Greetings one and all. Are you are sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin. This week let’s start with our 3-Dot regular, The Old Buzzard, and his report on last weekend’s County Fair held in Boonville for the 88th year.
Buzzard reports, “I should point out that this is far from a complete review of events at this year’s Fair. Perhaps that has been done elsewhere in the newspaper by a “proper” journalist? This is more of a scatterbrained report of what I can actually remember. Here we go. Despite widespread fears, only two local girls, now college graduates in fact, ran off with the carnies at this year’s Fair and both were back at work on Tuesday morning, neither of whom were the worse for wear for their experience. I say this because the carnies are ok. They just get a little lonely sometimes and so a little female company at the end of a hard day working on the The Gravitron, The Wheel of Fire, and The Zipper is always nice. However, three local boys did “run away with the fair” and have not returned. They will no doubt be having the times of their lives for the foreseeable future. I feel I should support the carnies and protest their unfortunate reputation because I know that Turkey Vulture himself was a carnie at one point in his life and he has ensured me several times over a bottle of Jameson Irish Whiskey that he is a fine upstanding citizen around these parts. Yes, I have heard many of his tales of when he worked the bumper cars on the famous boardwalk in Asbury Park, New Jersey, during the summer of 1980, the debauchery and the craziness. TV will tell you that it was the making of him! But I digress, back to the Fair. Many folks shared with me their thoughts on the various food on offer at this year’s event. Darrell’s various sausages and grilled onions along with the cheeseburgers from the AV Volunteer Firefighter folks were tied at the top of the list I would say, just beating out the teriyaki chicken-on-a-stick; several folks said that the pizza and the baskets of Kurly Fries (about the size of the average newborn child) were better than expected, and the corn dogs impressed many folks, particularly the bacon-wrapped jalapeño variety — not a bad way to die, I thought, as I watched Turkey Vulture devour his 17th one — a new Fair record by the way.
“I observed, and was involved in, the very social drinking by Valley folks in and around the Lions Club “Bar” where there was lots of meeting and greeting of old friends and familiar faces. Unfortunately, there was no beer available to folks who wanted to watch the high school football game in the main arena. Apparently “we can’t have the beer near to the kids.” a change that was introduced a few years ago after a single complaint was received, thus ending a tradition of many years standing. As if the kids do not see beer and wine being sipped at other times. Is it that hard to work out? Just don’t serve the kids. what is the problem here?. On a related topic, for those many folks who wondered why there was no Coors Lite available anywhere, the answered is that the working relationship with the Budweiser people has been good one for several years and it is not worth changing for an insignificant amount of extra money that Coors may, or may not, offer. From a personal standpoint I don’t think there is much to choose between Coors Lite and Bud Lite anyway, but it just so happens that the former has been in vogue in recent times amongst many Valley beer-drinking folks and hence their desire to see Coors Lite at the Fair.
“I enjoyed a Saturday evening of strolling around the livestock enclosures where I observed some wonderfully presented and cared for animals — particularly the pigs and sheep — I’ve never seen such large and well-kept yearling ewes. Many people were pleased that the Parade of Champions was finally moved back one hour this year to 7pm on Saturday — a time when many more folks are around so we get the ‘Best in Fair’ winners parading in front of the bigger audience they deserve. I heard that County Sheriff Tom Allman was there to meet-and-greet on Saturday afternoon in the Redwood Grove. A person who chatted with him informed me that he was prepared to be once again bamboozled, or is it bamboobled, by the Large-breasted Boonville Flasher. She has done this to him on a number of occasions and when I spoke to her earlier, her reasoning was quite simple, “I think Sheriff Tom understands by now — it’s what I do!” Finally Fair Manager Jim Brown’s sense late on Monday morning, before any actual numerical count had been taken, was that numbers were down a little overall once again this year, with Friday definitely down, Saturday up, and Sunday down a little too. He also reported that everything went very smoothly, there were no significant problems for the sheriff’s deputies, and everyone who was involved with the organizing and presentation had done a great job. I had to agree and it seemed to me that everyone there was having a wonderful time and on their behalf may I be so bold as to thank all of those concerned for their hard work in putting together “The Best Little Fair in the West.”
Public Service Announcements. #544. The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital are visiting the Valley on one more occasion this month, tomorrow, Thursday, September 24, at the AV Farm Supply on Highway 128, north of Philo. Their next visit is not until Thursday, October 29. #545. The Boonville Farmers Market continues every Saturday at the Boonville Hotel, from 10am-12:30pm, featuring locally grown and produced vegetables, herbs, fruit and meat, as well as crafts, knife and tool sharpening some weeks, and music and conversation every week. For more info, call Cindy at 895-2949. #546. The AV Lending Library run by The Unity Club is open at The Fairgrounds in Boonville on Tuesdays from 1.30-4.30pm and Saturdays from 2-4pm. #547. The County Dump is open from 9am-4pm Tuesday, Wednesday, Saturday, and Sunday. Remember, no dead animals!
Here is the menu for the Community lunches over the next week in the Senior Center at the Veterans Building in Boonville. The Center asks for a $6 donation from seniors and charges $7 for Non-seniors. Tomorrow, Thursday, September 24, the lunch, served by Marti Titus and her crew at Noon, will be Sesame Chicken and Wendy’s Oatmeal cookies for dessert. Then, next Tuesday, September 29, the lunch will feature Short Ribs, with Mudslide for dessert. All meals include vegetables, salad bar, and fruit, plus milk, coffee, tea, and lemonade. What a deal. it maybe the best $7 you’ll spend all week! Hopefully you will be able to attend, and remember — ALL ages are welcome! Hope to see you there.
Topics and Valley events from The Three-Dot Lounge — “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant (yet surprisingly reliable) Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley.
…Back to the Fair. Several 3-Dot old-timers noted that Eva Holcomb has the record for most Fairs attended: 77. Yes, seventy-seven! She has not missed one since first attending as a four year old in 1938. Surely at this point Eva eats, drinks, and goes on as many rides as she likes — all for free of course!
…“Schadenfreude” is defined as “pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others.” This word is taken from German and literally means “harm-joy.” It is the feeling of joy or pleasure when one sees another fail or suffer misfortune. An English term of similar meaning (but with no noun equivalent) is “to gloat,” which means “to feel, or express, great, often malicious, pleasure, or self-satisfaction, at one's own success, or at another's failure.” To my point, Last week, when Hummingbird was overtaken by a dangerously driven red pick-up truck doing about 50mph at least as she passed through the heart of Philo’s 30mph section, she was furious at such driving, knowing that it could have easily have led to a serious accident. However, several minutes later, as she approached Boonville on Hwy 128, there at the side of the road was that same red pick-up. pulled over by a CHP officer and the driver receiving a ticket, no doubt for speeding. She could not help herself. She tooted her horn and waved in a perfect moment of schadenfreude. Sometimes life is perfectly fair.
…You should be aware that a betting pool has started amongst 3-Dot regulars to see who can correctly guess the number of tourists in the month of September whom I spot on my travels pulled off on to the shoulder of Hwy 128 between Boonville and Navarro feverishly picking blackberries. Bonus points are available to those who also guess the number who are in a thicket of poison oak as they unsuspectingly gather their goodies.
Time to take my leave — got see a man about a sheep. So, “Take me drunk, I’m home,” Until we talk again, Keep the Faith; be careful out there; if you break a leg don’t come running to me; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; please remember to keep your windows cracked if you have pets in your vehicle; and may your god go with you. A final request, “Let us prey.” Sometimes poking, often stroking, but almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture. Contact me through the Letters Page at turkeyvulture9@gmail.com. PS. Skylark — read any good books lately? Hi, Silver Swan, behaving yourself? Hopefully not! Everything cool with you, O.J.? Of course it is.
Be First to Comment