People around the world jumped all over him, calling this “lunacy,” har har, and observing that most thinking folks thought that Newt already lived up there somewhere anyway. But it might not be entirely fair to keep sniping at Newt’s strange remarks. He’s admittedly and proudly “grandiose,” not to mention being a self-proclaimed “visionary” (but not a lobbyist, despite what his paychecks and everybody he’s ever lobbied says). “I think too much,” he admits. “I am now a famous person.”

Very few seem to think he has any real chance at winning anything. But consider this; another “famous” person who harbored grand illusions also adopted “winning” as his slogan, and came back from the bottom. Hence this not-so-outlandish thought:

Newt Gingrich should enlist Charlie Sheen as his running mate.

Hold on – it’s not so outlandish as it might seem. The two have much in common but could unite two disparate wings of fantasyland. Sheen’s meltdown last year was marked more than anything by grandiosity, denial and delusion. And then he quieted down and went away, back to “work,” as it were, planning his comeback. And then Newt started saying things like:

“I want to shift the entire planet. And I’m doing it. I represent real power.”

He’s also said, “You can’t trust anybody with power,” but let’s not be picky. Remember some of the nuggets Charlie gifted upon us, starting with “I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen”?

Newt probably can’t use the “drug” excuse, even if it were true. But he can use Sheen-isms and maybe nobody would notice. Maybe nobody has noticed — until now. So, here are some quotes from the two grandiose gentlemen. Try and guess who is who here:

“I don’t have time for their judgement and their stupidity.”

“A mere forty years ago, beach volleyball was just beginning. No bureaucrat would have invented it, and that’s what freedom is all about.”

“The fact is, we can afford a fairly ignorant presidency now.”

“I have a different constitution. I have a different brain; I have a different heart; I got tiger blood, man.”

“(My) Primary mission, Advocate of civilization, Definer of civilization, Teacher of the rules of civilization, Leader of the civilizing forces.”

“I have defeated this earthworm with my words. Imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists.”

“The problem isn’t too little money in political campaigns, but not enough.”

“(I am) The most serious, systematic revolutionary of modern times.”

“These people are sick. They are so consumed by their own power, by a Mussolini-like ego, that their willingness to run over normal human beings and to destroy honest institutions is unending.”

“The left-wing Democrats will represent the party of total hedonism, total exhibitionism, total bizarreness, total weirdness, and the total right to cripple innocent people in the name of letting hooligans loose.”

“She isn’t young enough or pretty enough to be the President’s wife.”

“For now, I’m just going to hang out with these two smoking hotties and fly privately around the world. It might be lonely up here, but I sure like the view.”

“I read Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them and I found frightening pieces that related to… my own life.”

“The idea that a congressman would be tainted by accepting money from private industry or private sources is essentially a socialist argument.”

“These schools should get rid of unionized janitors, have one master janitor, pay local students to take care of the school.”

“I have one speed, I have one gear: go!”

“It doesn’t matter what I do. People need to hear what I have to say. There’s no one else who can say what I can say. It doesn’t matter what I live.”

“I just didn’t believe I was like everybody else. I thought I was unique.”

“From my big beautiful warlock brain… You’re either in my corner, or you’re with the trolls.”

“I think one of the great problems we have in the Republican party is that we don’t encourage you to be nasty. We encourage you to be neat, obedient, and loyal and faithful and all those Boy Scout words.”

“Here’s the good news. If I realize that I’m insane, then I’m okay with it. I’m not dangerous insane.”

- One could go on and on with these, but that’s plenty enough to illustrate that you can hardly tell the two apart. Draw your own conclusions from that.

Anyway, back to that first Gingrich quote above, about going to the moon, more delusional than any such lunar plans is his “second term” slip; one needs a first term first? Which is about as likely as me becoming a warlock. But I hope readers will join me in sending some version of this letter I mailed to the powers-that-be at the GOP:

Dear Sirs:

Please please please nominate Newt Gingrich for President.

Respectfully, Steve

Today I fit several important pieces into the jigsaw puzzle of life, having found the first of those pieces a few days ago while I was at Mendocino K-8 School on Little Lake Road, shooting hoops despite the biting chill in the air and…

Wait. Doesn’t it strike you as remarkable, even astonishing, that in Mendocino of all places, a town known the world over as a seething vortex of artists and poets and potheads, that our K-8 school doesn’t have at least a mildly groovy name? Fantasia Archetype School. Raven Big Tree Learning Center. Earthling Haven Academy. Middle Earth Education Fulcrum. Doppelganger Nine. Fields of Elysium Lyceum. Mind Body Spirit Cognition Node. But I digress.

So…I was shooting hoops despite the biting chill when down the steps from the school to the playground came two people, a shapely young woman with hair of spun gold and a boy some four inches shorter than the young woman, a skinny, dorky boy with drab brown hair wearing a blue Mendocino K-8 School sweatshirt. And though I was a hundred yards away, I knew this boy and woman were courting, that they were the same age, numerically speaking, and that they were headed for the swings where many Mendocino K-8 junior high couples go to swing and flirt and talk about whatever junior high kids talk about these days.

Seeing these two physically mismatched lovebirds, I journeyed back through my memory archives to when I was a drab dorky boy in Eighth Grade and madly in love with three shapely young women who were, in every conceivable way (and I do mean conceivable), ready to hook up with men but found themselves surrounded by boys. And remembering those uneasy days of biological imbalance, when Lucy and Hannah and Shari were so obviously women while I and my male classmates were still so obviously boys, and having just finished reading The Old Way by Elizabeth Marshall Thomas for the third time, I suddenly understood why so many girls today turn into women well in advance of their male age peers, which understanding was the aforementioned first of several pieces I just today fit into the jigsaw puzzle of life.

“We hope to find more pieces of the puzzle which will shed light on the connection between this upright, walking ape, our early ancestor, and modern man.” — Richard Leakey

I love the many-times-proven fact that every human being on earth is a direct genetic descendant of the Ju/wasi (Bushmen) of southern Africa, and I am so grateful that Elizabeth Marshall Thomas, a keen observer and gifted writer, dwelt among some of the last Ju/wasi to live in the Old Way so we may know how our ancestors lived prior to the ruination of the African savannah and the decimation of the original Ju/wasi way of life.

To quote from The Old Way (with Ms. Thomas’s permission), “If you happen to see a contemporary film or photo showing Bushmen dressed in skins, perhaps beside a small grass shelter or following a line of antelope footprints or handling a bow and arrow, you are seeing a reenactment. Today, nobody lives in the Old Way. All Bushmen, unless they put on skins for a photographer, wear the clothing of the dominant cultures — invariably Western dress for men, and Western or African dress for women — and none live by hunting and gathering, although with these activities they sometimes supplement their meager diet, which today is often cornmeal provided by the Namibian government as a welfare ration. They have jobs if they can get them, although many cannot; they listen to popular music on the radio, dance the popular dances, are influenced to some degree by Christianity, and are aware of the larger world and national politics.”

The Old Way is a record of daily life among one of the very last groups of Ju/wasi living as their predecessors (our predecessors) lived for at least thirty-five thousand years. And guess what? The junior high biological gender divide of our modern times did not exist among our people for those thirty-five thousand years.

“N!ai reached the menarche (began to menstruate) when she was about seventeen years old. At this time an important ceremony was held for her with eland music and dancing — a much more important ceremony than her wedding. But she and /Gunda (her husband) had no child for three years, when she was almost twenty. This was a very normal age for a Ju/wa woman’s first pregnancy.

“In the Old Way, the human population, like most other populations who live in the Old Way, had it own regulation. The strenuous work and absence of body fat prevented hunter-gatherer women from menstruating at an early age…”

In harmony with this biological truth, a Ju/wa man was not allowed to wed until he had killed an antelope, no easy feat even for a strong and experienced hunter. Thus most Ju/wa men spent the years before marriage growing into their full size and strength while acquiring skills that would enable them to provide antelope meat for their families and relatives.

“Who in the world am I? Ah, that’s the great puzzle.” — Lewis Carroll

When I was a little boy, my friends and I would pretend to be cowboys fighting Indians, the Indians being in the distance for us to shoot at with our pretend guns. When I was an older boy, my friends and I pretended to be American soldiers fighting Japanese and German soldiers, and these enemies, too, were in the distance for us to shoot at with our pretend guns. But when I played alone, I was always an Indian with a spear (fashioned from a grape stake or broom handle) and the bow and arrows I’d had since I was eight.

My childhood home stood on the edge of an abandoned estate, twenty acres of oaks and olive trees and overgrown vineyards and grasslands and ravines and chaparral teaming with wildlife — paradise. As far as I know, I was the only boy or girl in my neighborhood to habitually pretend to be an Indian; and there were certainly no other pretend Indians in our neck of the woods who took their pretending to the lengths I did. During those long summers when I was eight nine ten eleven and twelve, I lived for days on end in the wilds back of our house, barefoot and naked save for shorts, spending many a night camped out under the stars, with nuts and raisins and beef jerky for food, and a fire of twigs to keep me company as I gave voice to my invisible companions, wise old storytellers who knew everything there was to know about the animals and plants and spirits of that place.

I played tons of baseball with my friends and rode my bike all over the place, adventuring in the world of roads and stores, and I spent hours hunkered down in my bedroom with books, but no matter what else I might be doing, I longed to be in the woods, to follow a bird or butterfly to see where they might lead me; and to sit hidden and still for so long that the quail would forget I was there and resume their foraging around me, and a deer might appear close by, unaware of me, and I would be filled with wild joy knowing I might kill these animals if I needed to eat them to survive.

“I’d rather learn from one bird how to sing

than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance” — e.e. cummings

I attended school and went insane with boredom, the teachings dead and useless, the only good parts of school being singing and drawing and recess and ball games and socializing with my friends and being secretly in love with girls. And until Sixth Grade all my classmates were boys and girls, and it was only midway through Sixth Grade and from then on that girls became women and boys remained boys, a division that reached a painful zenith in Seventh and Eighth Grade, otherwise known as junior high.

“and down they forgot as up they grew” — e.e. cummings

The summer after Eighth Grade I was hired by a neighbor to move many tons of soil from his backyard to his front yard. I shoveled heavy brown dirt from a gently sloping hillside into a large wheelbarrow and wheeled that barrow a hundred yards up and over an incline to the dumping point. This labor — five hours a day — lasted two months and changed my fast-growing body from skinny boy to muscular young man. Then, with only a month remaining before I started high school, I spent two weeks camped in the woods with my spear and fires and beef jerky, knowing these were the last days of my childhood and never wanting them to end.

“and now you are and i am now and we’re

a mystery which will never happen again” — e.e. cummings

The week before I started high school, I went to a party; and all the girls my age had become women. They saw I was no longer a boy; and Shari who had been a woman since Seventh Grade kissed me tenderly as we danced and led me outside into the moonlight and we kissed unto mindlessness, but beyond that I didn’t have a clue what to do and Shari was clearly frustrated and disappointed.

A few days later, the Saturday before high school began, I came home from my camp in the woods to find Hannah had come to visit, Hannah whom I had secretly loved since Fifth Grade, Hannah with womanly curves and beautiful breasts, Hannah with a deep musical laugh who always got my jokes when no one else did, Hannah who was my primary dream girl and fantasy lover.

We played ping-pong, and as we played I realized I was naked save for shorts, and Hannah was naked save for shorts and a negligible blouse. I had caught up to her, biologically speaking, and she had come to me — never having been to my house before — because she knew I had caught up to her, and because she liked me.

Somehow we went from playing ping-pong on the terrace to walking through the overgrown vineyard to a massive oak, and there we embraced and kissed and kissed some more until she whispered sweetly, “Hey, you wanna do it?”

“I…I…”

“I know how,” she said, her eyes sparkling. “And I can show you.”

I was 13. Looking back, seeing myself with Hannah in those last moments of childhood, I may wish I had allowed her to show me, but now that I have found and fit enough pieces into the jigsaw puzzle of life, I understand that I was not yet fully a man, not yet a killer of antelopes or the modern equivalent, and therefore not allowed to take a wife.

Todd’s web site is UnderTheTableBooks.com.

Editor,

Winner of the Times trivialedad contest: 1st Prize: 36 hours in Birmingham; 2nd prize: 72 hours in Birmingham.

If there is only one icon it is: Barbie Doll, Dismaleyland, Tom Mix, Black Friday, Willits Justice Center.

The answer of course is “The Times” with Peanut Butter a close second.

1. What is a word that “The Times” absolutely will not print?

2. What is a commonly used Spanish word “The Times” will not print, even in a quotation?

3. Who is now the best columnist in the country with the least amount of bullshit?

4. What does Maureen Dowd call candidate Romney?

5. Who is the socialist candidate in the 2012 election?

Why is it called the “Teddy Bear”? After Teddy Roosevelt who went on a bear hunting trip to Mississippi in 1902, but couldn’t find any bears and was ridiculed by cartoonists.

For what was Roosevelt most heavily criticized? For inviting a Negro to the White House.

What is the subject of these three popular books by Malcolm Gladwell? Outliers: When people succeed it has to do with luck and opportunities as well as talent. The Tipping Point: A study of social epidemics, otherwise known as fads. Blink: The importance of hunch and instinct in the working of the mind.

Robert Jouncewell

Willits

Answers: 1. Stink. 2. Maricon. 3. Eugene Robinson. 4. Mittens. 5. Quien sabe.

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THANKS FROM WALL STREET

Editor,

The protesters who tore up Oakland last weekend in the name of Occupy Wall Street are actually Wall Street’s best friends because they enable the financial elite to portray all who legitimately oppose them as scary anarchists and vandals instead of ordinary Americans cheated out of the American dream.

James Holmes

Larkspur

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ANOTHER GREAT FILM FEST

Dear Anderson Valley film fans and local benefactors,

On behalf of the three local organizations that will receive donations from the recent 6th Annual Anderson Valley Festival, I would like to pass on the deepest gratitude for your support. The Festival’s two nights and one day of films held at The Grange a week and a half ago brought in just under $2,000 in profits — all of which will be distributed between the AV Senior Center, the AV Animal Rescue, and the AV High School Film Class. There are many Valley folks who helped make the event such a success, far too many to mention individually, however, a few deserve a special ‘Thank You’ for their efforts.

Needless to say, my fellow Film Festival committee members should certainly be among those, for without them the Festival would not have taken place: Heidi Knott, Maria Goodwin, Charlotte Triplett, Jeanne Eliades, Tim Bates, and Eric Labowitz. And there are others who deserve special mention too: Mike Crutcher, the irreplaceable sound engineer and video and projector maestro; Patty Liddy, for all her work organizing the volunteers and collecting donations from our sponsors; the many (16) wineries who contributed so generously once again with wine for sale at the bar and as raffle prizes; the Anderson Valley Brewery for the draft beer and bar set-up; the AVA newspaper and the two radio stations – KZYX and KOZT, 95.3 The Coast, for all of the plugs and advertising; Mosswood Market and Alicia’s Restaurant for their excellent food and substantial donations; David ‘The Grange Master’ Norfleet and the AV Grange Committee for allowing us to use their excellent venue; The AV Lions Club, particularly Judy Long, for her assistance in acquiring a beer and wine license for the event plus their help in finding volunteers; and last, but far from least, the many volunteers who gave their time to work their shifts on the door, bar and in the kitchen.

In previous years we have always made around $2000 in profits for the local beneficiaries. This amount was almost achieved once again, however on this occasion, given the financial climate, we decided not to ask the local small businesses for a donation this year, an amount that in the past has been approximately $1000. So, with that in the mind, the profits this year were particularly gratifying and entirely due to the generosity and support of our community.

Many thanks, and ‘Well done’ to everyone concerned!

Sincerely,

Steve Sparks

Philo

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MISBEHAVING

Dear Editor,

The report seen on a recent news broadcast was that husband, Shawn Harris is in prison doing six years for sexually assaulting/raping his wife many times (oral copulation). Wife Crystal Harris recorded many of the events which gave police and a court evidence to put this creep behind bars.

In further news, get this: Another judge, another court, has given Shawn an award of $1000 a month alimony from his former victim wife when he is released from prison in 2017 or sooner for good behavior. Obviously he knows how to behave well — behind bars anyway.

Is this Mendocino County? No, it happened in San Diego. By the way, neither the victim nor the perp is Hispanic.

Carl Flach

Alameda

PS. Just want to let you know that I enjoy/appreciate all the Todd Walton articles that you publish, which I read with glee. He certainly has great depth of himself and the world and puts words into a screed that is pure magic. Thank you for having him on your list of contributors.

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NO RESENTENCING

To the Editor:

An Open Letter to Judge Richard Henderson:

I read with great concern in the Ukiah Daily Journal that you are planning to review a sentence, the lowest prescribed for the crime, already lower than the least that have recently been determined for others for similar crimes, with the possibility of reducing it further, in response to pleas from the perpetrators family and friends.

The trend in society in recent times has been to take more seriously the crime of driving drunk, and rightly so. This is an especially egregious case. Here is someone, no longer a child, who drove drunk, killed a friend, and exhibited the most callous disregard by not rendering aid, first having coffee delivered to him, waiting four hours to report the accident, and lying about it, with no care or concern for anyone but himself.

If he does not serve at least the four year prison term, he will continue to drink, and he will continue to drive drunk, and perhaps kill and maim other innocent victims, because your attitude is telling him that what he did was no big deal. It is telling everyone else who drives drunk that it is no big deal.

Your approach to his sentencing shows disregard for the welfare of society. Living in Mendocino County since 1982 has taught me that in small communities, personal relationships take precedence over the rule of law. Some people cannot get arrested no matter what they do, and if they do get arrested, they cannot get the sentences they deserve. This creates disrespect for the law for those who benefit from these decisions, and cynical disrespect for the law for those who are not in a position to benefit from them. It destroys any belief in a just society.

I am asking you to let your original lenient sentence stand. Deliver justice in a fair and responsible manner, for the benefit of society. Driving drunk is a big deal. Driving drunk and killing someone is a very big deal. Compounding the situation as he did is an extremely big deal, and should not be dealt with lightly.

Carol K. Gottfried

Ukiah

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NO NEW JOB KILLERS

To the Editor:

If the Ukiah City Council denies Wal-Mart permission to expand, no one loses a job: Wal-Mart employees keep their jobs, as do the employees at Food-Maxx and Lucky’s. If, however, the City Council grants Wal-Mart permission to expand, employees at Lucky’s and Food-Maxx will lose their jobs because those supermarkets will be forced out of business. Some of those employees, but not all, will get jobs at Wal-Mart.

At a time when unemployment is already high, it makes no sense whatsoever to grant Wal-Mart permission to expand.

Janie Sheppard

Ukiah

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WHY THE DELAY?

Letter to the Editor

Open Letter to BOS

Last October, Supervisor McCowen asked CEO Carmel Angelo for a report on Laura’s Law. She said it would take her until December to report on it, then she said January and now she says April. Why?

The Supervisors can google on Assisted Outpatient Treatment and Laura’s Law (AOT/LL), and find out for themselves how successful it is all over the country in saving money from decreased hospitalizations and incarcerations, and in helping the sickest of the sick begin their recovery. AOT/LL is good public policy, increases public safety, saves money, makes common sense, and your constituents want it.

Why don’t you just do it?

Sonya Nesch, author of

Advocating for Someone with a Mental Illness

Comptche

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TALK TALK TALK

Dear Editor:

The GOP warhawks are beating their war drums for a war with Iran. These are the same fools that got us into a failed war in Iraq and having us engaging in a futile task of nation building in Afghanistan.

At the same time the warhawks in Israel want to bomb the nuclear facilities in Iran. Iran is not Syria or Iraq who didn’t hit back when Israel bombed their purported nuclear facilities. Iran will hit back hard including missile strikes on Israel and Hezbollah with the their reported 25,000 to 30,000 missiles undoubtedly will attack Israel. Our embassy in Iraq with a staff of around 11,000 plus several thousand contractors is particularly vulnerable. Reportedly the Iranian Revolutionary Guard (Qud) already is in Iraq and could take these people hostage. Further our naval ships could come under attack and if their defensive weapons fail they become floating graveyards. Then of course we might have terrorist attacks directed towards Americans overseas as well as at home. If anybody is really serious about resolving this situation you don’t bomb, bomb, bomb but rather talk, talk, talk.

In peace,

James G. Updegraff

Sacramento

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FISHERS, NOT OIL

Editor,

Keep Local Fishermen Fishing and Prevent Offshore Oil Drilling

Whoever is elected to represent California’s Northcoast Second Congressional District will be a key participant in setting ocean and fisheries policy. I am committed to supporting small, independent, local fishers, assuring local fishers a fair share of federal fisheries allotments.

I recommend that everyone support the “Keep Fishermen Fishing Rally” in Washington, D.C. on March 21. These fishermen are true environmentalists, asserting the rights of sustainable, harmonious fishers, bringing people health-giving food in harmony with the ocean environment.

I agree with the organizers of the March 21 rally when they told the truth about the Magnuson Act: “Signed into law in 1976, in recent years the Act has been transformed from its original intent, to conserve our nation’s fish and support our nation’s fishermen, into a weapon employed by a handful of megafoundations and the anti-fishing Environmental Non-Government Organizations they support to drive fishermen off the water.”

For information on the March 21 Keep Fishermen Fishing Rally, see their website <www.keepfishermenfishing.com >.

Awash in the most profits ever made, oil companies keep hammering on many levels to get at the Point Arena Basin, an earthquake-fault-riven unexplored offshore oil leasing area off the Mendocino Coast, believed to contain significant amounts of oil. Relentless opposition to offshore oil drilling here has prevented it so far, yet eternal vigilance is required.

This year, 2012, I recommend that we support Congresswoman Lynn Woolsey’s bill to expand the Gulf of Farallones-Cordell Bank Marine Sanctuary northward, to permanently prohibit offshore hydrocarbon drilling off the Sonoma Coastand Mendocino to Point Arena. This Marine Sanctuary, crafted with leaders of fishing unions and groups, does not regulate fisheries, but prevents pollution and drilling.

I recommend that fishermen push for introduction and enactment of Rep. John Garamendi’s “West Coast Ocean Protection Act,” which would forever protect the offshore federal waters of Washington, Oregon, and California from offshore oil or gas drilling.

Congressman Mike Thompson always has supported these and other efforts to prevent offshore oil and gas drilling.

The ocean upwelling ecosystem of Northern California is a rare and eternally abundant source of essential food for humans. Protecting the ocean and practicing harmonious seaweed harvest for food has been my life.

John Lewallen

Philo

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WITH FRIENDS LIKE THESE…

Mr. Anderson:

While there was a lot to admire in Dick Meister’s article, “So, What About The State of The Unions, Mr. President?”, I don’t think his criticism of Obama was strong enough.

Obama made only a half-assed effort to promote the Employee Free Choice Act. And he appointed a venture capitalist, Arnie Duncan, as his Secretary of Education. Duncan’s focus has been on replacing public schools with charter schools and beating up teachers’ unions–and teachers. Race to the Top is No Child Left Behind on steroids as some wit has observed.

Alexander Cockburn’s and Jeffrey St. Clair’s CounterPunch of 16–30 November, 2011, featured an excellent article by DavidMacaray entitled “Obama and Labor–Friends Without Benefits.”

In his article, Macaray is a lot tougher on Obama. He concludes the article by writing, “Because Obama believes America’s labor unions have no place to reside except the Democratic Party, he condescends to them. …The message is clear: if you think the Democrats aren’t doing enough for you, just see how you do with the Republicans.”

The entire article merits perusal.

Louis S. Bedrock

Roselle, NJ 07203

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OBAMA V. CALIFORNIA

Editor,

It is vital that cities throughout California remain defiant like Oakland has been in the face of the Obama administration’s ongoing scare tactics with regard to medical marijuana.

Proposition 215 is the law in California and has been for the past 15 years. I met with US Attorney Melinda Haag this past December about the recent federal crackdown and the tension between state and federal law. Unfortuantely, she is not using the discretion granted her office to discrimate between the bad actors in the industry and the responsible ones.

I fail to understand how marijuana dispensaries throughout Northern California that are in complete compliance with local law are suddenly a threat to public safety after so many years. This is simply bad politics.

What we need now is strong political leadership from our elected officials to defend California state law. San Francisco has been a leader on this issue and the mayor and the Board of Supervisors need to be more prominent in their opposition to the US Attorney’s actions. Clearly, medical marijuana will eventually be decided by the Supreme Court, but in the meantime we cannot allow the wholsesale dismantling of medical marijuana in the state by a rogue Department of Justice.

Tom Ammiano, Assemblyman

San Francisco

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FREE AIR TRAVEL

Editor,

Free airline flights anywhere within the United States (from Maine to Florida, California to Washington — with hundreds of stops in between)

Are you tired of paying those exorbitant fees for airline tickets, for standing in line to prove you are who you say you are, for calculating schedules and frequent flyer discounts, for worrying about whether your plane will be blown up? (As for the safety issue, relax, our airline has reserved departure and landing areas secured by armed professionals. Additionally, armed air marshals accompany all flights. Our proud boast is that we’ve never lost a passenger.)

All meals are free. We even provide a physician’s assistant on all flights.

Hotel reservations? Not to worry. One of our singular claims to fame is that you can step off the plane right into our modern seven-story hotel, centrally located in the heartland of the country, Oklahoma City, where you can catch your connecting flights.

The only requirement for you to enjoy these CON-AIR benefits is that you must enroll as a member of the Gulag. This is not a difficult process. With the end of the Cold War and the imposition of the war on drugs, then the war on terror, the recruiting requirements have been lowered. Almost anyone can join.

If you’re squeamish and can’t commit the necessary deeds, just remember that this country alone has that all-inclusive statue on the books entitled “conspiracy.” Just whisper a few conspiratorial words into the ears of certain gossipy friendly folks near a mosque who will relay the secrets in greatly exaggerated form to one of the many agent provocateurs lurking about and you too can enjoy the benefits of CON-AIR.

Ronald Del Raine

Victorville

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WELL I’LL B

Dear Editor,

The AV B Well program is up and running for this new year 2012! Start this new year on a good foot and give it up for your health! All Welcome! Free or donation-based (suggested donation $5-7)

February/March Schedule: After School Fitness with Kira Brennan in the HS Cafeteria 3:45-4:45 Mon: Active Yoga-All levels Welcome. Bilingual

Wed: Fitness- Weight Training, toning and aerobics. Bilingual

Thurs: Erin’s Boot Camp: Aerobic work-out & Core training. Bilingual

Power Walk class: M-W-F at 8:45 am starting at the Elementary Parking Lot (Begins on Wed. Feb 1st) (2 Miles)

Boot Camp Aerobic Workout :Saturdays at 10am (Begins Feb 4th) AVHS Cafeteria. Join Erin Brown, personal trainer for this one hour aerobic workout.

Easy Stretch Chair Yoga: with Kathy MacDonald Thursdays 11:00-12:00 AV Senior Center.

All donations welcome to support the AV B Well program. Find us on Facebook AV B Well for updated schedules or call Kira Brennan at 877-3479 or kibrenn@yahoo.com

Peace and Health

Kira Brennan

Navarro

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MAKE WINE, NOT NUKES

Editor,

Frey Winery Hosting California Nuclear Initiative (CNI) Event

America’s first Organic Winery has assembled an evening of speakers and discussion around Nuclear Energy in California and the CNI 2012 Ballot Initiative to close the States two Nuclear Power Plants.

Redwood Valley, February 3rd, 2012. This Saturday February 11th in the beautiful Redwood Valley, Frey Vineyards, a leader in organic wine production and sustainable farming practices since 1980, has assembled an evening around ending nuclear energy in California.

Diablo Canyon and San Onofre Nuclear Power Plants operate near some of the largest population centers and most important agricultural lands in the State. The March 2011 triple meltdown and large radiation releases at Fukushima Daichi Nuclear Power Plant in Japan have brought the risks and cost of nuclear power to the forefront of public debate.

California’s two Nuclear Power Plants, both built in the 1970s, are approaching the end of their 40-year design life, and have been plagued with problems for many years; both sit on active earthquake faults. San Onofre has the worst safety record of the nation’s 104 nuclear plants, as the recent January, 31st accident and Radiation release attest.

It is time for California, the nation and the world  to begin a rational and fact-based discussion about the costs and dangers of operating old, poorly designed and poorly sited nuclear plants.  Renewable energy alternatives exist and conservation measures could be enacted to make up the small contribution that nuclear power makes to the electrical supply of the State.   The Japanese have made this clear, after shutting down 50 of its 54 plants in response to the Fukushima Disaster.

The CNI event begins at 6pm.  Organic Pizza (made with ingredients grown at Frey Winery) baked in the winery’s beehive outdoor oven will be served along with Frey organic wine.  Speakers to be announced, presentations will be given, petitions and information will be available to sign and take. Local music provided.

To learn more about the event and Frey Winery visit www.freywine.com.

Paul Frey, 707- 485 -5177, paulfrey@freywine.com

Mark House, 707 513 5843, mahouse729@gmail.com

Redwood Valley

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WATERLESS FROST PROTECTION

Editor,

Something I can’t quite understand: French and German grapes, and even Spanish and Italian, grow in climates with much colder winters than occur in Mendocino and Sonoma, including high ground vineyards. We have a few vineyards here in Minnesota and neighboring Ontario has a substantial wine country. How do they manage without frost protection?

Whyte Owen

Rochester, Minnesota

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TAKE THIS, WALL STREET

Editor:

Please chant for the destruction of the plutocracy:

Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare

Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare

Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare

Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare

Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare

Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare

Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare

Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare

Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare

Thank you,

Craig Louis Stehr

Oakland

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ANONYMOUS COP GRIPE

Dear Editor,

As a 15-year subscriber, great admirer of your enterprise, and an avid consumer of his reports, I say Bruce McEwen is a good fit in the ambient machismo at the AVA.

His obnoxious fraternity with cops and officers of the court on the prosecution side has crossed a line. In Two Little Trials (AVA, February 1) he declares his impatience with ‘police state talk,’ by ‘people here who don’t get out into the real world much.’ Then he says a jury trial is something a defendant has ‘managed to get himself.’ As though this fundamental feature of any righteous legal system was something bestowed by ‘feeb’ goddesses mollycoddling dirt-hippie skells. Then he quotes some anonymous tough-guy ‘lawyer-friend’ (maybe he has one too many of those) complaining about ‘the myth… that the system is rigged against poor people’!

Two years ago I deposited all the money I could muster into your local economy. Three days later Sheriff’s deputies from a Mid-Western county profiled my rental car with out-of-state plates. They wrote a completely fictional arrest report in which they lied about the reason they pulled me over, invented an odor in my car, under-reported the on-board agricultural specialties, and ripped off the difference. Crooked cops everywhere know they can write whatever bullshit they want about a dope arrest. To a jury, it’s the word of local cops against some stranger who had shit in his car. If a group of friends had not chipped in for the putative best lawyer in the area, I could be doing 5 to 15 down there now instead of my 5-year probation.

By all AVA accounts, the cops and prosecutors in Mendocino County seem very fair and honest. But hey, Bruce, in the ‘real world’ justice and freedom are for sale.

Name Withheld

Ukiah

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NOTES ON A REZ

Greetings to all you out there in Mendoland,

As one year comes to an end, another begins, and like all curious souls we try to remember the events that occurred during the past 12 months. Many of these events are good and some are bad, and which one is which depends on what side you’re on or whose side you’re on. No, I’m not trying to be negative. But sometimes the truth needs to be told. Yes, it may hurt some feelings and those who are caught will deny what they have done. But the truth is just that and, as they say, is the only thing that truly hurts.

So what do we have to talk about that happened in Indian country over the past year? Oh yes, a few months ago the Mendocino County Sheriff’s office reared its racist head once again when they had the Buckhorn Bar shutdown on California Indian Days in Covelo. You know, that little town right next to the Round Valley Indian Reservation? The Valley had way too many cops in it and as one Indian put it, “he knew they weren’t after him.” Mendo’s finest went beyond their usual display of racism. They might as well have hung signs on every bathroom door and water fountain so that Indians knew which ones to use. The Buckhorn was shut down because of Indian Days. The Buckhorn was shut down because more Indians were coming to town. And the Buckhorn was shut down because Mendocino County’s white power said that “We need to control these wild drunken Indians.” I guess they figured if they shut down the Buckhorn, no Indians would come. But surprise, surprise, the Indians showed up anyway. So smoke that Mendocino’s finest. The black man thought that they had it bad. Well, what happened wasn’t good, but are they still going through it? It’s just another day of approved racism by the powers to be Mendoland.

It’s a sad day when law enforcement can openly call Native People “drunken Indians” and be patted on the back for it by their superiors. What’s even sadder is that no Native People stood up to say anything about what happened. It makes me wonder: where have all the Indians gone? Are there any left to keep our people above water? Or will we sink and finally be annihilated by this government whose purpose in the beginning was to do just that to all our Native People across the country.

I do hate to jump on a different subject but I really have no choice because once again the Council of the Hopland Band of Pomo Indians screw their people without a second thought. This is the one thing that the Council of the Hopland Band does for its tribal members: they screw them over every chance they get. This time all but one of the election committee has elected to allow three known drug addicts to run for Council. Drug tests were done on the would-be candidates who want to run for Council and three were positive for drugs. One of those who was tested is a current councilmember and the election committee for the tribe said that “it does not matter that these three individuals are using drugs, they have a right to be on the tribal council.”

Makes one think that the election committee’s shoe-in candidate was one of those who tested dirty so the committee had to do something to make sure that their candidate was not removed from running. According to the current Tribal Council and the election committee these are the kind of people they want in charge of our tribe. Not only that, another one of the would-be candidates is a known thief by his own words who stole money from the Hopland tribe to feed his own gambling addiction. He’s a self admitted thief and yet our current tribal council allows him to run for a council seat. If these are the type of people who are allowed to run our tribe, and for all we know have been running our tribe, it’s no wonder that the Hopland Band of Pomo Indians are so far in debt to the local white man.

I wish I could be on the Council. But we all know that will never happen. Well, maybe if I steal money from the tribe or become a drug user again, because the Tribal Council as well as the election committee sees fit for these types of characters to run are tribe. And these people have the nerve to promote a drug-free and no tolerance environment. What a joke.

Before I close I would like just like to remind the Council of something and I really hope that you listen and take what I have to say to heart because it’s really important and could change the course of the future for the tribe. Remember and never forget that “You are Indians, so start acting like it.” You really need to remember who and how Indians are because I truly believe you have forgotten. Also try to remember you were put in office for the tribal members. You were put there to do something to benefit the future of the tribe, not to build shooting ranges for the cops. Why do the tribal cops need a shooting range? Why? So the next time the tribal council decides to assassinate one of its tribal members you can do it on their own and not involve the Mendocino County Sheriff’s Department.

Signed:

Just one concerned Native

Hopland

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ADOPT-A-HIGHWAY

Open Letter To The Anderson Valley Community

from the Medical Marijuana Patients Union

A very strange thing has happened on Highway 128 outside of Boonville at the 24.84 mile marker — the Medical Marijuana Patients Union Adopt-A-Highway “recognition sign” has disappeared and the mendocino.com sign has replaced it.

Coming out of Boonville going west, there are now two mendocino.com signs, one after the other, and the former Patients Union sign is no longer there.

This has to be an act of vandalism because the sign outside of Philo is still intact. If it were an official CalTrans policy, the sign at the Philo end of the assigned route would have been removed as well. And CalTrans officials would normally be expected to contact us if there was a problem.

For example, we did have a regular problem of sign theft when we were located on Highway 1 at Elk. After three thefts, it was becoming inconvenient, so CalTrans moved us to 128, which has taken place without incident, until now.

I am appealing to the community to help us figure this out and help find out who is responsible for this wrong. It is more than random vandalism, because someone needed access to another mendocino.com sign to replace the one they removed.

Perhaps there is a connection with the recent Laura Hamburg dust-up, where her dispensary was made to feel unwelcome. And even though the purposes are different, this may also be designed to make the Patients Union feel unwelcome and unrecognized.

There is a distinct minority in this valley resistant to the inclusion and recognition of the medical cannabis community as equals, even though we are shrouded in medical rights approved by the voters.

The Patients Union has been picking up large amounts of litter on three highways for nine years (since 2003) in a concerted effort to perform a much needed service for the community and to pay our debt of gratitude to the voters.

Our purpose is to live well by doing good, and that means working for our rights.

According to previous AAH coordinator, Nita Brake, it was announced at one of CalTrans annual conventions that California had added the Medical Marijuana Patients Union to the roster of litter-picker-uppers and that they were out there doing the job. It was a positive topic of conversation. It was the first time the word marijuana had appeared on a permanent public sign anywhere in the country.

The Patients Union was originally told we’d be closely watched since this was a controversial first — no problem, we’re used to that. We’ve always been on our best behavior as we did our work picking up other people’s garbage. We’ve never had a complaint and our relations with CalTrans are positive. We do the job. What else is there to say?

California voters restored cannabis patients’ medical rights, but many people still consider us criminals, or phonies at best.

But actually, we are forerunners of the idea that it’s good for the soul to give back to society and it’s good for society to care about having a soul.

Pebbles Trippet, for MMPU

formed in Navarro, Dec 2000

Fort Bragg

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WILL

Editor,

A Review of the Movie ‘Will’—

Will is a story about a kid who lives in an orphanage, and runs away to Istanbul to see Liverpool play a soccer game. His dad had bought the tickets but then died, so Will’s buddies helped him run away in the night, and he took off across Europe by himself. He got as far as Paris when teenagers took his money. He met a guy from Serbia named Alek who used to play soccer. Together they go to Istanbul, meeting people and having adventures along the way.

I liked the movie because the story was interesting and funny. I liked the settings, too. My favorite character was Will because he was brave and kind.

Sam Douglass-Thomas

Boonville

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DEFENDING AMY

Dear Bruce,

I’ve been waiting years for the mention of AMY GOODMAN in the AVA. A “smug ideologue” he called her. Ya sure.

She comes on at 5am only in Homer, Alaska, the public radio staff there is one hour braver than Kodiak, Alaska, where it comes on at 4am. It stays under the radar cuz the Chambers of Commerce could never let her get prime time, but she’s got closer to it than anyone ever has, and all over the world too. There’s never been anyone like her and that’s hard for some to admit.

This blooper brings to mind Nicholas von Hoffman who I always enjoyed, brought down as I recall by a clever shot from Alex Cockburn on the topic of a national identity card. Years later I think a card would be nice so I could whisk thru airports easier.

Then there was Arthur Winfield Knight, a delightfully whimsical movie reviewer, besmirched in these pages by a shittail who then wrote his own movie reviews, unreadable things, and then sputtered out after a few months. I guess it was enough for him to be the guy that got AWK.

I heard some things about how Amy came to be. My memory is lousy but there’s the impression was she made some people unhappy. But that was then, and now is now. By any fair rating of her daily output of information you can’t get anywhere else, she’s the best there ever was and unfortunately probably ever will be. The writer (whose pieces I’ve always enjoyed) should do penance by faithfully listening to DEMOCRACY NOW for a few weeks, and we should all forgive him, make like it didn’t happen. It could have been any one of us no-account coffee house squabbler that made the slip.

John Finley

Kodiak, Alaska

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MONTH-TO-MONTH

To the Anderson Valley Community and Beyond,

First and foremost, we want to thank you all for all your support for All That Good Stuff. It has been overwhelming and incredibly heart-warming to know that ATGS means so much to you and to the community.

We also would like to make a clarification. Johnny, Roger and Melinda stated that they offered me and Claudia a two-three year lease. We were never given an opportunity to sign such a document. It had been discussed a couple of times and then pulled off the table. The last clear communication we had regarding the state of our tenancy at the Farrer Building was that we were on a month-to-month basis with no increase in the rent and that we would be given time to find a new location.

We want you to know that we are actively looking for a new location and as soon as we have found our new spot in town you will all be the first to know. We are confident that something will come up and that we will continue to serve the community and beyond as we have done here at the Farrer Building for the last 22 years.

So for the time being, please continue to find us at the Farrer Building. We look forward to a fresh new start, whenever and wherever that may be. We are grateful to hear from you all that you will support us wherever we go. Claudia and I are, and will be, forever grateful for your continuing support.

Leslie and Claudia

Boonville

PS. If you do have any ideas for us concerning a good spot for ATGS, please let US know. Thanks!

____________________________________________________

WILL

Editor,

A Review of the Movie ‘Will’—

Will is a story about a kid who lives in an orphanage, and runs away to Istanbul to see Liverpool play a soccer game. His dad had bought the tickets but then died, so Will’s buddies helped him run away in the night, and he took off across Europe by himself. He got as far as Paris when teenagers took his money. He met a guy from Serbia named Alek who used to play soccer. Together they go to Istanbul, meeting people and having adventures along the way.

I liked the movie because the story was interesting and funny. I liked the settings, too. My favorite character was Will because he was brave and kind.

Sam Douglass-Thomas

Boonville

This statement of defeat and imminent flight comes in an election year. Panetta’s speech was the first time any senior American official has publicly put the Afghan government and the Taliban, not to mention We the Peo­ple and Gov. Romney, on notice that Uncle Sam will be packing his bags well ahead of the all-troops-out dead­line of the end of 2014.

Big story? Initially, not everyone seemed to think so. The New York Times ran a dispatch on Feb 2 from Elisa­beth Bumiller in Brussels, but not in the top headline deck of its electronic edition. A bigger NYT headline the same day went to a story by Rod Nordland and Alissa Rubin, datelined Kabul, reporting that Taliban prisoners were tell­ing their US interrogators that they — the Tali­ban — were winning the war.

Finally Romney tottered from Donald Trump’s embrace to grasp at the issue of the Obama administra­tion providing further proof that the president is a traitor to the flag. “There are now hints from the White House that Panetta spoke out of turn. Before nailing himself to the colors, Romney should remember that his father lost a strong chance of winning the Republican nomination in 1968 after saying that he’d been “brainwashed” by the Pentagon during a visit to Vietnam.

Footnote: “Civilian deaths due to drones are not many, Obama says.” So that’s okay then. This was a headline in the New York Times for January 31, accu­rately reflecting Obama’s expressed views. It was back in the mid-1920s that my father Claud, then working as a night editor at the London Times, won a prize for writing the dullest headline actually printed in the Times for the following day. Headline: “Small earthquake in Chile. Not many dead.”

Tumbril Time!

A tumbril (n.) a dung cart used for carrying manure, now associated with the transport of prisoners to the guillo­tineiduring the French Revolution.

Quitting time in Afghanistan brings us back to “in harm’s way” — a phrase usually occurring in the same paragraph as “blood and treasure” which went to the guillo­tine last week amid particularly delighted cackles from the tricoteuses knitting in the Place de la Révolu­tion.

Among those pressing Prosecutor Fouquier-Tinville to haul “in harm’s way” into the dock was my brother Patrick, who was also trying to shove “go-to person” into the tumbrils. I use this phrase from time to time and felt a twinge. Fortunately, Patrick changed his mind, writing to me, “I have rather changed my mind on ‘Go-to per­son.’ ‘Sejanus, becoming known as the go-to person in the court of Tiberius’ — Easy to mock, but is there a word or phrase convey­ing same idea? I am not sure there is and uncertain Fou­quier-Tinville would have been wholly satisfied that it was a case for the tumbril.”

Denny Chericone advises that “For a good time if you haven’t seen it before — In Harm’s Way with The Duke, The Kirk, Henry Fonda, Patricia Neal, Franchot Tone, Franchot Tone!? All brought together by Otto Preminger. Worth a view because I’ve never seen a WWII movie shot in a bathtub before. Then you’ll really be looking for that tumbril.”

There can be no debate about “if you will,” a particu­lar favorite of the CNN crowd, and recommended to me for the fatal blade by Leslie Cockburn. The phrase serves the function of a pre-emptive apology every time the reporter or commentator makes something approaching a substan­tive statement. The late Christopher Hitchens used it a lot, archly. Off it goes to the tumbrils.

I’ve learned once more that it is always dangerous — if you will — to make any statement regarding sports history. Last week I cited CounterPuncher Jeremy Pikser on the source for “it’s not over till the fat lady sings.” Pikser wrote to say the phrase “was actually first popular­ized by the coach (or owner?) of the Baltimore Bullets basketball team in 1978.” James Blum promptly wrote that “your source on the Fat Lady was wrong in a detail, the NBA champion Bullets of Wes Unseld and Elvin Hayes were in Washington in 1978.” (Blum, thirsty for blood, added, “May I nominate for the tumbrils the pomo-prog ‘excavate’ and ‘unpack’?”

And then:

From: Richard Stack <rstack1@cogeco.ca>

Date: January 29, 2012 2:56:25 AM PST

Alex, Just a note on the actual origin of ‘It’s not over till the fat lady sings’. It is a line in an old 1930/40 movie with Wallace Beery and Jackie Coogan. The two of them are improbably at an opera. The kid says “When can we leave?” Beery says “ Not till it’s over” The kid says “When will be over?” Beery says “It ain’t over till the fat lady sings,” Regards R Stack.

It’s time too for clôture on “closure,” beloved of Ameri­can families mustered in front of prisons on execu­tion day. It’s an odious word, fragrant with fake feeling, with the cold breath of an undertaker lowering the coffin lid. Prosecutor Fouquier-Tinville is mustering the neces­sary docu­mentation and witnesses with his usual scrupu­lous attention to the rights of the accused.

From: Sandra Marr <marrsandra@gmail.com>

Date: January 28, 2012 2:52:06 PM PST

To: alexandercockburn@asis.com

Subject: For the tumbril

Hello Alex, Greetings from Guilford! Am I too late to propose ‘defending our freedom’; which seems to be the only way most media can talk about the activities of brutal US troops conducting appalling aggressions around the world? All the best, Sandra.

Finally, from this just in from Okinawa:

From: Douglas Lummis <ideaspeddler@gmail.com>

Alex, The bottom line is, to the tumbril with ‘the bot­tom line.’ I think it was about 15 or 20 years ago, sud­denly everybody was talking about ‘the bottom line.’ I asked around, The bottom line to what? Nobody seemed to know. On the bottom line of a letter is the signature. On the bottom line of an invoice is how much you owe. In fishing, I suppose a bottom line will be good for catch­ing bottom fish. In the language of seduction, pre­sumably the bottom line will be something obscene. In comedy, it would be the punch line. But in politics there is no bottom line, because there’s always the next page. — Doug Lummis

The Port Huron Statement — 50 Years On 

Fifty years ago a group of students in the American midwest issued a document rather portentously titled “The Port Huron Statement.” It was the founding mani­festo of Students for a Democratic Society (SDS), and became one of the most famous documents of that momentous and crea­tive decade.

Read any history of the upsurges in the United States in the 1960s written over the past three decades and you’ll at once encounter tributes to SDS as on the cutting edge of radical organizing — in the battles against racial discrimination, particularly in the South; in the protests against the Vietnam War; and more largely in the aim of young people in the 1960s to break the shackles of the cold-war consensus that had paralysed independent thought and spread fear of McCarthyite purges through the whole of what remained of the organized left in America, in the labor movement, the churches and in the universities.

SDS was founded in 1960 and in the summer of 1962 held its first convention just outside the Michigan town of Port Huron, on the US-Canadian border an hour’s drive north of Detroit. Presented to this gathering was a manifesto initially drafted by a former student at the University of Michigan — Tom Hayden — and revised by committee and finally delivered to the world as the Port Huron statement.

“We are people of this generation,” it began, “bred in at least modest comfort, housed now in universities, look­ing uncomfortably to the world we inherit. When we were kids the United States was the wealthiest and strongest country in the world: the only one with the atom bomb, the least scarred by modern war, an initiator of the United Nations that we thought would distribute Western influence throughout the world. …As we grew, however, our comfort was penetrated by events too trou­bling to dismiss…”

I’m going to leave you hanging there, because the remainder of this essay on the Port Huron statement is to be found in our latest newsletter, being released to subscribers over this weekend.

Alexander Cockburn can be reached at alexandercockburn@asis.com

Ironically, I heard the same thing 25 years ago when – against all odds and defying common sense – I decided to start a record label. Even more ironically, today’s naysayers will typically point to the 80s and 90s as some sort of golden age when anyone capable of walking and chewing gum at the same time could cobble together some shoestring operation that would quickly grow from selling 7’s out of your disheveled bedroom into a multi-million dollar monolith that could be flogged off to one of the major labels for an even bigger fortune as soon one of your “underground” artists broke through into mainstream success.

The fact that this actually did happen on occasion does nothing to diminish the reality that then, as now, most indie label owners never saw their pride and joy develop into more than an expensive hobby. It was a rare (and usually naive) individual who went into the business expecting to make money. If in 1987 you’d asked what sort of financial future I envisioned for Lookout Records, I would have said I was hoping, if things went very well indeed, not to lose too much money. Breaking even or coming out slightly ahead was about as wild as my dreams dared to get.

Nowadays people get annoyed when I tell them that, especially since when doing so I’m usually trying to demonstrate that it can be dangerous and self-defeating to assume you know what is or isn’t possible. “Yeah, it’s easy for you to talk,” I’m told. “You happened to luck out by starting your label right when everybody was having to re-buy their entire music collection on CD and before digital downloads came along and all but destroyed the retail music business.”

That does, in retrospect, look extremely lucky, but more to the point, I think, is the fact that in 1987 I had no way of knowing any of this was going to happen. I didn’t get involved in CDs until the beginning of the 90s (they weren’t “punk,” you know), and as for the digital revolution, well, when an early adopter tried to explain how this whole “internet” thing worked, I was left hopelessly befuddled. “Okay,” I kept asking him, “you hook up two computers so they can talk to each other? But what’s the point? What would a computer have to talk about?”

Still think it was a lot easier to bumble one’s way to success back in those days? You’re possibly right. When I get interviewed, one of the inevitable questions is, “Do you ever think about starting another record label?” My answer is always a resounding NO. Not just because the last one nearly drove me off the deep end, but also because I too would be intimidated by the seemingly bleak outlook facing the music business today.

But does that mean it can’t or shouldn’t be attempted? Quite the contrary. If I were 30 or 40 years younger, there’s every chance I’d be launching some sort of indie music venture, and tackling it with every bit as much enthusiasm, idealism and naiveté as I did the last time around. I can’t guarantee I’d be successful, but I’d give it a pretty good go.

“Aha!” you say. “You’re chickening out because you’re old and you’ve lost your passion.” Maybe that’s a little true, but it’s more a case of wanting to do other things now, like writing, and seeing the world. Besides, and perhaps most importantly, there are others who’ve taken up the challenge, others who are every bit as idealistic and motivated, and probably a lot smarter than I was when I first got the idea I could somehow run a record label. They’re doing all the things I would be trying to do if I were still in the business, signing the same bands, treating them openly and honestly, injecting a much-needed note of innovation and integrity into an industry that has seldom been noted for either.

I hesitate to start naming names, not because there aren’t many that deserve to be named, but because I would inevitably miss so many more. That being said, I do want to give shout-outs to a couple of my favorite indie labels. One is It’s Alive Records  in Orange County. Though the majority of their output comes in the form of vinyl records that I can’t even play because I don’t have a record player (I’m getting one soon, which will be nice, though I’m endlessly chagrined about having given away my 1970s Technics turntable a few years back on the assumption I wouldn’t be needing it anymore), they’re a source of endless inspiration, both for their honorable business practices and their sheer love of the same sort of music I myself love most.

Then there’s New Jersey’s Don Giovanni Records . Full disclosure: Joe Steinhardt and Zach Gajewski, the guys who run it, are friends of mine, and I’d be inclined to support any enterprise of theirs, music-related or not. But having watched their label grow for a few years now, I’m continually impressed by the way they’ve combined a well-run business with an artist-centered attitude, and in the process demonstrated that despite shifting formats, fragmenting markets, and wholesale disillusionment, it’s still possible, by following the same fundamental principles that have always underpinned a successful record label, to thrive and prosper.

One of the reasons Zach and Joe work so well with their artists is because they’re artists themselves: both have been in a variety of bands, perhaps none so notable as the much-loved but slightly star-crossed For Science. Known originally as Skynet (a reference to some science fiction show or movie that everybody except me is familiar with, and which I could quickly look up if I didn’t want to maintain the illusion that I’m immune to popular culture), they dropped that name for fear of lawsuits, left science fiction behind, and went for straight-up science.

They were playing around New York quite a bit around the time I moved here, but I must admit I didn’t really “get” them. Most of my friends were fans, some ravingly so, but every time I saw them it seemed as though one or more members would be drunk and/or otherwise impaired, and onstage chaos would ensue. I remember once asking in all seriousness, “Why doesn’t somebody get those drunk guys off stage so the band can play?” not realizing that they were the band.

“Yeah, sometimes they’re a mess when they play live,” my friends would tell me, “but you have to hear their records.” Which I never did, because, as you’ll remember, I didn’t have a record player. Then one day a new lean, mean and sober version of For Science rolled into an afternoon show at the Cake Shop and I was not only amazed, but grudgingly had to admit, “Yeah, I guess maybe they’re not so bad after all.” Shortly after that, the band imploded, thanks to a member’s LSD freakout (who does that in the 21st century?) and other murky circumstances that don’t need to be delved into here.

End of story, until quite recently, when a) I got a digital copy of two For Science albums; and b) it was rather abruptly announced that For Science were reuniting and would be playing the annual Don Giovanni showcase next weekend in Brooklyn (I say “rather abruptly” because I was somehow under the impression that certain members were never going to speak to each other again; once again, I was proved to be wrong, wrong, wrong). And the other news is that I’ve now listened to the digital albums a couple times and, whoa, my friends weren’t lying. This band really is good. Really, really good. And though they’ll be sharing the stage with such luminaries as Screaming Females and Laura Stevenson and the Cans, chances are that For Science will end up stealing the show, either through the sheer exuberance of their fans welcoming them back to life, or because… well, who really knows what could happen? It’s not the kind of band you’d want to make predictions about.

One prediction, however, that is a safe bet: you won’t want to miss this. Last I heard, tickets weren’t sold out yet, but probably will be soon.

1980 … 21.3%,
1985 … 18.5%,
1990 … 21.0%,
1995 … 24.5%,
2000 … 25.2%,
2004 … 32.6%,
2008 … 36%

2008 being the year the Big Ponz took a Big Bounce, Zero-Tax Filers are undoubtedly now an even larger percentage of the population because more and more people simply don’t have the money to pay up even if they were inclined to. 2008, incidentally, was the last year these stats were released.

Editor,

Something Wicked This Way Comes is, of course, the famous line from the Shakespearean play Macbeth, which forewarns of an impending ominous, dangerous and traitorous entity.

Fast-forward from the seventeenth century, to a real threat we now potentially face in Mendocino County, which is perhaps no less insidious or alarming; with modern day wide-reach and consequence for the entire county.

The proposed Harris Quarry Expansion Project, is the benign-sounding name of a determined push to install a 300 ton per hour asphalt manufacturing plant neighboring the LaVida school, Christ’s Church of the Golden Rule and Golden Rule senior residential park, which are proximate to the famous Seabiscuit Ranch- former home of legendary race horse Seabiscuit. The Bountiful Gardens research garden and cherry orchard are also nearby. Further, this proposal seeks to ambitiously involve the entire County through zoning changes specifically allowing heavy industrial / manufacturing uses on land designated in the General Plan as ” RL-Range lands”; which includes 90 % of the private property in Mendocino County. Everyone’s “back yard” in Mendocino County could potentially be vulnerable if the designers and proponents of this plan get their way. There is legitimate concern the so-called Mineral Processing Combining District Overlay feature of this proposal is an add-on, benefiting special interests. Sooner or later this (ear-mark) may affect unsuspecting citizens County-wide, in a very up-close and personal way.

Many are concerned that this movement which is portrayed ostensibly as a need for a single asphalt plant, is actually a much farther-reaching agenda “opening the door” to manufacturing related development of not only more asphalt plants around the county; but also possibly for the development of oil refineries (to accommodate off-shore drilling), natural gas, geothermal and concrete manufacturing plants, along with a whole host of other activities which could bring adverse and unforeseen consequences heaped upon a surprised, non-informed citizenry.

For those of us appropriately concerned with Mendocino’s economic future, it is important to note, objections are not anti-business in spirit. A careful reading of the Environmental Impact Report’s “fine print” reveals an admission that only 4 local jobs might be generated if the Harris Quarry asphalt plant becomes a reality. Compare this with the real fear of more employment losses due to discouragement of tourism along with plummeting property values which could result from inevitable environmental pollution from the asphalt plant on Ridgewood Summit- the highest point of land along Highway 101. It is arguable that an already struggling tax base could be further compromised. Heavily loaded, polluting, over sized trucks would dominate and slow traffic on Hwy 101 at this dangerous intersection. An unsightly and incongruous, smelly smokestack looming over an otherwise pristine countryside, and night time lights would point the way to the historic Seabiscuit Ranch; and serve as monument and beacon to poor planning and short-sighted subservience to special interests. Is this the template we want to approve county-wide ? This may be a plan bringing an evil wind that blows no good- to a property near you.

The voluminous, complex and expensively produced report called an Environmental Impact Report has been fashioned by all the proper authorities and advocates on the subject. Public outcry had forced the Applicant to withdraw and re-submit as inadequacies and deficiencies were exposed. A continually changing, re-adjusting, and morphing project has strained the patience and resources of a weary public addressing a moving target- but the resolve remains firm.

Recently, it has been announced that Ignacio Gonzales, Planning Director for Mendocino County, and (prior) former Special County Consultant on this same project- has resigned. It has been reported that Director Gonzales left for greater challenges and higher compensation in Santa Clara County. This begs the question: Should the citizens of this County be saddled for generations to come, with what many consider an ill-conceived, complex, poorly explained, far reaching zoning change that would allow industrial expansion throughout the county ? A plan designed, and engineered, if not advocated, by individuals who may not be here to deal with the profound long term adverse consequences !

The Planning Commissioners are scheduled to make recommendations to the Mendocino County Board of Supervisors very soon. The BOS is the ultimate authority representing the citizens of Mendocino County. This board will be asked to vote yes or no, or suggest alternatives. Please voice your concern and let the Board know how you feel by contacting your District Representative, or by reaching the Board collectively by e-mailing: bos@co.mendocino.ca.us

Please help bring this proposal out of the shadows and into the clear light of public scrutiny. Let’s confine “Something Wicked” to the pages of fiction- and out of the back yards of Mendocino County.

Jack Magné

For Keep The Code

Willits

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E-BUSSES?

Letter –

Education in peril without school buses or Internet

No school buses AND insufficient high speed Internet coverage for both kids and adults in their homes is double whammy for rural California. It is a sad AND unacceptable situation for kids whose parents may find it a hardship to get them to and from school. If all residences had high speed Internet, young people could be educated from home and not need to worry about the school bus cuts. The Leggett Valley Unified school district started an online K-12 program last fall as the Lost Coast Virtual Academy as a pilot program for Mendocino County. This might be the wave of the future as the government gets more distant to the realities in the really rural areas. One more reason to demand high speed Internet as a must have in the 21st century and support the Broadband Alliance in their efforts to get all residences connected.

May Peace Prevail on Earth.

Shirley Freriks

Broadband Alliance of Mendocino County

Albion

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NOT AS REPORTED

Editor,

I’m a Philo part-timer; but I live in Berkeley mostly. I am a retired lawyer. For political reference, I was a founder and co-chair of the progressive caucus in the California Democratic Party and a lifelong progressive activist. I am a friend and strong supporter of Norman Solomon in the 2nd CD race. I am also an elected member of the KPFA local station board. I was therefore horrified/amused by the reference to our station in the Off the Record column in early January referring to, and wildly mis-stating, the nature of the struggle at KPFA and Pacifica. The short description of that battle is that it is about several things: local control, and a sound that will attract and keep listener-subscribers.

The majority of the elected local board believes in the quaint notion that those of us elected by the local listener-members should have a modicum of control over our station. The reality is that, in November 2010, the Pacifica Executive Director summarily purged the paid staff, eliminated the most popular and most remunerative program — the Morning Show — and its staff, without so much as consultation with the local station management or board, and has proceeded to run the station high-handedly ever since. The fight is not so much over content, although there is a continuing undercurrent of vilification of Democratic Party activists (of which — see above — I am one) which I see the AVA has repeated. A lot of folks in the Democratic Party consider our progressive politics in no way related to Nancy Pelosi. I was the author, for example, of the resolution censuring Dianne Feinstein for, essentially, being too conservative. It was the progressive caucus that passed a resolution strongly critical of Obama and mentioning the heresy of a possible primary challenge. I subscribe to the belief that the two party system is currently the only game in town (I was a Henry ‘Wallace supporter in 1948 and a Peace and Freedom Party member in the 1960′s) and if you want to fight for social justice now, you can rail from the sidelines, or you can get in and get dirty.

But that is not what the fight at the station is about; the Democratic Party issue is straw man, a subterfuge to cover the far more mundane, local issues involved. The local board majority supporting the recall consists of socialists, independents, Greens, and progressive democrats. No one is trying to turn the station into a mouthpiece for any point of view. The board majority retains the notion that local management should run the station, that it should have a professional format and sound, that it should speak truth to power and that it should not be the mouthpiece of any tendency or faction. Or party.

The recall campaign is related to the two issues mentioned above. Ms. Rosenberg is vulnerable in both categories, and has committed many offenses against local control, as well as others detailed in the campaign. It is true that she is “committed,” but to what, other than her self-aggrandizement? As most of your readers don’t hear or subscribe to the station, I will not bore them with the intimate details. But I thought it important to correct the one-sided diatribe in the AVA earlier this month.

Respectfully,

Malcolm Burnstein

Philo/Berkeley
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CHEAP SHOTS

Dear Editor:

We need the AVA. It is the only media outlet that provides real — read true — political information in Mendocino County. It also provides good writing on a variety of subjects — for example Todd Walton — and it has an excellent “open letters policy” which permits negativity.

It should be more widely read but it is not. Much of what the AVA terms “coast lib” won’t read it although it is the best, often only source of information on issues that concern them.

Why is this the case? I believe it is because of the mean-spirited, cheap shot writing that occurs. This was formerly the bailiwick of the esteemed editor, but now that age has mellowed him it is practiced by Bruce McEwen. I believe lines such as, “He responds to his wife’s hand signals with the alacrity of a well-trained Jack Russell terrier,” whether accurate or not, tends to drive away more readers than his pandering to the desire for distraction that our entertainment oriented population attracts.

Although I rarely have the fortitude to read an entire McEwen story, in spite of my hope that his reporting on the failures of the justice system might help to bring about change, I recognize that crime reporting sells papers.

Since I would like to see the AVA thrive, I suggest that the editor edit with an eye to distinguishing humor from gratuitous cruelty.

Peter Lit

Elk

PS. How can it be a “major fubar” if replacement copies are being sent?

Ed reply: “He responds to his wife’s hand signals with the alacrity of a well-trained Jack Russell terrier.” Mean-spirited? Cheap shot? Are you kidding? Everyone in the courtroom remarked on it. I call it good reporting, and McEwen’s by far the best court reporter around. Crimeny, Pete, we can’t all be Charlie Acker! PS. Combined website and hard copy, the AVA is easily the most read publication in the county which, granted, isn’t saying much in the country where most people get all their information from television. But only us and the PD reach every area of Mendo from Mina to Gualala. This fact distresses lots of people, lockstep libs especially. Always has.

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MEMO TO KENDALL SMITH

Editor,

Let me be clear. Actually, now more than ever, in terms of a level playing field, all options are on the table, if you will. At this point in time, we are cautiously optimistic but must be proactive with a sustainable footprint — on the ground in real time, at the end of the day. Iconic? Not so much.

Jeff Costello

Portland

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NITT & MEWT

Editor,

Mitt and Newt. Newt and Mitt. Do we need any more evidence that the process has been hijacked, that the system is broken? Richie Rich and Baron von Munchausen vying for the opportunity to spend the summer and early fall making Wall Street’s errand boy in the White House look like the sane and reasonable option. Is anybody still not convinced that we’re fast approaching, if not already arrived at, a state of irreparable civic wreckage?

When the media monsters and networks leveraged out the League of Women Voters and took over managing and presenting the debates, it felt as though the adults had left the room and headed for the SuperPac slot machines, leaving the children behind glued to a teevee offering a continuous repeating loop of Fear Factor.

How would you like to have been the Texas businessman who got excited when Rick Perry threw in his hat, donating $50,000 to the campaign in hopes of gaining privileged access once the Governor moved into the White House, only to find out a couple of short weeks later that yes, Virginia, there really is a candidate who can appear so stupid that even the pig people and teabaggers can’t bring themselves to vote for him. Must have felt like that time he met that little gal at the bar of the Convention Center, bought her services for the whole night, only to wake up in the morning and find the bed empty and his wallet gone. Well, don’t take it too hard, Tex, there’s a whole lot of us feeling that way these days.

In fact, I’m thinking that it’s high time to just opt out. Let’s sit this one out and stay at home next November. Let them think that we’re too busy out in the garage sharpening the pitchforks to be bothered with going to the polls.

But if you absolutely must go, be sure to vote outside The Choice. Vote for Pat Paulsen, Leonard Peltier, Stephen Colbert, Barry Commoner, Ralph Nader, Gus Hall, or even Ron Paul if you’re so inclined. It doesn’t really matter what alternative you choose, just as long as you let them know that you’re no longer buying into their game. Because the only vote that means anything now is the vote that refuses to legitimize the farce.

Michael DeLang

Coal Creek Canyon, Colorado

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WOMEN & CHILDREN LAST

Editor:

I just rec’d this via email from an old friend:

The current plight of the Costa Concordia reminds me of a comment made by Winston Churchill. After his retirement, he was cruising the Mediterranean on an Italian cruise liner. Some Italian journalists asked him why an ex-British Prime Minister would choose an Italian ship.

“There are three things I like about being on an Italian cruise ship,” said Churchill. “First, the cuisine is unsurpassed. Second, their service is superb. Then, in time of emergency, there is none of this nonsense about women and children first.”

Best regards,

Bart Boyer

San Diego

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MEDIUM MATTERS

Ye Editor,

The page number mixup and the mere eight pages of the January 11 issue represented but the iceberg’s tip.

I address you as co-author with Mr. McEwen of “The Newspaper Did It.” The newspaper did, indeed. You write here of “exactly one media.” The words “exactly one” definitely sounds like singular to me and, gents, the singular is definitely “medium,” and the plural alone is “media.” Later in the same article you refer to “a single media,” and I cringe to see this egregious error compounded. When are you going to shoot (or hire) the copy editor over there?

Kick this fool out when you dispose of that dumb ass spellchecker which doesn’t know a homonym from a hominy or a homily. I know you had recent ill health and you are terribly busy and you have only one reporter and so on and blah blah. But when stuff like this goes out under the editor’s byline, well… I would hate to imply that you sound like out of the illiterate backwoods, but sometimes, well, really.

Chugging right along, keep up those worthy words.

Carol Pankovits

Fort Bragg

PS. Oh, and Major? The word “ablutions” refers just do the washing part, the cleansing with water. You can look it up, as Casey Stengel said.

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WHAT’S WITH YOU PEOPLE?

Editor,

I love that little All That Good Jazz Stuff in Loonieville.

I always stop on my way home from “civilization” back to Fort Bragg and check out what funky stuff is in there now.

What’s with you people in Anderson Valley? Where are the torches and pitchforks?

You can just bet there will be some uptight overpriced doodad “shoppe” with coordinating organic earthtones taking its place or worse, a tasting room.

You can always get them back where it hurts: their wallets.

The landlords are Johnny Schmitt who owns the Boonville Hotel and the restaurant inside and Roger Scomegna who owns Signal Ridge Winery. Boycott them! Show your outrage. Don’t referr people to the landlords’ own businesses. Don’t buy Signal Ridge wine. Don’t stay or eat at the Boonville Hotel.

Talk to them, e-mail them, write them, and tell them that the evicting All That Good Jazz is a crappy idea.

What the hell are you waiting for? Put down his newspaper and call them!

Paddy Whitcomb

Fort Bragg

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GREEN-UP, UKIAH

Editor,

Greenbelt — Less Wal-Mart

Fifty to 75 years ago, the Ukiah Valley was still a beautiful place. The valley floor would be covered with deep blue lupines and golden poppies. Today you have to search for lupines and poppies for seed saving. Have we lost our appreciation for nature’s paintbrush? So much so that we bulldoze, pave, build and destroy all of the natural world which provides a quality of life beyond the business practices of shopping and earning money? What’s wrong with Wal-Mart’s plan to expand its store? Looks like everything to me.

Why should taxpayers be asked to subsidize the obscenely wealthy Wal-Mart/Walton family through food stamps and the food bank programs to feed poorly paid Wal-Mart employees? The Ukiah co-op and the other stores pay living wages. Why doesn’t the greedy Wal-Mart corporation pay equally fair wages to all its employees?

Wal-Mart wants to expand its paved areas with more asphalt in a floodplain, dumping more automobile pollution into the Russian River — more traffic — more air pollution in a valley which suffers from summer air inversions trapping pollution close to the valley floor — more water usage when climate change challenges us with many unknowns such as alternating drought and flooding.

If Wal-Mart were to demonstrate goodwill towards our community, Wal-Mart would donate anywhere from $1 million-$10 million toward the construction of a greenbelt along the Russian River, a walking park with bicycle paths to include riparian habitat restoration, wildlife protection and wildflower and native plantings. Such a greenbelt would truly benefit Ukiah/Haiku as parks like this have revitalized and restored downtowns and abandoned city areas all over this country. Ukiah could be an example of a progressive community instead of a regressive one choosing predatory capitalism. We need to green our city. The Open Space Council, Audubon Society, Ukiah Trails, Mendocino Land Trust, California Native Plant Society need to join together, organize for local sovereignty, instead of corporate predation of our wealth. Think of Wal-Mart as an invasive species. Look at how the wildly spreading thorn-covered gorse has overtaken our coastal grasslands, pampas grass too. Inland, observe the spreading of toxic star thistle which is so difficult to remove.

All of us joined together can create a powerful coalition for change. Why should citizens have to beg a panel of unaccountable bureaucrats to rule in the best interests of our community? Progressive communities have begun to discharge their planning commissions in favor of citizens’ coalitions and liaisons. Perhaps this will be necessary to accomplish the long-term revitalization of our city.

Occupy!

Dorotheya M. Dorman

Redwood Valley

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GOING TO KUWAIT PARTY

Editor,

Staff Sergeant Steven Alvarez is a May 2005 graduate of Anderson Valley High School, grandson of Harold and Shirley Hulbert, son of Baldimar Alvarez and Melody Perez. He finished boot camp at Fort Jackson, South Carolina, then went on to train in diesel mechanics. He has been to Aberdeen proving grounds in Maryland, Fort Lewis in Washington State, Vilsec, Germany, then in Iraq for 18 months. For the last two years he has made his home in Pleasanton, California, working for Lockheed-Martin. Soon he will leave again for Kuwait as an employee of Lockheed-Martin.

We will have a farewell potluck dinner for him on Saturday, February 11 at 5:30pm at the Senior Center in Boonville. Everyone is welcome to come, eat, say good luck and give him our goodbyes.

Shirley Hulbert

Boonville

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NOT SO PINK SLIPS

Dear Editor,

In January, the Point Arena Unified Board of Trustees went over the 2011-2012 Mid-Year Trigger Cuts during the Point Arena School Board Meeting. Last year, 2011-2012, the district’s ending balance was $1,594,225. This year 2012-2013, if the projection holds up, it looks like the district will have an ending balance of $1,221,153. Of course, this is not how it was reported in the Independent Coast Observer which stated Superintendent Cross told them, “The mid-year cut means the district projects to deficit spend into its reserve as much as $430,000 for 2011-2012.” The trustee “reserve” budget for emergency spending is approximately $2 million. At the meeting when discussing the failing budget, Trustee DeWilder quickly added that “we have the Action Network’s Lawsuit to thank for this.”

Let’s be realistic. Action Network obtained a grant for the students. It was a School Safety & Violence Prevention Grant to the tune of over $362k. This grant started approximately two to three years ago and will end in 2013-14. What did Action Network get from the suit against the district? The ICO reported they received $25K. I am not sure why DeWilder is looking a gift horse in the mouth. This year it allowed the district to use the entire amount to for “Instructional Salaries.” I am sure there are other schools which would greatly appreciate having more funds for instructional use instead of grumbling about it.

The ICO also reported that Cross “was authorized to distribute pink slips to an undetermined number of certificated employees…” I called Dr. Cross and inquired as to what positions are being eliminated from the district and was informed the “pink slips” would not happen until the due date of March 15th. I asked her to keep me informed when it does happen.

I will keep you updated!

Respectfully,

Suzanne L. Rush,

Manchester

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SAME OLD SAME OLD

Editor,

Once again, President Obama talks the talk of equality and fairness, but walks the walk of special privilege for the rich.

Sure, increasing the capital gains tax from 15% to 30% is a great step, but the top rate on ordinary income is still higher at 35%. Plus, those in the middle class pay a higher percentage in sales tax, property tax, payroll tax, etc.

So Obama’s proposal is still a special gift from those whose income is mostly labor to those whose income is mostly investment. Are we going to fall for the Republican good cop, Democrat bad cop routine again? Why not simply have the same tax brackets for any income, regardless of its source? The added revenue would be all that’s needed to put the Federal budget back in the black, just as it was under Clinton, before Bush cut taxes on the rich with the capital gains tax break in the first place.

Fletcher Goldin

Tracy

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ALL IN ONE, ONE FOR ALL

Editor,

We want to thank the Mendocino County Fire Safe Council, the good works of Executive Director Julie Rogers and Colin Wilson of the Anderson Valley Fire Dept. for sending help to trim back our driveway and yard making our home safe from fire and our road access open, safe and available for emergency equipment if either we or our neighbors are ever in need.

The crew run by Aaron Peterson’s All-IN-1 tree service who came for a FULL day was friendly and professional and left our property safe and cleaned-up.

The program funded through MCFSC is much needed and most appreciated.

We thank you from the bottom of our hearts for this amazing gift.

Barbara & John Stephens~Lewallen

Philo

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WELL, SHUCKS, ANYTIME

Editor,

Occupy the Courts: a Phenomenal Success!

Thanks to you and many others, our “Occupy the Courts” events on January 20 turned out better than we ever imagined! Events protesting Citizens United took place at 138 federal courthouses, in parks and plazas, and at the Supreme Court.

Far too numerous to mention here (including over 1200 print/online articles and 450+ TV/radio clips!), please check here for a round-up of the news stories.

We were able to stage protests at federal courthouses in 48 states, and bring thousands upon thousands of our fellow citizens out on a week-day, in the middle of winter.

It was a measure of the great grassroots organizing going on within this coalition.

Amending the Constitution to abolish corporate personhood requires us to work in our own communities to build support for it. “Occupy the Courts” show us that when we all pull together, we succeed. So pat yourself on the back for a job well done!

Going forward, Move to Amend will continue to lead the fight against corporate personhood and “money is speech.” In order to do so, and meet the growing demand for information and resources, we have recently upgraded our database to better serve you.

You’ve probably already noticed that our emails look a little different. Our new system has improved our communications ability tenfold and offers a lot more flexibility — but it does come at an expense.

Help us succeed in all of our efforts — become a sustaining member today!

“Occupy the Courts” taught us that when we are able to focus attention on our mission instead of on raising money, we can accomplish great things.

If every Move to Amend member contributed just $10 a month  (the cost of a movie ticket) we could focus our attention entirely on the Movement to Amend and passing the 28th Amendment.

Please become a Move to Amend monthly sustaining donor!

In solidarity,

Ben Manski, Nancy Price, David Cobb, Leesa “George” Friday, Jerome Scott, Kaitlin Sopoci-Belknap, Lisa Graves, Laura Bonham

Move to Amend Executive Committee, Wherever USA

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NOT THE SALOON?

Gentlemen…

Amongst all the turmoil and scandal of the stories featuring J. Schmitt and All that Good Stuff , the High School Fight Club and its accompanying student suspensions, and the P.T.A. financial irregularities, perhaps the most disturbing piece of news I have heard this past few days is that The Boonville Saloon (formerly The Boonville Lodge) is closing and the liquor license being sold to an establishment in Pt. Arena… If this is true we may never get one back here in the Valley… Say it ain’t so.l

Steve Sparks

Philo

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MENDO SOLAR!

Editor,

Mendocino Solar Service has been recognized by SunPower Corporation as a Premier Dealer. The promotion to premier dealership is a recognition of the volume of SunPower systems installed by Mendocino Solar Service (MSS) to date, the excellent record of customer satisfaction, and the advanced training taken by Mendocino Solar Service staff. SunPower Corporation is the market leading solar manufacturer with the highest efficiency panel available. MSS have installed over 600 kilowatt of solar systems in Mendocino county and northern Sonoma county. Mendocino Solar Service staff is thrilled to further their ability to provide the community with renewable energy.

For more information, Please contact

Maggie Watson @ 937-1701

Mendocino

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THINGS FALL APART

AVA,

As staunch and really are carted off to the recycle bin let us bring on erg and joule and let the housewife dwell on the second law of thermodynamics and entropy as she hits the reheat button on her microwave.

Harold Ericsson

Harbor City

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EYES ONLY

To those concerned…

Last Friday the parties actually involved in the lease negotiations of “All That Good Stuff” met to pick up where we left off a few weeks back. Leslie has been offered a two-three-year lease, pretty much the same deal offered prior to the Steve Sparks article. This is with no rent increase or long-term obligation on her part should she decide to find a suitable space sooner. While some would view this as an eviction, others view this as generous notice.

For those who would like to help Leslie and Claudia succeed, what we can do is help them look for a future location for “All That Good Stuff.” If anyone has positive suggestions or has a suitable building they would like to rent, please let us know. If you still have the need to sling mud, please reconsider, as you are only hurting the parties involved as well as the community we love.

Johnny, Roger and Melinda

Boonville

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FOUR YEARS AGO…

Open letter to media:

I’m appalled at the amount of airtime and press coverage devoted to the presidential primaries. It’s just another example of how the corporate media decides what is “news”. Instead of news of important issues or events, we are exposed to corporate candidates who debate the issues that the corporate world frames for us to hear. Those outside the mainstream, who wish to debate real issues, are quickly sidelined as being “unelectable” (anyone not selected by the two main parties).

I have come to expect as much from NPR, but now I have the same complaint about Democracy Now! and Free Speech Radio News. I have depended on these sources to give me REAL news, but they, too, are now featuring hot items from the Dem and Repub “Dog and Pony” shows.

This major distraction occupies the front pages of most print media, as well. It has even crept into the pages of the AVA.

Please – Amy, FSRN and AVA, spare us from the daily updates of these meaningless “news” reports and get back to your real news items.

Thanks,

Bruce Hering,

Boonville

Ed note: We defy anyone to find an unironic reference to any of the candidates of either party in this fine publication.

Marcia and I were walking on Big River Beach yesterday, the wet sand firm underfoot—Big River swollen and muddy from the recent deluge, a light rain falling.

As we reveled in the windy wet, free from our various indoor practices, our conversation ran from gossip to silence to politics to silence to memoir to silence to what we might have for supper. And at some point Marcia asked me about a speaking engagement I’ve accepted, a keynote address at a writers’ conference, the dreaded topic—The Creative Process—chosen for me by the conference planners. I say dreaded because I think most of what I’ve ever read about the so-called creative process is hogwash, and I fear that anything I might add to the dreaded subject would be hogwash, too.

Long ago I worked in a day care center overseeing a mob of little kids. The day care center was located ten minutes from Stanford University and we were forever being visited by earnest graduate students writing theses about educational techniques, educational philosophies, educational processes, and God knows what else pertaining to mobs of little kids. Having no degree of any kind, let alone a degree in Small Child Management, I found it highly amusing to be the frequent recipient of attention from these humorless academics, some of whom, I’ll wager, went on to author textbooks for aspiring nursery school teachers, kindergarten teachers, and other Small Child Management educators. Could it be that information gathered from interviews with me conducted by these earnest humorless people helped shape curricula for early childhood education in America? I hope so, but I doubt it.

One day as I was supervising my mob of kiddies in our outdoor playground, a woman named Stella, a doctoral candidate at Stanford, stood beside me, clipboard in hand, asking questions about my supervisory process, a process I had theretofore never tried to elucidate to anyone.

Stella: I note at this time that all the children seem to be safely and happily occupied. I have recorded a current population distribution of one group of five children, two groups of three, four dyads, and three solitary individuals. Would you say this is a typical distribution of the total?

Todd: Um…well, certainly not atypical.

Stella: Would you characterize these as established groups or new and/or developing configurations?

Todd: The configurations are ever changing, though girls tend to hang out with girls, and boys with boys, especially among four and five-year olds. Two and three-year olds tend to be more gender polyrhythmic, if you know what I mean.

Stella: (makes a note) We’ll come back to gender aggregates, but for now I’m curious to know what specific actions you took to precipitate this particular distribution of individuals and groups, and if you employed any specific techniques for settling the children into these successful play actions?

Todd: Are you serious?

Stella: Yes. I have noted zero incidents of crying, fighting, or moping in the entire population for over fifteen minutes now, which defines these play actions and this particular population distribution as successful.

Todd: Could you repeat the question?

Stella: (reading) What techniques did you employ for settling the children into these successful play actions?

Todd: Let me think about that for a minute. (shouting across the playground at a five-year-old boy about to destroy a sand castle just completed by a four-year-old girl) Don’t do it, Lance.

Stella: Wow. (flips to a new page) Would you characterize that as a tone-based warning or a content-based warning?

Todd: Both. And now if you’ll excuse me, Megan is about to slug Bianca and I would like to intervene before their play action becomes highly unsuccessful.

“In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.”— Yogi Berra

I want to be helpful to people who aspire to write, so I will try to come up with an inspiring keynote address—because inspiration can sometimes get the ball rolling—though in truth there is no “the creative process.” Each of us has to roll our own ball our own way, and that’s all there is to it: rolling your own creative ball. I use rolling to mean doing, acting, working—everything else is just talking about rolling, which is not the same as rolling, believe you me.

“It is a sad fact about our culture that a poet can earn much more money writing or talking about his art than he can by practicing it.” — W.H. Auden

Thirteen years ago I published The Writer’s Path, a book of my original writing exercises, and before the silly publisher took the book out-of-print, The Writer’s Path sold ten thousand copies with never a penny spent to promote that most helpful tome. Excellent used copies of The Writer’s Path can be found on the interweb for mere pennies plus the dreaded shipping charge.

I designed each exercise in the book to be a non-analytical way to practice a particular aspect of the writing process (not to be confused with the creative process.) For instance, many writers (as in most writers) have big trouble rewriting their initial drafts. Among the many underlying causes of this big trouble are: 1) rewriting skills are developed through thousands of hours of practice, and very few people are willing to work so hard for so little in return 2) rewriting is all about change, and most people are deathly afraid of change 3) rewriting reveals the inadequacies of the original drafts, and such revelations, especially for beginning writers, can be huge bummers.

So I came up with a series of exercises involving the swift creation and destruction and re-creation and re-destruction and re-creation of lines of words, intuitive processes that obviate fear and short-circuit analytical thinking—the great enemy of spontaneous word flow—to give writers invigorating rewriting workouts.

Writing, drawing, and playing music are muscular activities as well as mental processes, and I have no doubt that all original stories, pictures, and songs result from synergetic collaborations of our physical muscles with our cerebral muscles, along with valuable input from unseen agents of the unknowable, if you believe, as I do, in such fantastic nonsense.

“The world is a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.” — Sean O’Casey

When at 19 I embarked on a vagabond’s life and could not take a piano with me, I bought a guitar in the sprawling mercado of Guadalajara and taught myself how to play. A year later, having spent a good thousand hours developing a thumb-dominant style of picking and strumming, I stood on a sidewalk in Toronto, strumming and singing. And lo a miracle befell me. Yea verily, dozens of smiling Canadians threw coins and paper money into my dilapidated cardboard guitar case and thenceforth I was a professional musician. Not long after that initial sprinkle of heavenly largesse, I bought a much better guitar and for a time made a minimalist living as a troubadour.

Eventually my piano regained supremacy in my musical life and my guitar became (and remains) a sometimes friend. Two years ago, Marcia and I produced two groovacious CDs of instrumentals and songs featuring guitar and cello (When Light Is Your Garden and So Not Jazz), though of late my focus is on piano improvisations and Marcia is happily immersed in various classical music pursuits. But I digress.

What I set out to say was that I became a highly functional guitarist through thousands of hours of practice, and I always—this is key—used a thumb pick (on my right thumb) when I played the guitar. And then a few years ago I made a startling discovery, which was that unless my right thumb was actively involved in the playing of a tune, I (this body brain spirit consortium) had no idea where to put the fingers of my left hand to make the chords for any of the songs I knew. That is to say, my right thumb, for all intents and purposes, is the only part of me that really knows how to play my songs.

“People who write about spring training not being necessary have never tried to throw a baseball.” — Sandy Koufax

Marcia’s mother Opal is ninety-three and still drives her car all over Santa Rosa where she lives in her own apartment in a commodious retirement community. Two years ago, Opal took up pocket billiards, otherwise known as pool, playing twice a week with friends in the billiards room across the hall from the ping-pong room. When Marcia and I go to visit Opal, we play three or four games of pool with her every night, Marcia and Opal teamed up against Todd, their dyad getting two turns for every one of mine, which makes for a fairly even contest.

What I find most inspiring about Opal learning to play pool so late in life is that every time we play with her, she not only plays better than when we last played, she plays much better.

Todd and Marcia’s CDs are available at Gallery Bookshop in Mendocino and from UnderTheTableBooks.com  and NavarroRiverMusic.com.

Await a presidential State of the Union address with keen anticipation? It’s like saying one looks forward to taking a niece to the Nutcracker. The last time I truly enjoyed one — the speech, not the ballet — was Bill Clinton’s in 1998, and it wasn’t because of anything he said. It was his terrific aplomb, despite the fact that the Lewinsky scandal was breaking over his head. He was rewarded with a bounce of ten points, from 59 to 69 per cent popular approval. The message was clear. We, the people, couldn’t care less about Monica. In fact, we the people thoroughly approve. The following year, the US Senate was trying him for impeachment, after months of steady servings in the press of Monica’s semen-stained dress, and here was Bill as bouncy as ever, rock solid at 69 per cent.

Normally, the American people don’t set much stock by State of the Union addresses. Half the times Ronald Reagan — the Great Communicator — gave the annual State of the Union address across his two terms in office, he promptly sank in the polls by 3 or 4 points. People turned on the tv set, gasped and said, “He’s the presi­dent?”

By all rights, Obama should be a natural at the job. The desired mix is inspirational — his forte — and notion­ally programmatic, though the history books are knee deep in empty pledges made on such occasions. But somehow the methodical rhythms of Obama’s high-minded eloquence has a narcotic effect on me.

Last year Obama said the American people did “big things,” omitting to qualify this with the fact that mostly they’re big stupid things. This year the menu seemed to be a potpourri of things big and small, of the sort Clinton could gabble about by the hour: retraining schemes, pub­lic/corporate partnerships.

Then suddenly, out of nowhere, there was a ringing pledge to prosecute those responsible for the mortgage crisis. Next day, Glenn Ford gave a useful summary in Black Agenda Report.

“President Obama had hoped to put on a big show — a huge con, really — at his State of the Union address, by announcing a monetary ‘settlement’ of massive banker criminality in housing foreclosures. Obama’s operatives have doggedly pressed for a settlement that would effectively give banks immunity from prosecu­tion. But he was thwarted by a small group of state attor­neys general who wanted a real investigation into the crime of the century. So the president was finally forced to set up a federal unit of his own. Since Obama’s own law enforcers have failed to send a single banker to jail, Wall Street immunity is likely to remain the real State of the Union.”

Obama’s announcement was no doubt also a defen­sive reaction to a recent Reuters expose which suggested that the failure of the Department of Justice to launch any foreclosure fraud prosecutions during Obama’s first term might have something to do with the fact that US Attorney General Eric Holder and Lanny Breuer, head of the Justice Department’s criminal division, were partners for years at a huge Washington law firm, Covington and Burling, that represented big banks at the center of alleged foreclosure fraud.

Then Obama herded us back into “green energy,” though not the vast program for “green jobs” pledged last year; then an abrupt switch to the bad business of teenagers dropping out of high school, a swipe at the oil companies and then, finally, a paean to the core national achievement of 2011 — the killing of bin Laden, which the President rather tastelessly used as his finale on the theme of American unity. It’s no surprise that Presidents laud the American fighting man in such addresses, but Obama really does go over the top.

The whole 65-minute speech will be forgotten in a week. It would have been far better if Obama had simply read out selected portions of Mitt Romney’s tax returns, perhaps with an aside on one number that jumped from the page. Though they have three large homes in Massa­chusetts, Boston and California the Romneys took a deduction of just above $20,000 in 2010 for domestic help. So who keeps those mansions up and running? Mor­mon volunteers?

Watching Obama proposing economic programs that will never come to pass, one’s prime thought was, It’s all far, far too late, by three years. Obama’s one opening for doing anything substantial about the crashed economy and the banks was the honeymoon period, which last about 48 seconds after taking office.

Thursday’s Jacksonville debate was fun. There have been 19 such debates so far, and this was maybe my fourth, so the engagement had the freshness of relative novelty. By its end, Romney was glowing with the know­ledge that at last he’d put in a robust performance and given Newt Gingrich three sound wallops in the solar plexus. The commentators kept referring to Rom­ney’s “new debate coach,” who turns out to be the per­son who honed Michele Bachmann’s modest skills in this department.

There was a turning point which possibly assured Romney’s victory in Florida next Tuesday, maybe the nomination itself, perhaps the White House, conceivably even, as his ultimate reward in the Mormon hereafter, a really nice big planet with lots of beautiful wives await­ing his beck and call. The turning point came early on.

BLITZER (to Gingrich): “Earlier this week, you said Governor Romney, after he released his taxes, you said that you were satisfied with the level of transparency of his personal finances when it comes to this. And I just want to reiterate and ask you, are you satisfied right now with the level of transparency as far as his personal finances?”

Gingrich saw an opening for the sort of grandstand­ing against CNN’s John King in the South Carolina debate that won him the evening there.

GINGRICH: “Wolf, you and I have a great relation­ship, it goes back a long way. I’m with him. This is a non­sense question.

(APPLAUSE)

… Look, how about if the four of us agree for the rest of the evening, we’ll actu­ally talk about issues that relate to governing Amer­ica?”

Blitzer could have taken it on the chin, as King did — but it looks as though he had already decided to take a stand.

BLITZER: “But, Mr. Speaker, you made an issue of this, this week, when you said that, ‘He lives in a world of Swiss bank and Cayman Island bank accounts.’ I didn’t say that. You did.”

GINGRICH: “I did. And I’m perfectly happy to say that on an interview on some TV show. But this is a national debate, where you have a chance to get the four of us to talk about a whole range of issues.”

BLITZER: “But if you make a serious accusation against Governor Romney like that, you need to explain that.”

At this point Romney jumped in:

ROMNEY: “Wouldn’t it be nice if people didn’t make accusations somewhere else that they weren’t willing to defend here?”

He had the better of the subsequent to-and-fro. Then he came out ahead on points in a lengthy spat about immi­gration, beginning with the stern admonition to Gingrich that “The idea that I’m anti-immigrant is repul­sive. Don’t use a term like that.” I wouldn’t have expected “repulsive” to be part of Romney’s verbal arse­nal. It had shock value, like a pistol shot. Then he whacked Newt in a go-round on personal investments in Fanny Mae. By the end of it Romney was swelling up like Popeye after a mouthful of spinach and Gingrich stayed decidedly subdued for the rest of the night.

Ron Paul played the role of avuncular, anti-imperial libertarian very well, even though the everybody’s-uncle image was dented a few hours later by the declaration in the Washington Post of a former secretary that Paul had closely supervised the editorial production of those racist newsletters of yesteryear. On Thursday night he certainly did well against Rick Santorum’s ringing call for counter-revolutionary war across Latin America.

Thursday night, assuming it’s cashed with a Romney victory in Florida next Tuesday, must have come as a huge relief to the Republican establishment which had become so desperate after Gingrich’s victory in South Carolina and initial surge in Florida that it was contem­plating a draft of Mitch Daniels at the convention next summer. But they’d have to revive Daniels first. In his response to Obama in Tuesday on behalf of the Republi­cans he gave every appearance of having been dead for at least a week.

It didn’t take long for Bill Clinton to figure out how to deal with Gingrich after the latter became Speaker of the House in ’95. Clinton would constantly invite Gingrich over to the White House, saying that he craved the Speaker’s depth and vision. So Newt would hasten over and blather on about moon colonies and the future. Then he’d return to the Hill where his colleagues in the Republican leadership would discover that in the midst of the palavering about space Bill had outwitted him in some crucial negotiation about highway funding. In the end they insisted that in any trip to the White House Gingrich had to take along Dick Armey as chaperone.

Gingrich’s affair with the woman who later became his third wife, Callista Bisek, became public in 1998. But it was certainly no secret in the House Agriculture Com­mittee where Callista worked from 1995. According to one witness her phone rang frequently. If she was away from her desk one of her colleagues would pick it up, and call across the room, “The speaker.”

Joke: Q. How did Newt get Sheldon Adelson to give him $18 million?

A. He promised his next wife would be Jewish.

Tumbril Time!

A tumbril (n.) a dung cart used for carrying manure, now associated with the transport of prisoners to the guillotine during the French Revolution.

Last week revolutionary Prosecutor Fouqier-Tinville announced the capture and imminent trial of “grow,” long sought in its counter-revolutionary mutation as a tran­sitive verb governing an abstraction, as in “grow the economy,” a formulation popular among the Girondin fac­tion. “Grow,” said the Prosecutor, was being held in the Conciergerie, under constant surveillance.

I’ve no doubt that the Tribunal will not long delay in sending “grow” in this usage to a well-deserved rendez­vous with the fatal blade. I associate the usage with the 1992 Clinton campaign, where talk about “growing the economy” was at gale force. My friends and neighbors here in Petrolia, Karen and Joe Paff, tell me that when they were starting up their coffee business, Goldrush, at the start of the 1980s, the local bank officials were already hard at it, talking about “growing the business.” I hate the usage, with its smarmy implication of virtuous horticultural effort. As CounterPuncher Michael Green­berg writes, “It sounds phony, aggressive, and even grammatically incorrect, not the nurturing ‘grow’ that one associates with living things.

Joining “grow” in the tumbril will, I trust, be “blood and treasure,” used with great solemnity by opinion form­ers to describe the cost, often the supposedly worthy sacrifice, attached to America’s wars. The usage appar­ently goes back to Jefferson, but that’s no excuse. The catch-phrase seeks to turn slaughter and the shoveling of money to arms manufacturers into a noble, almost mythic expenditure.

Shackled to “blood and treasure” should be its co-con­spirator, “in harm’s way.” Jack Flannigan writes from Kerala, “Mr. Cockburn, Somebody might have beat me to it but my candidate for the squeaky old tumbril is ‘in harm’s way.’ It has, especially in the last ten years, acquired a treacly red, white and blue patina about it that is overwhelmingly connected to the military and police.

“Someone sailing on a Gaza flotilla or staring down a line of sneering, rabid cops is not very likely to be referred by our political/media elites as ‘in harm’s way’.”

Last week, dispatching the phrase to the tumbrils, I said the G. H.W Bush campaign of 1979 for the Republi­can nomination hefted “It’s not over till the fat lady sings” to national prominence. Jeremy Pikser writes to say the phrase “was actually first popularized by the coach (or owner?) of the Baltimore Bullets basketball team in 1978. As usual G. H.W. Bush was only capable of feeble imitation when he used it, hoping to sound like a ‘real guy’.”] Further research discloses its use in sports journalism has been attributed to writer/broadcaster Dan Cook around the same time, and in the mid-70s by a Texas Tech sports official.

Back to “narrative,” en-tumbrilled recently. Here’s a good example of its baneful penetration into the lan­guage, in a Reuter’s news story: “Rubio initially cast him­self as the US-born son of Cuban immigrants who fled Fidel Castro’s revolution in 1959. That narrative ran aground when records surfaced showing that his parents actually had left Cuba years earlier.”

Rubio is caught telling a big lie, and it gets demurely tricked out as a “narrative.”

I also passed sentence on the hiccupping “well” con­struction. Here it is in the first paragraph of Paul Krug­man’s column for January 27. “Mitch Daniels, the for­mer Bush budget director who is now Indiana’s gover­nor, made the Republicans’ reply to President Obama’s State of the Union address. His performance was, well, boring.”

What’s coy little “well” doing in that sentence?

From: kathy@polarfocus.com

“Dear Alex, My nomination for tumbril baggage is ‘It is what it is.’ Way overused, and vacuous in any case. Thanks, Kathy.”

From: “Kevin Rath” <kevinr@lmi.net

“Mr. Cockburn, Recently I have been accosted with the phrase “reaching out to you” by sales people. While it may be inappropriate since your focus is the news, this stupid phrase people from marketing use in their email subject titles and language is really annoying. “Reaching out to your Tumbril cart, Kevin Rath, A CP member.”

Thank you, Kevin.

Alexander Cockburn can be reached at alexandercockburn@asis.com

Before discussing the event of January 27, 2012, a little background is in order for those who are unfamiliar with Oxfam. The Oxford Committee for Famine Relief was formed in 1942 by a group of British Quakers and Oxford academics. Their sole purpose at the time was to try to persuade the British government to allow food relief to the starving population of occupied Greece, then under Nazi control. Since that time, Oxford International has grown to comprise 15 organizations in 90 countries whose mission is to promote “lasting solutions to poverty and related injustice.” They are, in short, on the front lines of the war against hunger. By any measure this humanitarian organization is apolitical,universally respected, and in no way viewed as a threat to anyone.

Franklin, however, was, as stated, viewed as a threat for reasons never explained.

Franklin flew to Britain for the purpose of interviewing with Oxfam. He also intended to meet with his editor at the journal Review of African Political Economy, which has published some of his articles on food security in Mali and Niger. His recent Ph.D. thesis was on just such a topic. The journal, by the way, is a subsidiary of Routledge, a respected and long established academic publisher in the UK.

So, you might wonder, once released from what at the very least was unwarranted detention for three weeks, you would have thought Franklin was owed an apology and some explanation. No so. Franklin did not look back. He decided, after visiting his mother in Aberdeen, Washington, to fly on to Bangkok. A friend of his from Peace Corps days in Mauritania had invited him to visit, and to offer him a job teaching English in Cambodia. At this writing, having decided not to remain in Asia, Franklin is somewhere between Malaysia and Turkey, slowly winding his way back to his research area, North Africa.

On the home front (his mother’s house in Aberdeen is his legal address) appear two men with questions to ask his mother. It turns out that the two men at the door are a local policeman and an FBI Special Agent Kyle McNeal out of the Olympia, Washington office. Of course, they are fully aware of Franklin’s detention by the UK Customs and Immigration officials. They know everything about all that. Poor mother.

What is she to do but invite them into her home (mistake 1), agree to answer questions (mistake 2), and show them e-mails from and to Franklin (mistake 3). Franklin’s mother is an innocent. Her life, and by inference the life of her son, is an open book. When asked, she volunteers her driver’s license number, social security number, and God knows what else. She assures them of Franklin’s love of country and that he was only in the UK (that is, tried to visit the UK) for the purpose of interviewing for the Oxfam job in Africa.

All of this boils down to yet one more slice of the idiocy practiced by our vaunted Homeland Security apparatus. They’ve come so far as to demand that you take your shoes off at airports, submit to x-ray screening and pat downs, and surrender three-ounce jars of pesto at security check points. Pesto? Don’t ask! In short, there are no limits to what indignities we must submit to. Homeland Security now proposes to extend TSA Security screening to railroads, buses, and ferries. Yes, before long, if they have it their way, you will have to take your shoes off and submit to pat downs to take a Greyhound Bus to Fresno. And, don’t even think of taking that 3-ounce jar of pesto to a friend as a present.

Stay tuned. Franklin is a part-time resident of Anderson Valley.  He will come. In the meantime, with silly questions in hand, the FBI may be coming to your community. You haven’t said anything to offend TSA, have you?  Or, did you leave a question unanswered on the customs form when you tried to sneak a jar of pesto home? Oh Pangloss, where is that “best of all possible worlds” you speak of so eloquently? As for me, I’m dusting off my copies of Farenheit-451 and 1984 for my private film festival tonight.

Editor:

Although I cannot speak to the incident regarding a phone call to John Coate as I was not present, the procedures of the Board of Directors of MCPB follows strict Robert’s rules and public comment on the agenda is limited to just that, public comment. Ms. Dawn was not the only member of the public present, however we would encourage more of the public to attend and voice their comments. I have been on the board for over three years and have yet to meet you. You are invited to attend any meeting of the Board so that you can report first-hand on our meetings.

Point of Fact: (1) Bill Moyers has not been on KZYX for quite sometime and is now both airing his show on radio and TV; (2) We have difficulty finding anyone to run for the Board and, in fact, have had an empty seat since the last election due to the lack of finding anyone willing to run; (3) if you have proof regarding the criminal allegations you list, you have an obligation to report those to the pertinent authorities for investigation; and (4) on the contrary, our members and financial numbers, as reported at every public meeting of the Board, have increased since the current management, staff and board have been working for the station and the station’s debt has significantly been reduced. I personally sign over 100 letters to our members quarterly who continue to donate generously to KZYX and find our programming excellent.

If you wish to attack me as to my personal abilities as a board member, as a programmer at the station, or as to my mental health, I would hope you might attempt to first to meet me. BTW Ms. Dawn and I have many cheery discussions about how to make KZYX a better station, more local, and accessible to the public and press.

You are free to publish this email in the AVA, along with the schedule of our future meetings.

Katharine Cole, Secretary

Mendocino Community Public Broadcasting

Philo

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BETWEEN US BUILDINGS

My Dear Back Office on the Second Floor of the Farrer Building,

Having read the article about All That Good Stuff by Turkey Vulture and the letter from the Farrer Building, I really see no difference in the facts or even the interpretation of the facts between those two pieces.

I suspect that the Farrer Building’s siding may be a little thin in this particular area.

No one can dispute, or has disputed, the Farrer Building’s right to do whatever it wants to do with itself.

But in a small community like this, that building must also realize that other smaller buildings, and even some of the larger buildings, care very deeply about what happens to All That Good Stuff and its involved humans.

So please remodel carefully, Farrer Building, for all of our sakes.

Respectfully,

A Smallish House

down the block from the Boonville Hotel

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RETREATING FROM THE PUBLIC

Dear District Attorney Eyster:

19 January 2012 — I am community member in the school district of Point Arena and have been attending the majority of school board meetings for the past four to five years. On, January 18th, I received an agenda stating “Special Meeting: Board/Superintendent Retreat.”

My concern is that under California Board Bylaw #9320 it is clearly stated, “Public notice shall be given in accordance with law when a quorum of the Board is attending a study session, retreat, public forum, or discussion meeting. All such meetings shall comply with the Brown Act and shall be held in open session and within district boundaries. Action items shall not be included on the agenda for these meetings.” As anyone can see by the agenda the Point Arena School Board clearly is in violation when they added action items to their agenda. The retreat is in Section 5 on the agenda which means they essentially combined a Special Meeting with a retreat.

I emailed Superintendent Dr. Colleen Cross stating: “I, 100% agree with you that the district board can engage in a district/superintendent retreat. However, please feel free to correct me if I am wrong but I believe a Board/Superintendent Retreat does not include district business that should be held at a regular school board meeting or a ‘Special Meeting’ — i.e. expulsion of a student, discussion with action on policies regarding retirement incentive programs, etc.” Yet, they continued to not only hold this meeting but the County Superintendent, County Education Superintendent Paul Tichinin was in attendance.

I believe this meeting should be treated as a violation of Brown Act Law and believe a letter should not only to go to Dr. Colleen Cross, Superintendent of the Point Arena School District but also to County Superintendent Paul Tichinin instructing them to rescind any action taken and bring the action items up at a regular Brown Act Compliant Board of Trustee Board Meeting which will be held on February 8, 2012.

On a personal note, I certainly understand violations by school boards are probably not priority in the DA’s office. However, just because members of the community volunteer to serve on school boards does not alter the fact that they are to represent and be the voice of the community and should have our best interest first and foremost when conducting business. This superintendent/board knowingly violated laws set forth by our State and should be held accountable for their neglect.

Respectfully,

Suzanne L. Rush

Manchester
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49ER BOORS

Editor,

I’ve lived in the Bay Area for 25 years but have remained a staunch Saints fan with close ties to New Orleans. My family still lives in New Orleans and has held our season tickets since 1967. I “get” the emotion of the game, the moment and the enthusiasm of the 49er fans.

Despite the extraordinary setting at the ‘Stick, we were shocked by the hostility, vulgarity and intimidation that rained down on me and my two teenage daughters from the moment we stepped into the parking lots. Yes, we were proudly wearing our Saints colors; that’s what loyal fans do. And yes, we expected some good-natured jeering.

We had vulgarities screamed at us repeatedly in the parking lots and literally nonstop by the hooligans around us in the stands. While walking through the lots we had footballs thrown at us, guys screaming curses in our faces — my daughters asked if I had heard the guy who yelled “your mother’s a whore,” which I had, but couldn’t show a reaction for fear for my daughters’ and my own safety. We finally took to shadowing two cops who were strolling through the lots until we dashed for what we thought would be the relative sanity of the stadium.

The stadium was no better. Every other word from dozens of fans around us was an f-bomb shouted at the top of their lungs. There were seven or eight large 30- to 35-year-old guys directly behind us who cursed and threatened us the entire game. After one string of profanities I turned around to look at them and the most obnoxious and combative of the bunch yelled, “Do not turn around again! Do not ever turn around again” and punctuated it with a profanity. They used gay slurs repeatedly at the husband of a middle-aged couple in front of us, the only other Saints fan in our area, and called his wife a bitch.

One of my daughters asked me, “Why don’t you do something, Daddy?” Do what? Fight ten guys? Call/text security when all those guys behind me would know who would have fingered them? Leave early? We almost did.

The hostility and threats of violence were a constant throughout our experience. It appeared to be ingrained in the fans’ culture, similar to the hooliganism that destroyed the reputation of English soccer. The long wait for the playoffs, the excitement of a big game? No excuse. I’ve been to big games in venues around the world and believe me, I’ve been a Saints fan my whole life so I certainly know about long playoff waits. The Vikings fans in the tailgate parties before the NFC championship game were eating crayfish and dancing along with the Saints fans — they weren’t threatened, they were having a great time.

Every 49ers fan, the team, and its owners should be ashamed and embarrassed to wear the red and gold that day. They won the game but are losers in every other way.

Don Moses

Mill Valley

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BOORS? WHAT BOORS?

Editor,

As a 49ers  season ticket holder, I am taken aback by Saints fans who felt they were poorly treated at Saturday’s game.

I sit in the upper reserved section, visitors’ side, and saw none of the reported behavior, either in the parking lot or the stadium. To the contrary, I thought everyone was very civil with a huge game on the line. Walking through the parking lot, I saw Saints fans tailgating both with 49ers fans and by themselves with no bad behavior or interference. I even observed a dozen Saint fans standing in a circle around a 49ers teddy bear, putting curses on it, to the amusement of 49ers fans.

I have experienced bad behavior — my daughter and I had beer thrown at us when wore our 49ers jerseys at a Seahawks home game — but not here.

As a season ticket holder, I do not tolerate 49ers fans who get out of line. You either call them on it or report it on the anonymous cell line. In our section, we see the ushers and security guards keep a tight rein on behavior, and we invite visitors to come sit with us and enjoy the game.

Ralph Jaeck

Reno

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FROM HERE TO ETERNITY

Dear AVA,

Like, wow. Having just read Wolfgang Rougel’s letter of the 11th, I will say that the way to induce me to write a memoir is just like that. I must say I was flattered — floored, even! — by the suggestion. I will certainly give it a shot and hope my efforts will meet AVA standards. I would be honored to be in the company of such fine writers.

Now, if you’ll excuse a snap segue from humility to smart-assery (my default setting). I too was going to debunk that nonsense about water draining counterclockwise in the antipodes. Thank you, Stan Boule.

Since you beat me to that one, I’ll ask this about the section of the letter concerning Saddam Hussein’s most embarrassing moment: How can you be embarrassed when you’re dead? Even assuming that Saddam was still conscious when he voided, might we reliably assume that the rapidly dwindling supply of oxygen to his brain took precedence over other, less physical imperatives, for example, retaining urine or the resultant feelings attended with having failed to do so?

Besides, I doubt this question was researched very thoroughly. Megalomaniacal types like Hussein surely suffered greatly at the hands of their peers, parents, siblings, etc. in childhood — probably he had his undies run up the flagpole once or twice and I put it to you: is not the shame of being ridiculed by a pack of jeering brats in your formative years demonstrably more embarrassing than doing what, as I understand it, most everyone does at the time of expiration?

Till next time,

Flynn Washburne

San Quentin

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PRISON QUOTE OF THE DAY

Dear Editor,

Just wanted to thank you for the holiday greetings and for the six more months of the AVA.

I’m a few days from graduating a substance abuse program (SAP) here in prison and every day just before class begins we read the news, sports, weather and we will also hear a “personal/interpersonal” story from another student’s path/story/experience or whatever. It’s pretty powerful stuff to get up in front of two other guys to share some very private things. In addition to this, we always have a “Quote of the Day” section with one person bringing a quote before the group. While Jaz-Z lyrics and The Art of War references are many, I have been turning folks on to the seemingly random quotes in each week’s AVA. I’m not sure how you guys choose which ones for any given issue, but they have more often than not been fitting and appropriate for when it is my turn to bring a quote of some substance to the table.

The AVA is pretty great to begin with but who would have thought the quotes that populate every AVA would find their way into the rooms of a substance abuse program or therapeutic community here in California’s bloated prison system? Surely not me, but I’m thankful for it. Thanks, man.

Sincerely,

Jonathan Myers

Soledad

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BIRD DROPPINGS

Editor —

I received a DVD for Christmas. It’s titled, “The Cave of Forgotten Dreams.” It’s a video about a recently discovered cave in France. The cave is remarkable for its limestone formations, but it’s way more remarkable for its prehistoric drawings. People 32,000 years ago were trying to reach us by showing us what was important to them — animals.

The majority of these drawings are of food animals. (After all, these drawing were made by French cavemen.) But some of the drawings are of lions. These drawings were made during a time when humans were not top of the food train.

The art is thus consistent — about eating or being eaten.

The age of the drawings is remarkable. It’s the oldest human history we have. Their quality is high and there’s little deterioration.

Then I got to wondering, how does 32,000 years compare to the age of the earth? (The Earth is estimated to be about 4.5 billion years old.)

I’ve recently read of such a comparison.

The Eiffel Tower is in France. It’s a huge structure. From a distance it looks like it’s sitting on four concrete blocks. Up close, each of these blocks is about the size of a small house.

The tower itself is almost 1000 feet high — close to the height of the Empire State building. It can be seen from all over Paris. It’s topped by a TV antenna. Birds visit the antenna. Their leavings (we’ll call it that) provide evidence of their visit. And, these leavings add a fraction of an inch to the height of the tower. These leavings add to the tower in the same proportion as 32,000 years adds to the age of the earth.

Best regards,

Bart Boyer

San Diego

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THE BIG EMPTY

Dear Editor,

My husband was inspired by your description of your visit to the Museum of Modern Art in the January 4 edition to name San Francisco “The Big Empty.” I often wonder how those folks can stand to live like that, all stacked on top of each other.

Where we live we cannot see any other houses and can only hear, occasionally, a train passing in the distance. Life is work here and I think that’s what makes it unattractive to the general populace. I don’t know.

I work at the tiny neighborhood store. When tourists pass through there is often the incredulous question, “What do you do here?!” They are especially distraught that their cellphones don’t work. It’s humorous to me to see them standing there with the little dead thing, like a fallen bird, lying in their palm, their thumbs twitching, impotently, holding it out to me as if I could save it.

I visit The Big Empty a couple times a year. Usually to visit the DeYoung Museum. While on BART I’m amazed by the number of people who are hooked up to electronics. I wonder, “What are they doing?!” Maybe they look at me, devoid of any pods or wires, and think, “Loser.” Na — nobody looks at anybody down there.

It’s good that there is an “us” and a “them” so that they can live there and we can have our peaceful here.

Pamela Aylen

Twain

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APPALLED

Dear Mr. Schmitt,

My husband and I are appalled by your decision not to renew the lease of Leslie Hummel and that you did not even have the decency to let her know personally — she had to find the news in the AVA.

All That Good Stuff has served the community for 22 years, providing wonderful cards and merchandise, copy machine services, and UPS drop-off. Leslie is the kindest and most gracious neighbor. Not only are you hurting her, but you are doing great damage to Claudia Espinoza, who was going to take over the store. All that for your own financial profit, without regard for their well being, nor the impact this would have on the local community.

We are asking you to rescind your decision. Otherwise, I can assure you that we shall never again patronize your restaurant and whatever business you create in this location, and we will encourage our neighbors to do the same.

Sincerely,

Jan Baughman

Boonville

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CALLING WALLIS WILLIAMS

Dear Wallis Williams,

Are you the same “Wally Williams” whose family moved to Farmington, Connecticut when you were in high school? And had a party where you played Beach Boys records? And was involved with me in a fire alarm incident at the high school? If so, I owe you an apology. That prick Bennett (the principal) tortured a confession out of me, that I did not pull the fire alarm, leaving you the only other suspect. Please contact me through this paper.

Jeff Costello, FHS class of ’64

Portland

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FAIR PLAY FOR LESLIE

Dear AVA and the Farrer Building, aka Johnny Schmitt and Roger Scomegna.

I am writing to give my 2¢ to Johnny Schmitt wrote in this newspaper last week under his corporate name, “The Farrer Building,” without having the balls to sign his own name or his business partner’s name, Roger Scomegna. Johnny Schmitt and Roger Scomegna evicted Leslie Hummel’s All That Good Stuff business without prior warning. And how did they do this to a loyal, 22 year tenant who never missed a rental payment? Leslie found out by reading Johnny’s letter to the editor in the AVA that her business’s “long-term future in all likelihood will not be at the Farrer building. We are happy to give them plenty of time to find another location and get a fresh start.”

Shame on you, Johnny Schmitt!

I don’t have personal knowledge of all that has transpired but I have spoken to Leslie and some people around town and have put together the following facts:

1. As Johnny wrote, Ms. Hummel did request a ten-year lease (Leslie has been there for 22 years. Her former five-year lease expired in 2010, she was anxious to secure another long-term lease because she was on a month-to-month lease, and she is making plans for Claudiu Jimenez to purchase the business and she will retire in three years. She simply didn’t think securing a new long-term lease would be a big deal.) However, what Johnny fails to mention is that after Leslie asked for another long-term lease, Johnny and Roger made a counter-offer of a measly 12-month lease. This was communicated by e-mail, not in person, and I guess that walk from his hotel across the street to his Farrer building was just too far to speak to someone who has consistently paid you rent over many, many years. I can’t think of a less humane way of doing things. (I guess you could have evicted her with 30 days notice, so we should all think she’s “lucky” that you are not that much of a rat.)

Obviously, without further direct communication this would panic any sensible, long-term business owner who previously had five-year leases over her 22 year long tenancy. It seems to me that Johnny cannot complain that “the imagination of the Anderson Valley in wintertime [then] took hold” when he himself caused that speculation. Further, it was a slap in the face for Leslie to hear such news via email without any further comment. I think it was reasonable for Leslie and everyone else to think: Johnny must have some plans of his own for the space that holds All That Good Stuff if he’s only offering a 12-month lease.

2. Johnny continued to deny he had any plans for ATGS’s space to everyone. Johnny, this is a small town. You write you have no plans for a “wine and cheese” shop. Hell, people know you have plans to put in a charcuterie/butcher shop in that space. You should have been honest in the first place with Leslie and Claudia (who will ultimately be ATGS’s new owner in three years, so Leslie can retire.)

3. You finally met in person to discuss a new lease prior to Steve Sparks’s article being published in the AVA. At that time it seemed that Leslie (and all of her friends) had some hope that there would be an agreement for at least a two- or three-year lease. We were all relieved. Disaster averted. But then Steve Sparks’ article came out. That same day the article was published, I was told that Johnny sent an impulsive angry email to Leslie that the lease negotiations were off, there would be no long-term lease, he didn’t want to discuss the subject, and ATGS was on a month-to-month lease. I think it is reprehensible for Johnny to punish Leslie for what I believe was a fairly balanced article in the AVA. The bottom line of the article was confirming that Johnny had the right to evict Leslie and take over her retail space. But, that ATGS is very popular with locals. We who shop at ATGS would have to go to Ukiah or Fort Bragg to get simple gifts, toys, jewelry and cards if it is closed down or couldn’t find alternative space in Anderson Valley. And, as Leslie has been there for 22 years, she is beloved by all. (I can’t tell you how often she let my children play in the back to room over the years.) The gist of the article seemed to be that this was going to be a difficult process and that Johnny should be aware of the likelihood of alienating a great number of people by making the decision to, in effect, evict ATGS.

It seems that this was handled in the most disrespectful way possible. That is why people are so upset. Johnny, you have a right to evict Leslie, but how you’ve done it was so underhanded, so rude, so boorish that you’re standing in the community is taking a well-deserved beating. Is this really how you treat people?! (I’m sure you wouldn’t treat your own employees this way. Oh, I forgot. You fired them all a few years back — also without notice, I recall.) Why in the world wouldn’t you have spoken to Leslie directly and honestly and given a specific timeline, contacted some of your landlord friends for some options for ATGS to move to, and offer some restitution for having to move?

Many hope you at least do the right thing by providing Leslie with some financial restitution for being evicted and having to find a new location — if she finds one locally. She had no idea until very recently that you had no intention of providing her with a long-term lease, and that she had to plan to move her entire business. I’m sure it will cost a bundle in moving her Good Stuff to a new location, getting new phone/fax lines, printing business cards, new deposit money, etc. As you know there is very little (if any) retail space in “downtown” Boonville and she is losing the best location in town. We all know you don’t have to offer anything, but have a little mercy. I’m sure a quick phone call to your millionaire partner asking for $10,000 to help wouldn’t take too much of your time for, as we all know, you seem pretty handy with a computer — just email him.

For all the people who really care, please let us know if you are willing to provide some restitution to Leslie in order for her to move. For God’s sake, man up!

Sincerely,

The Wooden Building on the left side of Highway 128

Schmittville, California

PS. If that court case allows corporations to be individuals and Johnny Schmitt can hide his name under his business name, please extend the same courtesy to me also.

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GUANTANAMO GETS WORSE

Dear Editor:

Another new twist in the war court trials at Guantanamo (Bush’s monument to the American system of justice). Now it turns out that the base commander admitted he has DOD contractors examining the confidential, privileged attorney-client mail for “safety, force protection and good order.” The result is the defense attorneys have stopped sending mail to their clients which effectively shuts down the pending trials.

Additionally, it should be noted that, contrary to our system of justice, the military courts can admit as evidence information obtained by torture which includes waterboarding.

Of course, also holding alleged terrorists for long periods of time without trial is hardly in accordance with the American system of judgment. These military trials increasingly look more like kangaroo court trials. Guantanamo is a disgrace and an embarrassment to to our country and should be closed.

In peace,

James G. Updegraff

Sacramento

PS: Incidentally, several of the Bush people claim waterboarding is not torture. I would point out waterboarding was used during the Spanish Inquistition as a method to extract a confession. I am sure the good friars considered it an effective method of torture. Also, during the Philippine Insurrection American troops were waterboarding prisoners until it was stopped by US Government officials since it was considered torture. These Bush people are either charlatans or woefully ignorant of the history of waterboarding.

Anaheim, California

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COWBOYS & WILD OATS

Dear Editor,

The Valley community is truly fortunate to have the talents and generosity of Dean Titus and the Coyote Cowboys Saturday Feb 11th as the spark plug to ignite the energy of the “fun and romance dance” in our community. Dean and his featured vocalist, Susan Clark, added an opening act to the evening. “Wild Oats” is a favorite local country and bluegrass band composed of some old timers and a few almost old timers. The two bands will bring danceable country music to the Anderson Valley Grange. This year they will donate their time and talents for the benefit of the AV Senior Center, last year they did the same for the Health Center. In fact for years now Dean’s group has been playing benefits for the valley folks and we think they need a little praise and thanks.

Dean sees a group that needs a little financial help and volunteers his band and their talents. Then support people help with the staging, decorations, advertising, door prizes, and sale of the donated concession food wine and beer. The price fits most people’s budget at only $10 per person payable at the door starting at 7:30 pm. The music and opportunity to get away from cabin fever and into some “energy releasing socializing” with friends while enjoying good food and drink is the old timers way to spend a Saturday night.

As a little extra, Dean has arranged for a slide show of these old timers and old places in the valley to be projected on the sidewall during the dance. That way when your feet need a little rest you have something to watch besides the dancing girls. Michael Crutcher has assembled, with the help of Sheri Hansen, a whole fist full of photos. To see them brings to mind some of the people, families and places that made the valley the great place we live in. So thank you Dean Titus and the Coyote Cowboys, Wild Oats plus the entire support group that brings this event to our valley. We hope to see you at the Grange on Saturday, Feb. 11th for some Romancin’ and Dancin’.

Rod and Judy Basehore,

Young senior citizens

Philo

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MY WIFE & I…

Dear Mr. McEwen,

My wife and I enjoyed your recent article regarding our trial with Mr. Stoen, P. v. Alvarez-Carillo. The finger-snapping was particularly humorous and made me wonder who the title might be directed at. One thing though, our last name is spelled “Pekin.” Please be so kind as to make a note of it. Maybe I’ll see you around court tomorrow while I wait for the verdict.

Yours,

Patrick Pekin

Fort Bragg

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THE RANDIAN VIEW

Dear Editor,

I just read your January 18, 2012 issue after a very long hiatus from looking at the AVA.

Here’s my review.

On the positive side, Cockburn’s excellent column on our warmongering Presidents from FDR to Obama was simply superb. Refutes that crappy ‘Good War’ nonsense.

Your New Hampshire primary correspondent was insightful and entertaining.

The Editor’s comments on the redevelopment racket were to the point except that there were never any ‘good intentions’ involved from the start.

The editor’s comments on the appalling extradition to Texas of someone growing pot were very good though the real issue is that the 100 year failed drug wars must come to a complete end and all drugs should be decriminalized as Dr. Thomas Szasz advocated in his book Our Right To Drugs. Not because most drugs are good, they are not, including pot, but it’s none of the government’s business. Decriminalized en toto, not the stupid libtard idea of ‘legalization’ so as to tax and regulate them. Your cover story on the demented female warriors alone was the price of admission.

Your comments on the Stalinesque new courthouse in Ukiah hit the nail on the head.

Now as to the cons, that ditzy hagiographic piece on Norm Solomon was an example of the worst of old Left agit-prop. I’m glad he was against the Iraq war but no more so than millions of us and he seems totally braindead otherwise. My boyfriend in Oakland favorably reviewed two books of his, once in a May 1994 number of the East Bay Express and once in a 1999 issue of Z Magazine.

Norm lived in Oakland and my boyfriend & his longtime wife knew Norm quite well.

Around 1998 Norm left Oakland to move to rural West Marin County. He still kept up his blackophilism and political correctness but it was obvious why he left Oakland. In 2004 Norm launched a vicious attack on Nader whom he claimed to support in 2000.

It was so vicious that Nader wrote that Norm and Medea Benjamin were beyond the pale and that he could never forgive either unless they first apologized to him. Of course, neither weasel ever did. Norm also wrote in 2004 that he would personally join the Green Party after that election to thank them for being so “responsible” as not to nominate Nader and thus hurt Kerry’s chance.

What a load of bullcrap! Norm stayed in the Dems and is now running as one.

Norm has also backed the Bensky Boob wing at KPFA that has misrun that station for 40 years and now has the gall to call themselves Save KPFA! These are the 30 and 40 year oldtime ex-CPUSA hacks and braindead LibDems who haven’t had a new idea since 1932. The pathetic remnants of the US Left or what’s left of it.

Norm’s platform is the same stale old rubbish of total state takeover of medicine as if central planning had ever worked in any area of any economy in any country at any time. The government now controls 60% of US medicine and Norm proposes a full dose of the same poison which is killing it. Norm’s love affair with our ‘public’ employees is not shared by most taxpaying Californians. Go to any government office from Oakland to LA to here in SF to Ukiah and you will see exactly why.

Cops in Oakland start at six figures and they are hardly worth a fraction of that.

Then in an absolutely mind-bending stupidity Norm says that the solution is in DC! The very same folks in the Fed who brought us the current Depression through an easy credit boom which collapsed as it always does.

Norm also clings to the two-state bantustan non-solution in Israel/Palestine. I lived in Tel Aviv as an Irish-American Jew (Mom’s side) for two years and it ain’t going to happen. There are over half a million illegal settlers on the West Bank plus East Jerusalem and the only solution is one state with one vote per person. Only Norm and Noam cling to this two-state nonsense. Hell, Noam is still denying Pol Pot’s genocide in Cambodia! But to be fair Norm doesn’t.

Even at least three contributors to Cockburn’s leftist Counterpunch have written that Ron Paul is our only hope to avoid dictatorship and world war.

Norm Solomon was fool enough to believe Obama’s lying ‘change’ nonsense in 2008 so his judgment is not to be trusted at all.

Read Economic Controversies by Murray Rothbard and buy or rent Atlas Shrugged, Part 1 DVD. It will show you exactly where we are headed if either Obama is reelected or Romney gets in. Replacing Obama with Romney is like changing the safety pin only on the diaper.

You guys are smarter than that and hopefully you can think outside the stale old New Deal-Fair Deal-New Frontier- Great Society box.

Thank you for reading this.

Respectfully,

Marcy Fleming

San Francisco

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MISHANDLING ASBESTOS

Editor,

This was an incident in my neighborhood and the response of my representative Linda Maio who has been my neighbor for many years and who is ostensibly progressive in every way especially concerning gender. But not so much on other things like environmental truth justice and rights when it comes to citizens and constituents. You know, a real good friend of big developers etc., and a good friend of Tom Bates, our newspaper stealing embarassment of a mayor, and of course stalwart of the all mighty all powerful nuclear genesis site, the University of California at Berkeley.

* * *

McKinley Painting CA license # 637631 has scraped and sanded the entire westward outside wall of 1729 Berkeley Way this week. They have been scraping and sanding (for two whole days now) the failing LEAD PAINT (which was tested positive) that was falling off the wall.

Unfortunately the day they started, with the most dust, was a very windy day Tuesday (the wind was whipping around in every direction).

Despite State and Federal standards that this contractor knows and I told him and the owner Monica Thyberg knows and I told her, is that a vertical covering must be provided to prevent environmental contamination when removing lead paint.

But to save a couple thousand dollars they failed on a very windy day to completely contain that side of the building so that toxic lead dust and particles don’t contaminate the surrounding area.

Well it’s done, they cheerfully proceeded with their crime and all they did in response to me was put up a little piece of yellow tape and a warning sign.

I do believe that the contractor and the homeowner should both be held accountable. I informed the homeowner well in advance of her hiring anyone what would be required to safely contain the lead paint and as far as the contractor…he should go to jail.

What can we do now?

Carefully wipe and dust down all sills and flat surfaces in your house without spreading the dust. Spray down outside surfaces with a hose. Make sure to control the dust in your homes and vents as it is sure to contain toxins.

Know that the immediate vicinity is contaminated and take precaution.

Call the authorities and report this criminal contractor.

Talk to your neighbours and ask them to please have more and real consideration for children, plants, animals, the community, the neighborhood, the elderly, etc. Jeez it seems like some people don’t have a heart nowadays.

I have three kids and live within a hundred feet.

Lead can cause serious developmental problems in children.

I am very serious about pursuing this and other environmental toxins and dangers for our community and others.

If anyone has any advice/criticism/words of encouragement please don’t be shy

— Nathan Collins. Professional Citizen, Oakland

Dear Nathan,

I realize you are acting out of concern for your children. As this is about our mutual neighbor, and because you sent me this email as your Councilmember, in that capacity I talked with Monica Thyberg this morning to familiarize myself with her project particularly regarding potential risks. I reviewed the statements in your email message with her (it is now a public record since it came to my office). She described the steps she had taken to involve experts regarding the possible existence of lead paint. She noted that her painting contractor is trained in lead abatement. As none of us are experts in this matter I requested that she contact the County of Alameda Lead Poisoning Prevention Program to acquire information and assistance regarding the level of risk and any remedies that might be taken, and she readily agreed. I await the result of the County’s intervention which I will share.

— Linda Maio, Supervisor, Berkeley City Council

Supervisor Linda,

I am an expert. I was lead certified in the SF local 4 Painters Tapers and Allied Trades Union in the 90s.

Now what Mr. McKinley did with full knowledge was criminally contaminate the area with willfull negligence.

I had discussions with Monica in November and December about how serious the issue was and what it would require.

I should have been consulted futher in the matter or they should have ceased when I told them to.

Mr. McKinley deserves criminal prosecution and he will get it.

Monica deserves the shame she is receiving.

The City of Berkeley should be ashamed because they don’t have the capacity or wherewithal to deal with endemic environmental health hazards present in Berkeley.

How about a task force on the Environment Linda, and all the pollution from Cars, UC Berkeley, Pacific Steel, the Refineries, Mold, Lead, Carbon Monoxide, etc.

Funny your line that I am being passionate but need to step back and let the authorities deal with it is exactly what the police and all these other agencies have said all along….

NO THANKS. Hey Linda, welcome to the new world. The world of post Occupy Wall Street. People won’t be cowed or coerced anymore. The people are taking charge. We’re doing things for ourselves thank you. As you can see most of these agencies have done and do nothing so we can easily go around them. I quickly learned the city could do nothing about it. So I called the EPA in SF. The city is impotent and can do nothing about the matter and your line to me, the same as the county and everyone else, is to sweep it under the rug. Shame!

Nathan Collins. Professional Citizen

Oakland

PS. “To all the wicked ones, when its all said and done, Your conscience will wrap round your neck like a rope and hang you.”

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SPEED KILLS

Editor,

The cremation and burial service plan, to be specific. Cremated remains will be buried along California freeway and highway systems. Since death will get us all sooner or later, your State of California, through the Department of Transportation, known as Caltran, now offers the Cal Tran Plan. This plan is an inexpensive way of getting rid of the cremated ashes of someone you might know. Also the Cal Tran Plan will help keep our roadside environment nice and clean and will be good for the trees and the environment in general.

Dear future customer family,

The following services with the amount for each service, supplies and equipment is offered to you by the state of California, Division of freeways and highways, Cal Tran Plan, as follows:

Cremation by portable microwave oven at burial site, or at your home: $82.50.

Temporary storage of ashes in orange polyethylene bag: $6.25

Burial of cremated remains alongside California freeway or highway system varies, depending on which freeway or highway you prefer and select as follows:

Freeways 1 through 80 ($92.50), Freeway 680 ($132.50, due to this being one of the better areas), Freeways 580, 880, 101, 102 and Highway 4 ($62.50), Interstate Freeway 5 ($18.50 to $112.25). Freeways and highways in the San Diego area ($201 due to sophisticated area), California area of Lake Tahoe, Highways 50 and 89 ($186.50). All other freeways and highways from the Mexico border to the Oregon border depending on the area, type of soil, traffic flow and EPA report ($21.25 to $89.50)

Wooden cross made from California redwood 2′ x 1′ ($6) or 12′ x 6′: $18.25

One gallon size California coastal pine tree: no charge

Labor charge to install wooden cross, either size: $41.75.

Credit to install wooden cross if your family or friends are willing to do it: Credit: $41.75

Labor charge to plant California coastal pine tree over your grave, done by Caltrans road crews. (Note: family and friends cannot plant a tree due to union rules): $20.50

Taped music and graveside freeway service, 30 minute tape: $3.25

Rental charge for portable tape player, 30 minute time limit: $5

Graveside eulogy by local mayor or by a Caltrans supervisor, 30 minutes: $42.50

If the body is cremated at your place of residence, then cremated remains will be your loved ones responsibility to bring the ashes in orange polyethylene bag to burial site because Cal Tran Plan has no means of transportation.

Rental of our microwave oven, to do a do-it-yourself cremation, instructions included: $37.25

Cal Tran Plan cleanup of burial site prior to burial — for example, aluminum cans, refuse, road litter, etc.: $10.50 to $31.75 depending on amount of litter and time required.

Special oleander service (available only in certain areas): $14.75

Portable canvas tarp to attain privacy from passing vehicles and onlookers: $11.50

Burial under freeway overpasses, extra charge: $70

Inclement weather special tarp to protect mourners: $31

Only artificial flowers will be allowed. Burial along any new freeway construction such as burial in a cement pillar or roadway under construction requires prior approval of Cal Tran construction division. Hearses will be available in early 2012. A memorial reception at the nearest freeway off-ramp, overpass or underpass limited to a maximum of 24 people due to obstruction of traffic flow. Remember that time is passing and any of us can go at any moment. To enroll in the State of California Cal Tran Plan send your request to the Cal Tran Plan, California Division of Highways, DMV, PO Box 942885, Sacramento, CA 94285-0885.

For information on our new Cal Tran Plan Layaway Plan please call 925-680-4636 or 925-942-6012.

Sincerely?

Franklin D. Sutherland, “general manager,”

“Cal Tran Plan,” Sacramento

One has to feel for Romney, thrashing about amidst the Newt horror. Here comes the portly Georgian, brush­ing aside the Mormon priests guarding Mitt’s hotel suite, kicking open the bedroom door, seizing Romney by the throat… Aaaargh! And then Romney is awake, realizing that this is a cold-sweat nightmare that will last … maybe until they close in Florida on January 31, maybe until Super Tuesday on March 6, when nine states hold their primaries, maybe….

We left Romney amidst the supposed flush of victory in Iowa (now awarded to Santorum), and triumph in New Hampshire, with polls in South Carolina showing him a solid ten points ahead of Gingrich, who made a poor showing in New Hampshire on top of a fourth place in Iowa below Santorum and Ron Paul.

Gingrich burned for revenge for his rough treatment in New Hampshire by Romney’s campaign commercials. But how, on a tight timeline, to acquaint South Carolina Republicans with Romney’s infamies?

He needed money, lots of it, double-quick.

Occupy Las Vegas!

Some things don’t change in American politics, and rich people sitting in Las Vegas with pots of cash is one of them. Joel McCleary, a friend, remembers fund-rais­ing in Las Vegas when he was working for the Jimmy Carter campaign in 1976. The crucial Pennsylvania pri­mary was coming up and the Carter people (their chief fundraiser was Morris Dees) needed a big wad of cash for the final push against Henry “Scoop” Jackson of Washington, known as “the senator from Boeing,” also running for the Democratic nomination and favored by powerful labor chieftains in Pennsylvania.

Joel was told the go-to guy for untraceable campaign cash was Hank Greenspun, editor of the Las Vegas Sun. Greenspun was a notoriously tough egg, former gun-run­ner for the Haganah, the man who, in the midst of the Cold War witch hunts, outed Senator Joe McCarthy in the Sun as a homosexual. Joel was told to act manly. Greenspun duly received him in his office. “Why the hell should I get money for Jimmy Carter?” he asked.

“Because Jimmy Carter is going to be president,” Joel answered boldly, “and if you don’t support his cam­paign he’ll fuck you.”

Greenspun told Joel to come back in two hours. He returned to find Greenspan sitting at a table surrounded by other toughs. In the middle of the table was a paper bag. “So the Baptist fuck wants money,” Greenspun growled, as he pushed the bag over to Joel. “Remember, this comes from the state of Israel. Don’t you ever forget it.”

Greenspun was no doubt also sluicing money to Jack­son, a particularly slavish errand boy for Israel. With Carter he was hedging his bets. Wisely, as it turned out. They called the odds right in Las Vegas. Carter won the Pennslyvania primary, beating Jackson 36 per cent to 27 per cent. Jackson pretty much gave up after that, saying frankly, “We’re out of money.” At least Greenspun, who died in 1989, didn’t live to know that he invested $100,000 in a man later to denounce Israel as an apart­heid state.

Las Vegas paper bags notwithstanding, in former times there were certain pettifogging constraints on how much a billionaire could lavish on his favored candidate. But then came the “Citizens United” decision by the US Supreme Court (split 5-4) , issued in January, 2010, rul­ing that the First Amendment, protecting free speech, prohibits the government from placing limits on inde­pendent spending for political purposes by corporations and unions. As Ralph Nader correctly pointed out at the time, “With this decision, corporations can now directly pour vast amounts of corporate money, through inde­pendent expenditures, into the electoral swamp already flooded with corporate campaign PAC contribution dol­lars.”

Enter 78-year old Sheldon Adelson, the world’s 16th richest man, a bit dented by the property crash in Nevada but still with $23 billion at his disposal. The sun rises on his empire in Las Vegas, sets on it in the east in Macao, with its zenith over the state of Israel, whence his second wife hails. On Israel Adelson entertains very harsh views about the advisability of negotiations of any sort with Palestinians and lately has been lobbying fiercely — he owns the free weekday Israel Hayom, the largest circu­lation newspaper in Israel — for an attack on Iran.

When Newt Gingrich, fishing for Zionist money, abandoned his previous, relatively temperate posture on the Israel/Palestine issue, and declared that Palestinians were an “invented people,” he was directing his remarks to an audience of one.

Adelson was exceedingly pleased and expressed his gratification in material terms, with a further $5 million, now staking Gingrich’s campaign ads in South Carolina. To date Adelson has donated about $13 million to Gingrich’s campaign — a US record. The ads put out by the Gingrich forces derive in origin from Senator Ted Kennedy’s successful effort to defend his US senate from Romney’s challenge back in 1994. The Kennedy campaign put together ferocious spots depicting Rom­ney, erstwhile boss of the private equity firm Bain Capi­tal, as one of the most vicious operators in the history of American capitalism, never happier than when taking over factories, destroying jobs, kicking workers into the snow, and sneering at the tears of their distraught wives and children.

Chunks of just such a film have been broadcast this week across South Carolina, airtime bought by a Politi­cal Action Committee backing the Gingrich campaign. They are brilliantly done, so effective that the New York Times — evidently worried for the overall reputation of capitalism — ran a very comical piece a few days ago critiquing the commercials as going altogether too far and being marred by error. Gingrich announced piously that “I’m calling on them to either edit out every single mistake or to pull the entire film. They cannot run the film if it has errors in it.” But the nominally independent Political Action Committee refused, demanding a clarifi­catory interview with Romney.

South Carolina has been faring badly in the current national slump. Tough talk about job-killers, particularly Mormon millionaire job-killers, commands a sympa­thetic audience. By Tuesday the press was hailing Gingrich’s Monday debate performance as worthy of Edmund Burke, which indeed it was, since in its rancid racism towards black people it rivaled Burke’s slurs on the French revolutionaries.

It became clear by midweek the ads were taking their toll on Romney. By Wednesday the polls were showing the Mormon millionaire with 30 per cent support and Gingrich surging, with 27 per cent of the vote. By Fri­day, Gingrich was running ahead 32-30 in some polls, after his carefully rehearsed “Have you no shame, Sir” reproof to CNN’s John King following the latter’s opening question about the “open relationship” Gingrich’s second wife Marilyn says he proposed after disclosing his affair with Callista. Marilyn’s disclosure probably won Gingrich an extra slice of the state’s male vote, on ground that this is the sort of thing men blurt out when driven into a corner in a “her or me” confrontation with the Missus.

On Tuesday Romney finally lifted a corner of the pre­viously tightly sealed file containing his tax returns. The partial disclosure won’t help him nor his evasive­ness in the debate. He said his effective tax rate was “probably closer to the 15% rate than anything.” That 15% is on investment income — a huge perk for the very rich — as opposed to the higher rates on wages and salaries — up to 35% — paid by many Americans. He also deprecated his speaking fees last year of $374,327 as “not very much.” This man definitely lacks the com­mon touch. So much for my fears last week for the future of the election industry after what looked like an immi­nent Romney closeout.

Tumbril Time!

A tumbril (n.) a farm cart often used for carrying manure, also to carry prisoners to the guillotine during the French Revolution.

Any headline modeled on “It’s the economy, stupid.” This tedious phrase derives from the Clinton campaign of 1992, and is still echoing on opinion pages 20 years on. To the tumbrils with it!

“Well…” , as in constructs like “His performance was.. well… frankly bad.” Equally awful is “…er,” as in “Is Angeline Jolie a great actor? Er… no.” The British are particularly keen on this piece of stylistic coyness.

“Staunch,” as so often used to describe right-wing­ers: “a staunch Republican,” “a staunch Conservative,” though not I think, “a staunch fascist.” I see left writers using this phrase freely about Republicans and Conser­vatives. Don’t they know that “staunch” carries the aroma of unstinting, courageous loyalty. It’s an honor­ific. How about “fanatic Republican”? “crazed Conser­vative”? No rightwinger would talk about “staunch lib­erals” — admittedly an oxymoron, just like “staunch Democrat.” Now, there really are staunch pacifists. Save the word for them.

Michael Donnelly offers “At the end of the day,” which, I need scarcely remind you, is the hour when the fat lady sings, after the rubber has met the road. The fat lady line was first popularized in George H.W. Bush’s run for the Republican nomination in 1980. When he finally threw in the towel, the press corps hired a fat Valkyrie with a horned helmet to rush up to him and sing at the top of her voice, waving a trident.

From Jean-Pierre Duboucheron: “Bad guys.” Spot on, Jean-Pierre.

From Sean Dunne in Ireland: “this ain’t my first rodeo” ; “just sayin’”; “Really.” True, one does see the terse “Really” all too often. Time for the final haircut.

“I would like to request that you consign one more word to the tumbrils. And that word is ‘stakeholder.’” Vukoni Lupa-Lasaga. Happy to oblige, Vukoni.

From Egidio Mondolfi: “Natalie Bauman and I sub­mit ‘folks’ for your consideration. If ever a word was long overdue for a ride in the farm cart…”

Alexander Cockburn can be reached at alexandercockburn@asis.com.

The notices currently taped to both sides of the glass doors of the Mendocino Post Office proclaim that starting February 14, 2012, our post office will henceforth be closed on Saturdays, and postal business shall only be conducted Monday through Friday from 8 AM to 4 PM. That our government, otherwise known as the Council of Evil Morons, would choose Valentine’s Day to kick off this latest contraction of our terrific postal system strikes me as ironic and cruel, as well as evil and moronic.

I and most Americans over fifty first learned how the postal system worked when we were in First and Second Grade and our teachers helped us create and operate our very own in-classroom post offices for the purpose of sending and receiving Valentines to and from our classmates. At Las Lomitas Elementary School we had actual post offices (built by handy parents) that took up big chunks of classroom real estate. These one-room offices featured windows behind which stood postal workers from whom we could buy stamp facsimiles (fresh from the mimeograph machine) to affix with edible white paste to our properly addressed envelopes. These envelopes contained store bought or handmade Valentines, and we would drop these childish love missives into cardboard mailboxes located across the rooms from the post offices. Then every hour or so postal workers would open these mailboxes, empty the contents into transport bags, and carry the mail to the post offices wherein the letters would be sorted into cubbyholes bearing the names of the recipients. And we, the children, got to be the postal workers and do all these fun jobs. How cool is that? For a six-year-old, way cool.

These Valentines postal operations stimulated many other sectors of our classroom ecology. Making art took on new and urgent meaning, as did writing. Anyone could send a regular valentine, but only artists and poets could make valentines covered with glitter (affixed to that same edible paste) bearing heartfelt original (or accidentally plagiarized) rhymes. Roses are red, violets are blue, please be my Valentine, shoo bop doo wah.

Valentines were the gateway drugs that turned me into the snail mail addict I am today, which is why I am so sad and angry about the decline and impending fall of our beloved postal system. Yes, I appreciate a good email missive, one without typos or grammatical errors; but the best email pales next to a mediocre piece of real mail found in my post office box, a one-of-a-kind Easter egg of love waiting to be discovered amidst the bills and junk mail, something made just for me that took someone more than a few seconds to compose and send, something steeped in what psychologists call “quality time” — loving attention undivided.

“Love is metaphysical gravity.” — Buckminster Fuller

Get over it, Todd. No. I take Marshall McLuhan’s observation “the medium is the message” as a warning that what we think we’re doing may not be what we’re actually doing. McLuhan was speaking about mass media, television in particular, a medium through which I thought I was watching shows I wanted to watch, when in actuality I was allowing myself to be seduced by processes designed to entrain me to think and feel the way our corporate overlords want everyone to think and feel. Television is a medium of conquest and control. The message of that medium is “Do and be and buy what we tell you to do and be and buy or you will never be safe and happy. Ever.”

So it came to pass that I and many other people figured out the real message of mass media and television and broke free from that enslavement and stayed free long enough to help engender and partake of a brief renaissance of creative freedom known as the Sixties, a cultural revolution largely defined by its independence from mass media and corporate control. Some say the Sixties lasted into the 1970’s, and some say reverberations of that renaissance continued into the 1980’s, but for however long the groovy vibes of the Sixties kept on vibing, the important thing to know is that the innovative energy and expressions of that renaissance were eventually captured and drained of their power by the corporate media apparatus; and the next iteration of television was the computer and the internet and all the attendant satellite devices that define this digital age.

When I quit watching television in 1969, very little else changed in my life. My arts of writing and music were independent of television, and communications for personal and business matters were fast and effective by telephone and through the post office. But a couple years ago when I came out of a trance to find myself watching a basketball game on my computer, having sat down with the specific intention of rewriting a story, it suddenly dawned on me that computers are nothing more than interactive televisions, and now, oops, virtually all my personal and business dealings are inextricably bound to the use of the computer. Today I send my essays to the Anderson Valley Advertiser and other prescient publishers via email, I offer my music and books and art for sale through the internet, and to abstain from using my computer in the same way I abstained from using television would render me immediately and entirely removed from all but the most local of cultures, counter or otherwise.

Yet to stay hooked up to my computer is to be an active and addicted user of a medium that is the message, “Do and be and buy what we tell you to do and be and buy or you will never be safe and happy. Ever.” Except just as there are more layers to the computer/internet interface with our lives than there were with that earlier version of television, so are there more layers to the new medium’s message. Now, along with being told a million times a year what to do and be and buy, we are also compelled through the brutal elimination of alternatives to spend most of our time peering at our computer screens if we wish to feel connected to what we think is most important and meaningful, i.e. what is happening right now in those fields of endeavor we are most interested in.

Post offices, in my view, are among the last few vibrant vestiges of the non-computer way of doing and being, which is the real reason the Council of Evil Morons wants to strangle that marvelous system; so there will be no alternative, none at all, to computers and the internet as a means of doing and being, except on a local basis — very local. Which brings me to my latest idea for kindling the next cultural and social and political renaissance that will save the world and usher in the long awaited age of global enlightenment, which then may or may not precipitate contact with brilliant aliens who have been waiting for us to make the evolutionary leap from stupid selfish poopheads to smart generous sweetie pies.

My idea is that we start our own local post offices, without the aid of computers. We can use telephones to get the ball rolling, but not cell phones. These extremely local post offices will be adult versions of the post offices we had in First and Second Grade, manned by fun loving volunteers. Stamps created by a wide range of local artists will cost a nickel. You will need one stamp for every ounce of mail you send. Post office boxes (cubbyholes) will rent for ten dollars per year. The money collected from selling stamps and renting cubbyholes will go into maintaining the postal buildings with their clean and commodious adjoining public restrooms and teahouses.

Among the many cool things about these local post offices will be that they will be open seven days a week from morning until night, they will have tables and chairs where people can sit and write letters and decorate envelopes and gossip, of course, and they will have multiple gigantic well-maintained bulletin boards whereon anyone may post anything. Neato one-of-a-kind rainproof mailboxes created by local artisans will be scattered throughout the local watershed — and mail will be collected from these neato mailboxes several times a day and transported to the post office in colorful burlap bags. Then the letters will be sorted into our cubbyholes throughout every long day, thus making everyone feel safe and happy.

Yes, it would be easy to set up this kind of local post office using computers, but making something easy doesn’t necessarily make it good.

Todd’s snail mail address is PO Box 366, Mendocino CA 95460. His web site is UnderTheTableBooks.com.

You take the I-5 south from Sacramento for about three hours to state 41 at Kettleman City. Kettleman City is burgers and gas, but once you turn off, heading north on 41, you’ll drive through some lovely, pastoral rolling hills of burnt golds and still verdant greens.

20 or 25 minutes on 41 to the junction with 46 gives you time to feel James Dean coming, to appreciate his presence, then, now — always.

Roll to a stop at the junction, wire fences, some cattle grazing, low-lying hills, dusty brown, without housing, silence, the tall green and white sign: “James Dean Memorial Junction” — finally set in place several years ago by the area’s local state politicians.

It’s all very real. It could be Wyoming or Dakota. The Dean myths are made real. Truly a California place.

It’s about 3:30pm. Dean will be coming in about an hour.

Time enough to drive east on Highway 46 for a bit and trace the route of Dean’s silver Porsche Spider, the “Little Bastard.”

He’s got a recent cash contract with Warner Bros., a new sports car, a race in Salinas, a drive up from Los Angeles.

Driving up 46 for about 20 miles you’ll come to a still countrified mini-store. There you’ll see a billboard sized Jimmy with laurel flowers by local artist John Cerney. It will sort of stop you in your — and Dean’s — tracks. James Dean stopped here just before the final scene.

It’s beautiful back in here, again, wire fences, ranchland, sensuous, wheat golden hills, little to no traffic.

Here he comes, with his mechanic passenger, full out, James Dean, only seen in “East of Eden,” so far invincible, only 24 years old.

You can stop along 46 and guess at where he was stopped for speeding. His last living act was to sign a speeding ticket: James Byron Dean.

This day’s and that day’s glomming dust is settling in.

No headlights, low to the ground, Dean’s Spider is speeding toward the intersection.

The 54 Ford Fairlane, driven by Dave Turnupseed (that’s right) is coming up to the intersection. He’s east on 46, ready to turn left onto 41 south. James Dean is coming straight on.

“He’s not going to turn…” the Dean myth says. But the 54 Ford Fairlane made of solid US steel does turn left.

Does he see James Dean? Perhaps. Does he try to get out of his way? Perhaps. Does Dean slowdown? Perhaps. Fate? Perhaps.

You can feel it in the front seat of your car. Dean’s sheet-metal Spider hits the Fairlane, Dean’s driver’s side out, shearing it away, snapping Jimmy’s neck, crushing his chest. Instant death? Perhaps — the mechanic is thrown clear and alive.

Roll to a stop, no traffic signals, no weekday traffic. “Two fast too live/too young to die…”

Ah, what might have been — “Easy Rider” with him.

From the junction, stay on 46 for just a bit and you’ll come to the Jack Ranch Cafe and its gravel parking lot — at a spot in the road, Choalme, California. The Jack Ranch Cafe is a true roadhouse ramshackle, ornery and still active — all by its lonesome. A true original, cowboy boots and spurs or red jacket, white t-shirt, jeans, motorcycle boots.

In the gravel parking lot you will see one lone oak tree, tall, thick and spidery. Partially wrapped around the oak like an embrace, tall, thick and silver — James Dean and his life dates.

The memorial has been described as representing a car fender wrapped around a tree, representing the accident?

Not so — it’s a peace garden. You will understand when you read the inscription words of Seiti Ohmishi, on a plaque at your feet. Seiti Ohmishi, the Japanese businessman who gave us this memorial in thanks to James Dean and much more. It can bring you to tears, so unexpected. It did.

You can sit and have a Jack Ranch beer on the low stone wall around the memorial.

Daylight is fading, casting shadows across the open ranchland. Quiet on the set.

Dinner in Steinbeck’s Salinas. Right into “East of Eden” and home.

Tehachapi State Prison, 2012 — Prison is a hustler’s paradise where only the strong survive. It’s full of buyers and sellers and everyone is a con-artist. Hence the term con-artist. The weak are susceptible to the game early and are easy to spot. You can tell when it’s someone’s first rodeo, as they say around here. Their title here is “first-timer” and they might as well have it tattooed on their face. Their fear or lack thereof is easy to spot. They’re still wet behind the ears and a little green, if you know what I mean. Although their ages may vary their demeanor doesn’t. They either have wide eyes and are walking on eggshells, or they carry themselves like they don’t have a worry in the world because they still have no idea what’s in store for them.

Think of your first term as something like your freshman year in high school. Its going to be an experience. I don’t care if you are the biggest guy in class or the smallest. Your surroundings are new and so are the people. You will be tested. Crash course. Your little world just got much bigger and whatever you thought you were just became much smaller.

I think it’s pretty safe to say once you make it through your first term you’re a man. What kind of a man depends on the type of people you rolled with. You could parole with newfound skills that could exceed your criminal expectations, from extracting Excedrin in your microwave to being gone in 60 seconds. The choice is all yours. The professionals are all here only too eager to tutor some new pupils. I promise you we do breed killers, along with any other felonious titles you can think of. We do not discriminate and are accepting all applications. No matter what brought you here to this war zone known as the California Prison System — green you may enter, but only educated you may leave.

A criminal mind is a terrible thing to waste. I tell you from direct experience that all the world’s best artists, poets, rappers and even athletes are all locked up. I tell you Little Wayne would slap himself for saying he is the best rapper alive if he could hear some of these cats spit a few bars of what I’ve been privileged enough to hear while I’ve been down. The artists, the rappers, the ballers. They’re all here.

I swear to you the next Michael Jordan is locked up. Forget the NBA draft, check San Quentin. As for the artwork, it’s almost worth coming to prison to see — and I’m not just talking about prison tattoos either, although that’s so true that it should go without even saying. The portraits, collages and other artworks I’ve seen would blow your mind. Where else does someone find the time to perfect their craft? I’m talking about spending ten hours on an eyebrow, three weeks on a hook, and six years on an album! It kind of makes you forget about that kid’s jump shot in San Quentin, doesn’t it?

I happen to live next door to one of the most talented artists/songwriters the world has never seen. I kid you not. What I’m witnessing daily has to feel something like watching John Lennon and Paul McCartney discover themselves before they become legends. His style in general would have to be labeled as pop or R&B, but with a twist and flavor no one’s ever seen outside the prison walls. He’s got a California drawl and a swagger that is all his own. He could chew up any rapper alive and serenade your girl out of her panties at the same time. To say dollar signs are in his future would be an understatement and no one even knows he exists. He’s never even seen a studio, but vocally he’s on top of his game and lyrically he’s off the charts. Still, with all his talent, will you ever know his name? Will he ever be discovered? You will never see a convict on American Idol. If America’s Got Talent, then Prison’s Got Professionals — or at least it breeds masters of their professions.

How many Michael Vicks got busted before Virginia Tech? Before changing the quarterback position as we know it. What if he was mopping floors at Leavenworth for 12¢ an hour before we ever knew his name? What if the only NFL action he ever saw was in a prison dayroom on a Sunday afternoon?

Look at Mike Tyson. Once upon a time the baddest man on the planet. Heavyweight Champion of the World. Also a convicted felon who had a long fall from grace and went to prison at the peak of his career.

Imagine if that fall from grace wasn’t as far. What if they never reached the top of their profession? What if they were sentenced to prison before they became household names? Would that have made them any less remarkably talented athletically? In short, the answer is no. I tell you this for a fact. I’m surrounded by more talented individuals then all the outsider stars combined.

The sky is a deep purple and a warm night is falling over the mountains that surround this prison yard. My favorite song is being sung by an individual most people don’t even know exists. As he beats on his chest to a soundtrack you’ve never heard he has our full attention and, as a crowd, we react at all the right moments.

I sit on the edge of my seat so I can keep my forward attitude. I continuously soak in my surroundings. In prison the critical subtext of every situation is animal. Never let your guard down. Even in silence everything is territory and dominance. A battle for advantage.

There’s something in the air. I can sense it. A disturbing silence envelops the whole yard. The hushed conversations, the sounds of boots on the pavement, even the crickets are silent. As I scan my surroundings in search of all this tension, a buzzer sounds. That’s followed by a voice over the public address system screening, “Down on the yard!”

The song has been cut short but the soundtrack continues playing out around me. I prone out on my stomach with the other 300 inmates on the yard. We were just trying to enjoy a warm evening out of our cells and now some kid is bleeding all over the grass some 50 yards away from me. He’s trying to hold his face together having just been sliced with a razor. Soon cops and guards and medics are all over the situation. They cuff anyone within 10 feet of the bleeder in the grass. The medics are rushing the bleeder in a wheelchair across the yard to the clinic. All that remains is a black shadow in the grass, staining the area where the boy had bled. Another five minutes of deathly silence is finally broken by that familiar voice over the public address system: “Resume program!”

Slowly I rise to my feet along with the rest of the yard. Boots scrape the pavement, conversations continue and groups re-converge. Now from the top, California picks up the beat on his chest in tune with the soundtrack around us. As the song continues I realize with certainty that this is truly a song I’ll never forget by an artist the world may never know.

To be continued. Submitted and all that mumbo-jumbo as the saga continues. I just thought I’d shoot this to the AVA readers and see what they think. Cheddar Bob still continues to work on his story as the editors very well know. Sometimes it’s worth printing and still other times it’s worth forgetting.

Ronald Rhea

Tehachapi

It was a big win for Romney who showed he could break 25%. He wiped out the opposition and took a big stride towards the nomination. All the same, as New Hampshire primaries go, it was a very dull affair, at least for those of us who remember such excitements as the trickle of Ed Muskie’s tears — or was it merely snow? — turning his 1972 front-runner campaign into a mighty river of defeat.

The much touted grudge debates last weekend between Romney and Gingrich were pallid. Sheldon Adel­son, a billionaire Las Vegas casino mogul and fanatic supporter of Benjamin Netanyahu, poneyed up $5 million for a Friends-of-Newt operation, which did pro­duce a brilliant campaign ad against Romney, the Job-Slayer. No traction for Gingrich came of it, though maybe further outpourings from Adelson and friends could pump life back into his campaign down south.

Romney’s big foot-in-mouth moment came when he remarked in a campaign trail speech that “I like firing peo­ple.” He was actually talking about the freedom to fire your health insurance company, a luxury supposedly enjoyed by Americans until Obama passed his health bill, but he’ll be whacked over the head with the line for a while.

Now Romney heads down south to a likely victory in South Carolina and probably in Florida. Such triumphs, should they come to pass, will plunge the election indus­try into profound crisis. At this stage in the game, pre­cisely one week after the presidential year opened with the Iowa caucuses on January 3, no one — except per­haps the candidate himself — wants to have the race locked up. The news business, led by the TV networks, wants cliffhangers. Campaign managers, dirty tricksters, and kindred consultants want volley after volley of cam­paign ads rolling dollars into their pockets. There are armies of “strategists” to be fed their campaign stipends.

At this stage in the game back in 1992, Bill Clinton was fighting for his life after his affair with Gennifer Flowers gradually seeped into public consciousness. In 2008, Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton slugged it out, round after round and well into the summer.

Will scandal breathe life into the campaign? Does the limber Romney have any dark personal secret still pant­ing in the closet? Could he emulate the shameful John Edwards and be faithless while his wife Ann endures MS, just as Edwards’s wife Elizabeth fought cancer even as John carried on his romance with Rielle Hunter? It seems very unlikely, and even if some affair from Rom­ney’s pre-marriage days doing his two-year stint as a Mormon missionary in Paris surfaces it probably wouldn’t do him any harm.

The same problem of being the locked-in nominee confronted John McCain in 2008. He won New Hamp­shire, South Carolina, Florida and then the super-Tues­day primaries, just as Romney is likely to do. Desperate to give his campaign a lift, McCain used the opportunity of the Republican convention to pluck Sarah Palin from her grizzly-skin rug in the governor’s mansion in Alaska. Last week, Tea Party queen Michele Bachmann, perhaps hoping for the Palin role, was notably restrained in her comments on Romney.

Ron Paul will fight on, and give the campaign season at least the semblance of life. In New Hampshire he won strong support from low-income Republicans and the young. It’s conceivable he could bolt onto the Libertar­ian third party ticket. It would certainly juice up the political year. High-level Republicans are reportedly threatening Paul that if he does bolt, they’ll make sure that his son Rand is not re-elected Senator in Kentucky in 2016.

Meanwhile Obama is running the sort of campaign incumbent presidents usually wage, seeking to display mastery on the international stage, preferably by waging war or threatening to do so. With this in mind, Obama has been steadily driving Iran into a corner with boycotts and sanctions. It seems likely that what Obama is maneuvering towards is for a desperate Tehran, its back to the wall with a collapsing currency, to make the first bellicose move.

It’s nothing new. President Roosevelt pushed a desper­ate Japan into war with his embargoes and eco­nomic sanctions. For the attack on Pearl Harbor, substi­tute the Iranians mining the straits of Hormuz.

War on Iran: It’s Not A Matter of “If”

The world’s press is choc-a-bloc with “if” questions about Iran and war. Will Israel attack? Is Obama, coerced by domestic politics in an election year, being dragged into war by the Israel lobby? Will he launch the bomb­ers? Is the strategy to force Iran into a corner, methodi­cally demolishing its economy by embargoes and sanc­tions so that in the end a desperate Iran strikes back?

As with sanctions and covert military onslaughts on Iraq in the run up to 2003, the first point to underline is that the US is waging war on Iran. But well aware of the US public’s aversion to yet another war in the Middle East, the onslaught is an undeclared one.

The analogy here is the run up to Pearl Harbor. Let me quote from a useful timeline. On October 7, 1940, a US Navy IQ analyst, Arthur McCollum, wrote an eight-point memo on how to force Japan into war with US. Beginning the next day FDR began to put them into effect and all eight were eventually accomplished.

On February 11, 1941 FDR proposed sacrificing six cruisers and two carriers at Manila to get into war. Navy Chief Stark objected: “I have previously opposed this and you have concurred as to its unwisdom.

In March 1941 FDR sold arms and convoyed them to belligerents in Europe — both acts of war and both viola­tions of international law — the Lend-Lease Act. On June 23, 1941 Advisor Harold Ickes wrote FDR a memo the day after Germany invaded the Soviet Union, “There might develop from the embargoing of oil to Japan such a situation as would make it not only possible but easy to get into this war in an effective way. FDR was pleased with Admiral Richmond Turner’s report read July 22: “It is generally believed that shutting off the American supply of petroleum will lead promptly to the invasion of Netherland East Indies…it seems certain she would also include military action against the Philip­pine Islands, which would immediately involve us in a Pacific war.”

The next day FDR froze all Japanese assets in US cut­ting off their main supply of oil. US. Intelligence information was withheld from Hawaii from this point forward. Against protests from US naval commanders the West Coast fleet was moved to Hawai’i.

John Maynard Keynes once said, “The best way to destroy the capitalist system is to debauch the currency. By a continuing process of inflation, governments can confiscate, secretly and unobserved, an important part of the wealth of their citizens.” Ronald Reagan used to attrib­ute this insight to the man he loved to call “Nikolai Lenin,” thundering from podium after podium across America, that Lenin had said, “The best way to destroy the capitalist system is to debauch the currency.”

You want a graphic illustration of what US embar­goes are doing in the way of debauching Iran’s currency?

Imagine if the Iranians had done this to the US dol­lar? Can you imagine any American politician who would have refrained from calling this an act of war?

To further inflame the leadership in Iran we had last week the murder of Iran nuclear scientist Ahmadi Roshan which came on the one-year anniversary of the murder of two other Iranian nuclear scientists by similar methods. As CounterPuncher Peter Lee writes, “It came at a time of heightened tensions (anyway, tensions higher than the usual heightened tensions), inviting the infer­ence that somebody, probably somebody in the region, wants to goad the Iranian government into a response that could start the military action ball rolling.”

As for the embargoes of Iranian oil, Obama is most certainly doing the oil industry a big favor. There have been industry-wide fears of recession-fueled falling demand and collapse of oil prices. That has led to indus­try-wide enthusiasm (aided by heavy pressure from the majors) for strongly cutting total world oil production (and enjoying the bonuses flowing from the subsequent world price rise), with all the cuts to be taken out of the hide of the Iranians. The Financial Times made clear the need to shrink world production in the following key paragraph in a report last week: “Oil prices have risen above $110 a barrel since Iran threatened to shut down the Strait of Hormuz, the world’s most important oil chokepoint, accounting for about a third of all seaborne traded oil. Oil fell to a low of $99 in October amid global economic growth worries.”

As Pierre Sprey remarked to me, “Note also that this is one of those rare but dangerous moments in history when Big Oil and the Israelis are pushing the White House in the same direction. The last such moment was quickly followed by Dubya’s invasion of Iraq.”

It’s somewhat immaterial to ask whether Obama really wants war with Iran, thus interfering with the “strategic pivot” to Asia. Presidents are creatures of cir­cumstances and lobbies, and Obama is certainly no exception. We have to hope that the traditional prudence of Iran’s leadership prompts them not to make some des­perate retaliatory lunge, such as mining the Straits of Hormuz, or offering some kindred excuse to the US to up the tempo of the undeclared war it is already waging.

To the Tumbrils! 

Some readers of my consignment last week of certain words to the tumbrils expressed curiosity about the word. A tumbril was a farm cart. They were used to carry pris­oners to the guillotine during the French Revolution.

Some more candidates. Fred Gardner writes: “Add ‘Gamechanger’ to the mis- and over-used words of 2011. For years I’ve winced as lawyers and businessmen and reporters casually used ‘game’ in reference to the legal system, finance, war itself… You sometimes see a bumper sticker on a sports car that says ‘the one with the most toys wins.’ It makes me want to give them a little nudge with the old Volvo…”

Jon Swift: “Also the drug-treatment shibboleth: ‘The user’s always chasing that first high.’ As though they couldn’t possibly enjoy it the 875th time. You never hear ‘Religious worshippers are always chasing that first feeling of being at one with God,’ or ‘Voters are always chasing that first thrill they got on entering the booth at 18’….”

Wat Stearns: “I nominate ‘expensed’ and ‘leveraged’ for the tumbrils as well.”

Let me toss in the odious “project,” initially favored by the left but now in general currency, attached to almost every human endeavor. Also “conversation” — a way of taming all debate and doctrinal struggle into demure prattle. And let us note the meteoric rise of “existential.”

Tumbril time! And if you want a vivid sense of what it was like for French aristos condemned to death to hear the rattle of the tumbril as it arrived to take him to the guillotines, I advise a trip to the Conciergerie in Paris. Very creepy.

Alexander Cockburn can be reached at alexandercockburn@asis.com.