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Off the Record (April 12, 2023)

DANILLA SANDS was on the Fort Bragg gun hoax case last week: The gun scare at Fort Bragg High School today, Wednesday, April 3rd was a prank called “swatting.” Take it away, Danilla: 

“There have been several false reports of an Active Shooter at different schools across the US today and in the last few months. Most have been unfounded, however response and investigation is still taking place to assure safety of students and staff. This is referred to as a Hoax or Swatting. Some calls are made from within the US while others are made from outside the US. “Swatting is a harassment technique that involves calling 911 and falsely reporting a serious emergency, such as a bomb threat, hostage situation or school shooting, to draw law enforcement — usually a SWAT team – to a particular place. Perpetrators use tactics such as caller ID spoofing to conceal their identity and location. The hoaxes Wednesday in Pennsylvania appeared to come from computer-generated calls, authorities said.”

I’VE GOT TO ASSUME that someone has lead command during these massive local police turnouts.

“Law enforcement officers from the Mendocino County Sheriff’s Office, CHP, State Parks, and Fish & Wildlife arrived and began deploying out in search teams, doing a room by room search assisted by school administrators. Additional resources of multiple ambulances from Adventist Health, Fort Bragg Fire Department, and Fort Bragg Public Works responded to the scene. Multiple air ambulances had been called and six US Coast Guard rescue helicopters were diverted to Fort Bragg should they be needed. The school was thoroughly searched and cleared.”

WOW! Turned out to be a hoax that was national in scope, but it sure scared hell out of everybody except, ahem, the unflappable management of the Boonville schools whose steady admin immediately figured out they were being scammed.

JIM DODGE WRITES:

Just got my AVA of March 29 on April 4 and was arrested by the Dr. Doo cartoon and Warren Buffet quote. 

As someone who spends as time as possible with the Pacific Ocean in order to refresh my humility, I would be willing to bet a running ‘98 RAV against an ounce of beach sand that a low tide, the water moving away from beach, not coming in (high tide), would be more likely to reveal who was swimming naked. That assumes, to make the trope truly accurate, that all the swimmers are stationary rather than following the flow of water. Warren Buffett, as my machinist friends are fond of saying, doesn’t know whether his asshole is bored or punched.

Less glaring, but if still annoying, is his use of “whose,” the genitive (possessive) case of “whom,” which he has evidently mistaken for the contraction “who’s”(who has). As my same machinist friends tell me all the time, I’m woefully prone to pick the fly shit out of the pepper — no doubt true — but I don’t relish eating fly shit on my baked potato or sprinkling botched metaphors on my brain; both contain toxic bacteria that can eventually sicken you to the point you grow a hump and accept slop as a way of life.

NICK DAVILA, last heard from when he was arrested for beating up a previous girlfriend, and has since jumped bail on that one, again distinguished himself during the recent big snows, abandoning his new girlfriend and her mother at their snowbound Spy Rock home. “Going to get help, ladies. Be back in a jiff.” Tabitha Herbschmitt and her mom were subsequently rescued by the Sheriff’s Department, but Tabitha’s ardor for Lover Boy seems undiminished as the couple now resides at Ten Mile. Davila is not only one of the more dangerous persons roaming the North County, he also seems to be the most sexually ambidextrous, having starred in gay porn films prior to his violent relationships with a series of unfortunate women. An all-purpose menace, Davila is said to be supporting himself by dealing fentanyl. Outback people who’ve encountered Davila consider him a 10 on a danger scale of 1-10. We’ve got to assume the guy is a high priority with the Sheriff’s Department. 

Nick Davila

TRUMP, PREDICTIONS from Boonville’s global affairs desk. The recent charges won’t go anywhere, just one more attempt to slay the beast begun by Democrats the day the beast announced for president. I think, though, that Trump is definitely gettable in Georgia where he tried to pervert that state’s electoral system, and he might be gettable for inciting a riot on January 6. He’s already viewed by his Magas cult as more of a martyr than Jesus Christ, the question being if there are enough Magas to propel their god back into the White House. Maybe. If Trump can beat back DeSantis, and the Democrats again foist off the ghostly, cadaverous husk called Joe Biden on mainstream Democrats, Trump’s got a shot at presidential reincarnation. However all this turns out, it’s not going to turn out well for US.

AMERICA MAY BE devolving into low intensity civil war, but it’s gratifying to see ava readers — easily the most literate, best looking newspaper demographic in these disunited states, writing to us with their reading lists. Michael Coad of Willits recommends: ‘Miles,’ autobiography of the bad man of jazz, Miles Davis. (1989)

‘Simple Justice: The History of Brown v Board of Education and Black America’s Struggle for Equality, by Richard Kluger. (2004)

‘This Kind of War: The Classic Korean War History’, by T.R. Ferenbach (1963) - still taught at West Point.

‘Savage Continent: Europe in the Aftermath of WW2’, by Keith Lowe (2012).

Raymond Chandler’s final four novels, The Lady in the Lake, The Little Sister, The Long Goodbye, Playback. Everyman edition (2002).

‘Arlott on Cricket: His Writings on the Game’, ed. by David Rayvern Allen (1985). A better game than baseball.

‘Grant’, by Ron Chernow (2018).

‘Wolf Hall’, by Hilary Mantel.

‘Shame the Devil’, by George Pellecanos, the best kept secret in crime fiction.

Last, and certainly least, ‘Spare’, by Prince Harry. Poor lad, abandoned by his Royal Family with only £100 million in the bank and a 5-bedroom cottage. Spare me.

THE ANGELS third baseman, Anthony Rendon, was recently suspended for five games by Major League Baseball after a video of him in  a physical altercation with a fan in Oakland went viral. The Angels’ slugger was recorded grabbing a fan by his shirt at Oakland’s Coliseum when the fan, Rendon says, called him a “bitch.” Rendon could have ignored the moron, of course, but he didn’t.

HOWSOMEVER, LET THE RECORD SHOW that the Boonville weekly is all the way in support of Rendon. Too many sports fans seem to think because they paid their way in they can scream obscenities at opposing teams. Fan behavior at the old Candlestick bordered on frightening, and spoiled the game for many people who brought their kids to the ballpark. I was very happy to see the management at the new park at 3rd and Townsend refusing to tolerate boorish behavior of any type, from drunks to the idiots who shout out obscenities. Used to be at Candlestick, especially in the leftfield bleachers, young guys showed up just to fight, and the air was blue in every area of the ballpark.

SUPERVISOR WILLIAMS: County of Mendocino & City of Fort Bragg have been awarded one of the ten available Beverage Container Recycling Pilot Projects by Cal EPA/CalRecycle as authorized by Section 14571.9 of the Beverage Container Recycling and Litter Reduction Act (Act). Mobile CRV soon!

MIKE GENIELLA: It is so good to read about the National Trust for Historic Preservation’s recognition of the Wild Gardens at the Grace Hudson Museum in Ukiah. The Hudson’s Wild Gardens were created six years ago to teach visitors about the region’s indigenous plant species that were, and still are, important to the local Pomo people. Featured species include sedge grass, gray willow, redbud, tarweed, manzanita, and California wild rose. When first developed, there were grumblings locally about a ‘weed patch’ that had been developed on the museum grounds. Some people just couldn’t get the innovative, and thoughtful project developed by former Museum Director Sherrie Smith-Ferri, and financed in large part by a $3 million state parks grant awarded to the museum and the city of Ukiah. I am honored to have a deep friendship with Sherrie, a recognized Pomo expert, and member of the Dry Creek Pomo Tribe in Sonoma County. As a member of the museum’s Endowment Board, I am grateful for the state and national recognition Sherrie brought over her long tenure to the Hudson Museum and the Pomo community in general. Thank you.

SATURDAY MORNING, America’s premier nuzzlebum, the egregiously phony Scott Simon of NPR, outdid himself in fake feeling. Either that or he’s nuts. And the NPR demographic has also got to be at least ten degrees off if they think this guy is plausible. Seriously, I’d like to hear from someone, anyone, who thinks there’s nothing wrong with NPR’s Saturday guy. “So, why don’t you just turn him off if he annoys you that much, Bruce?” I could do that, and lots of people have suggested I simply tune him out Saturdays. But I’ve developed a kind of fascination to see how far he can descend into pure fakery before he’s even too much for NPR listeners.

SATURDAY was the topper. Simon was interviewing a colleague who’s written a maudlin book about her son leaving high school (no mention of dad, unsurprisingly) as if she’s the only person in the world who has felt parental pangs at a child leaving the nest.

“Scott Simon: Most parents, mothers especially, have probably gotten a call from a school saying, your child is sick. Come get them. But what if you’re boarding a Black Hawk helicopter in Baghdad? Mary Louise Kelly, our esteemed colleague and co-host of a show called ‘All Things Considered,’ contends with the balance between work and life, anchoring the news and anchoring a family with two teen sons growing up in her new book, ‘It. Goes. So. Fast.: The Year Of No Do-Overs.’ And I’m teary just reading the intro.”

OF COURSE you are, Scott, but a few minutes later both of them were blubbering. They said. Without visual confirmation I’d assume Scott was undoubtedly faking it but Ms. Mawk, the author? A co-conspirator, I’d say.

Simon: Yeah. A lot of this book is becoming aware that this might be the last time something happens…

Kelly: Yeah.

Simon: …When we have children.

Kelly: Yeah.

Simon: Yes, it’s the stuff that maybe you can plan on a calendar, but it’s also you don’t know when the last time they might crawl into your lap.

Kelly: Yeah, or the last time they’re going to call you mama or daddy instead of mom or dad ‘cause they get teased at school. And I think about those moments. I remember - I didn’t actually write about this, but it pops into my head now. I remember the last time I nursed a baby. I breastfed both my sons. And I remember, you know, as Alexander was, you know, crawling off my lap. And I remember so clearly where we were in the house and where the sun was in the windows and thinking this is the last time. And you can let that break your heart, or you can let it lift it up and think, how beautiful is this? How beautiful is this?

Simon: Yeah. Your book — I’m sorry.

(Scott has lowered his voice almost to a whisper, and they both begin to weep, audibly overcome before Scott switches off his bogus tears and refers to their mutual crying jag as two “hardened journalists” overcome with emotion at…)

Simon: This is - the two of us in here - hardened journalists.

(Journalists? Hardened? NPR?)

Kelly: Oh, yeah.

Simon: I think of Emily Webb in ‘Our Town.’ Do any human beings realize life while they live it? Every minute, do they?

(Our Town! Of course!)

Kelly: I don’t know that I have found an answer to that, but I will say that this book is part of my attempt to wrestle with it and sit with it. The nature of the work you and I do, Scott, is wonderful, but it’s ephemeral. You know, you and I do a show, and there are days when we nail it and days when we don’t. And either way, we have to get up and do another one the next time around. And, you know, a show from six months ago might as well be six lifetimes ago. And I wanted to really wrestle with one year in my life, the choices I was making, the deals I was striking with myself and, whether I got it right or wrong, be intentional about it and remember it and let it stick. That’s what this book is.

Simon: Mary Louise Kelly - her book, ‘It. Goes. So. Fast.: The Year Of No Do-Overs.’ Thanks so much for being with us.

Kelly: It does go so fast. Thank you, Scott.

(And this book promo festival of collegial fakery wafted to a close on a muted wave of maudlin tunes.)

“BOB LEE, 43, was stabbed multiple times in the chest early Tuesday morning at about 2:35 a.m. as he walked in the city’s posh Rincon Hill neighborhood, which is in the Southern District and near the San Francisco-Oakland Bay Bridge.”

ONE NEWS OUTLET described the murder of the tech wizard last week as above. That neighborhood is a treeless expanse of high rises almost beneath the Bay Bridge. It’s not a neighborhood in any known sense of neighborhood, but the rents are huge.

AND THEN, a day later, a well-known Frisco man was attacked in broad daylight by street bums when he left his Marina home. He had complained about three guys camped in his mother’s doorway. The Marina is generally free of street people, and street people generally aren’t any more violent than any other cross section of Americans, being preoccupied with their own demons. But camped in Gran’s doorway?

AN ARREST of the Marina attacker was made soon after the assault. Which, given the severity of the injuries suffered by the victim, a man in his late 50s, should amount to attempted murder charges for his attacker. In photos, the street punk is a little larger, seems a little more agile than your average street psycho, but who anticipates being assaulted with a lead pipe in front of his house in a serene neighborhood like the Marina?

AS A FORMER RESIDENT of the city, I remember that the civic machinery started to noticeably break down in the late 1970s, and has gotten steadily more decrepit ever since, as four generations of elected officials have wrung their hands and thrown millions of dollars at services for, at this point, about ten thousand people, of whom about 3500 are housed but require adult attention.

AN ESTIMATED 30-40 percent of Frisco’s unhoused are certifiable, meaning they are totally unable to care for themselves and rightly should be sequestered in a safe, humane hospital setting which, before California lost its way, was where crazy people were confined, and some of them actually regained their senses and were again able to function normally. The non-crazy segment of the street community might as well be nuts. They’re addicted to crippling substances that make them inoperable. And there’s a criminal element that ought to be locked up, but are in and out of jail for years.

IT SEEMS to me that getting 10,000 people off the streets shouldn’t be impossible. Getting rid of the thousands of enablers — the helping professionals — would be harder because they are politically connected, but their, ahem, re-orientation, is a necessary first step, all those people who make handsome livings allegedly providing services for people living in conditions that put them beyond help. 

UKIAH is like a microcosm of SF, a whole bunch of helping pros assisting a small population of people to live in the bushes. But Fort Bragg provides a model of effective strategies at both getting screwed up people real help but also getting them housed, or getting them back to where they came from. Ukiah could do the same, but..... Well, first you have to have some clarity about the prob, and Ukiah, when it got that clarity in the Marbut Report, the helping pros turned out en masse for a whine-in at Ukiah’s subterranean “convention center” to resist doing anything more than what is currently being done, which isn’t exactly nothing, but close.

WHAT’S really sad about all this is that no one expects anything at all to get better, everything from homelessness, inflation, endless war……

ON-LINE COMMENTS OF THE WEEK

[1] Back before Donald Trump ever entered the arena, when I was starting to oppose something I couldn’t even really name, except to call it “creeping authoritarianism” and “social engineering”, I found that the reason I wasn’t making much headway is that a lot of people just loved those things, they loved being a part of that stuff. Whether it was as a willing victim (I’m not doing anything wrong so why should a care about surveillance cameras; I don’t use drugs so why should I care about pee tests) 0r as an eager participant, what I used to describe as “everybody wants to be a narc”.

[2]  I think a lot of people are like me. Frustrated. Deeply frustrated. Why? Because they know things aren’t right, that the life we are living is a fraud. But it is ALL they know. It is all they were taught and, like me, they don’t know what the hell to do about it. 

Vote? We know our election systems a fraud. Contact a Representative or a Senator? Get a canned response for an entirely different issue. Run for office? Get destroyed by lies, slander and libel and who can afford to pay the financial cost. Pay off our debt? Still have to pay property taxes. Go to church? The churches are just as corrupt. Focus on our family? The world is destroying our families through technology. 

I don’t know what the hell to do anymore other than sit back, try to prepare as best as I know how and wait for whatever comes. As I have said before, I will keep the last round in my gun reserved for the very end. No way will I rot in prison, a re-education camp or be eaten alive. I don’t fear death.

[3] That is one galaxy of billions of galaxies, each with billions of stars. It awes me that it all was created by God, from a spot with infinite energy and zero dimensions.

A good statement is,

Before the universe was nothing? Who created the something?

Physics is theorizing some really far out stuff now.

Like the universe developed from a singularity, the infinite energy point in space. The description of a black hole is the same. Hmmm, are we a minuscule outgrowth of a black hole? We cannot see the edge of our universe, it is too old, let alone anything outside, so we do not know what is out there.

There are parallel universes, maybe. Maybe all created from an even bigger mega universe that might be part of an even bigger one ad infinitum.

Going the other way, we are composed of three trillion cells. Maybe each cell is its own universe, with components containing components from even smaller universes.

Just think each one of us might be a universe!

Anyway, an intelligence that we call God is at the helm of all these potential universes, I look his way with intense awe.

[4] Goat meat is kind of an acquired taste and needs some skilled preparation to make it palatable to Westerners, as it tends to taste “goaty.” 

People who raise dairy goats tend to end up with a lot of goat meat in the freezer, because you have to cull most of the bucks–and every time Mama kids, there’s a 50-50 chance you’ll get a buck who, when he’s up to a decent weight, has to go to freezer camp. 

The main reason you get rid of the bucks is because the grown ones are destructive and unmanageable. They are constantly escaping, even with good fencing, and they like to walk on your neighbors’ cars–or impregnate your neighbors’ does. (Your neighbor normally has a controlled breeding program in mind.)

But the meat can be good when it comes out of the smoker, or with the right seasonings, and probably also with barbeque sauce.

I prefer lamb, myself–though some people think that it tastes “goaty.”

[5] I’d like to harken back to a discussion I saw between Chris Hedges and Ralph Nader in 2015, predicting exactly what the Bernie Sanders “progressive” campaign would come to. They were completely prescient as to how things would play out:

They predicted that Bernie would be popular and eclipse all of the other Dem candidates; that Bernie’s popularity would invigorate the Democrat party and fill their coffers with donations (it did; the Bernie hopium was so extensive that old people who couldn’t hardly afford to eat were donating their last dollar to the poor “underdog.”); that Bernie would fill stadiums and inspire millions of voters who strayed from the Dem party back into the fold. 

They also predicted that Bernie would then, having done the job of sheepdogging ex-Dems back into the fold, be tossed aside like an old shoe, and his huge phalanx of followers treated like garbage, as the establishment Democrats stepped in and took over the primaries. They would have figured that many would stay (which indeed happened). It all came true exactly as they said. Even the part where Bernie rolled over like the complacent puppy he has actually always been and gave the entire grift his blessing, right out in the open. 

If people were to look into Bernie Sanders’ actual voting history, they would have seen a major war industry supporter, and a guy who has voted along with establishment Dems his entire career. But he was sold to us as a populist and had good speech writers and knew how to make people fall in love with a kindly but indignant and determined old grampaw who loved the working class and wasn’t gonna take big corporate warmonger bullshit anymore (Insert eye-roll here). 

RFK Jr. may or may not have noble intentions, but he of all people knows how the establishment Dems (now infested and run by neocons AND the deep state) works. So you will be fed a 1.5 years of hopium (rinse and repeat 2008, 2016, 2020) and you will be emotionally manipulated into taking part and arguing online with “opposition” and at the end of it all, the neocons and deep state will install the person that most perfectly suits their needs for their next step in this game. I am guessing that an RFK, Jr. run will do a good job of pulling a lot of ex-Dems who have strayed back into the fold, only to be Bernie Sanderized again. That’s my prediction, anyway. Imagine how desperate the DNC (where all RFK’s donations will go) must be for $$$. If RFK, Jr. really wanted to make an impact, he would run as an independent, given that over 1/3 of the country are not registered as or vote either Democrat or Republican.

[6] On the other hand the slogan , “ What would Jesus do ? “ strikes me as plain comical.. 

I don’t know what ( 10,000 ) Protestant theologies say on the subject, and frankly don’t care. 

But Catholic theology , as I understand it , says Christ was God in a human body. 

And with Mary — there were actually something like two immaculate conceptions — Mary was human , but without the taint of sin of Adam and Eve. 

The ONLY “perfect “ human there ever was. 

So it seems to me that , “ What would Jesus do ? “

Is a bit like asking , What would I do if I were God , except I’m not God, and most likely haven’t the faintest notion what being God is like. 

[7] I had a major crush on a Karen Carpenter lookalike in the 7th and 8th grade who just so happened to play French Horn in the band (I was first chair Trumpet, grades 7-9), for whom this song — SUPERSTAR — always plucked my heart strings. Of course, wouldn’t you know it, she never once gave me the time of day. But that’s what minor chords were invented for. To remind would be young lotharios of the melancholy of unrequited love. It hurt SOOOO bad!

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