Mendocino County Today: Thursday 1/23/2025

Warmer | Decomposers | Antle Testifies | Paz Popped | AV vs Mendo | Campbell Caught | Hideous Mustache | Navarro Cottage | Sampler Fetish | Crab Feeds | P Funds | Death Cafe | State Taxes | Skyhawk Radio | Walking Tour | Cycling Race | Folk Music | Ed Notes | Zones Celebration | JAG Meetings | Road Trip | Yesterday's Catch | Young Cranford | PG&E Love | Water Diversions | Draw! | Weed Report | Aging Richness | Niners DC | We Promise | Acting Shamelessly | Laundry Day | Grandparent Visit | OK Trumpers | Lead Stories | Fetterman Fashion | Billionaires' Row | Don't Shoot | Biden Hustle | Mental Health | International Law | Hatchet Jack | Blue Bouquet | Capitalism

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MOSTLY DRY for the next six days, then potential of light precipitation arrives late Wednesday night into Thursday next week. Chilly nights and mornings, especially this weekend. Potential for gusty winds return to the area Friday through Sunday, focusing on the coast Friday, and including more interior locations Saturday into Sunday. (NWS)

STEPHEN DUNLAP (Fort Bragg): Clear skies & 38F this Thursday morning on the coast. Enjoy the warm afternoons as the weekend is looking colder & very windy. Is that a credible shot at rain later next week? I have been saying "rain later next week" for quite a while, we'll see.

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COUNTY CEO TESTIFIES AT CUBBISON PRELIMINARY

by Mike Geniella

The County of Mendocino’s chief executive acknowledged Wednesday that the County’s criminally charged former Payroll Manager worked long hours to single handedly prepare a payroll for 1,200 public employees.

CEO Darcie Antle testified that Paula June Kennedy, facing trial for felony misappropriation of public funds along with suspended Auditor Chamise Cubbison, managed to meet payroll demands despite years of coping with a flawed computerized processing system called MUNIS that required the user to have knowledge of 1,000 or more pay codes.

“It was exhausting work for a single person. The hours she was putting in was alarming to all of us,” said Antle.

Antle said when Kennedy completed one payroll, she had to “turn around and start the next one.”

Antle was called to testify by special Prosecutor Traci Carrillo of Sonoma County, who was hired by District Attorney David Eyster to try the contentious case after his own role began to be publicly questioned.

Antle’s testimony came during the first day of a long-delayed preliminary hearing for Kennedy and suspended Auditor Chamise Cubbison that finally got under way Wednesday in Mendocino County Superior Court.

Carrillo spent the day with Antle and Cherie Johnson, the County Deputy CEO in charge of Human Resources, attempting to set the stage for her effort to show criminal misconduct on the part of Cubbison and Kennedy as alleged. It was slow going, and often bogged down in questions surrounding County policies versus law.

Cubbison and Kennedy each face a single felony count of misappropriation of public funds filed by Eyster, who in October 2022 formally accused Cubbison of allowing Kennedy to use an obscure pay code to collect about $68,000 in extra pay over a three-year-period during the Covid pandemic.

Clouding the case has been allegations that Eyster has been waging a politically-inspired vendetta against Cubbison after quarreling with her in past years for challenging his own office expenses.

In an extraordinary move, Eyster in 2021 blocked Cubbison’s appointment to serve as interim Auditor when former Auditor Lloyd Weer retired early.

Unknown to the public at the time, Eyster also outlined a three-step plan to consolidate the Auditor-Controller and Treasurer-Tax Collector officers, and eventually do away with elected officials to lead them in favor of a new county Finance Director under the control of the County Board of Supervisors. The plan was implemented over stiff opposition from senior county finance employees including Cubbison, Weer and retired Treasurer-Tax Collector Shari Schapmire, and civic groups like the Mendocino County Farm Bureau.

On Wednesday, County CEO Antle and Cherie Johnson, the Deputy CEO in charge of the county’s Human Resources Department, were the first two witnesses among the five who are expected to testify during the scheduled two-day hearing.

Judge Ann Moorman will decide at its conclusion whether the case will go to trial or be dismissed as sought by defense attorneys acting on behalf of Cubbison and Kennedy.

Antle and Johnson agreed that County administrators did not question if Kennedy had performed the work covered by the extra pay.

“No doubt,” said Johnson. She outlined a series of merit pay raises for Kennedy over the year, including one for extraordinary merit during the Covid pandemic.

At issue, however, is who if anyone told Kennedy to use to the “470” pay code which both administrators testified are typically used in worker comp cases. Normally, the Board of Supervisors must authorize extra pay. Only amounts under $1,000 can be processed internally, which Kennedy and Cubbison are accused of doing.

Johnson’s testimony also confirmed that former Auditor Lloyd Weer actively engaged in efforts with the CEO’s Office to secure extra help and salary reclassifications for Kennedy during the period in question. Weer has denied directly authorizing Kennedy to use the disputed pay code to compensate herself but he agrees her workload had been a chronic issue among him, Cubbison and County administrators.

Former CEO Carmel Angelo wanted to slice the payroll function from the Auditor’s Office because of concerns that only one person – Kennedy – knew how to meet the demands.

Kennedy and Cubbison both resisted the efforts, however. They did not believe the growing number of Deputy CEOs Angelo was putting in place had the experience or know how to make the County’s admittedly flawed system work.

Antle acknowledged that after Cubbison was locked out of her office and Kennedy’s remote at home office equipment was seized, the county had to bring in outside help to meet payroll demands.

Antle, however, said there is now a checks and balance system in place requiring she and acting auditor Sara Pierce to review and approve every payroll before money is paid to County employees.

“I was doing that out in the hallway today before coming in to testify,” said Antle.

The preliminary hearing resumes at 10 a.m. Thursday.

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PAZ: PROHIBITED PERSON IN POSSESSION WITH PRIORS

On January 21, 2025, at approximately 7:30 PM, Deputies with the Mendocino County Sheriff's Office were conducting a civil service in the 300 Block of Brush Street in Ukiah.

While in the area, Sheriff's Office Deputies heard loud metal banging in the area. They located a subject working on an electric scooter. Deputies recognized the subject working on the scooter as Rafael Paz, 47, of Willits, and were aware that he had a felony "No Bail" warrant for his arrest. They knew Paz was on active Post Release Community Supervision (PRCS) with search and seizure terms.

Deputies advised Paz he was detained, pursuant to his PRCS terms and conditions. Paz refused to comply with the Deputy's orders and attempted to flee through a residence entry door, approximately eight feet behind him. Deputies stopped Paz as he opened the door to the residence and pulled him out of the threshold of the doorway. Paz resisted Deputies attempts to restrain him and place him in handcuffs. After resisting lawful orders to comply, Paz was able to remove a firearm from his front waistline and give the weapon to a subject inside the residence. Shortly after removing the firearm from his possession, Paz was taken into custody.

Deputies recovered the firearm from the occupant of the residence. Deputies later determined the firearm was reported stolen. During a search of Paz's person incident to arrest, a magazine for the firearm and approximately half a gram of suspected methamphetamine were located in his possession. In accordance with California Proposition 36, Paz's possession of the methamphetamine was a felony violation. Paz was determined to be prohibited from possessing firearms and ammunition due to previous criminal convictions.

Deputies placed Paz under arrest for Prohibited Person in Possession of Firearm, Post Release Community Supervision Violation, Possession of Hard Drug with Two Prior Drug Related Convictions, Armed During the Commission of a Felony, Carrying a Concealed Stolen Firearm, Resisting, Delaying, Obstructing Arrest, and a Felony Bench Warrant.

Paz was subsequently booked into the Mendocino County Jail where he was to be held without bail.

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THIS FRIDAY!! 1/24 - Two teams giving it their all under the bright lights, with every play igniting the crowd. Our coastal neighbors and rivals the Mendocino Cardinals come to town! Bring your spirit, cheer loud, and be part of a night where the love of the game takes center stage. Let’s make it unforgettable!

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OUTTA THE CLOSET, ANDRU

On Friday, January 17, 2025 at approximately 1:23 p.m., a Ukiah Police Department (UPD) Officer was on routine patrol in the parking lot of the old JC Penny’s Building (205 N. Orchard Ave.) when he recognized Andru James Campbell from prior law enforcement contacts standing on the north side of the building.

The Officer knew Campbell had two felony warrants for his arrest out of Mendocino County and knew Campbell to be on CDCR Parole (CDCR-California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation).

When the Officer attempted to contact Campbell, he immediately fled on foot towards North Orchard Avenue. The Officer gave commands to Campbell to stop running, which were ignored. The Officer followed Campbell as he entered Video Tepa (249 N. Orchard Ave.) and barricaded himself in a supply closet.

Additional UPD Officers were requested to the scene to assist in the apprehension of Campbell. While Campbell was barricaded in the supply closet, he made statements of possibly being armed with a weapon and threatened to shoot at UPD Officers. UPD Officers set up a perimeter around Campbell’s location and began negotiating with him for a peaceful outcome.

Through the investigation and while negotiating with Campbell, it was determined that Campbell was most likely not armed with a weapon. Campbell was ultimately contacted in the supply closet, and after a brief struggle, he was placed under arrest without further incident.

While searching the supply closet after Campbell’s arrest, the Officer located a methamphetamine pipe, suspected methamphetamine, and pepper spray. A criminal history check of Campbell showed he is a convicted felon and is not allowed to possess any amounts of pepper spray.

Campbell was transported to the Mendocino County Jail to be booked and lodged for controlled substance, paraphernalia, tear gas, parole violation, resisting, and his two felony warrants. Campbell’s two felony warrants for Corporal injury to a spouse, damage to communications device, and violation of parole.

As always, UPD’s mission is to make Ukiah as safe as possible. If you would like to know more about crime in your neighborhood, you can sign up for telephone, cellphone, and email notifications by clicking the Nixle button on our website: www.ukiahpolice.com.

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NOT LONG after we posted the abbreviated report about Sacramento lawyer Kelli Johnson’s lawsuit against the Mendocino County Sheriff’s office, we received a copy of the County’s “response” to Johnson’s lawsuit. In an interesting coincidence, the County Counsel’s office hired a Sacramento lawyer named John R. Whitefleet to prepare a pro-forma boilerplate response in which most of the “answers” were versions of “Defendants generally and specifically deny the allegation…” In a few cases they said, “Defendants lack sufficient knowledge that enables them to answer the allegtion.” And in a couple of cases they answer by saying that the allegations “contain conclusions of law, argument or misapplication of law and not averments of fact.”

ONE OF MS. JOHNSON’S ALLEGATIONS is that she was denied free speech rights by the Mendocino deputy who arrested her and a corrections officer because, Ms. Johnson says, her bad treatment stemmed from some provocative remarks she made during the incident on the Mendocino Headlands.

According to Ms. Johnson’s complaint at one point she told the arresting deputy that “his mustache was hideous and she didn’t understand how he could look at himself in the mirror every morning and not shave it,” alleging that the mustache comment was the reason she was arrested on the spot. When Ms. Johnson asked the deputy why she was being arrested he allegedly replied, “Public intoxication.” To which, Ms. Johnson alleges, “Plaintiff was clearly no longer intoxicated.”

This statement appears to be in conflict with an earlier claim by Ms. Johnson where she says that her mother called law enforcement after she refused to leave her parents’ rented house when asked by her mother because “she could not drive because she had been drinking and smoking marijuana that she had legally purchased at the dispensary in town and that there were no Lyfts or Ubers available. Plaintiff explained that [after being kicked out of her parents house for a “panic attack”] she had nowhere else to go and needed to take a nap so that she could safely drive to Napa, California, for a date that evening on her way to Sacramento. Plaintiff said she would wait until the evening before driving to ensure that she was sober.”

LATER, after her alleged mistreatment during the arrest and on the way to Ukiah, Johnson says that at the jail a “heavy deputy with a mustache” told her, “You don’t get to talk now.” To which she says she replied, “Actually, I get to say whatever the fuck I want whenever the fuck I want, and there is nothing you can do about it bitch.” (If she really was sober by this point, that doesn’t seem like a lawyerly way to handle the situation.)

AFTER BEING ROUGHLY put into a holding cell, according to Ms. Johnson, “a jail attendee” (?) brought her a glass of water asking, “You’re not from around here, are you?” To which, Ms. Johnson says she replied, “Oh, I get it. your small town police force thinks they are above the law! Well guess what! The Constitution is the Supreme Law of the Land, and it applies everywhere in this country, including your small town police force.”

MS. JOHNSON may have a beef about the way she was handled (we still await the videos). But it will be interesting to see how she plans to prove her allegaion that she was arrested for insulting the cops, cops who are regularly subjected to various drunk and sober insults, in violation of her free speech rights.

(Mark Scaramella)

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COTTAGE FOR RENT IN NAVARRO

800sq ft studio. Rent includes water, garbage, and Internet. The rent is $1,200.00 per month with $1200.00 deposit. Great place for a couple or individual. Small pets allowed with an additional deposit.

This cottage is a remodeled old rail cabin. Back in the early 1900’s, it was built on top of an old growth sled that could be dragged by horse or oxen to flatbed train cars. Then, it would be delivered to the logging camps for residence or utility. Now it is a remodeled and extended studio.

Nestled in the redwoods of the Deep End, it is conveniently located on Hwy 128 just across from the Navarro Store.

Amenities include both Electric and Propane Heat, AC/Dehumidifier, Electric Stove, water heater, full bathtub and shower, laundry facilities and Jacuzzi (seasonal) available on premises. Water, Garbage, and Internet provided. Tenant is responsible for Propane, Electricity, and Yard Maintenance.

Owner lives in home on adjoining lot.

Call Marty at (510) 432-6196.

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CLOVERDALE PERV HITS UKIAH COSTCO

An assessment flagged the man as 'above average risk' to strike again

by Matt LaFever

A Bay Area man used free samples at a Mendocino County Costco store as cover to sexually assault employees, authorities said.

Timothy Scott McIlvain, a 55-year-old Cloverdale resident and now registered sex offender, was convicted by a jury in October of last year after authorities painted a picture of McIlvain’s harassment at a Costco location in Ukiah. On May 30, 2024, McIlvain drove 30 miles north to Ukiah and grabbed a female Costco employee serving samples without her consent, then attempted to expose himself to another before she confronted him.

A police report written by Officer Anthony DeLapo and obtained by SFGate offers a detailed account of McIlvain’s actions on the day of his arrest. When Ukiah Police Department officers arrived at Costco at about 5:35 p.m., they were informed that “a male customer had inappropriately touched a female employee.” At the time, McIlvain was standing in the self-checkout line.

When DeLapo and Officer Jordan Miller approached him, McIlvain “would not speak” and “‘aimlessly’ stared” at them. The report notes that the officers were initially unsure whether he was “deaf or could not speak or simply just refusing to speak to us.”

McIlvain’s lack of response prompted the officers to place him in handcuffs and escort him out of the store. According to the report, he “refused to walk on his own accord,” allowing his body to go limp. The officers had to hook their arms around him, reporting that they dragged McIlvain “out of the store while holding him up.”

As he was removed from the Costco, McIlvain “continuously yelled,” an action described in the report as an apparent attempt to “cause a disturbance.”

While Miller waited outside the store near the patrol car with McIlvain, DeLapo went inside to interview the Costco employee. She said she was working at a sample station when she was approached by McIlvain. She said he stood in front of her booth and “immediately made her feel uneasy,” according to the report. The employee recognized him from a week or two earlier, when he had displayed similarly odd behavior, approaching her cart and simply staring.

The employee said she informed McIlvain about the food samples she was offering, but he didn’t respond or acknowledge her. The tense interaction was interrupted when another pair of shoppers approached the booth to ask about the product she was serving. After they moved on, McIlvain stepped around the sample booth and stood directly beside the employee. He reportedly asked her, “What do you think?” She responded as if he were asking about the product she was offering. McIlvain then clarified, “What do you think of me?” The woman replied, “You’re OK,” as she was “trying to be friendly and not upset him,” according to the report.

The report details McIlvain’s disturbing next move: He “took his right hand and grabbed her vagina outside of her clothes.” He reportedly remained silent throughout the assault and then walked away. Police also viewed surveillance footage of the interaction, though no conversation was audible in the recording.

Police additionally learned from the store’s manager that McIlvain had had an “inappropriate interaction” with another female employee as well. The second employee told officers he approached her cart, acting “kind of flirty.” He then walked around to her side, making her uncomfortable, and said, “That ain’t no keys in my pocket,” before moving to pull down his shorts. The employee yelled, “Get out of here!” prompting him to leave. She told police she did not see whether he had actually exposed himself.

At the patrol car, McIlvain remained uncooperative, refusing to sit in the back seat and wedging himself between the door and the vehicle. DeLapo wrote that he went around to the driver’s side of the car to try to pull McIlvain inside, but McIlvain hooked his feet under the door, resisting entry and trying to “slide himself backwards out of the passenger side.” After a struggle, the officers eventually secured McIlvain in the back seat.

Based on interviews the officers conducted and the surveillance footage they reviewed, McIlvain was arrested and booked into the Mendocino County Jail that day on charges of misdemeanor sexual battery, misdemeanor attempted indecent exposure and misdemeanor resisting a peace officer. A Mendocino County jury convicted him on Oct. 8.

In a news release, the district attorney praised the two Costco employees for their courage in coming to court, confronting McIlvain and testifying before the jury.

On Nov. 8, McIlvain was sentenced to 12 months of formal probation and was required to register as a sex offender for 10 years. He was not sentenced to any time behind bars, despite an assessment deeming him highly likely to reoffend, according to a memo obtained by SFGate. The memo details the results of the Mendocino County Probation assessment of McIlvain, using the Static 99R Risk Assessment, a diagnostic test designed to estimate the likelihood of sexual and violent reoffending in adult males. The assessment concluded that McIlvain falls into the “Above Average Risk” category for reoffending.

McIlvain is currently incarcerated in the Mendocino County Jail on another charge, Mendocino County Chief Probation Officer Izen Locatelli told SFGate. After his sentencing for the Costco incidents, he filed an appeal with the Mendocino County Superior Court, though publicly available documents do not specify the grounds for the appeal.

SFGate contacted Corey Mostafa, McIlvain’s court-appointed lawyer, to understand McIlvain’s reason for appeal.

“I only recently received the trial transcripts for Mr. McIlvain’s case,” Mostafa explained, adding that he has yet to determine the specific appeal issues. Like with other appeals, he said his review will focus on identifying potential legal errors. “Mistakes made by the judge, the prosecutor, or defense counsel” could provide grounds for the appeal, he noted.

Mostafa also stated that he would assess whether the evidence presented during the trial was sufficient to support the jury’s decision to convict McIlvain on all three charges. He emphasized that his work remains in its early stages as he reviews the case in detail.

(SFGate.com)

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CRAB FEEDS (this weekend)

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MEASURE P FOLLOW THROUGH (after two years)

Sharing a letter from Fire Chiefs.

I've rarely seen our tax funds maximized for public benefit as utilized by our local fire departments. They've followed through on the Measure P promise.

The Mendocino County Fire Chiefs Association (MCFCA) wishes to thank the people of Mendocino County for approving Measure P in November 2022, which made a small percent of sales tax available for fire-safety services.

Since it is a general tax, the County of Mendocino is not obligated to grant Measure P revenue to Fire Agencies. However, the Board of Supervisors also passed Resolution 22-159, stating its intent that 100 percent of the Measure P funds collected would be used for fire protection and fire prevention services.

As promised during the Measure P campaign, the MCFCA has been vigilant in monitoring the County’s use of those funds, and is pleased to report that, to date, the County of Mendocino is apportioning all Measure P revenues as intended by Mendocino County voters and Resolution 22-159.

As your first responders for structure fires, wildland fires, medical emergencies, car accidents, search-and-rescue incidents, winter storms, floods and any other disasters we may face, Fire Agencies rely on volunteers and public dollars. Maintaining adequate equipment, facilities, personnel and training to provide this response is essential. Costs and call volumes are increasing every year.

Although Measure P funds alone are not sufficient to meet the expenses, they are helping our agencies continue first-response services, and we appreciate that the County is prioritizing fire and EMS funding with these dollars. We will seek continued prioritization from the County of Mendocino, and we are grateful for the support that the people of Mendocino County have shown for our first-responder services. Thank you.

Sincerely,

Doug Hutchison - President, MCFCA

Ukiah

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ERNIE PARDINI

My girlfriend just did her state taxes. She works for the California department of tax and fees. She makes about fifty thousand dollars a year. She claims zero dependents, voluntarily has them take twenty-five dollars a month out of her check for state taxes above what they withhold from her check, and this year still owes the state approximately six hundred dollars. Why do we continue to let government keep taking more and more of our earnings to balance the budget when corporate America further enriches themselves with lower and lower tax rates and transfer the resulting need for more money to the already over burdened working class. And when they talk about tax cuts the biggest cuts go to the super rich.

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PERSPECTIVES on KZYX, Chris Hedges: Is this the end of the American Empire? January 23, 7pm

Please join host Chris Skyhawk, on KZYX, for Universal Perspectives: Exploring Late Stage Capitalism; Whats Next? This slot will air on January 23, at 7 pm PDT, and will feature an interview with Pulitzer Prize winning journalist Chris Hedges: “Is This The End Of The American Empire?” KZYX broadests on 90.7 and 91.5 FM and on the web at: www.kzyx.org

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‘MURDER, SHE WROTE’ WALKING TOUR of Mendocino (Cabot Cove)

Saturday, January 25, 11:00 am - 12:30 pm. $25

‘Murder, She Wrote’ fans will enjoy this walking tour of landmarks that appeared in the hit TV show starring Angela Lansbury. Locations you will visit include the 1888 Victorian residence of Lansbury's mystery-solving character, Jessica Fletcher, and the hotel that was home to many suspects (and the crew and actors while filming).

Meet at the Kelley House Museum, 45007 Albion Street, Mendocino. Tickets may be purchased at the door or at: https://www.kelleyhousemuseum.org/event/murder-she-wrote-walking-tour-mendocino-2/

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LOW GAP HOPPER CYCLING RACE JANUARY 25-26 IN UKIAH

World Class Competition, Community Involvement, and Innovative partnerships: 2025 Low Gap Hopper delivers it all!

[Ukiah, California, January 22, 2025] – With nearly 550 participants, the 2025 Low Gap Hopper mixed-terrain cycling race on Sunday, January 26 and related events are guaranteed to bring excitement and attention to the City of Ukiah and Mendocino County.

In its 28th consecutive season, the Grasshopper events are legendary and considered “must do” events for many of the world’s top cyclists. Activities begin on Saturday, January 25 with a course recon ride with event supporter Enduro Bearings leaving from Black Oak Coffee Roasters in downtown Ukiah at 10:30 am. In partnership with the City of Ukiah, registration will occur 5-7 pm at the Ukiah Welcome Center Saturday evening with Ukiah Brewing Company offering a portion of their proceeds from the evening to the event’s beneficiaries, who are working to introduce young women to cycling. The event is also supporting local high school student clubs who will be staffing the rest stops on course.

Saturday, January 25

• 10:00 AM – Coffee Ride W/ Enduro Bearings: Join Enduro Bearings and the Hopper crew, including World Champion Ned Overendhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ned_Overend for coffee and a shakeout ride starting at Black Oak Coffee in Ukiah. Tech talk, and giveaways included! Meet: 476 N State St, Ukiah, CA 95482 • 5:00 – 7:00 PM - Packet Pickup and Dine Out for Monarch Racing and the NorCal Interscholastic Cycling League: Join us at the Ukiah Welcome Center (200 S School St, Ukiah) for packet pickup and then dine out at Ukiah Brewing Company to support the event’s beneficiaries.

Sunday, January 26

• 6:30 – 9:00 AM - Registration: Registered rider packet pick-up at the Golf Club House at Todd Grove Park. Hot coffee and pastries provided! • 8:30 AM – Start Line Call-Ups: Staging on Live Oak Ave with call-out of celebrity riders and welcome from Hopper founder and Mendocino Redwood Company representative • 9:00 AM - Neutral Start: Ukiah Police escorted roll-out thru town to Orr Springs Road • 1:30 PM - After Party and Celebration: Post race after party and celebration at Todd Grove Park with lunch, fun activities, podiums, and Hopper sponsor giveaways!

All the details and registration info: https://grasshopperadventureseries.com/

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ED NOTES

WE CAN'T SAY we weren't warned. The orange monarch is doing what he said he would do — establish America as Backwardsville.

WORLD HEALTH ORGANIZATION? Who needs it? Global Warming? No such thing, as a foot of snow falls on New Orleans. People born in the United States? Color coded, and they gotta go. Fascist assault on the national capitol? “These people are great patriots.”

HOW CAN TRUMP cancel birthright citizenship? But, but, but… isn't that illegal? Not if you own the courts, and Trump owns the one that makes the final decisions.

IN THE FLURRY of retro edicts flying out of the White House, the one issuing blanket pardons to the Jan 6 rioters will establish them as Orange Man's on-call street militia. They will soon be visible as they're deployed with a wink and a nod to break up the opposition's rallies and demonstrations. The Jan 6 yobbos, with their “patriotism” sanctioned by Trump, will likely be reinforced by thousands of new recruits.

THE SO-CALLED Proud Boys have already been unleashed on the libs in Portland, but the libs seem to have toughened up since the sixties when demonstrators were mostly book readers. (At least in my street fightin' circles.) The Portland street battles saw the libs give the Proud Boys all they could handle, and then some.

CURIOUS about the Peltier case? The AVA recommends “In the Spirit of Crazy Horse” by Peter Mathiessen, a comprehensive investigation of Peltier's alleged shooting of two FBI agents as well as the psycho-social context of the rez where it occurred.

ADD to my infinitely long list of irritations — the Press Democrat's two-tier obituaries, one for locals called “legacy” obits, one for celebs called “newsmaker” obits. Since we're all equal, presumably, on The Other Side, why not just one obituary column called Deaths?

CHUCK ARTIGUES wrote in to say that Dave Chappelle's recent SNL appearance was very, very funny and available on YouTube. I second Chuck's review. Funniest stuff on SNL in years, not that I would know really since I'm never up that late, and the clips I see of the late night comics don't inspire me to delay my 9pm beddy bye.

AS A KID, I read the sports page of the Chronicle with such avidity I can still recite whole rosters of ball clubs from the Old Pacific Coast League. I followed the Seals, USF basketball and 49er football. I got to a couple of Niner games at old Kezar, and until recent old age afflictions, I'd pop into the old Kezar Pavilion on an occasional summer's night to watch a few minutes of what I think is called the Pro-Am Basketball League. Like most people, I keep to the perimeter of the park after dark to avoid the wild things lurking inside, but beginning with the gauntlet of dope dealers at the Stanyan gate.

AMERICA isn't the country I grew up in, which isn't entirely a bad thing but isn't exactly a good thing either. There's a passage in Phillip Roth's novel, ‘Exit Ghost,’ where a young person asks an old person, “What's it like to be old?” And the old person answers, “Try to imagine the year 4000. That's what it's like.”

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PROPOSED 2025 JACKSON DEMONSTRATION STATE FOREST ADVISORY GROUP MEETING DATES

Mendocino County, CA - The Jackson Demonstration State Forest Advisory Group (JAG) will be holding multiple meetings during the coming year. Below is the proposed schedule; please be aware that meeting dates are tentative and subject to change for a variety of reasons, including weather:

March: Tuesday, 3/18/2025, Fort Bragg Lions Club, 430 E. Redwood Avenue, 9:00 a.m. to 4:30 p.m.

June: Tuesday, 6/24/2025, Location TBD, 9:00 a.m. to 4:30 p.m.

September: Tuesday, 9/16/2025, Location TBD, 9:00 a.m. to 4:30 p.m.

November: Wednesday, 11/5/2025, Location TBD, 9:00 a.m. to 4:30 p.m.

Confirmed meeting dates and associated documents, including the Agenda, will be posted a minimum of 10 days prior to the meeting on the Jackson Demonstration State Forest Website: https://www.fire.ca.gov/what-we-do/natural-resource-management/demonstration-state-forests/jackson-demonstration-state-forest

The Mission of the Jackson Demonstration State Forest Advisory Group (JAG) is to provide advice/recommendations to CAL FIRE and the Board of Forestry regarding issues relevant to the periodic review of the JDSF Management Plan required under Board policy; ongoing implementation issues; and policy matters relevant to JDSF. The Charter for the Jackson Advisory Group is available on the JDSF website listed above, as is the JDSF Management Plan.

Contact JDSF with any questions at JDSF@fire.ca.gov, (707) 964-5674, or the Jackson Demonstration State Forest Headquarters, 802 North Main Street, Fort Bragg, CA 95437.

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R.D. BEACON

I remember in 1960, when my friend Raymond H Ross, and I went east, to pick up his new car, a Plymouth, sports fury, big engine, manual transmission, that was the year, it snowed in Florida, bitter cold, everywhere, it was my first, airplane ride in a jet, from San Francisco, to Chicago, luckily we dressed, very warm, it was an interesting trip, in our travels, we went and saw the Hope diamond, and in Chicago, science and industry Museum, in New Jersey, we saw the world's largest bowling alley, while traversing across the nation, we even got a glimpse, Linden B. Johnson, in his Cadillac convertible, going about 90 miles an hour down the highway, when we went to earlier, New Orleans, we visited, the Tabasco, hot sauce factory, continuing on West ever forward to get home, to the beautiful Mendocino Coast, and the town of elk.

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CATCH OF THE DAY, Wednesday, January 22, 2025

SAGE BEHAG, 31, Covelo. DUI with blood-alcohol over 0.15% causing bodily injury, no license.

TINA CORNWALL, 30, Ukiah. Camping on sidewalk, storing camping paraphernalia on public or private property.

FIDEL ESPITIA-BARRALES, 43, Ukiah. Probation revocation.

JILL GARAYALDE, 52, Redwood Valley. DUI.

MICHAEL LANGLEY, 35, Ukiah. Probation violation, resisting.

PAUL MARTINA, 43, Ukiah. Battery with serious injury.

KYLE MARTINEZ, 37, Laytonville. Domestic battery.

MICHAEL MENKE, 31, Ukiah. Under influence.

RAFAEL PAZ JR., 47, Willits. Concealed stolen weapon, felon-addict with firearm, controlled substance with two or more priors, armed with firearm in commission of felony, county parole violation.

JOHNNY SHIELDS, 55, Ukiah. Probation revocation.

MARK SPITSEN, 49, Ukiah. Controlled substance with two or more priors, paraphernalia, probation revocation.

KELLY STANTON, 48, Ukiah. Trespassing, paraphernalia, resisting, bringing alcohol or drugs into jail.

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WITH LOVE, PATTI

Editor:

In P&GE’s full page ad in the January 12 Press Democrat, I found it quite interesting that their CEO justified raising our rates because when customers overall use less energy it drives our rates higher because “our rates are based on dividing total costs by the units of energy used.” Perhaps PG&E’s corporate leadership should calculate their rates differently and fairly so customers don’t think we are getting gouged and that PG&E is trying to recover the immense amounts of profit lost because they hadn’t done enough to prevent future wildfire losses, in great part due to their slow reaction to the effects of climate change. From the first paragraph, which included “leading with love,” to the last, which included “With love, Patti,” the irony and faulty, ungrounded reasoning just grew and grew.

Dana Parnay

Healdsburg

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SALMON AND DELTA GROUPS BLAST TRUMP MEMO CALLING FOR INCREASED WATER DIVERSIONS FROM THE DELTA

by Dan Bacher

January 21, 2025* - President Trump signed a memorandum yesterday titled ‘Putting People over Fish: Stopping Radical Environmentalism to Provide Water to Southern California.’ Salmon advocacy and environmental groups today issued statements slamming Trump for the falsehoods contained in his executive order.…

https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2025/1/21/2298336/-Salmon-and-Delta-groups-blast-Trump-memo-calling-for-increased-water-diversions-from-the-Delta

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THANK JAH #1

This is Pablo Zee

With the SoHum skinny

The light dep is in

All dried and trimmed.

OG's still around

but there's a new queen in town

crossed from Girl Scout Cookie

it's some crystal nookie

get your chicken by the pallet

and she's gonna pack your wallet

the queen of the crop

Wedding Cake is top!

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And now the weed report:

Wedding Cake dep is going from 18-23,

depending on quality.

Wedding Cake indoor is going from 22-31.

Other good indoor is going from 22-28.

Crappy indoor is going from 17-21.

OG and Sour D dep are going from 12-15.

A well-stored outdoor OG pound from

last year just went for 14.

Please send samples to

The Weed Report,

Star Route 666, Groovy-ville,

California 55555,

so we can see what all the fuss is about.

Now here comes the ashy weed

The legal six is all you need

or 20 or 50 whatever you want

better just hope John Ford can't count

Thanks to Jiminy Mulch and the Z-Man

for contributing.

Happy Harvest from The Weed Report.

Take it away Captain Hummingbird!

— Paul Modic

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WHAT CAN 49ERS DO IF ROBERT SALEH ISN’T THEIR NEXT DEFENSIVE COORDINATOR?

by Eric Branch

After head coach Kyle Shanahan’s last two defensive coordinator choices didn’t work out, it appears his top choice this year could end up working elsewhere.

The San Francisco 49ers have circled their former defensive coordinator, Robert Saleh, as the top candidate to replace Nick Sorensen, but Wednesday’s developments on the NFL’s coaching carousel might have lessened the chances of a reunion.

Saleh began the day as one of three candidates scheduled to have second interviews with the Jaguars to be their head coach, but that list shrank when Buccaneers offensive coordinator Liam Coen took himself out of consideration.

Saleh, the Jets former head coach, and Raiders defensive coordinator Patrick Graham, who has no previous head-coaching experience, are scheduled to have follow-up meetings with Jacksonville this week. Saleh has also interviewed with the Cowboys and Raiders for head-coaching vacancies that haven’t been filled.

On Wednesday, the Jaguars fired general manager Trent Baalke and announced Ethan Waugh would serve as their interim GM and assist in their head coaching search. Waugh worked with the 49ers and overlapped with Saleh during his tenure as the team’s defensive coordinator from 2017-20.

With Saleh’s availability increasingly in question, there’s a question about the 49ers’ third search for a defensive coordinator in the past three seasons: What’s their backup plan?

The only outside candidates the 49ers are known to have interviewed are Saleh and Lions defensive passing game coordinator Deshea Townsend, who both had virtual meetings with the 49ers on Jan. 9. The 49ers have also interviewed Brandon Staley, their assistant head coach who was hired last year after previously serving as the Chargers head coach and Rams defensive coordinator.

The 49ers have certainly reached out to other potential candidates, but other possibilities won’t include Jeff Ulbrich, who was hired as the Falcons’ defensive coordinator last week. The 49ers wanted Ulbrich to fill their coordinator opening last year when he was the Jets’ defensive coordinator, but Ulbrich was unable to get out of his contract with New York.

Their inability to get Ulbrich, among other candidates, led Shanahan to promote Sorensen, a rookie coordinator who lasted just one season in the role. Shanahan referenced Sorensen’s inexperience on Jan. 8 when explaining why he wouldn’t get a second season, pointing to his struggles to tweak the defense when the 49ers dealt with injuries.

“I’m not saying you’ve got to change schemes, but you have to have the ability, the history and the knowledge of how to change some stuff up when you’re in some certain situations,” Shanahan said. “And I think that we do need that more going forward.”

Shanahan promoted Sorensen after firing Steve Wilks after one season. After parting with Wilks, Shanahan cited his lack of an extensive background in their style of 4-3 defense that originated with the Seahawks under former head coach Pete Carroll.

Saleh, of course, has both the experience as a coordinator and the background in the 49ers’ system, a combination the 49ers would presumably prefer after the brief tenures of Wilks and Sorensen.

If Saleh doesn’t work out, Gus Bradley, who was a mentor of Saleh’s, is a potential candidate who fits the profile. Bradley, who was fired earlier this month after three seasons as the Colts’ defensive coordinator, was Seattle’s defensive coordinator for Carroll’s first three seasons as the Seahawks head coach (2010-12) and has 12 years of NFL coordinator experience.

Shanahan tried to hire Bradley in 2017, but he chose the Chargers and the 49ers ultimately hired Saleh.

Eight years later, the 49ers would like to hire Saleh again, but they must be prepared to pivot to Plan B — whatever that is.

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WHY THEY’RE ACTING SHAMELESSLY

They’re too terrified
To feel shame. Their fear of Trump
Overwhelms their shame.

— Jim Luther

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CRAIG SUGGESTS LEVITATION

Re-Inauguration Analysis

Seated in front of a guest computer at the Drop In Center located behind Adam’s Place Homeless Shelter in northeast Washington, D.C., with the laundry in the dryer, it is noteworthy that the views and analysis regarding the re-inauguration on Monday is much different than the perspective in the District of Columbia. Martin Luther King Jr. day was celebrated with appropriate solemnity and reverence, while the re-inauguration was ignored. Aside from the absurd amount of security everywhere, much of it far away from the rotunda in the Capitol building, particularly the miles of fencing all over the downtown area, and teams of security personnel at the Metro train stations, the re-inauguration was irrelevant to local residents. In fact, the entire spectacle of the federal government is of no interest, with most district residents wishing that the Federal government would move to St. Louis! The second Donald J. Trump presidency might as well be taking place on the moon, insofar as Washington, D.C. residents are concerned. It is weird living here, in the midst of this American schizophrenia. Otherwise, stop identifying with the body and the mind, and your problem is solved! That is all. ~The End~

Craig Louis Stehr

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ON LINE COMMENT OF THE DAY

Ok, Trumpers, can we at least finally admit that “eating the cats and dogs” was total bullshit, prices for groceries will NOT go down over the next 12 months, the Covid vaccine saved a lot of lives, the US is already producing all-time record amounts of oil and gas, and Musk’s fascist-style salute yesterday sure looked like, well, a fascist-style salute?

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LEAD STORIES, THURSDAY'S NYT

White House to Old Staff: Go Home. Don’t Call Us. We’ll Call You

Federal Workers Ordered to Report on Colleagues Over D.E.I. Crackdown

House G.O.P. Floats Medicaid Cuts and More to Finance Trump’s Huge Agenda

Why Is Israel Targeting Jenin, in the West Bank?

People With A.D.H.D. Are Likely to Die Significantly Earlier Than Their Peers, Study Finds

Was That a 900 or 1080 on the Halfpipe? X Games Can Now Ask A.I.

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WHAT'S THE RIGHT WAY TO COVER THE TRUMP PRESIDENCY?

It's clearly a new day in Washington, but will change reach the rest of the country?

by Matt Taibbi

Six and a half years ago, in August of 2018, Facebook announced it was removing 652 pages for “coordinated inauthentic behavior.” This began a series of content “purges” that mostly impacted small indy sites like Reverb Press, The Free Thought Project, Cop Block and Counter Current News. The first announcements came weeks after Infowars head Alex Jones was kicked off YouTube, Apple, Spotify, and Facebook, a seemingly coordinated act universally praised in media.

I thought both stories were major developments. They seemed even more alarming after I learned the “purges” had been conducted in partnership with the Atlantic Council, a huge international think tank Facebook brought in just after CEO Mark Zuckerberg testified, shakily, before two hostile Senate Committees. Donald Trump was president, but this all appeared Senate-directed, and the optics were troubling. Since when did Senators from the Judiciary Committee cheer apparent antitrust violations, in the form of ostensible competitors like Apple and Google teaming up to remove figures like Jones? And when did it become okay to wipe out small media businesses in batches, at the recommendation of a think tank funded by Northrup, Goldman, and USAID?

It was likewise puzzling to find media colleagues universally considered the “purges” a non-story. A few independent outlets raised a fuss, but from specific angles. Reason’s headline was “Libertarian and Police Accountability Pages Deleted in Facebook Purge,” while the World Socialist Web Site went with, “Facebook’s purge of left-wing media: A frontal assault on freedom of speech.” Ironically, as developments unfolded to disclose a broader pattern of digital censorship, the story gained the most traction with Trump Republicans. I didn’t think of it as a political story of any kind, but simply thought such a dramatic new approach to speech had to be leading somewhere dark, and would sooner or later become a central national controversy.

It’s forgotten now, but there was a schism within the Republican Party on the censorship issue. Ted Cruz stepped up, noting he was “no fan of Jones” because he’d “falsely and absurdly” accusing his father of “killing JFK,” but still he demanded to know “who the hell made Facebook the arbiter of political speech?” Jones himself zeroed in on Republicans who were quiet. He called future Secretary of State Marco Rubio a “frat boy” and a “snake.” A fight nearly broke out when Jones pulled an Earl Weaver and made contact with the Florida Senator, who said, “Don’t touch me again, man.” When Jones asked if he would be arrested, Rubio said that wouldn’t be necessary, because “I’ll take care of you myself.” A lot of weird things happen in Capitol hallways, but this was up there.

I thought about all of this Monday, as Zuckerberg occupied “billionaires’ row” at in Donald Trump’s indoor inauguration. Zuck stood in front of Rubio and next to Jeff Bezos, whose Washington Post was a lead media cheerleader for the removal of “conspiracy theorist” Jones, and Sundar Pichai of Google, whose YouTube became the Internet’s most aggressive censor of video content after the Jones incident. Tim Cook of Apple, perhaps the lead figure in the banning of Jones, took a place behind J.D. Vance, Trump, and Melania’s hat. All of these CEOs’ companies were and are Atlantic Council sponsors.

These images led most of the formerly “mainstream” coverage Tuesday, as the anti-Trump enterprise was rebranded. “Threat to democracy” was replaced in DNC circulars with a series of anti-billionaire memes and catchwords, some humorously (ironically? disturbingly?) lifted from Trump himself. I was amused to see “rigging the economy” amid the Democrats’ Tuesday talking points, alongside a number of new phrases that were plugged straight into news copy: billionaire “buddies” with a net worth “over $1.2 trillion,” an “oligarchy” that was “front and center,” supporters left “literally in the cold,” and so on.

I don’t for a moment buy the Democrats’ wailing about a “tech industrial oligarchy,” or the sudden conversion to the church of class politics. That’s just the guilt-ridden bleating of a party that spent a decade playing dominatrix to the same pod of bootlicking tech firms, leaving behind an extensively documented effort to turn the Internet into a giant groupthink machine. Not only are Democrats insincere, they’ll almost certainly be more insufferable than usual in the next months, once the reality of being in the political wilderness kicks in, accelerating a drift toward AOC-style “I don’t endorse Luigi Mangione, but” attention-getting gimmicks. Nonetheless, I have a bad feeling about the “billionaires’ row” scene.…

https://www.racket.news/p/whats-the-right-way-to-cover-the

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JOE BIDEN’S CORRUPT LAST ACT AS PRESIDENT PROVED HIS FAMILY HUSTLE ALWAYS SUPERSEDED THE TRUTH, THE LAW AND THE COUNTRY

by Michael Goodwin

Imagine you are one of those gullible people who believed mentions of a Biden crime family was a Republican fever dream and a sinister plot to smear an honest, devoted father, his surviving son and other relatives.

You refused to watch the congressional hearings showing vast sums of foreign money were deposited in Biden family checking accounts because the New York Times and CNN said there was nothing to see there.

You also believed Joe’s claim that son Hunter’s abandoned laptop full of incriminating evidence was Russian disinformation because most of the media echoed him, but you were later surprised to learn the FBI had authenticated the contents a year earlier.

Still, you were stunned when Hunter was convicted of gun charges and pleaded guilty to federal tax charges under cases brought by Joe’s own Department of Justice.

That gave you some doubts about the family, but you hung on to the slender thread of innocence because Hunter had been a junkie and you believed Joe was an honest public servant and family man.

Besides, Donald Trump was evil and … then came Monday.

That’s when the roof fell in.

Preemptive Pardons

It was bad enough that Trump was being inaugurated, but then you learned that Biden had taken the extraordinary step of issuing sweeping preemptive pardons to five members of his family, on top of the one he had granted Hunter last year.

The beneficiaries were his two brothers, his sister, a brother-in-law and a sister-in-law — the same people who GOP probers said got big money from the family’s scheme to sell the Biden name to foreign nations and companies.

Even though the Times and others predictably defended Biden’s pardons by saying he did it to protect his family against “retaliation” by Trump, it began to dawn on you that you’ve been played for a sucker.

By Tuesday, you could no longer escape the conclusion that Biden and the media had been lying to you all along.

This, of course, was the same White House and media that lied to you to hide Biden’s rapid cognitive decline.

It has you wondering what else they kept from you.

Biden’s pardons for his family and a few others were his final act as president. And although he and Trump rode together to the inaugural ceremony, Trump said Biden never mentioned the pardons.

No doubt Biden was ashamed because he knows it makes the recipients look guilty.

It was also something he had promised he would never do.

Then again, he also had promised he would never pardon Hunter.

In 2020, Biden warned Trump against issuing preemptive family pardons before he left office, telling CNN, “It concerns me in terms of what kind of precedent it sets and how the rest of the world looks [at] us as a nation of laws and justice.”

Trump didn’t do it, but Biden did.

How’s that for a stab in the back on his way out the door?

Shielding His Kin

Elections have consequences, and one consequence of Trump’s victory and the GOP gaining control of Congress is that Biden decided to shield his family from their misconduct or possibly be forced to see them face charges as the facts emerge.

His pardons had nothing to do with fears of any unwarranted retaliation.

Any prosecution over the Biden family’s corrupt scheme would have been justified and he knows it.

It’s also not a coincidence that the pardons Joe issued to his family, starting with Hunter, extend back to 2014.

That’s when Hunter joined the board of Burisma, the corrupt Ukrainian energy company, and big bucks started rolling in.

Moreover, if his family faced charges, Joe might, too, since he benefited from the schemes.

The “Big Guy” wasn’t getting a 10% cut for no reason.

And how exactly did Joe build a multimillion-dollar fortune, complete with expensive real estate?

The former president’s lies about his family rank right up there with his claims that Bidenomics worked, the border was secure and the Afghanistan withdrawal was a success.

Biden has always been a fabulist, with his stories about taking on a thug named Corn Pop and finishing first in his law school class false.

But those tall tales and the plagiarism that ended his first run for president were relatively harmless in the grand scheme.

The family hustle wasn’t innocent or harmless.

It was thoroughly corrupt and we don’t know the full extent of what he did for the foreign governments and businesses in return for the estimated $20 million the family got paid.

He certainly did something for that kind of money.

But what?

Although the pardons take prosecutions off the table, House Republicans should continue their probe into the Biden family.

It is more than a historical footnote to know whether a former president and vice president sold out his country to foreign adversaries.

Americans can handle the truth.

Wanted Don Prosecuted

There’s also another dimension to Biden’s blanket pardons.

As I wrote Monday, his protection for his family, Republican Liz Cheney and other lawmakers who participated in the tainted Jan. 6 probe justify Trump’s pardon of some 1,500 people convicted in the Capitol riot.

Justice cannot be a one-way street.

If it’s going to be partisan-based, as the Jan. 6 committee and its prosecutions were, it forfeits any claim to be impartial.

Ditto for pardons.

What’s good enough for one side is good enough for the other.

To be clear, this is not misconduct the two parties engaged in equally.

Trump’s first-term administration did not carry out any politically tainted prosecutions.

He made it clear he did not want Hillary Clinton charged for her outrageous use of a private server to handle classified materials even though he had promised that during the campaign.

“I don’t want to hurt the Clintons, I really don’t,” Trump said after defeating her.

“She went through a lot and suffered greatly in many different ways.”

Biden took office with the opposite mindset.

He made it clear to aides, who surely made it clear to Attorney General Merrick Garland, that he wanted Trump prosecuted for Jan. 6.

Garland obeyed, with a special prosecutor indicting the former president twice, including in a separate, classified-documents case.

Meanwhile, Democratic state prosecutors in Georgia and New York indicted Trump in criminal cases, and New York’s corrupt courts found him liable in two rigged civil cases.

The clear goal was to knock Trump off the 2024 ballot or at least dirty him up so much that voters would run away.

The plot failed, and the Dems’ dirty play helped Trump attract voters.

But that’s no reason why the books should be closed on the Bidens.

They engaged in a pay-to-play scheme, and Congress and the Department of Justice must find out what they did for all that money.

It’s not about retribution.

It’s about national security.

(New York Post)

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NEW UNITED STATES SECRETARY OF (MENTAL) HEALTH (via Steve Heilig)

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IF “INTERNATIONAL LAW” was a real thing that actually existed, every nation which facilitated the destruction of Gaza would be forced to rebuild it immediately and war crimes tribunals would already be underway.

But international law does not exist in any meaningful way. Domestic laws exist because states have the power to enforce them, but there is no international body which has the power to force the US-centralized empire to stop committing mass atrocities. The reality is that we still live in an ultimately lawless world where tyrants do as they please, and the only rules of any real consequence are the ones which benefit the tyrants.

Domestic laws exist because it would never do for the masses to start killing the rich and powerful and taking back what’s been stolen from them. The ruling tyrants pretend international laws exist in order to justify “humanitarian interventions” and economic sanctions against disobedient governments. In all cases what we’re really seeing is the people with the guns and the bombs dictating how everyone else is allowed to act. That’s not the rule of law, it’s just garden variety totalitarianism with some narrative spin painted overtop it.

We will never live in a world where true justice is allowed to flourish as long as we are dominated by a tyrannical globe-spanning empire. Until then we remain in this wild west environment where the biggest band of thugs with the biggest guns make the rules.

— Caitlin Johnstone

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I, Hatchet Jack, being of sound mind and broke legs, do leaveth my bear rifle to whatever finds it. Lord hope it be a white man. It is a good rifle, and kilt the bear that kilt me. Anyway, I am dead. Yours truly, Hatchet Jack.

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THE BLUE BOUQUET

by Octavio Paz (1949), (translated by Eliot Weinberger)

I woke covered with sweat. Hot steam rose from the newly sprayed, red-brick pavement. A gray-winged butterfly, dazzled, circled the yellow light. I jumped from my hammock and crossed the room barefoot, careful not to step on some scorpion leaving his hideout for a bit of fresh air. I went to the little window and inhaled the country air. One could hear the breathing of the night, feminine, enormous. I returned to the center of the room, emptied water from a jar into a pewter basin, and wet my towel. I rubbed my chest and legs with the soaked cloth, dried myself a little, and, making sure that no bugs were hidden in the folds of my clothes, got dressed. I ran down the green stairway. At the door of the boardinghouse I bumped into the owner, a one-eyed taciturn fellow. Sitting on a wicker stool, he smoked, his eye half closed. In a hoarse voice, he asked:

“Where are you going?”

“To take a walk. It’s too hot.”

“Hmmm—everything’s closed. And no streetlights around here. You’d better stay put.”

I shrugged my shoulders, muttered “back soon,” and plunged into the darkness. At first I couldn’t see anything. I fumbled along the cobblestone street. I lit a cigarette. Suddenly the moon appeared from behind a black cloud, lighting a white wall that was crumbled in places. I stopped, blinded by such whiteness. Wind whistled slightly. I breathed the air of the tamarinds. The night hummed, full of leaves and insects. Crickets bivouacked in the tall grass. I raised my head: up there the stars too had set up camp. I thought that the universe was a vast system of signs, a conversation between giant beings. My actions, the cricket’s saw, the star’s blink, were nothing but pauses and syllables, scattered phrases from that dialogue. What word could it be, of which I was only a syllable? Who speaks the word? To whom is it spoken? I threw my cigarette down on the sidewalk. Falling, it drew a shining curve, shooting out brief sparks like a tiny comet.

I walked a long time, slowly. I felt free, secure between the lips that were at that moment speaking me with such happiness. The night was a garden of eyes. As I crossed the street, I heard someone come out of a doorway. I turned around, but could not distinguish anything. I hurried on. A few moments later I heard the dull shuffle of sandals on the hot stone. I didn’t want to turn around, although I felt the shadow getting closer with every step. I tried to run. I couldn’t. Suddenly I stopped short. Before I could defend myself, I felt the point of a knife in my back, and a sweet voice:

“Don’t move, mister, or I’ll stick it in.”

Without turning, I asked:

“What do you want?”

“Your eyes, mister,” answered the soft, almost painful voice.

“My eyes? What do you want with my eyes? Look, I’ve got some money. Not much, but it’s something. I’ll give you everything I have if you let me go. Don’t kill me.”

“Don’t be afraid, mister. I won’t kill you. I’m only going to take your eyes.”

“But why do you want my eyes?” I asked again.

“My girlfriend has this whim. She wants a bouquet of blue eyes. And around here they’re hard to find.”

“My eyes won’t help you. They’re brown, not blue.”

“Don’t try to fool me, mister. I know very well that yours are blue.”

“Don’t take the eyes of a fellow man. I’ll give you something else.”

“Don’t play saint with me,” he said harshly. “Turn around.”

I turned. He was small and fragile. His palm sombrero covered half his face. In his right hand he held a country machete that shone in the moonlight.

“Let me see your face.”

I struck a match and put it close to my face. The brightness made me squint. He opened my eyelids with a firm hand. He couldn’t see very well. Standing on tiptoe, he stared at me intensely. The flame burned my fingers. I dropped it. A silent moment passed.

“Are you convinced now? They’re not blue.”

“Pretty clever, aren’t you?” he answered. “Let’s see. Light another one.”

I struck another match, and put it near my eyes. Grabbing my sleeve, he ordered:

“Kneel down.”

I knelt. With one hand he grabbed me by the hair, pulling my head back. He bent over me, curious and tense, while his machete slowly dropped until it grazed my eyelids. I closed my eyes.

“Keep them open,” he ordered.

I opened my eyes. The flame burned my lashes. All of a sudden he let me go.

“All right, they’re not blue. Beat it.”

He vanished. I leaned against the wall, my head in my hands. I pulled myself together. Stumbling, falling, trying to get up again. I ran for an hour through the deserted town. When I got to the plaza, I saw the owner of the boardinghouse, still sitting in the front of the door. I went in without saying a word. The next day I left town.

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