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Get The Shotgun

When I woke up, I was struck first by the silence — a deep and complete absence of sound that seemed to have a shape and weight all its own…

Pipes & Gravity

You might find this a little difficult to believe, but every now and then I find myself in a condition of violent disagreement with some absurdly inappropriate, misinformed, cack-brained, puerile,…

Not The Worst Criminal

I don't know who first coined the phrase "crime does not pay." I'm guessing that some morality play from the early 20th century, coming on the heels of crime, conceptually…

Hurts, Don’t It?

Children love to play pranks on one another, and the more painful and humiliating, the better. They are ridiculously transparent ruses, for the most part, and require on the part…

Relationship Probs

You should never refuse a friend a favor, I thought to myself. You ought always be one upon whom counting can be done, like an abacus or the common hand.…

Pennants, Peasants & Penance

As I was watching the walking, talking public relations stunt that is Pope Francis capering on television, soaking up all the love and adulation bestowed on him by the apparently…

Cold Turkey

I "discovered" something interesting through my yoga practice recently. I've been at it for nearly five years and consider it one of the most worthwhile undertakings I've ever embarked on,…

The Gods Have Spoken

Every once in a while — not often, but it happens — prison will get the better of me. Most of the time I’m all about the business of filling…

Bonfire At Yellowgate

I hate to keep flogging a dead horse, but some things manage, through sheer black-hearted cussedness, to continuously prod one's ire and therefore demand public excoriation. Last night I was…

Spongebob v. McConnell

I am ready, willing and perfectly able to admit that when it comes to big picture stuff, the machinations of governments and populations and financial markets and such, I do…

I Don’t Know But I’ve Been Told

The night hung on deep summer Ukiah like damp, dark wool— thick, heavy, and vaguely redolent of an indefinable funk. Insectile whirrs, chirps and chillers carried for miles in the…