WHILE TRYING TO PEDDLE MY PAPERS in Albion, I was pleased to sight 10 or so hearty specimens of Genus Hippus Americanus, a species I assumed extinct, or now members of the Republican Party. I fought off an impulse to chloroform a couple to pack off to the Smithsonian for the Last Hippie Exhibit. Albion could be, for all I know, some kind of special preserve for the vestiges. One wonders who might turn up next, grizzled prospectors leading pack mules through the streets of Boonville? 1920 flappers in full regalia? The Gas-House Gang? Amelia Earhart? The possibilities are endless. Keep a close eye on the Albion Ridge. Anything’s possible up there.
IT ISN’T NEWS to any number of local parents, but the valley harbors two active child molesters. One makes his headquarters in Philo where he preys on adolescent boys while the other is based in Boonville and specializes in little girls. One of our few effective offices of local government happens to be Children’s Protective Services whose staff, unique in Mendocino County, is competent and effective. Call them at 463-2540 if your kid has been bothered by either of these two creeps. You aren’t doing kids any favor keeping information to yourself. You can help put these geeks away.
RED ALERT WILLITS: The south end of your main drag appears to be coming down with a severe case of Rohnert Parkitis. This disease is no joke, as Ukiah’s State Street reminds us daily.
THIS IS NEITHER HERE NOR THERE, but thank goodness it’s there. Did you happen to hear about the big aesthetic flap in Rohnert Park? Get this: The city fathers determined a portable building too ugly for the public to endure so they decreed that it be covered with stucco. Good one, boys. What’s next, mandatory beer can facades? the solution, of course, to both Rohnert Park and State Street is probably spelled bulldozer.
SPEAKING OF KIDS, Gene Waggoner is certainly due for some special commendation for opening his home, weight room, basketball court, and swimming pool to the younger set. The Mendocino County Youth project, yet another of Lou Delsol’s nebulous projects, should subsidize Waggoner since he functions , along with Keith Squires, as one-half of a two-man recreation program for Valley Kids. Kids need things to do and places to go, especially in these times of massive parental abdication. These two guys provide both for NO money.
ANOTHER ENCOURAGING DEVELOPMENT is the resurgence of Valley wildlife. A local authority tells me there have been bear sightings at the Navarro end of the Valley and the wild turkeys are thriving, as are the tame ones, judging from the substantial turnouts at recent Lions Club meetings.
HEARD AN “EXPERT” from County Mental Health blathering on Coast Radio with Fifth District Blatherer Supreme, Norman deVall, about the dope problem in this area. Everyone’s doing it, proclaimed the authority, meaning, I suppose, everyone ELSE is doing it except for very groovy, hip, together generic Mendocino County liberals who are way too cool for excess of any kind. The “expert” slandered working stiffs by saying that loggers now harvest dope instead of calling the cops or destroying the crop. I’d bet there are far more drugees in the Mendocino County Mental Health Department than there are among loggers, if there were any way of knowing for sure. Working people work. Public employees are mostly parasites, The Editor has spoken and class dismissed.
IF WE CAN TRAIN THE BEARS to eat Winnebagos and middle-aged men who wear their shirts unbuttoned and drape themselves in gold chain, we can turn this country around.
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