There are small but growing problems besetting the county’s Planning and Building Services (PBS) department, an agency that enforces rules and regulations around the county.
What’s wrong? An (anonymous) troublemaker has been wallpapering the PBS with formal complaints having to do with things like a tatty roof over an old shed in Laytonville not meeting current code guidelines, or chairs in the farmhouse kitchen not being ADA approved. You get the idea.
The sticking point is that the county is obliged to enforce rules it makes, but the rules can be stupid, and in the crafty paws of a malicious miscreant, the rules can be a springboard to lawsuits or payoffs. Thus, north county farmers and small ranchers are forced to undertake expensive retrofit projects or pay ruinous fines.
Enter County Supervisors, promising to fix everything and make it all better. Whew! Supes to the Rescue!
But are we sure we want the Board of Supervisors in charge of revamping the rules and fine-tuning the regulations that cover so vast an enterprise? Raise your hand if you remember when the supervisors took on the job of regulating legal marijuana.
They fumbled and bumbled the entire program, which could not have been easy when you realize they started with some of the best, most valuable marijuana in the nation. They devised a complicated process for pot growers that guaranteed it would be too difficult and costly to adhere to the guidelines. The program was a tangled mess, the board changed it repeatedly, and within a year or two everyone gave up.
Now let’s imagine the supervisors taking on the PBS rules and clearing up the situation.
DEAR FARMER-TYPE AGRI-PERSON:
Thank you for your input and support! We hope the following guidelines help you in continuing to grow and thrive in Mendocino County. Please be aware of the following regulations, many of which have changed since we passed them:
SECTION 1043.5 ACCOMMODATION REQUIREMENTS: Outbuildings, including trailers, shanties, sheds or shacks intended for the manufacture of Methamphetamine and/or Fentanyl shall have a minimum of one (1) fire extinguisher on said premises.
SPECIAL ADVISORY IV: All owners, operators, trespassers or neighbors of agricultural lands within the county must wear approved safety helmets when operating equipment, traversing lands, dining or brushing teeth.
SECTION SUBSECTION 659 (B) POULTRY MANAGEMENT: Henceforth requires chicken accommodations to provide individual nesting units of no less than 84 square feet per bird and windows allowing a minimum of 12 hours sunshine per day, with a nice view. Structure(s) must withstand earthquakes of up to 90 degrees centigrade, and four gallons per minute on the Richter Scale. Beginning January 1, 2026, Poultry accommodations shall be designed by certified local architects and built by union construction workers.
NOTICE OF MANDATORY LAND TRANSFER(S): All agriculture parcels of 3 or more acres shall provide 1/2 acre minimal curbside easements to Dollar Stores and/ or McDonald’s franchise restaurants, vape shops, et al. to provide increased funding for County Planning and Building Services.
SECTION (Part IVII) CROP MANAGEMENT: Shall require all harvested hay, wheat, straw, banana, oat, marijuana, star thistle, opium poppy, cotton, ketchup and bamboo to be produced under humane, shade grown conditions, and upon harvesting shall be maintained in temperature controlled storage structures covered by water resistant corrugated metal. All doors must have locking mechanisms; said doors shall be attached to frames using bronze hinges obtained from Haschak Family Bronze Fabrication and Poultry Accommodation Facilities, Willits, CA.
SPECIAL ADVISORY: Agricultural lands with existing or planned roads, sidewalks, driveways, paths, trails or parking areas as of January 1, 2026 must conform to CalTrans paving standards, including minimum two lanes with double yellow lines, fog lines, rest areas and posted speed limit signs.
SECTION 107 (D) CONFORMING STANDARDS: Interior furnishings (chairs, tables, counters, stairways) in agricultural land domiciles shall conform to existing ADA standards.
NOTE: Anonymous reporting of violations of Planning and Building Services regulations shall be simplified, and all who notify the agency of violations and/or substandard conditions on agricultural lands shall be provided financial compensation for each violation reported.
(Tom Hine wonders who works harder, politicians making rules for farmers, or farmers trying to follow the rules. TWK is glad he doesn’t know how to read. Halloween stuff is everywhere; Costco had Christmas decorations up in August.)
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