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by Turkey Vulture, January 9, 2013
Greetings one and all. If you are sitting comfortably I shall begin… First, a big Thank You to all those readers who sent Holiday and New Year greetings to Hummingbird and myself. I have noted your names and added them to the list of benefactors upon my demise. Although you should be aware that the frozen skunk carcass is already spoken for.
Looking back, perhaps I was somewhat remiss (and perhaps hungover) when I failed to mention the issue of New Year’s Resolutions in last week’s Quote of the Week section of the column. However, I have the excuse that instead I offered quotes that were concerned with the passing of loved ones, far more important. Anyway, for those of you still persevering with such things, the oversight will now be addressed. First up it’s the incredibly influential American Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790), one of the Founding Fathers of this country and a noted polymath, author, printer, political theorist, politician, postmaster, scientist, musician, inventor, satirist, civic activist, statesman, and diplomat — and the face on the all-important $100 bill! He is also the fellow who said, “Resolve to perform what you ought. Perform without fail what you resolve.” Excellent; good stuff, Ben. Then we have this observation from Francois de la Rochefoucauld (1613-1680), a Frenchman but nevertheless an undoubtedly gifted author of maxims and memoirs whose view of human conduct has been summed up by the words “gently cynical.” He is very wise and came up with this shrewd observation, “We have more ability than will power, and it is often an excuse to ourselves that we imagine that things are impossible.” I hope these help in your ‘resolutionary’ efforts. Good luck.
Public Service Announcements. Calendars and pens at the ready. #343. Useful numbers at this time of year for road conditions and power outages: 1-800-gas-road (427-7623); and for power problems and outages call 1-800-PGE (743-5000). #344. The AV Unity Club will present a special gathering for Valley folks on Thursday, Jan 10 at the Fairgrounds in Boonville. There will be a lunch served at noon followed by a discussion topic entitled ‘Volunteerism Runs the Valley.’ Should be quite a crowd. #345. The Vets from Mendocino Animal Hospital will return to the Farm Supply in the Valley tomorrow, Thursday, Jan 10 from 2-3:30pm. If you are a previous client you can call them 48 hours in advance (462-8833) to ensure that your pet’s charts are brought ‘over the hill’ and order any medications your pet might need. New customers and their pets are always welcome. They will be back in the Valley in two weeks on Thursday, Jan 24. #346. As mentioned last week, the Valley’s two Crab Feeds are coming up! Yes, a couple of the most popular events of the year are just around the corner and both will certainly sell out. The first, to benefit the Senior Center, is on Saturday, Jan 19, followed just two weeks later, on Saturday, Feb 2, by the event to benefit the Catholic Church organized by the irrepressible Gloria Ross. Laughing Dog Books in Boonville has tickets for both events with tickets for the Jan 19 feed ($30) also at Lemons’ Market in Philo and The Fairgrounds Office in Boonville, or at the Senior Center itself or call Gina at 895-3609. For the second event ($35), other than the bookstore, you can either call Gloria at 895-3071 or John at 895-9552.
Here is the menu for next week at the Senior Center. The Center asks for a $5 donation from Seniors and charges $7 for Non-Seniors for lunches, and $6 and $8 respectively for evening meals. On Thursday, Jan 10 the lunch, always served at 12.15pm, will be Mushu Pork, Wheat Noodles, Stir Fry Vegetables, Asian Slaw, Spinach-Strawberry Salad, Fruit Salad, Green Salad, and a Chocolate Chow Mein Noodle Cookie for dessert, and then next Tuesday evening, Jan 15, at 6pm, Marti Titus and her crew will be serving a dinner of Chicken Pot Pie, Rolls, Broccoli Salad, Raspberry Gelatin, Tabbouleh, Fruit Salad, Green Salad, and Strawberry–Lemon Dessert. A feast that will be followed by Bingo at 7pm. Hope to see you there.
Topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge: “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley.
…A number of parental regulars expressed relief that school restarted on Monday (Jan 7) and that ‘normal life’ can resume once again. There is nothing wrong with that of course and one has to admire the honesty.
…Talking of the school, with horses being killed on main roads, sheep and goats grazing where they shouldn’t, and numerous tag-less dogs escaping and getting lost, I suggest that fence-building be added to the high school curriculum ASAP.
…How about featuring “Life in the Real World 101” at the high school? A sort of combination of what used to be called “civics” and social skills? The kids could thank me later.
…It was generally agreed among the regulars that in a few week’s we will be entering the hardest time of the year for many small local businesses. February-April can be very tough on them so, whenever possible, please try to support our local places of commerce and the eateries before taking your business elsewhere.
…From our 3-Dot regular, The Old Buzzard, comes another in his insightful series, ‘Signs of the Approach of the Apocalypse.’ Buzzard reports: “Stop the presses! Be on full alert! News that one of the ultimate ‘Signs of the Approach of the Apocalypse’ is about to be upon us has been brought to my attention. Former Valley resident and AVA contributor and court reporter, the inimitable and virtually unrestrainable Bruce McEwen, is heading back to the area, although it remains unclear if the Valley will be his destination. Be aware, be very aware.”
Time to take my leave. Until we talk again, Keep the Faith; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you. One final request, “Let us prey.” Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture. PS. Contact me with words of support/abuse through the Letters Page or at email@example.com. PPS. Hi, Silver Swan; behaving yourself? Hopefully not! PPPS. Skylark, read any good books lately? ¥¥