CORRECTION: Patrick Ford was mistakenly listed in “Valley Deaths” for 2023 in our January 7 edition. Mr. Ford called last week to inform us that he is quite alive and well and living in Yorkville. Our apologies to Mr. Ford.
BUMMER HOUSE, an update. Jose Aguilar called to say that he was the owner of Boonville’s ugliest property although Mrs. Aguilar is listed as the owner. Mr. Aguilar said we were invading his privacy, that nothing illegal was going on in the high security house, that he was siccing his lawyer on us. (If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard that threat I’d have a Swiss bank account.) Bummer House fairly radiates hostility even without the gun and dog warning signs to keep out, besides being a major eyesore in central Boonville whose other property owners — apart from Mr. Ricard — properly maintain their parcels. Mr. Aguilar’s Bummer House looks like the work of a nut case.
A GREAT BIG “Thank You” to a private local donor for making a few sweet upgrades to our park possible. Stay tuned for the full update available later this week. AV kids will be “dizzy” with excitement! (Elizabeth Jensen)
GRAFT, YES! CORRUPTION, NO!
The Seed and Scion Exchange is revived! Dedicated to the memory of Mark Albert, on February 24, 2024 the 38th Winter Abundance Gathering will happen at the AV Solar Grange from 10 a.m.-3:00 p.m., rain or shine. Come to find local seeds, scions to improve your fruit trees, rootstock to build new trees, and plants to add to your garden to grow your own food. David Ulmer will give a class on fruit tree grafting 101; Jeff Creque will lead an interactive discussion around soil, compost, carbon, and climate; Julia Dakin will discuss local seeds for local food; Matt Drewno will impart the basics of seed saving, and Patrick Schafer will demonstrate advanced grafting techniques. You can also sign up for a hands-on grafting clinic with an experienced grafter. Seed and scion exchange, classes and grafting clinics are all free. Bring your labeled favorite scions, cuttings, and plants to share. Fruit tree rootstock, food, and beverages will be for sale. The event is now brought to you by Anderson Valley Foodshed and The Cloud Forest Institute; donations welcome. For more information and specific details about how to select scion wood go to www.avfoodshed.com/winter-abundance-fair. To volunteer to help at the event contact Lama at aforestperson@gmail.com.
(Barbara Goodell)
TUESDAY’S MENDOCINO COUNTY TODAY, our on-line morning newspaper, was delayed due to a limited power outage in the area of our webmaster’s Navarro home, which PG&E said also affected some 300-plus additional Deepend customers. AVA webmaster Mike Kalantarian had to make the trek from Navarro to Boonville to get the job done, which was fully accomplished about 2pm. We have not heard what caused the outage, but assume it had something to do with trees falling across power lines.
AV FIRE CHIEF Andres Avila came up with creative solution to the vehicle mechanic insurance problem: “Since we flew [advertised] the AV Fire Department mechanic position in October, we received several applications. Local contractors have been challenged by liability insurance coverage for fire apparatus resulting in them not being eligible. Others were not qualified or did not understand the part-time position. On the other hand, we did get a qualified applicant from Boonville who is also an AV Fire Department volunteer. I will be asking the CSD Board to approve accepting Eddie [Pardini] as our replacement mechanic. He will become a Community Services District employee to avoid insurance issues. The overhead impacts plus employee wages were analyzed and resulted in an estimated encumbered cost equivalent to the existing [contractor] mechanic.”
AV HISTORICAL SOCIETY MUSEUM TOUR
The Anderson Valley Historical Society is hosting a Tours and Treats event on Saturday, February 3 from 1:30-4:00pm. “We are ready for company. The cobwebs are removed, the displays dusted and the cookies in the oven.”
Tour on your own or tag along with a local historian.
(Sheri Hansen)
OFFICE SPACE FOR RENT IN BOONVILLE.
Full train car next door to Boont Berry Store. $700/month, plus security deposit. Credit and reference checks required. This is not living space. Call NCRE for more information or to see it. 707-895-3762.
ONE OF THE MANY underappreciated (sob) tasks that your martyred AVA staff performs every week is our Postal Service paperwork, which must be submitted to the Boonville Post office for approval by the eagle-eyed Collette before the paper can be mailed outtahere.
THE SEVEN-PAGE FORM must be accompanied by a weekly check for several hundred dollars to pay postage.
FOR DECADES, The Major, a math whiz, has carefully filled out the forms and submitted them to Postmistress Collette. She checks the math, and enters the data into the Postal Service system. If the exacting Collette finds no errors in The Major's scrupulous accounting, she issues a receipt. If she finds errors, it’s do-over or correction time.
THIS PROCESS is one more tiny example of how much time and effort is spent in this country on accounting, making sure dying businesses like ours don't get away with so much as a dime. Meanwhile, as we know, and apologies for veering off into tiresome rant mode and a statement of the obvious, billions are ripped off by the pirates of American capitalism without so much as a glance from our jive government, a fact made plainer than plain in the too big to fail events of 2008.
A FEW MONTHS AGO, Post Office Central informed us that starting in late January, the forms must be filled out on-line using a fancy new Postal Service “gateway” system called “Postal Wizard.” We have been anxious ever since.
AFTER several incoming phone messages from English language-challenged post office officials somewhere in the Bay Area, The Major, unable to decipher previous instructions, finally found “Cherie” in San Jose who volunteered to help set us up with the new on-line system.
SAN JOSE CHERIE, or ‘mon Cherie’ as we imagined her, sent us an email of annotated screenshots describing the jargon-riddled steps involved in entering the required Boonville mailing info.
PREDICTABLY, The Major soon hit a snag that required additional assistance from his “Cherie.” But she was perpetually “out of the office.” When she was finally in the office she emailed a suggestion that The Major call an 800 number and speak to the Postal Wizard “help desk.”
THE MAJOR picks up the story:
“I called the 1-800 number and a sultry woman’s voice asked me to verify that I was over 18. As the siren’s voice crooned seductively on I realized that the voice didn’t sound much like a postal rep. Either I had the wrong number or the USPS’s ‘help desk’ had been farmed out to an audio-brothel to bring in new postal customers.
“DECIDING that I was much too old for telephonic eroticism, I looked up some acronyms that Post Office Cherie had mentioned in her original email, discovering that the correct help desk number was a 1-877 number, not a 1-800 number. I called the correct number, and after several voice mail wrong turns ended up speaking to a real person named ’Robert’ who was indeed helpful. From here on it is my alleged wizardry versus the Postal Wizard process.”
PRODUCTION of last week's paper iteration of the beloved Boonville weekly was complicated by a prolonged (and unexplained) power outage in Navarro where the steadfast Mike Kalantarian processes our on-line daily post, and prior to that anxiety pill, Renee Lee's page layout program crashed, a recurring problem causing her and us even more anxiety and Renee loss of sleep. (She works three jobs that I know of, accomplishing all of them efficiently with impressive aplomb.) And to think, the Boonville newspaper used to be done in-house and by hand. Then came the cyber-takeover, and didn't you just know in your bones when all these sleek, confident techies welcomed us into the global village that life was for certain going to become a lot more complicated? The cyber-miracle has made our weekly processes much more complicated, much more dependent on mysterious forces, a whole series of them, and many of them unreliable.
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