TRYING TO ENJOY A PEACEFUL HIKE up the Manchester Road the other evening, I was accosted by the leader of the Manchester Road Freedom Fighters. The Manchester Road Freedom Fighters are committed to freedom of speech only for people like themselves. Not content with control over every other publication in the County, the modest and impoverished Anderson Valley Advertiser has become an object of Freedom Fighter wrath. The MRFF say that the Advertiser is derisory and “negative.” “Negative” is the term illiterates apply to any opinion they don’t agree with. I plead guilty to derisory, especially as it applies to the MRFFers’ because I have no respect for them. I will deride them at every opportunity which is provided me each time they speak or act in public.
I HAVE NOTED, as most of you I daresay, that so-called “conservatives” are great ones for dishing it out, but when it comes to taking it they are the biggest cry babies in the country. Since they own most of the country, they don’t take it very often.
ANYWAY, THIS PARTICULAR “conservative,” pulled up behind me as I was walking along Manchester Road minding my own business. He jumped from his truck in a manner that I hoped meant he was going to attack me physically. You will have also noted how violent much “conservative” rhetoric is. This guy threatened to beat me up in a national publication. Last week he said that if he were going around shooting liberals, he would have shot me a long time ago, that kind of talk, confusing word with deed. The “conservatives” always manage to make clear their essential violence and unhappiness.
BUT INSTEAD OF TAKING A SWING at me, the guy said, “It’s time we met.” I stuck out my paw. Hell I’ll shake hands with anybody. “No, no I won’t shake hands.” Among the many deficiencies, count no manners and gross inconsistency. I knew then how Chou En Lai must have felt when Dulles refused to shake hands at their famous meeting. I wonder what Dulles would think now that the Chinese are the good commies?
FROM THERE THE FREEDOM FIGHTER went on to say he functioned as a reserve Mendocino County Sheriff’s Deputy at his own expense, not on the public payroll as I had implied in the newspaper. The Freedom Fighter suggested there was a thin line protecting Boonville from anarchy. I looked over my shoulder to make sure a killer wasn’t sneaking up behind with a dagger ready to plunge into my unsuspecting back. The implication of the Freedom Fighter’s remarks were that I should be grateful for his volunteer sacrifices rather than belittling them. I’m not grateful.
IF GROWN MEN want to pack sidearms and wear cop uniforms on their own time that’s their business. Boonville doesn’t seem to be in any kind of danger of criminal takeover to me. But it does seem to me, in fact, that groups of anonymous fascists like the MCA present a greater threat to public safety than does the County criminal element. County crooks, and crooks generally, except those at the heads of giant corporations, are typically so dumb that they present more of a hazard to themselves than to the order of things. The Freedom Fighter said something about revising “probable cause” laws and got into his truck and roared off. “Conservatives” miss the good old days when cops could jerk anybody, especially ethnic minorities, right off the streets on the basis these “undesirables” were behaving suspiciously.
THE SAME GUY ONCE SAID he would never do business with anyone who advertised in my newspaper. Last week Mike Shapiro sold the Freedom Fighter’s house, perhaps as a result of a real estate ad Mike ran in my paper. All-in-all, it seems like this particular Freedom Fighter has a terminal case of blowharditis. I think most “conservatives” suffer the same affliction.
WHITHER GREENS? It seems clearer all the time that if in the beginning the most serious persons in the County, all twenty of them, had gotten together and drafted a statement of principles, established dues at thirty or forty dollars per month and said, “Here. This is who we are and this is what we stand for. Since this is serious business, it will cost you each month this much to join. Additionally, you will be expected to devote a certain number of hours each month to various tasks that will help us grow financially and in influence. If you don’t agree with the statement of principles or the payment of dues, get the hell out. Come back when politics is serious for you.
ON THE QUESTIONAIRES many potential Greens filled out, about a third said they wouldn’t want to pay dues. Almost all said they could devote a half hour per month to political activity. The commitment these responses indicate is underwhelming. The forces of death and destruction know, of course, that the most alert and certainly the best people are in a state of disarray. Louisiana-Pacific will spray again in the spring. DeGrassi and our most backward agriculturists, the so-called and self-described “stewards of the land,” will continue to drench local produce in poisons of all kinds. While all this is going on, the greens will be having four-hour meetings arguing about process and how to word press releases no local newspaper except this one will print.
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