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Posts published by “Tommy Wayne Kramer”

New Kid On Block Scolds His Neighbors

I’ve been in North Carolina for a year and figured when I learned how to spell “Chattanooga” I’d be enough of an expert to lecture…

Selling Newspapers, Springing Felons

As a kid I delivered newspapers (Cleveland News, Cleveland Press) and when I got older I worked 80-hour weeks in a ketchup factory. I spent…

Eat, Get Poisoned. Don’t Eat, Starve.

I’ve always thought the fastest way to make a bunch of money is to steal a U.S. Mint printing press and start running off 20s…

The Swap: Butterflies For Ladybugs

We returned to Ukiah for a limited time but long enough for me to fret over my missing Swallowtail butterflies.  For the past 20 uninterrupted…

For Whom The Book Tolls

My reputation as a brooding intellectual blossomed in junior high then flowered in high school.  It was a period in my life when I hauled…

A Land Without Bars

Needing assurance it was still in business, I pushed the Forest Club door open, took a stool and called for a cold can of Coors. …

Let’s Do Jail Different This Time

I remember the county jail when it was on the top floor of the courthouse, and I was on hand to watch the then-new jail…

I Return An Augur

Absent much of the past couple years, I too late realized I’d never taken full advantage of employment opportunities while in Mendocino County. The mistake…

Marginalia, Paragraphs Of

When we saw polar bears skateboarding down the big hill on North Dora Street we knew we were back in time for another glorious spring…

Crawling With Buckeyes

I arrived in Ukiah a long time ago, back when stegosauruses roamed Laytonville, the Dead Sea was merely ill, and no one in Mendocino County…

Escaping Jail Via The Courthouse

Two recent comments, published in opposition to the planned new courthouse, suggest security measures are overrated as there’s no history of breaches or escape attempts…

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