Bird’s Eye View

by Turkey Vulture, April 18, 2012

Greetings one and all. If you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin. Having a little dentist work is generally not the most pleasant of experiences but last week I had a check-up, talon polishing, and beak cleaning from the dentist located at the AV Medical Center and was very pleasantly surprised indeed. There was no wait, everyone was very friendly, and the care was very professional. In fact there is no need at all to think you have to go all the way to Ukiah or Santa Rosa for your dentistry work. These guys know what they are doing. If you need a dentist or are looking to change from your present one, then I suggest you sign up with them as your dentist of choice/ This will certainly help to ensure that we continue to have such a facility here in the Valley.

And with this topic in mind, I have managed to come up with some Quotes of the Week on the unusual topic of dentists. First we have these words from advice columnist Ann Landers who said, “Blessed are they who hold lively conversations with the helplessly mute, for they shall be called dentists.” Then there is this classic from an unknown source: “You know, sometimes a man just can't satisfy all of a woman's desires. Which is why God invented dental floss.” And finally we have this comment from Joseph Heller (1923-1999), the American satirical novelist, short story writer, and playwright whose best-known work is Catch-22: “We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist.”

Onward. Public Service Announcements. Calendars and pens at the ready. #130. The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital will return to the Valley tomorrow, Thursday, April 19th when they will be at The AV Farm Supply from 2-3.30pm on each occasion. They have asked me to inform you that you do not have to arrive early and then wait a long time. Everyone showing up at anytime before 3.30pm will be seen. And while you’re there, why not make a purchase or two at the Farm Supply, whose continued support for this service is the main reason we have it on our doorstep? #131. In my absence the monthly Grange Groove has returned to, where else?, The Grange on Highway 128. It’s the 3rd Friday of the month, April 20th, and is a ‘free-dance for all’ from 8pm on, featuring dancing and gyrating to the sounds of DJ Jeanine. This is a family fun evening that is drug and alcohol free — but I’m sure it’s still lots of fun! (I’m kidding!) #132. The next fundraiser in support of the Save Hendy Woods movement will be held this coming Sunday, April 22nd, at Navarro Vineyards on Highway 128. The event, featuring a bbq, Navarro wines, a silent auction, and live music, will go from noon to 3pm with tickets available via All proceeds will go toward keeping Hendy Woods open. For further questions contact Navarro Vineyards at 895-3686. #133. KZYX, our local public radio station, begin their week long Spring Pledge Drive on Sunday April 22nd. Call 895-2324 for further details or to make a pledge. #134. And finally this week, a note that the annual AV Theatre Guild production is just around the corner. Under the directorship of Marcus Magdalena, this year’s production is ‘Cocktails with Mimi,’ ‘a comedy for all ages’ that will feature a fine cast of local thespians. It will run on two consecutive weekends, Friday and Saturday, April 27th/28th and May 4th/5th at The Grange, with the curtain at 7pm on each of those evenings.

Topics and Valley events at The Three-Dot Lounge, Yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley.

…Are there three more friendly and efficient post office workers anywhere? I’m referring to Joe Dresch, Sheila Hibbs, and Ann Carr who continue to work their ‘magic’ at the Philo PO. When I put this question to a few of the 3-Dot regulars it was wholeheartedly agreed that they didn’t think there could be.

…Many regulars were disappointed to hear that the first in this year’s Guest Chef Dinner evenings at the Senior Center had already sold out — three weeks before the event! This special event will be on Friday, April 27th when the guest chef will be Marilyn Pronsolino who will present her famous homemade ravioli from the secret family recipe. Beer and wine is available but I’m afraid none of the 60 tickets remain. The next such evening is on Friday, June 1st when Maple Creek Winery’s Tom Rodrigues will again be the featured Guest Chef. Get your tickets early by calling 895-360. Once again, there will only be sixty sold.

…Bud-break has arrived in the vineyards so now, with frosty nights still occurring, we have to put up with the ridiculously loud ‘helicopter-like flyovers’ that some wineries’ warming fans sound like to anyone living anywhere within a mile or so of such businesses. He could have been pulling my claw, I suppose, but one regular told me that certain wineries are providing a complimentary bottle of wine and free ear-plugs to those who go in and complain that they simply cannot sleep through the noise. That’s quite a kind gesture, although I must say it would be rude of them not to.

…From our 3-Dot regular, The Old Buzzard, comes another in his insightful series — ‘The Approach of the Apocalypse.’ Buzzard reports, “Not for the first time and probably not for the last, the ignorance of some of our politically correct friends has surfaced as they eagerly try to tell the rest of us how to behave and speak. Once and for all let me inform the uninformed that, according to any dictionary you may wish to refer to, the word ‘niggardly’ is an adjective of Scandinavian origin that may be used to describe someone who is ‘not generous or mean.’ Got that? It is not the racial slur that certain self-righteous people immediately assume it to be in their clamor to accuse others of being ignorant. A little enlightenment and social awareness is one thing, but at this point in time I’m quite convinced that the levels of political correctness that this country has risen/ fallen to are as sure a sign as any that the Apocalypse cannot be far off.”

Oh, dear, I suppose I should get my coat and leave. Meanwhile, until we talk again: Please don’t be niggardly and buy me a beer or glass of wine next time you see me out on the town; ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you. Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey.” Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture. PS. Contact me with words of support/abuse through the Letters Page or at PPS. On the sheep, Grace. PPPS. Get well soon, Jamal.

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