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Posts published in “Essays”

Small Town Etiquette

It is a singularly small town talent, and one I lack: The ability to recognize oncoming cars soon enough to decide whether or not to wave. I would like to take this opportunity to apologize…

Upcoming TV Shows

Oh, please, take pity on us poor satirists, for reality keeps nipping at our heels and increasingly overtaking us. There was a recent report that a Sunday School teacher instructed a student to write, "What…

Buying Dope in Humco

The Northern California pot growing culture is very clubby. In Mendocino and Humboldt, it's the growers against not just the cops but also CAMP. This vigilante group, the Campaign Against Marijuana Production, believes that pot…

Who’ll Stop the Reign?

The rains fell so redundantly this spring that I tired of checking the forecast in the newspaper. I took to wearing a green raincoat with plastic overalls on sunny days, sweating as I carried buckets…

What’s the Big Deal about Jayson Blair?

There are so many smellier corpses in the New York Times’s mausoleum, not to mention that larger graveyard of truth known as the Fourth Estate, that it’s hard to get too upset about what Jayson…

Even Bad Dreams End

Everyday chaos slips closer: a scream, a senior center closing, gunshot lead-in on the five o'clock news. Outside construction workers tear up the street while mean little women let their mean little dogs piss on…

The Egg Basket of the World

I spent every night at the Washoe House, playing cribbage with the bartender, between my sophomore and junior years of college, although I was only 20 — too young to drink legally. Tony didn’t care.…

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