will continue to monitor fire activity and repair firelines on the Ranch Fire. There are 22 miles of fireline to repair. The goal is to reduce erosion and other impacts from suppression activities. The forest is doing everything possible to reasonably reduce risks to the public and reopen areas but there is still a lot of restoration work to do. Some of the hazards in the closed area include burned standing trees or snags, exposed rebar stakes, logs and rocks that may become loose, and burned-out stump holes. The repair work has to be done before areas can be reopened to the public. With the current warmer and drier weather more smoke from well within the perimeter of the fire may be visible at times.

Fire Closure Area: The Ranch Fire area is closed as described in Forest Order 08-18-15. The purpose of the closure is to provide for public safety and for the firefighters who are engaged in repair efforts within the Ranch Fire closure area. The closure area applies to all public use, including hunting, the use of firearms and off-highway vehicles. The northern half of the forest is open for outdoor activities.

The B-Zone deer hunting season opened on Saturday and continues until Sunday 10/21/18. Forest visitors need to exercise extreme caution near the fire closure since heavy equipment and firefighting vehicles are utilizing area roads. Visitors can contact the ranger station nearest their destination for current information. For a high-resolution closure map, please use the following link: https://inciweb.nwcg.gov/incident/map/6073/0/88371

There will be no further updates for this incident unless significant activity occurs.

For detailed Mendocino Complex information visit: https://inciweb.nwcg.gov/incident/6073/

HASCHAK FOR SUPERVISOR

Letter to the editor

In support of John Haschak

A candidate who listens.

I liked John Haschak, but now I love him.

Here’s why:

I host a radio show about cannabis, and I’m a former permitted cannabis cultivator who gave up last year when my little farm couldn’t jump through all the regulation hoops Mendocino County and the state created. There are lots of people like me in this county, and in Humboldt, too.

That’s why I was eager to attend an Aug. 23 town hall meeting in Humboldt called “Community in Crisis.” The standing-room-only crowd at the Mateel Community Center in Redway addressed what its organizers described as “the drastic and immediate economic decline to our county from the fees — and fines that have followed — with small cannabis farmers put out of business.”

Sound familiar? Have you driven through Willits lately? It’s a ghost town. The Bypass isn’t the only reason. The collapse of the local cannabis industry is the other culprit.

On impulse, I invited John Haschak to go with me to the town hall in Humboldt because a friend had told me the candidate was eager to learn more about cannabis issues. On short notice, John agreed, kindly offering to drive when I confessed that I was nervous about navigating Highway 101 back home from Humboldt in the dark.

On the ride north, John told me about his 12-point position paper on cannabis cultivation, developed with input from many local cannabis farmers and residents.

He shared three points from his platform during the public comment period at the Humboldt meeting:

• Create regional banking so cannabis businesses can conduct safe, non-cash transactions like every other business;
• Allow farmers to sell directly to customers through farmers’ markets; and,
• Encourage farm cooperatives that will help small permitted farms compete with industrial grows.

The audience applauded John, as cultivator after shared devastating stories of loss of income, property values and peace of mind wrought by falling cannabis prices, the costs of regulation, and Humboldt’s draconian cannabis abatement program. A number of speakers said they were underwater with their mortgages, businesses and bills.

On the drive home, John told me about some of his other cannabis proposals for Mendocino County:

• Eliminate the county’s costly Trace and Trace program, which duplicates the state’s program;
• Keep cannabis inspections focused on cultivation compliance not on building-code enforcement;
• Calculate fees and taxes based on cannabis that is sold not what is grown, and,
• Find a path toward transferability of licenses.

John is not a grower. Never has been. He’s a Willits primary school teacher. Like all good teachers, he researches issues he needs to know more about. Most importantly, he listens. He listened to me, and he’s listened to many of my friends in the cannabis community.

I’m sure he’ll listen to you if you if you want to talk -- about cannabis or anything you care about. Chances are, John cares about that issue, too, and will work with you to help solve it, whether it involves the environment, a rubberized asphalt plant on Outlet Creek (no! no! no!), children and families, affordable housing, jobs, fair wages, tourism or education.

John Haschak made the long drive to Humboldt with me. I feel sure he’ll go the distance with you, too, whatever your challenge, concern or vision for Willits, Laytonville, Dos Rios, Covelo, Mendocino County or beyond.

A vote for John Haschak for 3rd District Supervisor of our county is a vote for all of us.

Jane Futcher

Longvale

AN INTERESTING ITEM appeared in the minutes of the Anderson Valley Fire Protection Committee’s September 5 meeting concern the Fire Department recent order for a new wildland fire engine. The engine order (for upwards of $300K, paid for via accumulated reserves, strike team reimbursements, and donations) was placed through CalFire’s existing fire vehicle contract with a few minor specifications for AV. “Price increased several thousand dollars after signed contract due to steel tariffs. Concerns about future discussions and price advantages with the contractor were discussed. An email about these concerns was to be sent out to the contractor’s sale rep.”

AV FIRE CHIEF Andres Avila added Wednesday evening that negotiations with the sales rep continue. His reading of the engine purchase order allows for a limited set of circumstances for price increases and surcharges, but they do not include tariffs.

JAN WAX OF PHILO WRITES: “Hi. For accuracy's-sake, the fish on sticks carried by elementary students weren't plastic. They were hand-sculpted and –painted papier maché in Mr. Bing's art class and made by his young students.

NO BUYER YET FOR PALACE HOTEL; PROPERTY IN FORECLOSURE

by Justine Frederiksen

While no one has made an offer on the Palace Hotel in downtown Ukiah yet, the man in control of the building’s future said this week that some things are in the works that could make the property much more attractive soon.

“We’ve had a few nibbles, but no buyers,” said Mark Adams, a receiver based in Southern California who was appointed by the Mendocino County Superior Court to take over attempts to rehabilitate the building in the hopes of making it usable again. “At least for now we’re coming up empty, but we haven’t thrown in the towel yet.”

The first potential change, which arguably would have the most impact, is that as of Aug. 17 the property has been placed into foreclosure. Adams said owner Eladia Laines, who purchased the property at a tax sale in 1990 with her business partners, now has until Nov. 17 to pay a $672,416 lien against the property.

“If she doesn’t pay it, she will lose title to the building,” said Adams, explaining that all other liens and “clouds” on the title would also be extinguished at that point, creating a clear title for any potential buyers.

The $672,416 lien only represents costs incurred by Adams, including his receivership fee, since he was appointed in 2016, as the court granted his lien “super priority” over all previous claims on the title.

“The lion’s share of the lien is the cost for the architectural and engineering plans for the seismic repairs needed on the building,” said Adams, who explained in July that a sudden doubling of the estimated costs for those repairs is what precipitated the need to put the property up for sale.

If the lien is not paid by Nov. 17, there will be a foreclosure sale about three weeks later, and Adams said that Laines could still pay the lien prior to the sale to retain ownership.

Adams said he is also working on investigating some tax credits that may apply to the property, such as the Opportunity Zone Fund and the New Markets Tax Credit.

“What I’m trying to figure out now is how much of a financial impact these credits might have,” said Adams, explaining that the tax credits would offset other costs any buyer would have, making the property a more attractive purchase.

Finally, another change is that the judge previously assigned to the case, a visiting judge named Leslie Nichols based in Santa Clara County, has been removed from the case due to “changes in the rules for visiting judges,” and Adams said he hopes to have a local judge appointed “if all parties agree.”

(Courtesy, The Ukiah Daily Journal)

LITTLE DOG SAYS, “I like Stormy, but I wish she hadn't gone public with that description of Orange Man's repro organ. I'm no prude, but jeez Storm, dial it down a notch.”

NO QUIZ THIS WEEK. The General Knowledge and Trivia Quiz is on the 2nd and 4th Thursday of each month and that will be next week - Thursday, September 27th… Plenty of time to hit the books until then. Hope you can make it. — Steve Sparks, Quiz Master

SPRUCING UP WILLITS

Willits Rehabilitation and Relinquishment of Old Highway 101

The prep work for paving Main Street will begin on Wednesday, September 19th.  The hours are 7 p.m. to 7 a.m. weeknights, the work is expected to last for seven days, finishing on Friday, September 28th.  This is one of the final phases of the Willits Relinquishment project.  The Willits Rehabilitation and Relinquishment of Old Highway 101 project will bring the road into a state of good repair and then turn it over the City of Willits and the County of Mendocino.  The paving portion of this project will start on Monday, October 1st.  The paving work will take place in 12-hour shifts, typically from 9 a.m. to midnight weekdays.  Due to the temperature requirements for the new asphalt this work will be done during the day.  The asphalt needs 50 degrees and rising temperatures to set up correctly so the 12-hour shifts may have to adjust accordingly.  The daytime work will start as late as possible, depending on the temperature, to help avoid early morning school and work traffic.  The paving work is expected to finish on October 15.  During both construction periods, night and daytime work, motorists can expect one-way traffic control with a pilot car.  Some side streets maybe closed but detours will be available.  The work will be taking place from Sherwood Road to the Highway 20 intersection.  Motorist should plan for up to 15-minute delays.  Striping is the final step of the paving project and is expected to take two weeks.  The target completion date is November 1st.  All timelines are dependent on any weather delays and other unknown issues that can occur with any construction project.   For more safety information and the latest updates like Caltrans District 1 on Facebook.

Cori Reed
Public Information Officer
for Lake and Mendocino Counties
Caltrans District 1
707.441.4678

ATTENTION JUNKIES!

Fort Bragg City Council Meeting Sep 24, Agenda Item 7A

Receive Report and Provide Direction to Staff on Possible Placement of Drug Take Back Drop Box and Sharps Disposal Box

ISSUE: The Mendocino County Health & Human Services Agency (HHSA) and MendoRecycle have requested cooperation and assistance with the placement of one additional Drug Take Back Drop Box and one Sharps Disposal Box within the City of Fort Bragg. This program is part of developing a Harm Reduction Strategic Plan in partnership with Ukiah, Willits, the Mendocino County Sheriff’s Office, Mendocino County AIDS/Viral Hepatitis Network (MCAVHN) and Adventist Health Ukiah Valley Street Medicine.

ANALYSIS: Drug Take Back boxes allow anyone in the community to responsibly drop off unused, expired, or unwanted medicines. Use of Drug Take Back boxes has been shown to reduce illegal drug use, unintentional poisoning, and pharmaceutical contamination of water. If the drugs are not left in medicine cabinets they cannot be used by recreational drug users or accidently taken by a child or adult.

•  Every 14 minutes, an American dies from an unintentional drug overdose.
•  Seven out of 10 people who abuse prescription drugs get them from friends or family.
•  Among children, emergency room visits for accidental drug poisonings are twice as

common as poisonings for other household products (e.g., cleaning solutions).

A common method of disposing of leftover or unwanted medicines is flushing them. This sends them into our rivers, streams, oceans and other waterways because our wastewater treatment plants are not designed to remove medications. Low levels of antibiotics, anti-seizure medicines, mood stabilizers, and sex hormones exist in drinking water across the U.S. The harmful effects on marine life from low-levels of medications are well-documented.

Needle Drop boxes allow community members to dispose of used syringes, needles and lancets often referred to as “sharps.” In addition to needles used in illegal drug use, sharps may be used at home, work or while traveling to manage different medical conditions of people and their pets, including allergies, arthritis, cancer, diabetes, hepatitis, HIV/AIDS, infertility, migraines, multiple sclerosis, osteoporosis, blood clotting disorders, and psoriasis. These sharps can cause injury and used sharps may have human blood on them and can carry blood borne infections, including hepatitis, HIV and other serious diseases. Tossing sharps into the trash or flushing them into the toilet can pose health risks for individuals who collect solid waste or maintain our wastewater systems, and other members of the public who may come into contact with these sharps. Staff encounters these sharps when cleaning City restrooms, parks and other public facilities.

Adding an additional location for community members to drop off unwanted medicines and a separate drop off location for sharps, provides individuals an additional option for disposing of these items and reduces the risk that workers and members of the public come into unwanted contact with these items. Convenient drop boxes encourage and offer individuals the best and safest way to dispose of these items.

The boxes are made of heavy duty galvannealed steel and constructed to resist corrosion. The boxes are lockable and will be anchored to 1⁄2” bolts sunk into a concrete base. They would be located outside, so that they are accessible 24-hours a day, potentially encouraging drop off by individuals who are not comfortable using the current location at the Police Department.

Mendocino County AIDS/Viral Hepatitis Network (MCAVHN) staff will be responsible for regularly emptying the drop off boxes. HHSS and MendoRecycle are requesting that the City take responsibility for installing the boxes but the City would not be responsible for the initial purchase of the drop boxes.

A number of locations have been recommended for placement of the drop boxes:

The Waste Management Recycle Center on Pudding Creek Road, because it is already a site where people bring items that should not be thrown in their regular trash bins. We would confirm that WM was willing to host the drop boxes. MCAVHN regularly meets there with users so it is a convenient site for disposal of used needles.

In front of the Mendocino County Public Health building on Fir Street. They have a sharps drop off inside but it is only available during business hours and the staff have to empty the box.

Near City Hall or Town Hall. Needles and other sharps are found in the restrooms at Town Hall and in the restrooms at Bainbridge Park. These facilities are subject to regular patrols by the PD and attempts at destroying or breaking into the boxes should therefore be reduced.

Near the hospital facilities as it is common to find drop off boxes near hospitals or clinics. We would need to ask the hospital for their approval of such a placement.

RECOMMENDED ACTION:

Provide staff guidance on an acceptable location for a Sharps drop off box and a Drug Take Back drop off box and direct staff to work with County staff to coordinate the delivery and installation.

ALTERNATIVE ACTION(S):

Provide staff direction to not cooperate with HHSA and decline acceptance of the Sharps drop off box and a Drug Take Back drop off box.

FISCAL IMPACT:

Coordination of delivery, installation and possible permit matters would require an estimated eight hours of staff time at an approximate cost of $600.

CONSISTENCY:

This effort is part of the work of the Safe Rx Mendocino Opioid Safety Coalition. Councilmember Cimolino and Police Department staffs are active participants in the efforts to raise the awareness about the dangers of opioids and how to get treatment.

IMPLEMENTATION/TIMEFRAMES:

If Council is in support of the effort, the boxes will be ordered within the next few weeks and installed within two months.

NIGHT SCENES, CAMPING AT CACHE CREEK

 

MENTAL HEALTH TREATMENT ACT CITIZEN'S OVERSIGHT COMMITTEE "MEASURE B" AGENDA for Wednesday, September 26, 2018

MEASURE B COMMITTEE Agenda 9-26-18

SAVE THE ALBION BRIDGE

Re: Albion River Bridge update

Statement released by Albion Bridge Stewards Wednesday.

On Tuesday, September 18, a San Francisco judge called for a preliminary injunction hearing regarding Caltrans' proposed geotechnical development application at the Albion River Bridge. The hearing is scheduled for Friday, September 28.  Caltrans is still precluded from proceeding between now and September 28 because, as of Tuesday, the agency had still not submitted to Commission staff the Debris Disposal Plan required by CDP Special Condition 3. This condition mandates that the disposal plan be submitted … not less than ten (10) working days PRIOR TO THE COMMENCEMENT OF ANY DEVELOPMENT… (emphasis ours).  Albion Bridge Stewards are encouraged by these developments, and are hopeful that the September 28 hearing will result in a temporary injunction that will halt progress on this ill-conceived plan while the lawsuit brought against Caltrans and the Coastal Commission by Whitesboro Farm and Albion River Inn is heard.

* * *

RESTRAINING ORDER PURSUED AFTER COASTAL COMMISSION APPROVES ALBION RIVER BRIDGE GEOTECHNICAL STUDY

Opponents of a planned geotechnical study on the Albion River Bridge, which CalTrans says is needed to proceed with plans to renovate or replace the historic span, say they have filed for a restraining order after the soils study – involving earth moving, tree cutting and helicopter flights around the oceanfront village – got unanimous approval from the California Coastal Commission at its Sept. 12 session in Fort Bragg.

ukiahdailyjournal.com/2018/09/18/meb-l-albion-0920/

CATCH OF THE DAY, September 19, 2018

BRIAN BRAZIL, Ukiah. DUI, suspended license (for DUI), probation revocation.

JEFFREY CARVER, Willits. Failure to appear.

JOHNY DELGADO, Fort Bragg. Controlled substance, felon with firearm, pepper box gun, resisting, probation revocation.

JEREMIAH ECKEL JR., Fort Bragg. Fighting in public.

JOSHUA FOX, Ukiah. Disorderly conduct-alcohol. Minor with alcohol, false ID, probation revocation.

CEAN GARNER, Cloverdale/Willits. Manufacture and possible sale of large capacity magazine, resisting.

JOHN KNIGHT, Ukiah. Ukiah. Under influence, controlled substance, offenses while on bail.

HECTOR PENA, Redwood City/Redwood Valley. DUI alcohol/drugs.

JOSE VERDUZCO JR., Willits. Assault with deadly weapon not a gun, leaded cane/billy club, vandalism, paraphernalia.

ON LINE COMMENT OF THE DAY

As generations passed here in affluent America, things got “easier” for each successive generation and the people became unable to deal with any information or turn of events that might require that they work harder, do with less, or make any kind of sacrifices whatsoever. They turned deaf ears to anything that did not sound happy or entertaining and became addicted to any lies or deceit that would allow them to go on dreaming. Marketing works. Lie to them and they will love you, tell them the truth and you will be scorned. Unfortunately, in the end, there is no victory in “I told you so”.

GOV. BROWN SIGNS BILL LEGALIZING STREET VENDORS THROUGHOUT CALIFORNIA

Gov. Jerry Brown signed a bill Monday decriminalizing sidewalk vending in the state and requiring cities that want to regulate the industry to first create a permit process.

ocregister.com/2018/09/18/sidewalk-vending-is-decriminalized-across-california/

WINE BABBLE FROM THE NYT RE ANDERSON VALLEY

A bucolic mythology of isolation?

nytimes.com/2018/09/13/dining/drinks/wine-review-pinot-noir-anderson-valley-california.html

“Now hold this until the mid-terms.”

$6 BILLION TUNNEL TO GET THE $100 BILLION TRAIN TO THE $2 BILLION BUS TERMINAL

From the SF Examiner last week:

After more than a decade of planning — with some studies and approvals dating back to 2004 — San Francisco officials have finally settled on a route for a Caltrain extension that could also eventually bring high-speed rail into downtown San Francisco.

The first major step toward actually running trains to the Salesforce Transit Center from the current Caltrain station at 4th and King streets was taken Tuesday, when a city transportation board granted a key first approval for a plan to dig a subway tunnel connecting them.

Once constructed, the tunnel, known as the downtown extension, will connect the $77 billion high speed rail system and newly electrified Caltrain cars to the gleaming new transit center, which so far only serves city and regional bus lines.

With the future in mind, the San Francisco County Transportation Authority voted unanimously to adopt the downtown extension along Pennsylvania Avenue as its preferred tunneling route...

Supervisor Aaron Peskin, who chairs the transportation authority board, said The City moved cautiously and “deliberately” in approving the downtown extension, as Phase 1 of the project — the transit center itself — was rife with “massive cost overruns and delays. We are aware if we don’t succeed,” he said, “we will have built the most expensive public works project since the Egyptian pyramids — a bus terminal.”

The route the transportation authority approved Tuesday will run the $6.1 billion construction project along Pennsylvania Avenue. That alignment was the second most expensive of the available options but also the one with the least construction impact on the street level in the growing Mission Bay area.

All three of the rail alignments the Planning Department considered would have terminated with a tunnel at the Salesforce Transit Center, traveled underground between Mission and Howard streets, veered southeast down Second Street, and turned south at Townsend Street...

The Pennsylvania Avenue alignment has an expected completion date of 2027. This option will impact 12 city blocks with surface construction, versus 53 blocks which would have been impacted by the surface alignment...

The vote by the transportation authority board, whose members also make up the San Francisco Board of Supervisors, is not the only approval needed for the project to move forward (emphasis added). [Planning Director]John Rahaim told the San Francisco Examiner that multiple regional, state and city partners will need to give their stamp of approval.

But, he noted, Tuesday’s vote is “the important first step in the process.”

* * *

Rob's comment:

Add up the tunnels required to get high-speed rail to San Francisco's Transbay Terminal: The tunnel described above, plus a 13.5 mile tunnel under Pacheco Pass, and a 1.5 mile tunnel from Chowchilla to Gilroy.

To get the train to Los Angeles, 45-50 miles of tunnels under the San Gabriel and Tehachapi Mountains!

Where will all the money to pay for this come from? No one has any idea. We can only hope Governor Newsom quickly puts an end to this foolishness.

(Rob Anderson, District5Diary)

HUFFMAN TOO

COMPTCHE ART/WINE DAY!

This Saturday from 2-6pm! Lots of Great Wine&Art!

Come enjoy Art of many Media! Wine tastes of all descriptions! Fun & Frolic!

YaY! See you there, C/U Rd.

Call 937-3362 for questions

Lynne <lynnezi2@mcn.org

THE DINETTE SET OF DR. CALIGARI

by Zack Anderson (August 13, 1997)

I’m a sucker for flying saucers, Bigfoot sightings and certain photogenic Russian clairvoyants. Spontaneous combustion, haunted houses, the curse of the Hope diamond: I secretly yearn for these things to be true. At Boonville elementary school my favorite hours were those spent perusing the paranormal section of the traveling book store, and my library reflected this heightened interest in: In Search of the Gods, Sasquatch: Man or Myth, The Loch Ness Monster, We Are Not Alone, etc. I had a recurring nightmare that Bigfoot knocked on the brightly painted school doors, methodically making his way to the classroom where I lay in wait. I was resigned to my savage, tragic end, inhaling deeply the once-comforting scent of crayons and paste, a sure victim of a rampaging Bly-like creature whose fury was no doubt the result of a mother’s disaffections. Bigfoot didn’t play little league, never could manage to blow out all the candles on his birthday muffin, nor muster the requiste Bs for honor roll fame. Freudians may interpret this dream as an obstinate (if perfectly natural) aversion to wage slavery; the hairy grunting beast a symbol of the gray cubicle Hades of corporate America, the primitive groans reminiscent of the bruising psycho-sexual gasps of the make-or-break frosh-soph football scrimmage. Perhaps they are right. Maybe I spied no solace in those green then brown Boonville hills, where the supply of logs dwindled before our eyes, the pesticides soaked the scorching Mexican-worked fields, and the camouflaged dope plantations of my friends’ parents looked almost blue in the cooling August sun.

Which is to say despite Siskel and Ebert’s hearty twin thumbs gesturing vaguely upwards, and Gene “Bozo” Shalit’s ringing endorsement, it required no leap of faith for me to plunk down $7.50 to see one of the summer’s self-anointed blockbusters: “Contact.”

But before we dive into two-dimensional heroics of pseudo-Christian logic strapped like distressed damsel toothed well-lubed Hollywood rails, let’s talk about the term “blockbuster,” a dimwitted cousin of “superstar,” Andy Warhol’s invention.

Warhol was of course the graphic artist with the fondness for adolescent musculature ribboned with nylon gouache. He used superstar to describe mega-celebrities like Jackie O, Edie Sedgwick and Ho Chi Minh. Now “blockbusters” are proof that “superstars” live among us. A superstar like Barbra Streisand doesn’t perform a series of overpriced schlockfests for low brows like Bill Clinton and Kevin Costner (both superstars them): she has a blockbuster tour. Superstars like Mel Gibson and Julia Roberts are paid millions of dollars to generate sick sums of money so that corporations can have enough money to buy off both parties and a couple of negro preachers, too. So superstar and blockbuster are really epithets. They refer to people and things that are shiny consumer packages created by dozens of PR men wearing tassled loafers and whispering into penlight recorders from the Sharper Image. But I digress.

What I wanted to say was: Why is the sound so poor at most rock concerts? Not only is it much too loud, the quality is awful. Why? I put the question to myself on this darkling Fillmore night. At any moment the Specials will take the stage. As I wait for the headline band the silver steed that is my sentimental education chomps at the bit, anxious to be freed from the archaic constraints of culture and civility, to run free, to stomp on the precious flowers, to raise its tail and relieve itself on the rock garden of the lawn nazi across my pointless suburban street. I imagine that being 15 anywhere is a terrible burden, and Boonville was no different.

Musically I was something of an urban reactionary. As my roommate was the imperturbable G.P. Price, a city boy from San Francisco’s Fillmore areas (quelle coincidence!), I listened to whatever he played: Kool and the Gang, the Sylvers (of “Hotline” and “High School Dance” notoriety), Earth, Wind & Fire, etc. I also listened to the Bay City Rollers and Linda Ronstadt. It was your basic stuck-in-the-country-don’t-want-to-be-a-redneck-throw-in-some-Soul-Train-groove kind of aesthetic.

Late at night I would listen to KFI out of Los Angeles. The first song that began to alter my sensibility from R&B urban to new wave-punk poseur was Blondie’s “Heart of Glass.” But then something monumental happened. My cousin Wayne dropped off two records: The Specials and something by the Talking Heads. I listened to David Byrne sing “Take Me To The River” and was bored if not insulted. There was no beat. Compared to, say, Leo Sayer’s “Dance Dance Dance,” it was a bunch of art school crap. Then I put on The Specials. There was the reassuring sound of the needle finding the groove followed by a brassy trombone. Then a weird sounding white guy with an English accent half-sang, half-warned: “Stop your messing around, better think of your future…”

I was transfixed, transformed, transported. This was what I would sound like if I had a band and could sing. I listened to the whole album. Besides the old ska remake “A Message To You, Rudy,” The Specials sang of nightclubs where the beer tasted funny, girls who got pregnant with mascara running in the wet fog, and wanna-be-gangsters who pretend they’re James Bond on the bus ride to the unemployment office. I was hooked on those tales about urban grime and class warfare and dirty, needle-strewn East End alleys.

Soon thereafter Dave Roderick, Olie Erickson and I bought Vans and wore skinny black ties to record dances inside the cafeteria. We pogoed off the decorative bales of hay. Breathing the clean cold air, afterwards the stars shown and it seemed anything was possible. That’s the tragic beauty of a 16-year old’s view of the world — sort of like a jelly doughnut the size of Rhode Island (i.e., how sweet is sick?).

Now years later I stand in the smoky Fillmore and wait for those same Specials to take the stage. They are one of the countless bands who have reformed to cash in on America’s shallow fascination for “retro,” if ten years ago can qualify as honorable History. They sing all of their old songs, while kids pogo and older people drink boutique beers. I abstain, anxious not to profane a holy moment.

And speaking of divine intervention, “Contact” is a movie, not a film. It stars Jodi Foster as a scientist who spends her life pointing giant military satellite dishes at the sky in hopes of making — surprise! — contact. Based on the novel by Carl Sagan, it’s everything you’d ever want in mindless-with-a-message summer fun. Foster’s quasi-romantic interest is the ravishing Matthew McConaheehaw, who plays a charismatic Jesus freak with dimples and really nice eyeglasses. When aliens make contact, a spaceship is built to see what they want, which is to be comped the honeymoon suite at the Reno Sands. The President of the United States, played by George Bush, refuses and Out Of This World War One begins. But instead of guns and mustard gas, the aliens use common sense and even — gasp! — humanity. Besides intelligent life in Provo, Jodi Foster finds a beautiful thing to fill the void of her deceased parents: a black Land Rover with snow tires and awesome stereo system. I don’t want to give away the ending, but let’s just say that it involves enlightenment and kindred ponderous issues — like if there is no north and south in deep space, how do you find your favorite swimming hole? Look for Oscar nominations for special effects and soundtrack and all those pointless awards that nobody cares about because the winners are always a bunch of ex-hippies in rented tuxedos who thank their wives and the Academy and then all of the wonderful folks at Skywalker Ranch who make billions feeding us our own dreams, only with a more uptempo editing.

Afterwards I walked down Chestnut Street to a record store and flipped through the used CDs. There was a Specials album in the reduced price bin. I thought about buying it but couldn’t make myself. I didn’t want to go back, I wanted to go forward. So I walked outside and turned my hope and my eyes skyward, waiting for a sign.

Then I got a crink in my neck and drove home, ordered a pizza and went over selections for the upcoming rotisserie league football draft. I’ve got Jerry Rice and Ricky Watters. Are you interested? Is anybody out there?