Mendocino County Today: December 27, 2020

Wet Dry Wet | 68 New Cases | Murder Investigation | Cuffey's Cove | No Relief | Pet Leroy | Navarro Lift | Greenfaced | CSD Report | Three Otters | Pot Predicament | B Video | Baptist Church | Ed Notes | Forest Home | Porn Sting | Usal Elk | Brennan Accountable | Yesterday's Catch | Roll Out | Trafficking Weed | Sponsor Americans | Half Licked | Green Thing | Tannenbombs | Marco Radio | Stone Dude

OTHER THAN A CHANCE of light rain in southern Mendocino and Lake counties tonight through Monday morning, dry weather is expected through Tuesday. The next chance for rain and mountain snow will return on Wednesday. (NWS)

RAINFALL over the past two days: Boonville 1.1", Yorkville 2"

68 NEW CASES over the past three days.

CASPAR MURDER ALLEGED

On Thursday, December 24, 2020 shortly after 5:40 AM, officers with the California Highway Patrol were dispatched to a reported traffic collision causing injury in the 15000 block of Caspar Road near the Pacifica Drive intersection in Caspar.

Upon arrival the initial CHP officer discovered the traffic collision involved a 2003 Chevrolet pick-up truck being driven by Shayne Wrede, 35, of Fort Bragg.

Additionally, a 1994 Honda 650 motorcycle was present in the roadway. Through this investigation it was determined the motorcycle was being operated by Mark Hutchinson of Willits.

Preliminary information identified Hutchinson as succumbing to his injuries related to the traffic collision.

Mendocino County Sheriff's Deputies were dispatched to the reported coroner's case. While responding, it was learned that Wrede (who was identified also being on County Parole) reported being the victim of a shooting earlier that morning prior to the traffic collision.

Fort Bragg Police Department Officers were dispatched to an apartment complex on South Street, Fort Bragg, where evidence was located that was consistent with a shooting.

Mendocino County Sheriff's Detectives were summoned and were assisted by an Investigator with the CHP Northern Division Investigative Unit.

Initial information revealed that following the shooting, both Hutchinson and Wrede were involved in an approximate 4.5-mile vehicle chase.

Their vehicles reached speeds of at least 90 MPH through the city of Fort Bragg and the unincorporated southern portion of Fort Bragg before continuing south onto Caspar Road where the subsequent traffic collision occurred resulting in Hutchinson's death.

Investigators with CHP's Multidisciplinary Accident Investigation Team (MAIT) stationed in Redding were requested to respond and assist in determining the circumstances related to the traffic collision.

Following their scene investigation, speaking with eyewitnesses and reviewing surveillance video associated with the shooting/vehicle chase, Sheriff's Detectives developed probable cause to believe Wrede intentionally caused the traffic collision by striking Hutchinson's motorcycle with his 2003 Chevrolet pick-up truck at a high rate of speed while on Caspar Road.

Wrede was arrested for Murder and Violation of Post Release Community Supervision.

Wrede was subsequently booked into the Mendocino County Jail where he was to be held in lieu of $500,000 bail.

Sheriff's Detectives are continuing to follow-up on information and are asking for the public's help.

Sheriff's Detectives are requesting anyone with information related to a shooting incident on South Street in Fort Bragg and the vehicle chase involving a motorcycle and dark colored pick-up truck or the reported traffic collision on Caspar Road to call the Mendocino County Sheriff's Office Tip-Line at 707-234-2100.

Specifically, any residences or businesses with surveillance video facing US Highway 1 between Walnut Street (near Safeway) continuing south to Caspar Road are asked to contact the Sheriff's Office.

The time frame requested is from 5:00 AM to 6:00 AM on December 24, 2020.

The Mendocino County Sheriff's Office would like to thank the following public safety agencies for their assistance during this investigation:

• California Department of Fish and Wildlife
• California Highway Patrol Investigator - Northern Division Investigative Unit
• Fort Bragg Police Department
• Mendocino County District Attorney's Office
• CHP Multidisciplinary Accident Investigation Team

TRUMP on Saturday night refused to sign into law a $900 million coronavirus relief bill. Instead, he tweeted repeated calls for the stimulus checks promised in the bill to be boosted to $2,000 instead of $600. He also blamed China for the financial strain being placed on Americans. His refusal cost 14 million Americans unemployment as two major pandemic-era programs for the unemployed ran out. According to the Brookings Institute, 10 million unemployed workers will lose compensation immediately from Saturday while an additional 3.8 million workers are at risk of losing benefits within weeks. Trump's continued refusal to sign the bill would also lead to the expiration of eviction protections.

UKIAH SHELTER PET OF THE WEEK

Leroy is a mixed breed dog, 7 years old and a fit 47 pounds. We enjoyed spending time with him during his evaluation. Leroy can be quite the talker—and he’s got a lot to tell you! He's so adorable as he gently carries stuffie toys around. Leroy was excited to meet Audi, a fellow Ukiah Shelter guest and Leroy’s new BFF. We think Leroy will thrive in a home with other dogs and children. Leroy may be 7 but he still has ooomph. Daily walks in his new home would be an activity he will surely look forward to. This cutie patootie is eligible for the shelter’s Senior Dog Discount. 

For more on Leroy, go to mendoanimalshelter.com. While there, read about the services, programs, events, and updates regarding covid-19 as it impacts the Mendocino County Shelters in Ukiah and Ft. Bragg. And of course, check out our adoptable dogs and cats! 

Visit us on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/mendoanimalshelter/ 

For information about adoptions please call 707-467-6453. The shelters will close at 1 pm on New Year's Eve day, and all day January 1. 

HUGH McAVOY WRITES:

I read the bit in Valley People this week wondering about what was going on at 301 Wendling St. in Navarro. The Contractor is McAvoy Construction (that’s me). The building and property were bought by out-of-the-area folks with plans to remodel it for family use. 

Retrofit foundation work is a specialty for us and that’s how we got the call. Initially the building was sitting on the ground and actually the back end was below grade. 

Once we got it off the ground and up in the air the construction of the new foundation could begin. 

The final elevation is a bit higher than code requires but I believe the more air and light in the sub area the healthier it is. 

When I first looked at the building there definitely was a sense of history present, and as the job went along, locals would stop by and share bits and pieces. We are close to being done with our part and the owners will take it the rest of the way. I have read some history of the town of Wendling and would love to know what part this building played. 

Best,

Hugh McAvoy, McAvoy Construction

P.S. The inspection went well.

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LOCAL HISTORIAN JEFF BURROUGHS SPECULATES:

Re: House under construction in Navarro

From what I can piece together using the documented and the anecdotal information I have gathered over the years, I can honestly say that particular area of Wendling/Navarro is a bit of a mystery. Though it is clearly identified as an integral part of an official land survey done in the early 1900s, it is only listed as one of many town lots. The land survey was done in an effort to develop the area for a future town, which ultimately turned out to be a bigger idea than reality. 

Most of the known history of the area commonly known as Wendling/Navarro has focused on two specific places which were the lumber mill itself and the string of Hotels that were grouped together in the area now occupied by the Navarro Store. 

The mill closed its doors around 1925 but the railroad continued to be used by a few independent contractors for various reasons until 1929 when the owners, Albion Railroad/Southern Pacific, took back all of its rolling stock and hired a company from San Francisco to salvage the steel rails on the main line and all of the subsequent spurs. Without a operating mill or a railway connection to the Albion Wharf the small town of Wendling/Navarro, having never reached its full potential, was simply abandoned. However a few hardy souls did stay on, either simply unwilling to give up, or in an attempt to eke a small living from this once bustling community. 

In the late 1940s and 50s, when Americans hit the road in their new automobiles traveling across the country searching for new places to see and stay, the town had a small resurgence. And it was during this time that I believe that our "mystery building" comes into existence. I believe it was probably an old existing building, probably a small residence, that was remodeled into a restaurant. 

What its name was or how long it served in business I haven't a clue but I do know in my heart that it must have been a wonderful dream. A dream, possibly, of some little family, to own and run their own business, a roadside restaurant graciously serving the public. 

If walls could talk just imagine the stories they could tell, all the laughs, the celebrations, all of the romantic moments, all wrapped up in the warming comfort of a delicious home-cooked meal. Just think of how much life was lived within those walls of wood and paint and nails. 

Now just distant voices of a long ago era and without an audience to listen, its memories, its history have all been sadly lost to time. 

FROM THE MINUTES of the December 16, Anderson Valley Community Services Board meeting:

Clean Water: A report about the Fairgrounds Meeting on Dec 14th was given. The Engineer Dave Coleman answered many questions; some specific to the Fairgrounds site and some about the project more generally. The compensation figure of $70K per acre was given so that they [the Fair Board] were aware of the potential amount the State would pay to the County for the site. The Fair Board voted (all ayes – except two abstentions by Eva Johnson and Derek Wyant as their property was still on the EIR list until the Board picks a preferred site): “To not accept the project with the information we have at this time.” The Zoom transcript from the Waste panel discussion on 12/3/20 was discussed. The ADU [Accessory Dwelling Unit] program was discussed including the County’s offer of pre-designed and engineered ADU plans. Director Christen shared a Power Point presentation that will help us organize our approach when doing presentations going forward. Supervisor Ted Williams suggested interacting with individual Supervisors so that they understood what our project was about as well as getting on the March agenda to do a presentation. However, we need to know if we will be pursuing the Fairgrounds site as the County is not involved unless we have the Fairgrounds as our preferred site.

“Drinking Water: Engineer Jack Locey is still working on all the easement documents. CSD Attorney Phil Williams is reviewing them. Planning Grants are both running very low on available funds. We have started talking to USDA [Federaly Department of Agriculture] about funding shortfalls. The USDA is primarily a loan program, which we are not interested in. However, they can fund $30K to each project for specific items such as soil studies, separating the CEQAs [California Environmental Quality Act which had been combined for both Clean Water and Drinking Water], rate study, etc. Quinn Donovan from USDA and the engineers are exploring this and we will bring this up as an agenda item next month if we are applying for USDA funds. We are also talking with the State about amending the Planning Grants to increase funds.”

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CSD BOARD CHAIR VALERIE HANELT WRITES:

“A response from the Environmental Health officer: The rumor about a Municipal Waste Water system triggering code enforcement on parcel owners is untrue.”

---

“It has come to our attention that a rumor is going around that incorrectly states that parcels that hook up to a possible Municipal Sewer Project in Boonville will be required to bring their homes and buildings up to code. The following is a statement by the Mendocino Building and Planning Dept on Dec 18, 2020:

Dear Ms. Hanelt,

Environmental Health will NOT be "forcing them to bring their homes and buildings up to code". Environmental Health would assist the AVCSD in any way to implement the water and sewer system. The AVCSD would be considered a special district and have authority to operate free of County Environmental Health because the State Regional Water Quality Control Board would be the permitting authority over both water and sewer systems. At best the County EH would be involved in the destruction of any septic tanks that the district decides to not utilize. The standard operating procedure to abandon a leach field is to destroy the septic tank. The leaching field is left in place and not excavated. 

While Environmental Health would not require any upgrades to existing homes or structures we would assist property owners who would like to expand their homes or business or build new homes and structures that were previously not feasible due to the existing water and septic system constraints. The creation of the water & sewer district will expand the opportunities for development on each parcel that connects to it. Residences will have the ability to add bedrooms and accessory dwelling units will be allowed on parcels that were previously limited by Environmental Health requirements.

Respectfully,

Marlayna Bourbonnais Duley, REHS

Land Use Program Manager

Environmental Health Mendocino County”

MENDO’S CANNABIS AD HOC Committee consisting of Supervisors John Haschak and Ted Williams met on Wednesday, Dec. 16 in their continuing seemingly impossible quest to not only untangle the current 1100 or so applicants (aka “the queue”), but figure out how to get Mendo cultivators legal under the state’s stringent guidelines by the end of 2021 which require a “sensitive species review,” and an individual “CEQA” (i.e., Environmental Impact Report) report on each application. The state pot bureaucrats have said they might consider extending the Dec. 2021 deadline after which pot growers will need a state permit to grow legally and the County permits will expire and will not qualify. But the State bureaucrats have also told Mendo that they expect Mendo to make progress in bringing their applicants up to state requirements in the mean time, both current and new applicants. That’s proving to be very difficult and expensive and time consuming. Not only is the paperwork for the current applicants in disarray, but even if it’s repaired and made complete, there’s still not much chance that a permit will be issued.

Here’s Supervisor Williams, as usual bluntly bleak, about the current pot permit situation:

“I have heard that the staff estimate is that if we get everything in [Ed note: So far the response rate on receiving documentation requested is in about 10-20%], we might be able to process maybe 10 or 15% of the 1100 in the queue. That's part of why I'm not terribly excited about Phase 1. Most folks are going to end up back in the illicit market or shut down. Staff walked us through that pilot program of 20 that we did. There's all sorts of reasons. Drying sheds built without permits, plot plans not matching, Ag ponds put in without permits, electrical work done-no permit, permits not finalized, clearing on satellite images shifting from one year to the next and getting larger… On any one of those issues, if a planner writes it up and submits it to the state they are going to point out that this is not in line with our own ordinance. Arguably it's not. It creates a predicament. We can't expect a planner to sign any site-specific CEQA document if it's not complete or if they don't think it's in line with our county permit. It surprised me just how many out of the random sampling are seemingly not in line with County ordinance. It's open for discussion as to whether some areas of that ordinance are just too stringent and we are holding people up. But there's also elements of where cannabis cultivation is like agriculture and one year you plant in one area and do the marketing and then weather conditions and rotating crops and so forth cause you to decide to move the greenhouse or modify the greenhouse or change the garden slightly. If you filed two or three years ago your application may not match what's on the ground now. Of course the satellite images are going to be used to match up and if it doesn't match your previous application or our ordinance your application fails. That's part of why we are requesting data. Part of it is because the County lost it. The County has lost some paperwork for various reasons. Some of the incoming data went to an e-mail for an Ag employee who is no longer with the County. Trying to find that in an old email box somewhere and cross-reference it takes more time than asking for that again. So the county likely has lost some information, but it's a matter of after two or three years in the pipeline cultivators had changed. And it's completely understandable why they changed. It's probably how they worked since they started cultivating. It's not exactly the same set up every year. But unfortunately for CEQA purposes the documentation needs to match what's on the ground.”

AS WE HAVE ASKED BEFORE, can anyone imagine what would happen if even part of this was required for grape growing? Which arguably has more impact on the environment given the much large acreages, pesticides applied, water usage, etc.? Answer: Never happen. Just over ten years ago, the Supervisors overrode their own planning commission to declare that grape growers didn’t even have to show proof of water availability for NEW vineyards, much less the ones now in place.

PS. The pot permit situation has become so bad that Supervisor Haschak said that he’s had to consult with, among several others, 34-year old Nicole Elliott, Governor Newsom’s new “Senior Advisor on Cannabis,” a fancy Sacramento position which pays a base salary of $150k plus generous state benefits. 

Supervisor Haschak didn’t bother to mention whatever wonderful advice the Governor’s lovely young advisor offered to help Mendo out of its predicament. 

Oh, and Ms. Elliott happens to be the wife of — guess who? — Jason Elliott, Director of Executive Branch Affairs, for the Governor. Previously, Ms. Elliott was cannabis czar for the City of San Francisco. Before that she held various silly non-cannabis administrative positions in San Francisco like “Director of Appointments,” and “Deputy Board Liaison” which of course qualified her as the Governor’s top cannabis advisor.

THE MEASURE B OVERSIGHT COMMITTEE met that same Wednesday and this month they got the video working. 

We’ll have a few comments on that Measure B committee meeting soon, especially concerning a suspicious secrecy that seems to have crept into the process of hiring a Crisis Residential Treatment contractor…

ED NOTES

RECOMMENDING histories in a country of amnesiacs is probably a waste of time, but if you've never at least dipped into “The History of the Great American Fortunes” by Gustavus Myers, reprinted many times since its inaugural publication in 1907, and still available in paperback, well, hell, you don't know the half of capitalism's noble beginnings. Gus himself was born into poverty and had to survive in the jungles of free enterprise from an early age, which got him to thinking about the Big Picture, hence his marvelous book on a theme summarized by Balzac as “Behind every fortune lies a great crime.” 

TAKE IT AWAY, GUS: "Living in a more advanced time, in an environment adjusted to bring out the best instead of the worst, Astor [John Jacob] and his henchmen might have been men of supreme goodness and gentleness. As it was, they lived at a period when it was considered the highest, most astute and successful form of trade to resort to any means, however base, to secure profits… Like all other propertied interests, Astor's company regarded the law as a thing to be rigorously invoked against the poor, the helpless and defenseless, but as not to be considered when it stood in the way of the claims, designs and pretensions of property.”

ASTOR made his first pile swindling Indians out of animal hides by trading them whiskey for pelts, which made the swindling even easier. The net effect of the trade was to destroy both Indians and whole species of natural life, but Astor is commemorated in Astoria, Oregon by a great tower with no mention, of course, how he made his fortune. 

(ASTORIA also had a direct impact on Fort Bragg and other Northcoast seaports where immigrant Finns settled because Astoria was where both red Finns and white Finns published competing newspapers, importing their editors from the old country. These rival newspapers were distributed up and down the coast from Astoria to San Francisco. The red Finns, I believe, built Eagle's Hall in FB, and please correct me if I've got my building pedigrees wrong here.)

FAST FORWARD to imploding 2020 America where a recent Rasmussen poll reveals that nearly 60 percent of US don't like Ocasio-Cortez, that a majority of US prefer a free-market economic system over a socialist economic system, although it's a rare American who knows socialism from swahili. Ocasio-Cortez, a democratic socialist, was seen as “very unfavorable” by 38 percent of the 1000 respondents, none of them presumably interviewed in a food bank line. Another 20 per cent said they have a “somewhat unfavorable” impression of the Democrat. Only 18 percent said they have a “very favorable” view of AOC, while 19 per cent said she is “somewhat favorable.” About 15% (the honest responders) said they are not sure, meaning they were honest enough to admit they hadn't thought about the kid one way or another.

MYSELF, rigged polls to the contrary, I think AOC is absolutely boffo, mondo boffo, in fact, whose modest suggestions for basic social guarantees would make America a much happier, much less violent country (Between us Mendos, I'll say I think Ilhan Omar of the so-called left congressional squad, is a bit of a nut, but as Orwell (a socialist) pointed out, the mere mention of socialism the nuts come running.) 

TO BE HOSTILE to Ocasio-Cortez means you think single-payer Medicare for All, tuition-free public college and trade school, a federal job guarantee, the cancellation of all $1.6 trillion of outstanding student debt, guaranteed family leave, ending the privatization of prisons, enacting gun-control policies, and an energy policy relying on 100% renewables are all bad ideas. If you're the average person you're also against yourself, and probably against the only kind of social welfare programs that will save this sucker from sinking beyond all possibility of salvage.

DELAY of the meager stimulus bill is the usual demonstration by secure elected people to haggle over meager help for the insecure. The party of the people, the Democrats, har de har, were/are ready to approve it with 600 bucks for the insecure while even Trump held out for two thousand each to the millions of desperate, the whole pathetic show a perfect example of bipartisan Let Them Eat Cake.

"BE WELL AND STAY SAFE." Am I the only person irritated by this now-common valediction? Looking at the sentiment objectively it's a naive assumption that wellness and safety are choices, which they are only up to a point, but wellness and safety are, at bottom, pure luck. I mean you can exercise, eat right, give and receive nothing but good vibes, and still be standing in line at the Safeway checkout counter when you get a stray bullet between the eyes from a gun battle out in the parking lot.

GESTALT n. Something such as a structure or experience that, when considered as a whole, has qualities that are more than the total of all its parts. Boiled down, gestalt is a handy term for “everything else.” My flash of insight this morning is that most Trumpers aren't so much in thrall to the orange blimp as they are opposed to everything else that they see as gone terribly wrong in this country, and that Trump shares this feeling and represents them, the deplorables. As a lib lab myself, every time I see Newsom or Pelosi or the three Demo amigos who allegedly represent the Northcoast at the higher levels of government, I'm as repulsed and as despairing as any deplorable, the diff being that I think the only practical hope we have for a more or less United States is via socialist programs of the type enacted by Roosevelt the last time the country was in a jam. It's a much larger jam this time with no Roosevelt in sight, but AOC is correct about what's needed. If Trump had the ability of his soul bro, Herr Schickelgruber, and waddled out with AOC's program, he'd be a much more of a menace than he is.

ANOTHER CREEP IN AN OCEAN OF THEM

On Wednesday, December 23, 2020 at approximately 9:59 P.M. Deputies from the Mendocino County Sheriff's Office contacted Jose Enevi Zarza-Quintero, 37, of Ukiah, in the 1500 block of South State Street in Ukiah.

Quintero had an active Mendocino County Superior Court Arrest Warrant issued for his arrest for Possession of Child Pornography. Deputies confirmed the warrant with Mendocino County Sheriff's Office Dispatch and arrested Quintero without incident.

Quintero was subsequently booked into the Mendocino County Jail where he was to be held in lieu of $20,000 bail.

ACCOUNTABILITY

Editor: 

The Press Democrat published an article about the attempted killing of a family dog by its owner and the final decision on the case, which amounted to a slap on the wrist (“Woman who shot dog gets no jail time,” Dec. 18). 

Mendocino Superior Court Judge Clayton Brennan chose to ignore the use of a gun in the commission of a violent crime and the recommendations of the District Attorney and the Probation Department. His decision may be political retribution against the District Attorney for prior conflicts. Brennan may believe his opinion is far wiser than the vast majority of advisers and citizens who gave him recommendations. A judge isn’t a despot or a god who can grant absolution but an elected official who must weigh the scales of justice. Brennan failed in this case and must be held accountable.

Claude Rosenthal

Santa Rosa

CATCH OF THE DAY, December 25, 2020

TARRELL APPLON, San Francisco/Ukiah. Controlled substance, paraphernalia, false ID, parole violation.

BUFFY LYONS, Ukiah. Domestic battery, probation revocation.

SUZANNA PEREZ, Boonville. DUI, controlled substance.

OLIVIA RIOS-FABER, Point Arena. Disorderly conduct-alcohol.

LAURA SINCLAIR, Fort Bragg. Battery with serious injury.

TOBIN STEISKAL, Fortuna/Ukiah. Disorderly conduct-alcohol.

TRUMP: THE ROLL OUT

https://twitter.com/PaulLeeTeeks/status/1337502815464263681?s=20

OTHER PEOPLES' WEED: The Role of the Go-Between

by Joe Munson as told to Jonah Raskin

If you think of the weed world as a chair with four legs then the legs are the grower, the dealer, the go-between and the consumer. Each plays an essential part, though the go-between or middleman is often not accorded respect. I understand. Most days of the week I would hate to have to sell someone else’s weed to pay the bills. Why is that? I suppose it’s because I don’t like to be the go-between. It’s a near-impossible role to play, though I have played it and have done a pretty good job doing so. Some growers think the go-between doesn't provide a necessary task and don't want to pay him or her a percentage. Of course, the grower is a capitalist and might underpay the workers, whether they labor indoors or outdoors. 

In the old days—before the State of California moved in and tried to regulate and tax—the buyer would snap up whatever the go-between offered. Now buyers want to window shop and cherry-pick. They want the top quality stuff first and the lesser quality product sometime later. These days, they buy in stages.

Pot farmers and pot traffickers are often different kinds of people and have trouble communicating clearly. The best farmers live close to the soil. They're rooted and hardworking. The best traffickers can be at home when they're on the road or off the road and can hold a poker face under stress. 

Buyers want to haggle about money and rarely if ever accept the asking price. That’s the American way, the Arab way and the Chinese way. All around the world, buyers and sellers negotiate price. Buyers are fussy. So are sellers and consumers. If the seller wants to seal a deal, the terpenes, and the look of the weed have to be just right. In the weed market, some want humongous buds. Others don't want any stem. Some want purple flowers, others want emerald green. Buyers are looking for faults. If there are any they’ll find them.

Usually the seller has an inflated and a distorted view of his or her product. The seller will argue that his or her weed is better than everyone else’s, grown with more loving care than anyone else’s. Just like other salesmen, pot dealers do PR.

When I’ve been the man in the middle I have tried to adhere to certain principles or rules. I pass them on here to inform the public about a little-known world and in the hope that deals will go smoothly and with a minimum of stress.

Buying and selling weed has provided employment and income for many a go-between. 

I have usually not smoked and been stoned when I was making a dope deal or delivery. I’d be up the night before, thinking about the journey and making sure everything on my vehicle was in good working order. I’d leave home at 6:30 a.m., blend into traffic. Only after I arrived at my destination would I light up a joint. Then I’d do an Oaky dance to celebrate the money I’d made. 

Here are some of the basics to minimize exposure and keep you out of the clink. They are not in order of importance. The go-between is involved in a high-stakes, high-risk activity that can be very emotional.

1. Try you best to make sure all interested parties can play their part. 
2. Check product for mold, rot, seeds. Don't sell anything that's sub-standard.
3. Weigh accurately and package cleanly, attractively and safely.
4. Select a vehicle in which everything works and all papers are up-to-date. Don't be a moving target. Consider a second vehicle as a decoy.
5. Pack a lunch. Pee. Fill gas tank.
6. Drive solo. Don't speed. Follow traffic rules.
7. Park discreetly at the destination. Be as invisible as possible.
8. Take time negotiating the deal and communicating clearly. 
9. Shake hands!
10. Select the best person to transport the product and make the delivery. That means someone who can pass scrutiny before and during a stop by law enforcement. 
11. Be aware of racial profiling. Keep your cool and act appropriately. Remember Big Brother is watching. 
12. Have the name and the phone number of a bail bondsman and a lawyer you can call and count on. Memorize the numbers.
13. At the place of origin, load product carefully into the vehicle used to transport the product.
14. Carry no guns or weapons. Don't deal with guys who have guns.
15. Bring the parties together so they’re not in harm’s way, whether from cops, thieves or not-so-innocent bystanders.
16. Adhere to the terms of the agreement, including the cut or fee to the go-between.
17. Count the money and weigh the weed before they change hands. Make sure money isn’t counterfeit.
18. Wear a smile and have others smiling, too.
19. Count your blessings.

(Joe Munson and Jonah Raskin are the authors of Joe Munson’s Adventures and Misadventures.)

For $600 a year or only $1.64 a day, you too can sponsor an American.

— YS (@NYinLA2121) December 26, 2020

IF AT EIGHTY you’re not a cripple or an invalid, if you have your health, if you still enjoy a good walk, a good meal (with all the trimmings), if you can sleep without first taking a pill, if birds and flowers, mountains and sea still inspire you, you are a most fortunate individual and you should get down on your knees morning and night and thank the good Lord for his savin’ and keepin’ power. If you are young in years but already weary in spirit, already on the way to becoming an automaton, it may do you good to say to your boss — under your breath, of course — “Fuck you, Jack! You don’t own me!” … If you can fall in love again and again, if you can forgive your parents for the crime of bringing you into the world, if you are content to get nowhere, just take each day as it comes, if you can forgive as well as forget, if you can keep from growing sour, surly, bitter and cynical, man you’ve got it half licked. 

— Henry Miller

BEING GREEN

Checking out at the store, the young cashier suggested to the older woman, that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren't good for the environment.

The woman apologized and explained, "We didn't have this green thing back in my earlier days."

The young clerk responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment f or future generations."

She was right -- our generation didn't have the green thing in its day.

Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were truly recycled.

But we didn't have the green thing back in our day.

Grocery stores bagged our groceries in brown paper bags, that we reused for numerous things, most memorable besides household garbage bags, was the use of brown paper bags as book covers for our schoolbooks. This was to ensure that public property, (the books provided for our use by the school) was not defaced by our scribblings. Then we were able to personalize our books on the brown paper bags.

But too bad we didn't do the green thing back then.

We walked up stairs, because we didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks.

But she was right. We didn't have the green thing in our day.

Back then, we washed the baby's diapers because we didn't have the throwaway kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy-gobbling machine burning up 220 volts -- wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our early days. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing.

But that young lady is right; we didn't have the green thing back in our day.

Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana. In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded up old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.

But she's right; we didn't have the green thing back then.

We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.

But we didn't have the green thing back then.

Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service. We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 23,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest burger joint.

But isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn't have the green thing back then?

Please forward this on to another selfish old person who needs a lesson in conservation from a smartass young person. 

— Richard White

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• 

• 

A LITTLE MORE GAUZE.

"Put your finger on this knot, please." "All right, but don't do anything funny." "I'm not doing anything funny, I'm sewing up the patient. It's you who starts these things." "All right, all right." "Oh, I do love you so." "Please. Please let go of my finger. I knew you were going to do something like this." "Don't pull back! I do, I love you, I love you." "Let go of my finger." "Don't pull back, you're pulling the stitches." 

The recording of last night's (2020-12-25) Memo of the Air: Good Night Radio show on KNYO-LP Fort Bragg is right here: https://tinyurl.com/KNYO-MOTA-0416

The show has everything for Xmas and its aftermath that your quarantine bubble will ever need. Plus yodeling cowboy singers, the best. Real cowboys, not Sears cowboys. 

Further, at https://MemoOfTheAir.wordpress.com you'll find a fresh batch of dozens of links to not necessarily radio-useful but nonetheless worthwhile educational items I set aside for you while gathering the show together. Such as: 

Nichols and May — More gauze. Part of what I like about this is imagining Ferren and Jill Taylor doing the sketch, just right on top of the microphone, their cheeks touching. (Hi, Ferren! Hi, Jill!) 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ox2PhldUNC8

You want to start crying from watching young people be great at something? Here, knock yourself out. 

https://theawesomer.com/figure-skating-to-metallica/603990/

A sweet little true story by Weird Al Yankovic. It’s not ruined at all by noticing that his childhood crush looked just like his mother; there’s nothing wrong with that, people look like other people; sometimes a cigar is only a cigar. 

https://www.facebook.com/weirdal/posts/10158652817531005

And Penny Can. I don’t know who these people are or what the show they’re in is. Maybe one of them is named Penny Can. That would make sense. Eventually she’d snap and murder them all and they’d be like, “What? Why? We thought you liked it,” and expire. (If I had a quarter for every time I told my name to someone at a counter and some kid behind him at the taco assembly station yelled POLO! and they all started laughing like schoolkids laugh at the skinniest or fattest boy in the shower room, I could wash my clothes any time I wanted to. I can anyway, but I wouldn’t have to go to the store first and get quarters; I could just scoop them out of a bag by the door. No jury in the world would convict Penny Can.) https://boingboing.net/2020/12/21/im-back-to-playing-bobby-cobbs-penny-can.html 

p.s. If you want me to read on the radio something that you've written, just email it to me and that's what I'll do on the very next Memo of the Air. That's what I'm here for. 

Marco McClean, memo@mcn.org, https://MemoOfTheAir.wordpress.com