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The Stony Lonesome: Role Models

Oh, look! Wake Your Fat Ass Up! America is doing yet another segment about the unrealistic expectations of physical beauty propagated by the media and how they are turning our…

The Stony Lonesome: Happy New Year

I'd like to take this opportunity to wish everyone a happy and prosperous New Year, full of personal successes and clement weather. May 2016 roll out before you all like…

A Wasted Stretch

I was exhausted, having spent my days off among the bangers of Waugh Lane in Ukiah and nearly getting my cap peeled by a pair of school-age junior-grade neo-Norteños who…

The Zombie Apocalypse Looms

When the zombie apocalypse arrives — and you may rest assured that it will, do not delude yourself on that score — I'm going to have some concerns. The expected…

A Tweeker’s Christmas

The holidays approacheth yet again as is their inexorable wont and there's nothing you can do to stop them. Can't slow ’em down, can’t skip over ’em, can't take enough…

The Stony Lonesome: Unreal

We've all suffered to some degree, have we not? We all have our share of pain and misery and loss in our stories, some to greater and others to a…

The Stony Lonesome: The Heart of Noyo

My valet Clive and I were in our Fort Bragg offices playing backgammon and discussing economic theory when the knock came on the door. I was no match for him…

The Stony Lonesome: Getting Old

Most of my friends in Fort Bragg are considerably younger than me. This is not necessarily by design, except insofar as my seriously arrested development leads me to seek out…

The Stony Lonesome: Happy Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving looms like a giant mutant turkey at the outskirts of town, swinging wattles generating a cooling breeze as it casts its gimlet eye on the populace soon to become…

The Stony Lonesome: Happy Anniversary

Happy Double Anniversary to Me! It's a one, two, Jubilee! So pop the corks and pluck the storks and fell the anniversa-tree! So far as I know, there's no actual…

Nephew Of Avarice, Once Removed

As an addict — as a dyed-in-the-wool, card-carrying, ginuwine, for-real, tweak-seeking meth-missile — I have been known to take some fairly extreme measures to acquire the necessary chemicals in order…