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Posts published by “Bruce McEwen”

Nothing Happened

The majority of local pot pharmas brought in by law enforcement are too young to qualify as part of the back-to-the-land demographic. Those old hippies have already made their bones, paid off their humble country…

Leap Frog In The North Sector

California Highway Patrol Officer Luke Adams was on patrol north of Willits on June 24th of '15 when he saw two vehicles in close proximity traveling at a high rate of speed. Officer Adams hooked a U-turn and lit out in hot pursuit, lights flashing, siren wailing, and was soon pulling a white Chrysler, over. Having stopped one speeder, Adams soon pulled over the second offender. But just as he was getting out to ticket the SUV driver, the Chrysler shot past.

How Are The Children?

Fatter and dumber every year, according to national statistics, but asked in Ukiah the question implies that our community is concerned in the usual way local liberals are concerned — symbolically.

A Power Lunch In Calpella

The caterers had just arrived and were setting out a sumptuous buffet on trestle tables — all organic — gleaming chafing dishes on white table cloths, coolers full of kombucha, baskets of gluten-free breadsticks, bouquets…

The Courtroom As Porn Parlor

After two long weeks of pornography — albeit audio as opposed to visual — the evidence was in and the defendant, an aspiring rap star from San Bernardino, was found guilty of lewd and lascivious…

The Methods Of Meth-Heads

Caught with a bag of go-fast big enough to fuel a rocketship, Mark Johnson of 581 Locust Lane in Willits said the 53 grams stashed in his cool-o secret closet was for his personal use,…

Dolphins In The Tuna Net

A preliminary examination of the catch from a Laytonville pot bust revealed that a white American, Sydney Roach (sic), arrested last December with three Guatemalans, was merely visiting the pot pharm when the cops arrived.…

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