Bird’s Eye View (Dec 16, 2015)

Greetings one and all. Are you are sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin. As I write, on a cold, wet, and windy Sunday morning, the power is out at The Nest in the hills above the Christine Woods region, and possibly the whole Valley for all I know. This happens a lot less frequently in recent years but I am somewhat at a loss as to how I will do so many of the things I take for granted, not to mention that with the internet out and spotty cellphone service up here I am virtually incommunicado with the outside world. Not a bad thing at times, but right now these technical difficulties are a little inconvenient.

So: Quotes of the Week, taken from times when today’s advances could not even be dreamed of. Canadian philosopher Marshall McLuhan who among many things predicted the World Wide Web some 30 years before it was invented: “The new electronic interdependence recreates the world in the image of a global village.” Arthur C. Clarke: “Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.” Henry Ford II, grandson of the original Henry and boss at Ford Motors for 35 years: “The technological triumphs of the past few years have not solved as many problems as we thought they would, and, in fact, have bought us new problems we did not foresee.” Anonymous comment: “Technology is the science of arranging life so that one need not experience it.”

Public Service Announcements. #543. The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital will be visiting the Valley just once more this year: Tomorrow, Thursday, December 17 at the AV Farm Supply on Highway 128, north of Philo. To avoid a line perhaps go around 3pm, you will definitely be seen. New customers and their pets are always welcome and previous visitors can call 462-8833 and the vets will bring your pet’s charts. They will make two visits in January: the 14th and 21st. #544. Need a burn permit? From 11am to 3pm on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Fridays you can get one from the Firehouse in Boonville. Call 895-2020 for more information or stop by. #545. The Boonville Farmers Market continues every Saturday at its winter venue, outside The Boonville General Store, from 10am-12:30 pm. For more info call Cindy at 895-2949. #546. The AV Lending Library, run by The Unity Club, is open at The Fairgrounds on Tuesdays 1.30-4.30pm and Saturdays 2-4pm. #547. The County Dump is open from 9am-4pm Tuesday, Wednesday, Saturday, and Sunday. Remember, no dead animals! The number for the Dump is 895-3569 and checking first to see that they are open is probably well worth the small effort. The Recycling Center in Boonville is open Wednesday-Saturday, 9-4pm (489-2033). #548. There’s Karaoke at The Buckhorn this evening, Wednesday, December 16. The show is hosted by Sarah Songbird Larkin of The Real Sarahs from 9pm until close. #549. The Philo Post office hours on December 24 will be from 8.30am to 12 noon, and for some inexplicable reason they will be closed all day on December 25. The Boonville Post Office is probably the same. #550. And finally this week, here is a message from long-time Valley resident and top AV Historian, Pat Hulbert, “I just got back into town. Been down in Redwood City with my sister, getting some radiation treatments. Can you put this in your column, please? Candle Light Service at the Philo United Methodist Church on December 24th at 6:30pm. Social Hour to follow Service. All Welcome. Thanks Turkey Vulture. Great to be back home. Pat H.” It is done, and welcome home, Pat.

Here is the menu for the final Community lunch of 2015 at the Senior Center at the Veterans Building in Boonville. The Center asks for a $6 donation from seniors and charges $7 for Non-seniors. Tomorrow, Thursday, December 17, the lunch, served by Marti Titus and her crew at Noon, will be Smothered Steak with Apple Pie Bars for dessert and includes vegetables, salad bar and fruit, plus milk, coffee, tea, and lemonade. What a deal, maybe the best $7 you’ll spend all week! Hopefully you will be able to attend, and remember. ALL ages are welcome! The Senior Center will be closed for lunch/dinner from Friday, December 18, 2015 through Monday, January 4, 2016. They will re-open for lunch on Tuesday, January 5, 2016.

Topics and Valley events at The Three-Dot Lounge: “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant (yet surprisingly reliable) Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley.

…Update from Crab Feed Central. Excellent news. There will be crab! The previous concerns over the availability of these delicious decapod crustaceans have been alleviated and both of the Valley’s Crab Feeds, arguably a couple of the best Valley gatherings of the year, will take place as originally revealed. These events always sell out thus leaving many folks disappointed so I encourage you to get your tickets early. The Senior Center Feed is on Saturday, January 16 and tickets are now on sale. Give Gina a call at the Senior Center at 895-3609. Gloria Ross’s Catholic Church Feed will take place three weeks later, on Saturday, February 6, with tickets becoming available in the near future. I shall keep you posted on any new information on both of these not-to-be-missed occasions.

…Want a special treat over the holidays? Then I humbly suggest that you take the time to sit down and watch the classic Christmas movie “It’s a Wonderful Life” with your loved ones. Although I have seen it many, many times by now (like many of you folks no doubt), it never fails to raise my spirits and helps me to appreciate so many of the things that I take for granted. It is, quite simply, one of the best films ever made, and surely strikes a chord with even the most curmudgeonly of Valley folks and Turkey Vultures, and perhaps even the most self-absorbed of young people too.

…The Christmas Parties keep coming, and each one of the following has been a joy to attend. The AV Fire Department’s at Wellspring; the Independent Career Women at The Buckhorn. Yes, the males of the species were invited; an exclusive Book Club gathering at a venue that cannot be divulged; and, coming up soon, the AV Lions extravaganza at The Senior Center catered by Chef Maria, formerly of Coq au Vin. The annual Christmas Tree Lighting in the Hotel parking lot was ok. I was there outside only briefly but long enough for one somewhat disappointed observer to remark, “Same old lights, I see. But still better than a poke in the eye.” Apart from that, for many of us, these gatherings with friends and loved ones are by far the best aspect of the Christmas holidays; certainly better than dealing with all the hype, stress, and gift-buying in the wind and rain, none of which I actually deal with anymore incidentally.

…A couple of weeks ago, I enjoyed the heart-warming sight of one of the leading winemakers in Anderson Valley sipping a smooth pint of Guinness on a Sunday afternoon in The Buckhorn. A person no doubt experienced in many of the finer things in life and obviously enjoying one more.

…And continuing on that theme, I also spotted, and shared a few beers with, a number of our local schoolteachers who were celebrating the end of the semester in what was a fine adherence to the very civilized pastime of relaxing and socializing with friends after a job well done. Good for them.

…From our 3-Dot regular, The Old Buzzard, comes another in his insightful series. “Signs that the Apocalypse is Approaching.” “I do believe that it is written in the Constitution that when toast is served with a traditional American breakfast, two pieces are to be provided. No Amendment has been made to my knowledge. One slice is obviously just not right if the meal is to be devoured completely and the consequential message of appreciation and fulfillment is to be sent to the cook and server. Let’s not allow this alarming thought go any further. it would be a very significant sign that the Apocalypse is Approaching. “

Time to take my leave, I’ve got see a man about a sheep. So “please take me drunk, I’m home.” Until we talk again, Keep the Faith; be careful out there; if you break a leg don’t come running to me; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; be kind and show love to your pets; and may your god go with you. A final request, “Let us prey.” Sometimes poking, often stroking, but almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture. Contact me through the Letters Page or at turkeyvulture9@gmail.com. PS. Keep on humming, Hummingbird. … Missing the Venerable Pheasant everyday. … On the sheep, Grace.