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The Real Deal

If autocratic rule by America’s zillionaires proves anything, it’s that you really can succeed in life by biting the hands that feed you. In this zillionaire’s version of Las Vegas…

Marching in Bend

Marching in Bend

Unlike me, my wife Trisha’s been “centered” her whole life long. The first-born girl, and second born child, of Chicago Irish Catholics on their way to having a dozen, after…

The Pasadena YWCA

I can’t remember when my dad moved out the house for good. Must’ve been sometime between my 12th and 14th birthdays. I can’t remember when my parents filed their divorce…

The Scum Also Rises

Beware of towns that have more churches than saloons. In places where even the Christians can’t agree on who exactly is a Christian, maintaining domestic tranquility means that virtually all…

Tells

I think “Tells” is one of the most beautiful words in the American Language. According to Professor Webster, the words “tell” and “tells” have sixteen commonly accepted usages. There’s also…

Alien Nation

Alien Nation

Been a good long while since I’ve thought about my time as a cherry paratrooper with the 82nd Airborne Division back during the long hot summer of 1967. Long time…

Snow

When I was a little boy in LA, my mom told me how when she was a kid the snow in Chicago turned black. Burning coal and firewood was all…

Stepford Surrogates Gone Haywire

The first thing that told me that the upcoming presidential election would be dirty was the opinion poll that came out after Hillary won the nomination. The poll showed that…

Animal Cruelty

Want to have some fun with a horse? Find a retired old potbellied stud that’s been put on a strict diet. Meet him at the fence and, when nobody’s looking, give…

The Pancake Plains

The first officially recorded epidemic of the Dwindles to break out within what is now the Continental US occurred immediately after Abe Lincoln signed the Homestead Act of 1862. Anxious…

Anti-topia

When I was a little boy and we were on the road, I used to love the way small town radio stations faded in and out. Heading east on US…