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A Trip Downtown

In keeping with the current trends of health and mindfulness, I try to be careful about what I put into my body. After all, it is the only one I’ve…

A Little Weirdness

“When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.” That little gem comes to us from the fevered mind of gonzo journalism's most celebrated spurious doctor, the inimitable Hunter S.…

Jumping The Shark, But Keeping It Greene

If a team of tasteful, classy evaluators were to compile some sort of chart or graph or list of human entertainments, graded and categorized according to relative cultural value, I'm…

Everything In Moderation

In the spirit of imposing a moratorium on the introduction of toxins and insalubrious elements into my own personal constitution, I have almost completely eradicated sugar from my diet. I…

O.G. Ninja, Emeritus (Ret.) 8/7/17

Several months ago, while making my, oh, I don't know, thirteen zillionth lap in the last four years around the thousand square feet of superheated dust they call a yard,…

Over-Reactions

The human brain is an amazing organ, and capable of some genuinely astonishing things. I'm not even talking about Einstein-y super-genius level insight, which is of course amazing but not…

You Get What You Pay For

I was on the yard yesterday morning, alternately running and walking laps — it's just too blasted hot for uninterrupted running, even at eight a.m. — and saw a chap…

Guns & Doors

Every time I knock politely on a door, the traditional and accepted manner of requesting ingress, consultation, or succor from whomever is behind it, and am greeted with a firearm…

The Brotherhood of BOMP

Word on the street is, things are pretty rough out there, "out there" being the world in general and the United States specifically. I hear, and read, about it every…

Shorty & the Great Crab Massacre

I watched the movie ‘Need For Speed’ over the weekend. Yes, willingly. I was not strapped into a chair with my glazzies pried open a la’ Clockwork Orange — and…

In The Good Ol’ Summertime

I woke up this morning with the following phrase rattling around in my head: in the absence of rabbits. I don't know where it came from, if it was the…

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