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The Season Of Giving

The holidays loom again, and isn't it funny how we use the word “loom,” with its slightly dire connotation, to describe the approach of this most joyous of seasons. You…

Saved By Weather

"Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it." This sentence flitted across my consciousness recently, apropos of nothing at all, and got me pondering. I think it's…

The Brotherhood of the Leather Pants

The Brotherhood of the Leather Pants

The trick—one of them, anyway—to staying sane in prison and not lapsing into despair is having something to look forward to. The big one, of course, is one's parole date,…

Political Origins

That's it! I'm through with Donald Trump! Somewhere, some ones are hard at work making ink for these pens I use and I continue to squander it on that walking…

A Trip To Tweakerland

You — and by “you,” I mean everybody, not any specific demographic, strata, gender, party, orientation. proclivity, or inclination, even the verdammt Dodger nation I will include in this “you”…

Flattery Will Get You Somewhere On Hwy 20

So, you've gotten old. (If you are young, please disregard; clip this column and place it in the family Bible where you're likely to come across it in your dotage…

No Sarcasm Meant

On the increasingly frequent occasions when Donald Trump allows his mouth to race out ahead of his brain—understandable, given the latter's velocital limitations and the virtually constant workout regimen of…

Get The Shotgun

When I woke up, I was struck first by the silence — a deep and complete absence of sound that seemed to have a shape and weight all its own…

Pipes & Gravity

You might find this a little difficult to believe, but every now and then I find myself in a condition of violent disagreement with some absurdly inappropriate, misinformed, cack-brained, puerile,…

Not The Worst Criminal

I don't know who first coined the phrase "crime does not pay." I'm guessing that some morality play from the early 20th century, coming on the heels of crime, conceptually…

Hurts, Don’t It?

Children love to play pranks on one another, and the more painful and humiliating, the better. They are ridiculously transparent ruses, for the most part, and require on the part…