2025: The year that tried very diligently to take me out, silence me, and put me in my place. Perceived place, that is. There are some who desire my presence to be diminished, shamed, and ignored. Try as they might, I still stand straight and short, lol, regardless of the methods used to contain my rogue tongue.
This year put me through the wringer of emotional turmoil, questioning my own worth and wondering where I belong. The ultimate goal of bullies and oppressive systems is to control the narrative and squash you into submission. Ssshhhhhhh. More often than not it is an overt bully takedown. Frequently it is a covert operation on the down low that catches you off guard. I have experienced both.
What is interesting is that men often have no shame in cutting you down to size without thinking twice. Women tend to keep the contempt veiled yet polite, with a dash of condescension and superiority. I much prefer the male approach. No holds barred. You know exactly where they stand. Sadly, they often fall short of any ounce of integrity.
I have never been able to be a cool kid or fit in, forever the outcast for non-compliance. I tried multiple times to belong to the system. It would not have me and spat me out like poison. I found conventional ways to be of service within the system.
I was hired as a Case Manager for Manzanita in 2020 and fired for saying “mental health services are inadequate.” I was then set to have my own radio show on KZYX to talk about these issues. I was working with Alicia Bales, but she was fired before I could go on the air. With diligence, I finally secured a meeting with KZYX Operations Manager Rich Culbertson. He was excited about what I had to bring to the table, but once again, the powers that be declined.
Later, a friend encouraged me to apply to the board for NAMI (National Alliance on Mentally Illness). At first I said no, then became delusional enough to think that maybe if I were on the board, things would change. Ignoring my intuition, for the good of all, I tried and was denied access. How was I to know that one of the people deciding my board “destiny” would be the same person who fired me in 2020?
All of this to say, do you recognize the recurring theme? Compliance, control, and silence. I make people and systems uncomfortable. I ask questions no one else will. I expose cracks others are oblivious to. My goal has not changed. Six years later, the focus remains bringing these issues to light, and that will not change in 2026.
Some of the bogus admonitions said to and about me to shut me up:
- Toe the line.
- Always the victim.
- Take your social justice warrior stuff somewhere else. Nobody wants it.
- You keep moving the goalposts.
- You are not worthy.
- Jail provides free housing and support.
- I guarantee perpetual failure through disempowering people.
- Do not speak or ask questions.
That is not even half of the ridiculous efforts to demean and ridicule me so I back down. I do sometimes consider giving up, because isolation is hard. It is the inconvenient consequence of speaking with honest clarity. These statements draw a clear line. I am not entitled to speak or have an opinion, unless it is theirs. God forbid.
The question for 2026 is simple. Will I cross the line?
I will, most definitely. Not out of spite or ill will, but because the illusion needs to be cracked.
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