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Don’t Grow; Manufacture: Lord Of The Rings

No, I’m not talking about J.R.R. Tolkien’s superlative epic, nor am I talking about the action adventure movies inspired by “The Lord of the Rings.” I’m talking about the crispy, flavored, cannabis-infused rings from Tsumo Snacks that are endorsed by Snoop Dogg, the multi-millionaire rapper and record producer with an empire all his own and a biography titled “The Doggfather.” Like many successful rappers as beloved by white kids as Black kids, Snoop has more money than he can launder or bank legitimately. His financial success suggests that the real money in the cannabis world has not been by growing it but by mass producing it and with slick advertising for the mass market. Snoop’s familiar goofy image appears on both the front and on the back of the package of his cannabis edibles which contains a total of 100 mg of THC or 10 mg per serving and zero CBD. The lordly rings, which come in different colors, are flavored with onion seasoning, garlic powder, turmeric extract, sugar, salt and buttermilk powder. Mouth wateringly delicious, they do not taste like marijuana and the rings aren’t green or flecked with leaf. I can testify that the bite-sized snacks are difficult to resist. They got me stoned the first time I tried them. The more rings I ate the more I was stoned, but just one ring made me feel like a lord in my own head. Some users get the munchies when they eat these snacks. The more you eat the more you want to eat. It’s a vicious cycle. The Tsumo company also offers a “classic cheese” cannabis-infused snack and another, “salsa verde.” There are five additional flavors. The promo reads, “It’s an edible experience for adults with taste.” You might want to find a comfortable armchair, eat a few of Snoop’s snacks and watch one of the three epic fantasy adventure series directed by Peter Jackson, filmed in New Zealand and starring Ian McKellan, Cate Blanchett and others. Then, again you might want to read or reread Tolkien himself without the aid of THC. “The Lord of the Rings” is trippy all on its own, and so are the characters including Frodo and his many endearing pals. Tolkien knew what Snoop may not know: that rings can be harmful, though the words on the back of the package read, “Warning: cancer and reproductive harm” and “use extreme caution.” Maybe Snoop really does know his stuff. He didn't become a multimillionaire blowing smoke.

One Comment

  1. izzy November 12, 2022

    Empty Tsumo Snack bags will become frequently found debris in our many local auto wrecks.

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