And so, perhaps inevitably, your Quotes of the Week are all concerned with my third favorite animal: the pig. “Think P.I.G. — that’s my motto. P stands for Persistence, I stands for Integrity, and G stands for Guts. These are the ingredients for a successful business and a successful life,” from American businesswoman and inspirational speaker, Linda Chandler. Then let’s go to “The difference between involvement and commitment is like ham and eggs. The chicken is involved; the pig is committed,” from former tennis star Martina Navratilova. I like this from Albert Einstein: “Well-being and happiness never appeared to me as an absolute aim. I am even inclined to compare such moral aims to the ambitions of a pig.” Next up it’s, “I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig — you get dirty; and besides, the pig likes it,” from the Irish playwright and author, George Bernard Shaw. And finally this proverb and its wise and hopeful thought: “Even a blind pig finds an acorn every once in awhile.” Now go eat some pork at the Barn Sale!

Public Service Announcements. Calendars and pens at the ready. #72. Grange Groove has returned to, where else?, The Grange, on Hwy 128. It’s always the 3rd Friday of the month, in this case May 18th, and the ‘free-dance for all’ runs from 8pm on. This month it features dancing and gyrating to the sounds played by D.J. Stevie D, whose actual grown-up name is Steve Derwinski. (So now it’s Derwinski the DJ.? Who knew?) Anyway, it’s an evening of family fun that is drug and alcohol free (and yet I’m sure it’s still lots of fun! (I’m kidding!)) #73. The annual Pinot Festival takes place this weekend from May 18th thru 20th. #74. The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital will return to the Valley twice more this month, Thursdays, May 24th and 31st. They will be at the AV Farm Supply on Hwy 128 from 2-3:30pm on each occasion but have asked me to inform you that you do not have to arrive early and then wait a long time; everyone showing up at anytime before 3:30pm will be seen. And if you call 48 hours in advance (462-8833) you can ensure that your pet’s medical charts are brought over and order any meds that may be needed. #75. The Guest Chef Dinner benefiting the Senior Center this month will feature Maple Creek Winery owner and chef, Tom Rodrigues. It’s Friday, June 1st and Tom will be serving an Hawaiian-style bbq, featuring pork ribs marinated in pineapple, mango, tamari, shallots, and garlic; chicken thighs marinated in ginger, pineapple, mango, fruit juice, citrus; a fresh green salad with lots of goodness and Hawaiian herbs; and Fresh Tropical Fruit with homemade whipped cream for dessert. Tropical attire is requested! Call 895-3609 to get tickets. This event will sell out.

Topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge — “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley.

…The AV Farm Supply, as owned by Dave and Nancy Gowan, will be gone within a month. Last I heard there were still some positive developments on the possibility that the new owners, who are to be the locally-based Ardzrooni Vineyard Management, will to some degree keep the current operation as it is, while also “doing their own thing.” Along with many other Valley folks, I certainly hope they manage to be successful at doing both.

…Good reports on the 1st Annual Fish and Chips dinner to benefit Youth Footballers who next season will be playing on the new High School JV team. Around $1700 in profit was raised and this should go a long way in covering the new helmets and uniforms that the newly formed team will need.

…The 16th Annual AV Beer Festival — same as always. Great fun for many; excessive drinking for some; ridiculous stupidity by a few. For some of us it was a case of “done it, seen it, enough is enough.”

…Members of the AV Unity Club stopped by at The 3-Dot last week and reminded us that they meet at The Fairgrounds at 1:30pm on the first Thursday of the month. Dessert and tea or coffee is served to accompany the business meeting and a guest speaker or some form of entertainment. I informed them that I’d be there and then read in their leaflet that “all ladies in the community are welcome.” I fully understand. A male in the room would create a different “vibe” — just as a woman in attendance at the local Gentlemen’s Military History Book Club would. Some things should not be messed with simply to address political correctness and surely there is nothing wrong with that.

Time to take my leave. Keep the Faith; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you. One final request, “Let us prey.” Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture. PS. Contact me with words of support/abuse through the Letters Page or at turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net. PPS. On the sheep, Grace. PPPS. Despite what many of you may think, it’s not all glamour being a Turkey Vulture, but I must say we do get many compliments. My favorite, that has no doubt been mentioned here before, comes from no less an expert than the naturalist of Evolution fame, Charles Darwin, who said about us Turkey Vultures, “A disgusting bird whose bald scarlet head is formed to wallow in putridity.” Thank you, Charles, you’re very kind.

THE ANDERSON VALLEY Community Action Coalition is inviting the community to discuss its future the evening of Tuesday, April 17th, 6-8, at the Live Oak Building. Funded out of a grant due to expire and not likely to be renewed, the CAC is seeking alternatives.

ACCORDING to the Redding police, Jamal Essayah, described as “a 24 year old transient,” deliberately threw himself into the path of a bus, then a passing van, last Thursday (April 5th). Essayah is well known and highly regarded in the Anderson Valley where he has lived off and on for some ten years. A bright and engaging young man, his sudden disappearance when his family reported him missing a week ago, shocked everyone who knows him, and his apparent suicide attempt in Redding is regarded as inexplicable by his many friends in Mendocino County. Redding police suspected Essayah was on methamphetamine when he threw himself into traffic on one of Redding’s busiest streets, but hospital tests revealed he was not under the influence. He is not known to have used drugs while a resident of Boonville. Essayah remains in intensive care in a Redding hospital but, doctors say, is expected to recover from his nearly fatal injuries sustained in Thursday’s startling event.

MONIKA FUCHS WRITES: “I too was harassed by Mr. Farrer while walking with my dogs on his precious, private road. And it was not the first time. Mr. Farrer seems to think of his property as his personal fiefdom and wont even consider people out for a stroll as his neighbors but sees them only as intruders. I don’t think his behavior is racially motivated because I am as white as can be and was treated just as hostile and combative as everybody else. The same goes for the forever changing Shenoa caretakers. If I am remembering correctly, Rebecca is the fifth in the 10 years I have lived in the valley. What is this American obsession with the NO-Trespassing Sign? I cannot understand it. Even River’s Bend, the former Wellspring Renewal Center has put up an unfriendly no-trespassing sign and that from a place that always struck me as Hippy Central! The European settlers of yesteryear certainly did not bring this with them from the old country. In Europe hiking and walking trails often meander thru private property and that seems to work just fine. What is happening in our community? The well-off and their minions are circling the wagons? Hiding behind fences? Might they be afraid of their neighbors? Why not instead try to get to know the people that live around you? I live on a one acre property right in Philo and I invite Mr. Farrer and Rebecca and Justin, current caretakers at Shenoa; to stop by anytime and talk a walk in my garden, have a seat on my porch and should I’ll be home, I even make’m a cup of tea and tell them all about the historic home I live in, if they are interested.”

MYSELF, I also have to wonder what Farrer thinks he’s doing. Ditto for Jeff Skoll at Shenoa, and who knows why Wellspring, lately re-christened RiversBend, has suddenly gone all private property on its neighbors. Of course old hippies often go mean in their dotage, all that smiling and love bombing finally overcoming them. Farrer has zero standing. Ray’s Road, as it passes the Farrer place, is your basic easement-by-historic-use public way. That stretch of barely maintained country road has been freely traveled by whomever and whatever for a hundred years. It’s not Farrer’s road, and anyone passing by who’s harassed by the old goat should either tell him to get back on his meds or call the cops on him. It’s not as if the south end of Ray’s Road sees more than a pedestrian or two a day in the first bleeping place, so Farrer must be lying in wait for the opportunity to leap out and woof-woof at the rare passerby. As for Emperor Skoll at Shenoa, lord of all he surveys at E-Bay, does he deliberately hire unsocialized caretakers or do these oafs and oaf-ettes merely reflect his tidy bowel personality? RiversBend? I can’t help but remember when the Falleris owned it, Frank and Lenore. Imagine the most gracious, welcoming, accommodating couple you know and you’ve got the Falleris. They’d be aghast, mystified even, at all the unneighborliness that’s taken hold on Ray’s Road.

EARTH DAY CLEAN UP, April 14, 2012. A great opportunity for local folks to get out to the Mouth of the Navarro River for what hopefully will be a nice weather day while helping to make this part of the world an even more beautiful place. Navarro-by-the-Sea Center, Earth Day Clean Up, Saturday April 14th, 9am to 4pm. Volunteer shifts from 9 to noon and 1 to 4. Free bbq picnic lunch noon to 1 for all volunteers. Please join us if you can for our first annual Earth Day Clean up at Navarro Beach and Navarro-by-the-Sea. Bring your gloves, work boots, and tools if you have them, and please come down and help out. Navarro Beach and Navarro-by-the-Sea needs your energy and support. Projects include trash pickup along beach and river, garbage and slash removal around historic Mill House and Inn, invasive English ivy and eucalyptus removal and disposal, painting and cleanup of Mill House, and repairs to workshop building. To get to Navarro-by-the-Sea, follow Navarro Beach Road west from Highway 1 on the south side of the Navarro River out to the beach. Check in on 4/14 at the table set up in front of the Mill House (the first house you come to along Navarro Beach Road). Check in starts at 8:45 for the morning shift and at 12:45 for the afternoon shift. Please contact Jim Martin at 707-877-3477 or beach1127@aol.com with any questions and/or to RSVP if you want to partake in the free bbq lunch for volunteers — so we can plan for enough fixins for all! Hope to see you there on 4/14. And watch for construction to finally start on the Inn later this spring. First with demolition of the non-historic motel building, followed by critical stabilization work on the Inn. — Linda MacElwee.

JUST IN FROM UKIAH: “The city has installed a bench at School and Standley, which is bolted to the sidewalk facing an empty store for a nice view of a window that’s been papered over from the inside and the massage parlor next door. The bench is one of those million dollar powder coated ones with the cutout of a tree in the back; it’s about a foot off the School Street curb, but of course facing 180 degrees in the wrong direction. Also: Two garbage cans are three feet to the immediate north of the bench. A supreme feat of engineering, planning, design and accountability!”

GRASSROOTS Peace Conversion with John Lewallen. Philo’s Congressional candidate invites us, “Please come and participate in creating a peaceful conversion. How can we convert a weapons industry to create jobs and build a society based on renewable energy? Keynote speaker Bruce Gagnon brings 20 years of “Create Peace in Space” work to Lauren’s Restaurant, Hwy 128, Boonville, on Saturday, April 14, 12 noon until 3:30. Poetry by David Smith-Ferry, “Of this Earth” music with Bill Taylor or Jaye Moscariello, and a special song of freedom by Miranda will be offered. This Peace Conversion event is hosted by the John Lewallen for Congress Campaign. For information, call (707) 895-2996.”

MUCH ACTIVITY of the clean-up type underway at the former Guerrero Tire Shop, South Boonville. Rumors say an enterprising young man will soon be freshly enterprising at that historically fraught site.

COME JOIN in on the fun of celebrating Earth Day by helping to build an outdoor classroom and work on the Creek trail at the Anderson Valley Elementary School. There is going to be a workday Saturday April 21st from 9am-3pm down in the lower field area at the AVES. We are going to be building an outdoor classroom for the students, as well as adding some finishing touches to the Creek Trail and removing some invasive plants along with general clean up of the area. Snacks and lunch will be provided. Bring gloves, hat, water bottle, and wear sturdy shoes. For more information and to RSVP to be included in the lunch count, call Linda MacElwee 895-3230 or email rivercenter@mcn.org. (Linda MacElwee)

WE HEAR a tour bus specializing in UK lookie-loos will soon be making regular stops in Boonville on Thursday mornings.

WAY EARLY, but the Hendy Woods benefit tickets for the Kris Kristofferson concert on the Mendocino Headlands, Wednesday, 11th July can be investigated at HendyWoods.org.

THE REVIVED Boonville Assembly of God church got off to a well-attended re-launch on Easter Sunday, as jubilant congregants invited passersby to come on in. Pastor Jerry Rivera is at the pulpit.

DANIEL ANGULO of Philo is not only an honors student at Sac State as he was here at Boonville High School a few years ago, he’s got a good shot at being elected student director of the social sciences and interdisciplinary studies department.

AT MONDAY night’s school board meeting, Salvador ‘Chava’ Gutierrez was awarded a $2,000 college scholarship from the Emeryville-based bond company financing Anderson Valley’s school building rehab.

THE LATE RAINS have wrecked havoc on Panther baseball, but in between the storms the Panthers have acquitted themselves well in games with Clearlake, Point Arena and Calistoga, as Oren Klein was named to the all-tourney team at Point Arena, having elicited oohs and aahs from the crowd with his crucial and perfect suicide squeeze. Justin Soto pitched well in a 5-4 loss to Calistoga.

IN AN ACCIDENT that has so far gone unreported, a man driving on 128 near Navarro last Saturday morning had an oak tree fall on his vehicle. He was airlifted outtahere but that’s all we know. So far.

THERE’S ALWAYS A LOCAL ANGLE. Two weeks ago, a 76 year old Willits man went missing. A search was mounted by Mendocino County Search and Rescue volunteers, Brooktrails Fire Department, the Community Emergency Response Team, Mendocino County sheriff’s deputies, and Philo resident Natacha Durandet and her German Shepherd called Bavo, but couldn’t find the old guy until… Ms. Durandet and Bavo were on the case! Ms. D is a sommelier from France’s Loire Valley, and a partner in Phillips Hill Winery. She also functions as sales consultant at Violet Green Winery in Humboldt County.

BAVO is eight years old and has been with Durandet from puppyhood. Durandet estimates that together they have had about four years of search training. The Bavo-Durandet team is also a member of the California Rescue Dog Association. According to Willits News reporter Linda Williams, “Bavo started at the victim’s home, where he was provided with a sole from one of the victim’s shoes to imprint on. … After leaving the victim’s home, their assignment was to begin searching in a new area identified by a potential witness. A utility worker told searchers he might have seen the victim on Madrone Drive. Bavo caught the victim’s scent near that location and followed his nose to where the man was eventually found, lying on the ground in a forested area across a creek and down a muddy trail from the end of Brown Place. Durandet described how she worked with Bavo to locate his victim, stopping and recasting, to make sure he was really on the scent. Bavo’s nose found the victim lying in a location where, according to Durandet, a human searcher could have easily walked by without seeing him. Bavo and Durandet were among the last to arrive back at the command center. As they came in, the duo was greeted with a hero’s welcome, especially Bavo. Bavo was already a celebrity in Search and Rescue circles — this is the second lost victim he has successfully located since joining the team. When asked what kind of reward Bavo was going to get, Durandet laughed and said she had promised to stop at McDonald’s to get him a treat on their way home.”

A TEAM of game wardens set up check points near Jenner a couple of weeks ago, stopping 518 vehicles containing 1,568 abalone divers. They wrote 58 citations for 76 violations and seized 85 illegal abs.

WE’RE STILL TRYING to assemble a complete AVA archive, and will have one if we can find these three papers: February 1st of 1984; February 8th of 1984; and December 26th of 1984. If you have them, please let us know and we’ll haggle from there.

CLARENCE FREDERICK LEA was our Congressman from 1917 until 1949. You’d have to be a medium-old old timer to remember the old Democrat, and a cup of coffee to you if you know who succeeded Lea as our man in Washington.

A WOMAN calling herself Dianna Blakeley, further identifying herself as a real estate broker with Wine Country Real Estate Network, e-mailed the paper early Tuesday morning: “I am writing this with tears in my eyes. I came down here to Madrid, Spain with my family for a short vacation. Unfortunately, we were mugged and robbed at the park of the hotel where we stayed. All cash, credit cards and cell were stolen off us, but luckily for us we still have our lives and passport saved…” And send money.

I WROTE BACK: “With laughter in my heart because I know you are a crook with a medium-plausible little scam going here, I write to you for your home address here in the United States.”

AND MS. BLAKELEY REPLIED: “Oh, no. I know this sounds weird and you wouldn’t believe me. I wish I could call but I don’t have access to a phone at the moment….”

THE LATE FRANK CIECIORKA of Alderpoint was a modest, unassuming man of large gifts. His poster art from the 1960′s, to me and lots of other people, represents that era of dissent. It is rightfully included in “The 1968 Exhibit” that opened last Saturday at the Oakland Museum. Michael Rossman, who died in 2008, amassed a collection of some 23,000 pieces, among them Frank’s. Rossman’s infallible standard was that any art “that sticks it to The Man” went into his collection. The Oakland Museum show consists of 68 of the stickiest.

THE SHERIFF’S DEPARTMENT says bunko artists are calling County residents soliciting donations for the Department. Do not give these people any money or respond to messages from Western Union or the internet asking you to send money to the Mendocino County Sheriff’s Department.

AND SPEAKING of crooks, Amy Goodman of Democracy Now has again devoted considerable on-air time to Mendocino County’s longest-running scam, the Judi Bari Bombing. Goodman and a national network of dupes seem to think the case remains a mystery, apparently unaware or uncaring that it is eminently solvable by dna. Please note that our local public radio station, tax supported, permits no dissenting views on this particular fraud and quite a number of lesser ones, the great speakers of truth to power being the primary offenders. On the off chance anyone’s interested, the Bari matter is exhaustively discussed at our website theava.com

MO MANDEL, born and raised in Boonville, will perform at the Punchline Comedy Club in Sacramento from Thursday, August 30th through Sunday, September 2nd. The club is located at 2100 Arden Way. The kid is funny, and he’s catching on with roles in television sitcoms, none of which are yet called Boonville, fortunately for us.

NEPOTISM is defined as favoritism shown to a relative or palsy walsy for employment. The Anderson Valley schools have been heavy on nepotistic hiring practices just short of three-eyed, six-fingered children. Our community services district doesn’t have much opportunity for nepotism because it only employs a couple of people. But just in case, the CSD is considering a nepo-policy drafted by me, Mark Scaramella, aka The Major: “It is the policy of this district that relatives and friends of members of the Board of the Anderson Valley Community Services District shall not be employed by the District unless the employment preceded the election of the Board member by at least one year. Relatives of other District employees shall not be employed by the District in positions where the employee has the official authority to hire or recommend or approve the hiring, salary, or promotion of the relative. Relatives shall not be employed in the supervisory-subordinate relationship even if it results from marriage after the employment relation was formed. The supervisor-subordinate relationship shall be interpreted to include all levels of line administrative supervisors, from the lowest to the highest, not just the immediate supervisor.” Hereby offered to the School Board at no cost or attribution.

I WAS ALSO among members of the School Bond Oversight Committee who toured the elementary school and high school locker room last Wednesday in preparation for the remodel work now described as “Phase I” of the bond-funded school upgrade. The classroom remodeling is mostly an interior facelift of the classrooms, none of which will be expanded, enlarged or rebuilt but will get new floors and carpets, wall paneling and a “teaching wall” with slidable whiteboards and improved storage areas, along with long overdue upgraded electrical systems and computer hookups. But several minor areas of upgrade have been overlooked in the planning — curtains for outside light control and the logistics of moving the classes in and out of their rooms during construction being primary among them — leading some Oversight Committee members to wonder if the plans had been reviewed by teachers. One elementary teacher told us privately that teachers were “invited” to a review but that the invitation was at a time when few teachers were available and the reviews, such as they were, were very loosely organized.

THE REMODEL will be done two classrooms at a time; classroom contents, including students, will be moved into a modular classroom for four to six weeks, then moved back into their re-done classrooms. Construction Manager Don Alameida, a smart and affable man, said he’d look into what appears to be small-ish oversights.

A WALK THROUGH the dank funk of the high school locker rooms was not an encouraging experience. The locker rooms appear to be semi-abandoned. The tiled floor of one of the boy’s shower bays was teeming with termites. A toilet that looked to be out of service and backed up, turned out to be simply unflushed. Tile was crumbling. A storage area featured a floor refinishing machine blocking entry. The lighting was bad. Construction Manager Alameida explained what the remodel would do, but I had to wonder how the locker room had been allowed to deteriorate to the point where it had become a health hazard. I’m informed that few kids even try to shower at the gym after physical exertion; they simply go home after a sporting event to shower there. It was mentioned that students these days prefer more individual privacy, that they consider the open bay showers of yesteryear immodest. The shower area is scheduled to be substantially upgraded.

SEVERAL Oversight Committee members thought the school hadn’t done near enough to talk to coaches and athletes before coming up with the remodeling plans because the plans are short on space. Alameida ruefully conceded that the existing equipment storage problem will actually be made worse by the remodel. High school facilities are in their 7th decade, and maintenance over the years has been hit or miss — mostly miss.

BRUCE McEWEN has it on good authority that the winning pot plants at last season’s Emerald Cup dope championships was grown with “bunny balls” or rabbit fertilizer.

THE COMMUNITY SERVICES DISTRICT Board took another look at the abandoned “Ricard Building” on the south end of town last Wednesday night at the initiation of Board member Kathleen McKenna. Fire Chief Colin Wilson said that while he agrees the building is a blight and unsightly, it isn’t blighted enough to trigger an abatement order. The Chief added that even if the District had adopted the State Fire Code (it hasn’t), the building’s not an actual fire hazard because there’s no obvious break-ins, and no evidence of use by transients or drug dealers, adding that the building is more or less structurally sound, although a lot of the interior walls are coming apart. The District will consider writing another letter to Mr. Ricard at next month’s board meeting asking him to do something about his building. Ricard has been offered attractive amounts of money for his ramshackle eyesore but has turned them down.

NO DISRESPECT to the Chief about the Ricard structure, but Mendocino Village and Ukiah have abated buildings less flammable than Ricard’s kindling pile and much less unsightly, too. Not only is Ricard obstinately sitting on his building with its multiple commercial addresses in a town woefully short on commercial space without either selling or rehabbing it, he lives in Little River where comparable hazard and unsightliness would never be tolerated. Ricard also owns property in Mendocino where alarmed shrieks rent the seaside air if a property owner so much as alters the color of a window frame. It’s unfair to this community that this guy can interminably thumb his haughty nose at us. He’s the only property owner in Boonville who makes no effort whatsoever to maintain his place.

THE GOOD NEWS. Before they began getting rained out, the Panther baseball team, in a big upset, knocked off Rincon Valley Christian, on their field, 8-3. Justin Soto hurled a complete game 4-hitter for the win and also went 2-4 and stole two bases. Jose Gaxiola had a big day at the plate and was brilliant at shortstop, while Christian Tapia, moved from his accustomed right field to second base, racked up his first base hit ever.

LAST SATURDAY NIGHT, as deputy Craig Walker drove from Ukiah to Boonville in his patrol car, the deputy was startled by the sudden appearance of a car “about two feet off my bumper, literally.” The deputy pulled over to allow the careening vehicle to pass and to get a look at its license plate when another car pulled up behind the deputy on the shoulder. It was Mr. and Mrs. Gary Island. Island pointed at the suspect vehicle and told Walker that he’d just been sideswiped by the guy. The Islands were not injured, but their car was badly damaged, as was the drunk’s car as Walker discovered when he pulled the drunk over. Augustin Ayala-Hernandez of Boonville was taken into custody, his reading on the loop-o-meter was a very drunk 0.17, twice the legal limit.

NICE STORY in Sunday’s Press Democrat by Glenda Anderson on Valerie Hanelt of Yorkville, in which we learn that Ms. Hanelt is a former Santa Rosa teacher who is president of the Unity Club of Anderson Valley and a member of the Anderson Valley Community Services District Board. She is married to retired CalFire firefighter Hans Hickenlooper. The couple live in a house on Rancheria Creek built in the late 1960s by Ms. Hanelt’s parents.

BRUCE GAGNON, internationally acclaimed coordinator of the Global Network Against Weapons and Nuclear Power in Space, will be speaking on “Peace Conversion or Expanding Militarism” on Saturday, April 14, beginning at noon at Lauren’s Restaurant in downtown Boonville. Gagnon’s presentation is sponsored by the John Lewallen for Congress Campaign.

TERRY RYDER informs us that The Valley’s very own Bullet, assigned to deputy Craig Walker, is the fastest police dog in these parts, moving at 36 miles an hour over 90 yards, dusting all other cop dogs going away.

MURIEL ELLIS, part-time resident of Yorkville and ace of Boonville’s Trivial Pursuers along with Willie Housley and Mark Scaramella, and the mother of the aforementioned Ms. Ryder, has returned from the 35th annual American Crossword Puzzle Tournament at the Brooklyn Bridge Marriot founded by Will Shortz, editor of the NY Times Crossword Puzzles and a regular on National Public Radio. Muriel was among 12 contestants in the 80 year old-plus category but competed against all 650 people at the Tournament. How did she do? Well, of course.

DISCUSSING THE VALLEY’S oldest structures, as we were recently, Jeff Burroughs, a crack local historian comments, “At one time I was certain which building was the oldest standing structure in Boonville, but it was torn down about 15-20 years ago. It was an old home, built low to the ground, that sat out in the tall grass of the field between the Horn of Zeese Restaurant and what is now the Hanes Gallery; actually, it would have been right about at the back door of the Hanes Gallery Building if it was still there. It was built by J.D. Ball around 1851-1853. Let’s also not forget the first story of the Boonville Hotel, the part that survived the terrible fire of the 1890s, was originally built sometime in the 1870′s. Not far behind would be the Missouri House, its original structure — incorporated into what we see today — was built sometime before or just following the end of the civil war, 1862-1866 . The Missouri House and the Rancheria Reality Building are probably the only buildings still standing from when Boonville was Kendall’s City, circa. 1871-1873.” Jeff also points out that the very first Boonville was called Crossroads and was located near the present junction of 128 and 253.

LOCAL SPORTS FANS will want to know that Cloverdale High School’s Robbie Rowland is in his second year of professional baseball with the Arizona Diamondbacks, and doing quite well in their minor league spring training camp. Rowland’s throwing motion has been adjusted to bring more movement to his fastball, and with his new delivery he’s regularly getting the other boys out. His first season was rough, partly because he played through mononucleosis. Rowland’s father and brother Richie also played professional baseball, dad having made it to the bigs and Richie going on into the high minors. Robbie also holds the Redwood Empire basketball career scoring record for area high school players. All the Rowlands are well known in the Anderson Valley.

GLEN JENKINS, formerly of Anderson Valley, presently on an 18-month leave at San Quentin Point, Marin County, asks for words of good cheer from old friends. Write to Glen at Glen Jenkins Jr. #AK 6244, SQSP, San Quentin, Ca 94974.

A YEAR AGO, Emergency Dispatch directed deputy Walker to persuade an Indian Creek man to “discontinue harassing MCSO dispatch.” The Indian Creek man had been calling dispatch as many as 20 times a day to complain about a wide-ranging conspiracy against him by neighbors, law enforcement and unnamed others so vast “that it goes from Santa Rosa or even San Francisco all the way to the Del Norte County line.” Last week, this man distributed incoherent fliers in Boonville and Philo containing imprecise accusations that named Walker and several unidentified Indian Creek residents as being the primary conspirators against him. I know this guy. I remember him when he was an A student at Anderson Valley High School and, I might add, already a committed stoner, and I add that because every kid I can think of who regularly smoked marijuana at an early age became a kind of psychological cripple as an adult, if not worse. Propagandists for weed, including our supervisor, always seem to ignore the wholly negative effects the drug has on the many teenagers who get into it early and heavy. I knew this guy’s parents, as many of you did. I know that the guy was, for a time, a teacher but, as his mental health deteriorated, he lost his job and hasn’t worked in years. Maybe he lives on disability money, I don’t know. What I do know is that he’s being evicted because his neighbors have had enough of him and because he hasn’t been paying his rent. The guy is leaving threatening messages on the property of one neighbor. What worries me and everyone else in regular contact with him is that terrible speculation: How volatile, how dangerous is he? But here he is, another crazy guy getting crazier by the day with zero options available to even begin to try to return him to normal functioning. I don’t envy Deputy Walker his responsibilities.

A HOME AND HOME alumni series of basketball games commences this Friday night in the Mendocino High School gym. Next year, Boonville will meet the great Cardinals of yesteryear in the Boonville gym. All proceeds will benefit the football programs at both schools and will become an annual event. Anderson Valley will be represented by: Justin Johnston, Justin Rhoades, John Toohey, Mike Blackburn, Mike Wellington, Omar Ferreyra, Joe Martin, Emilio Torrales, Derek Soto, and John Paula.

JIMMY SHORT WRITES: “Today, I received an email from Darrol ‘Hank’ Cox, a member of the Anderson Valley Facebook page, who went to school in Boonville, as did his older sister Laurie and his older brother Donald. Although Don was not in the graduating class of 1974, he was in our class for many, many years when the Cox family lived on Nash Mill Road. Unfortunately, Hank advised me today that Don passed away over the weekend. Don lived in Kansas City, MO, and had a stroke a couple of years ago. He still managed to work and helped veterans with legal problems, working out of the Veterans Hospital in Kansas City. Hank told me he had a number of arrangements to make in a short amount of time, but did want all of us to know. On my personal Facebook page, under “School Days”, I have a number of pictures of Don. Hank and I had been working on Don to visit The Valley in September for the all-classes reunion over Fair Weekend. Their sister Laurie lives in Texas, and is married with 2 grandchildren, and their mother lives in Mount Vernon, in Washington state. I am sure our hearts and prayers go out to the Cox family during this difficult time. Also, in communicating with Waive, Debbie and Fred Clark about the reunion, Waive advised me that their brother David, who also went to school with many of us over the years, was killed in an accident in Fresno, in 1997. And we also lost graduating classmate John Ferguson several years ago as well. If anyone would like to reach out to the Cox family, Hank’s email address is: koda@peoplepc.com, and the mailing address is Darrol H. Cox, 2600 East Division 16, Anacortes, Washington 98274.”

IT WAS GOOD to hear from one of the Valley’s great volunteer firefighters of yesterday, Dave Martinez, who writes: “This is David Martinez writing at you, ex of LaVonne Creaser, father of Irene Soto, grandfather of Ricardo and Trina Soto. I now live in Mid Shasta County where I moved to be near my ancestral home, I am a member of the Winnemem Wintu Tribe, (Middle Water People) McCloud River Wintu. After a career change and a new way of life I retired from being a substance abuse counselor last August and moved to my sister and I’s little piece of land and heaven. I moved home primarily to become more active with my tribe. I returned to tribal life in 2000, I was invited to return to ceremony after I got sober. I participated in the War Dance on Shasta Dam Sept. 2004, and all of our traditional ceremonies throughout the year. As a dancer, warrior and getting older, (by no means an elder) I now have the free time to write letters, articles, press releases and communications to various local, state and federal officials….”

A RESIDENT of South Boonville had always thought windmills were a silent technology, but when that new one not far from his house on Hutsell Lane banged into operation the other morning, he said it was “like little hand grenades going off.” Probably because it’s a frost protection device, not a pump, and frost protection windmills can be noisy.

ENJOYED the first hour or so of Saturday night’s Variety show at the Grange hoping to catch my good friend Miss Willow Thomas reading her poem, but the combination of sauna-like heat in the close confines of the hall and a minor emergency sent me home early. Fortunately, Bruce Longstreet has contributed a full account of this most enjoyable annual event in today’s paper, and here’s to the incomparable maestro, Captain Rainbow, for producing another grand show.

KEVIN KISLING knocked in the winning run in last week’s Panther victory over Hanna Boy’s Center on Hanna’s Sonoma diamond. Kisling’s base hit won the game for Boonville, 7-6. Coach Anderson reported that Alberto Lopez made two great run-saving throws and Jose Gaxiola contributed a couple of base hits to the victory.

THAT SIDEWALK WORK at the old Schoenahl property in Boonville was required of current property owner, Mike Shapiro. Mike owns four parcels to the east of the spiffy new skein of concrete, and here’s hoping he puts some houses on them. For a couple of weeks now we’ve had calls from people seeking rentals, of which there seem to none.

TO THE ANONYMOUS newspaper donor who dropped off years of back issues, mucho gratitude-o, as we say in Boonville. We’re working to complete full sets, and your deeply appreciated contribution of ava’s from 1984 through 2004 from your archive has filled in crucial blanks. Thank you.

LOCALS haven’t seen this many steelhead spawning on the North Fork of the Navarro for many years, and the big rain that commenced about 1am Tuesday can only help more fish get upstream.

IMPRESSIVE RADIO work last week by The Valley’s Kathy Bailey and Cyd Bernstein speaking out for Hendy Woods on public radio’s California Report.

XAVIER FRANCIS, 20, formerly of Boonville, presently of Ukiah, has pled guilty to aggravated trespass of a residence, a misdemeanor. The DA will request that Francis be ordered to pay restitution to the Sanchez family of Boonville from whom several guns were stolen. Francis is assumed to be one of several young thieves who broke a sliding glass door to enter the Sanchez home and take the guns, for a total loss to the Sanchez family and their insurers of more than $9,000. Francis’s fingerprint was found at the scene. He has maintained his innocence and has refused to identify the other young men assumed to have assisted him with the burglary. Francis will be sentenced on March 22, 2012 at 9 o’clock in the morning in Department A. He faces three years probation with up to one year in the County Jail as a condition of probation.

IN CONJUNCTION with the Elementary School’s biannual Book Fair, on this coming Tuesday, 5-6:30pm, the 6th of March, there will be a pajama and ice cream party at the school, complete with story telling and games. Your little ones are sure to enjoy the heck of this one.

GENE HERR REMINDS US that the County’s Planning and Building Department “may finally be getting around to Anderson Valley’s zoning. But they intend to redo the land use codes first, and didn’t we just do that? Is anyone left at the purged Planning Dept. with any idea of how they spent several millions of dollars in studies and drafts and hearings in the past six years? We have been ‘reached out to’ on multiple occasions but hardly every listened to.”

ALSO from the Planning Director’s report to the Supervisors. Land Use Code Update: “Work has started on analyzing the existing code to identify needed revisions and new sections that need to be added. This work involves critical review of the Inland Zoning Code, the Subdivision Ordinance and other Resource management codes and review of other jurisdiction codes. We are also in the process of trying to schedule a series of community outreach meetings which are anticipated to occur in Ukiah, Anderson Valley, Willits, and Fort Bragg. This work is partially funded through the Sustainable Communities Grant that was secured last year in partnership with Health and Human Services and the Cities of Ukiah and Fort Bragg.”

TWO SCHOOL BOARD meetings are scheduled for in March, one on Monday the 5th of March, the other on Wednesday the 14th of March. According to Ms. Ivey of the district office, “There has not been an expulsion hearing scheduled as of today as both entities continue to work together to possibly resolve the issue.”

EXPECT A RADICAL improvement in girl’s softball this season at Boonville High School. Ms. Amber Mesa, who played the game at the college level, has assumed coaching duties from Pastor Bill Nobles whose instructional specialities seemed to be “sliding practice” and various forms of calisthenics more appropriate to Vegas chorus lines than girl’s softball.

PAM LAIRD WRITES: “I’m off to Brooklyn for the release of my daughter Eliza Factor’s novel, The Mercury Fountain. The story takes place in a utopian (dystopian) mining village in SW Texas in the early 1900s. Just found out its getting a great review in the New York Times this Sunday which puts it in the tradition of Upton Sinclair and Emile Zola! The farm stand will reopen March 8 for greens and lettuce on our Thursday through Saturday spring schedule.”

THE COOLEST BIKE RACK you’ll ever see now rests on the north side of Paysanne, the coolest ice cream and coffee kiosk you’ll ever see, both right here in Boonville, Mendocino County’s most happening place. The bike rack was designed by the endlessly creative Tim Glidewell, a modest man whose gifts are considerably more than modest.

IN OTHER BOONVILLE developments, that pavement work at the old Schoenahl apple stand is, I’m informed, one link in a sidewalk to run north a block or so.

TWO WEEKS AGO at the Mendocino County Vineyard Pruning contest at Nelson Family Vineyards in Hopland, finishing in the money were locals Apolinar Felix Robles of Roederer; Oscar Ojeda Hernandez of Goldeneye; and Fernando Bucio, Ardzrooni Vineyard Management of the Anderson Valley.

THE POSTAL SERVICE plans to close its Petaluma sorting center, meaning Mendo’s and the rest of the Northcoast’s mail will be sent to Oakland for processing before it wends its way back north to us. 228 jobs will be lost and our mail will take longer to reach us, this in the name of efficiency. Some of you will recall that Republicans, in their ongoing effort to eliminate government altogether, enacted legislation requiring that the Post Office set aside estimated retirement pay in advance, the only agency of government required to do that. In one move, that requirement bankrupted the people who got the mail delivered rain, sleet and snow. And did we mention that a functional Postal Service is a specific requirement of the US Constitution? Here in the Anderson Valley our post offices at Boonville, Philo and Yorkville are safe. For now.

POINT ARENA’s boy’s basketball team, as we go to press, remains alive in the small school basketball playoffs. Mendocino lost to perennial small school power, Ferndale, the AVA’s fave team, Laytonville, got dumped by Rincon Valley. Point Arena’s strong girl’s team lost by one to San Francisco Waldorf, while a very young Anderson Valley girl’s team of freshmen and sophomores coached by Bryan Wyant fought Pleasant Hill Adventist all the way to the final minutes only to lose to the Adventists, 56-48.

SPEAKING OF COMMUNITY betterment, Mike Foucault is certainly in line for a major ‘atta boy’ for his tree planting project on the high school’s traditionally bleak acres. Mike’s got a bunch in the ground with more going in the ground all the time, 140 or so by the time he’s finished.

IN OTHER GOOD NEWS, the return of Mike Langley to his Anderson Valley Way home is happy for Mike and everyone who knows him. The guy looks and sounds good, too, after a painful hegira begun by a serious stroke that took him in and out of hospitals and hither, thither and yon before he was finally well enough to resume his life in Boonville, where he belongs and where we all missed him.

DEPUTY WALKER has filed his report on the alleged embezzlement of upwards of $20,000 from the local PTA. Walker’s assessment of the case now rests with the District Attorney who will either dismiss the matter or pursue it. A third option might be an agreement to reimburse if it is clear that money is unaccounted for. The accused person is represented by the formidable Ukiah attorney Katherine ‘Kit’ Elliot.

A READER WRITES: “Your bit about Original Joe’s certainly brought back fond memories. You and I may have been eating in the place at the same time. Back in the 60s I worked on Montgomery Street, and once or twice a week three or four of us would go together out to eat. Original Joe’s was one of our favorite stopping spots. Kind of a rough area but 3 or 4 young guys in their late 20s and early 30s didn’t worry about the local toughs. We also would to go to Harrington’s down by the Hibernia Bank — lots of guys in there drinking lunch. Schroeder’s down on Front Street where most the waiters were old Germans with sore feet. I liked Sam’s in the alley for its shrimp louie — lots of shrimp, a couple slices of a hard-boiled egg, a couple of olives and lots of louie dressing. Now days when you ask for a shrimp louie the server asks you ‘What kind of dressing do you want?’ and when it comes it is two-thirds lettuce. Lotsa of drinking at lunch in those days. My top boss was a dumpy little florid face Irishman who had a six-martini lunch every day. The little son of a bitch was hell on wheels in the afternoon. I could go on and on but I will cut it off.”

WHEN AMERICAN WRITERS, the good ones, were not only widely known but somewhat esteemed, which would have been prior to 1975, Thomas Sanchez, author of the epic Rabbit Boss, a truly great American novel, was widely known and highly esteemed. The culture has since collapsed, but I mention Sanchez, who remains well-known and highly esteemed in England and France, because when he was in Boonville recently to work on a forthcoming novel he said that the breakfast panini he enjoyed at Mosswood Market was “the best panini I’ve ever had.” And this from a man who’s downed paninis all over the world!

CLIVE SILVERMAN WRITES: “Boonville tennis is alive and well in Anderson Valley. For the second time in a row the Anderson Valley USTA league team has won all three matches, this time against the very tough Airport Club team. We are 2-0 for the season, having beaten Cloverdale two weeks prior. David Ballantine and Clive Silverman played a very tight match, splitting sets with the top Airport team. 7-5, 2-6, 6-2. J.R. Collins and Arnaud Weyrich dominated in their match with a 6-3, 6-2 score. And though Jeanne Collins and Peter Gordon got off to a slow start, they finished their split set match decisively with a 1-6, 6-4, 6-4 win record. There may have been some home advantage as team Boonville know where all the dips and cracks are on our courts. We are working hard in our fundraising efforts with the hope of being ready to put in new courts for the community shortly after the high school tennis season ends in May. Please make donations out to the Community Foundation and be sure to earmark your funds for the Michael & Maureen Bowman tennis court endowment. The Anderson Valley team will host Healdsburg in our next and third match-up in winter league play this coming Saturday at 10 am, weather permitting. Come out and cheer on your team.”

I HAD THE PLEASURE of meeting Mr. and Mrs. Silverman this week, and I must say their enthusiasm for rehabbing the tennis courts at the high school is infectious. As they point out, tennis, like swimming, is a form of pleasurable exercise you can enjoy all your days and, if the courts have lights, all your nights, too. The Silvermans mentioned that they’re gathering donations of money and equipment, the latter, they hope, to be used by young people interested in learning the game. Donors are directed to these details for your tax deductible contribution:

For Credit Cards or PayPal.

Select “Donor Advised Fund” from dropdown menu

See: Bowman Family Fund – Grants recommended by Maureen Bowman.

Select “Donate to this fund now”

For Checks

Payable to: Community Foundation of Mendocino County

Reference Bowman Family Fund in the MEMO section

290 South State Street, Ukiah, CA 95482. 468-9882

Besides asking for your hard earned money and with or without the tennis courts restored, I encourage anyone looking for a new experience, a game, a challenge, a dynamic social interaction or just plain exercise, won’t you come play with us?

Contact:

Clive Silverman, clive@hughes.net . 895-2024

David Ballantine, dballantine@msn.com, 895-2583

THE COUNTY has cracked down on George Gowan’s place on Gschwend Road, not that the County can do much in the way of abatement beyond placing fines, then liens, on the targeted property until it’s so encumbered its owner is forced into a bankruptcy sale. (George is the late George Gowan’s son.) The County says George has too much stuff on the place, including what the County describes as “non-permitted residences” and they want most of it cleared off. When Monte Hulbert occupied the property, making his home in an ingeniously carved redwood stump, there was only Monte, a committed steward of the land. George is more of a committed collector, you might say, and the County says no, George, it’s gotta go.

SHAUNA ESPINOZA checks in with some good news: “The Junior High basketball season has come to an end with both boys teams having very successful seasons, both ending 14-1, with their only loss coming in overtime. The boys teams have worked hard and if you missed a game this year, you definitely missed out on some very good basketball. We cannot thank the parents and community enough for supporting these teams and cheering them on. They are truly star athletes and we should all be excited for the next couple of years. Now, our 8th grade boys have been invited to play in the 44th Annual Crescent City Jaycee’s Tournament on March 2nd and 3rd. This is a huge opportunity for them and sure to be a fantastic experience. In order to help offset the costs of this trip, the boys are doing a freethrow-a-thon this coming Saturday, February 18th. They will attempt to shoot as many free throws as they can out of 100. Please find your nearest 8th grader and sponsor or if you want to help the team as a whole, contact Coach Luis.”

FOR A WEEK NOW, the name of the accused has been promiscuously circulated. What if she’s innocent? Her reputation has been seriously damaged before the investigation of the allegations is complete, and barely just begun. Maybe the money isn’t missing, merely misplaced in one of the wonderfulness boxes.

SERIOUSLY, THE WAY these things normally work is that the accused is first confronted with the discrepant figures. He or she is then given an opportunity to explain the figures. If the explanation is defective the police are called. The police do an investigation and submit their findings to the District Attorney. The DA investigates. If he finds that an embezzlement has occurred he can either seek reimbursement or prosecute or both.

PRECEDENT. DA EYSTER, some of you will recall, sent a letter to Supervisor Kendall Smith telling her to either return the money she chiseled from the County on her travel account or else. Smith gave the money back because Eyster wasn’t jiving around. Smith would have been arrested and charged.

THE SUM alleged to have disappeared in this case is $23,000. The accused said Monday night that she had just learned of the letter being circulated and that people were already calling her a criminal.

JANUARY 30, 2012. Dear Parents, It was recently brought to our attention some problems with the finances in the PTAV’s bank account, an account separate from the district’s. PTAV and the district are working with law enforcement to determine who is responsible and to recover the funds. The PTAV Board is being restructured to better achieve the goals of the group. The PTAV’s mission has always been to support its members (parents and teachers) and create a closer relationship between home and school. The PTAV Board is committed to rebuilding a positive and collaborative relationship with the parents, teachers, and members of the community at large. Please be patient while they work through this restructuring in the next couple of weeks. The PTAV is a dynamic and active group of parents and school staff who have provided the help and funds to not only maintain, but to expand the programs in our school in the last five years. We are grateful for all the work and support this organization has provided. Sincerely, JR Collins, Superintendent; Donna Pierson-Pugh, Principal; Nicole Mclain, PTAV President.

ANOTHER INTERESTING EVENT in Boonville last week. A bunch of high school boys left the campus at the noon hour to enact their version of the movie, ‘Fight Club.’ When they straggled back bloody and bruised to resume the educational experience, the high school principal, an uneven fellow named Tomlin, declared that henceforth the campus would be closed at lunch time and, additionally, 13 boys would be suspended for a day while the ringleaders would even more punitive time off from the rigors of secondary scholarship. Tomlin’s disciplinary crackdown occurred for no real reason at all, but it’s in the ancient tradition of American high schools in that it was wholly arbitrary; some of the involved got whacked, some didn’t. But Principal Tomlin, who pulls down $92,000 for half a year’s work, was also unhappy for other reasons. Not only did the Fight Clubbers post their faux fisticuffs on the internet for global viewing, several of them offered full-face denunciations of Tomlin himself. A high school’s discipline guy is always going to be somewhat unpopular, but this guy is a little more than unpopular with his funding units, er, students. High school kids, boys especially, seriously dislike him, and there are lots of grumbles about him from parents, too. Anyway and overall about the Fight Club incident, so what? Teenage boys should be allowed to bleed their overloaded hormonal lines once in a while, and this event was really no more serious than boys being boys. Which they aren’t allowed to be much anymore beneath the great PC mommy blanket that smothers all spontaneity, all joy, all life in educational Mendocino County.

FROM a Mendocino Beacon of January 1938: “The Fashauer brothers of Greenwood Ridge were at Elk, Monday. They were returning from the Ray ranch on Navarro Ridge where they killed a large sheepkilling bear. The old dog and her two pups ran the bear for over ten miles but were unable to tree him. The bear was so done out that Anthony Fashauer shot him while he was on the ground. He weighed about four hundred pounds, and was found to be full of sheep meat.”

SMALL SCHOOL HOOPS is coming down to a three-way duel between Mendocino, Point Arena and Laytonville.

THAT’S A NICE community gift Wendy Blankenheim and Doug Read have given us in the big, illuminated, nighttime heart glowing red out of the winter night on the hillside just north of Breggo Winery.

AND ANOTHER crucial community donor is Ms. Arlene T’s early morning trash pick-ups along the Boonville roadsides. She’s out there darn near every day picking up after us, and we sure as heck appreciate her efforts.

APOLOGIES to Miss Grecia Herrera whose surname we inadvertently dropped from last week’s basketball account.

YORKVILLE MAN, 79, missing, but no sooner did we get the bulletin last Thursday than he wasn’t missing, and doesn’t a person have to be absent more than a couple of hours before the alarm bell is rung?

THE TALENTED singer Nahara knocked ‘em dead at Lauren’s last Saturday night while down at the Philo Grange the Anderson Valley Film Festival, organized by Steve Sparks, garnered some $2,000 for the Senior Center and other Valley non-profits. Steve summed it up as “An excellent festival. Raised about $2,000, the same as always but in a day less and without the $50 we usually ask from 20 or so local businesses. Good films, good discussions, fine food and bar provisions, many plaudits for our efforts.”

DA EYSTER’S APPEARANCE at the Unity Club on Thursday (tomorrow) is sold out for lunch, but interested persons should know they are welcome to hear the DA anyway after the sold out noon meal. If you arrive at 1pm you can hear what the DA, who will be accompanied by Sheriff Allman, has to say over coffee and cookies. The event is at Rivers Bend Retreat Center, Philo. With Eyster and Allman you get a twofer, Mendocino County’s two top law enforcement officers.

THE ANDERSON VALLEY Fire Department is coordinating a Free Chipping Project in the Anderson Valley Area for the Mendocino County Fire Safe Council. As in years past, persons interesting in having free chipping done on their residential property can contact Colin Wilson at 895-2020. The project is designed to provide free chipping service to people who are creating defensible clearance around their homes and along their driveways in the greater Anderson Valley. Call for details.

THE FEBRUARY meeting of the Anderson Valley School Board will be held on Monday, February 13th in the admin trailers at the elementary school, tedium kicks off at 7.

FORTY YEARS AGO if you’d seen “End Corporate Rule” on the Fairgrounds billboard you’d have rubbed your eyes and looked again, and it would have said, “Kill the Hippies.” But darned if End Corporate Rule isn’t up there right now for David Cobb’s appearance tonight. (Tuesday)

A BOX VAN driven by Kenneth Fuller, 61, of Petaluma, unaccountably left Highway 128 at Haehl Grade near Yorkville last Thursday morning and rolled on down into a gully. The accident was witnessed by a passing Elk firefighter who quickly determined that Fuller, a scrap metal recycler, had not been injured. But the van contained propane cylinders requiring that hazardous materials protocols be adhered to and, after several hours, it was determined that no toxics had escaped the van.

VIOLET CARPELLO RENICK isn’t the only local enjoying the remininscences of the late Maurice Tindall. Violet, among the few native people remaining in Mendocino County who grew up in a Pomo-speaking home on Anderson Creek across the road from Evergreen Cemetery, remembers as a child shopping at the old Tindall Market in Boonville where her grandfather, Frank Luff, spoke a dialect of Pomo with Tindall. “Maurice Tindall was the only white man my grandfather knew who could speak our language,” Violet recalls. I will always enjoy Violet’s remark to an uppity old timer who was bragging about her seniority in The Valley. “Well,” Violet said in a quiet voice of ultimate triumph, “my family has been here for 10,000 years.”

WHILE we’re working the ethnic beat here, this from the January 29, 1887 edition of the Mendocino Beacon: “China New Years was celebrated by the Celestials of this place in a very enthusiastic manner. From Saturday morning until Monday night there was almost a constant fusillade of fire-crackers and bombs.” It was these Celestials who hand dug the Navarro Cistern which provides the perfectly sweet and pure water enjoyed by several Deepend households to this day. Chinese also hand dug the Skunk line tunnel outside Fort Bragg and the Eel Diversion Tunnel at Potter Valley.

A PROPELLER BEANIE event occurred at the Grace Hudson Museum last night (Tuesday) called “UFOs: Their Spiritual Mission and Role in Coming World Changes.” Co-sponsored by the Mendocino Environment Center and Sharing for Peace Network, the presentation advertised a Valley telephone number for information. The world is certainly gone to heck in a frayed handbasket, but it’s unlikely that ET and his friends would want to take over management.

BLACK JANUARY. Steve Sparks writes: “Gentlemen…. Amongst all the turmoil and scandal of the stories featuring J. Schmitt and All That Good Stuff, the High School Fight Club and its accompanying student suspensions, and the PTA’s financial irregularities, perhaps the most disturbing piece of news I have heard this past few days is that The Boonville Saloon, formerly The Boonville Lodge is closing and the liquor license is being sold to an establishment in Point Arena. If this is true we may never get one back here in the Valley. Say it ain’t so!”

MY FRIEND SEAN at Pic ‘N Pay laments the deteriorating local business climate. He says his business was alarmingly down in 2011 and 2012 is off to a bad economic start. Sean’s distress is widely shared in the Anderson Valley, and there’s not so much as a glimmer of hope at the state and national leadership levels.

THE VALLEY’S very own Kathy Cox, a truly excellent teacher, is offering Spanish language classes for adults at the high school beginning the week of February 19th. Fifteen sessions at the bargain rate of $150, days and starting times to be determined at the first meeting on Wednesday, February 15th, 5pm, in the Career Center Classroom.

THE NEWLY formed Anderson Valley Tennis League team scored 3 wins no losses in their first match-up with Cloverdale. Tina Walters paired with co-captain Arnaud Weyrich in a see-saw match with the first set ending in 7-6 after a tie-breaker and an equally hard fought 6-4 second set. J.R. and Jeanne Collins won their first set 6-2 but then had to dig deep to pull out a 7-5 win for the second set. The combo of Peter Gordon and Rich Ferguson proved too much for the Cloverdale team with a 6-4, 6-3 triumph. Well done team AV. The next match will be on the home courts at the high school at 10 am on Saturday, February Come out and cheer on the home team.

GREG KROUSE alerts those of us desirous of high speed internet that we get put on an AT&T wish list to be sent to corporate offices where a decision on service to remote customers like us will be made in March. The e-mail address for your wish list submission is SR1242@ATT.com Type in the subject heading “dsl wish list.” Write in the body your home telephone number and/or business number. If you’re not an AT&T customer, write in a contact number and your physical address. “If enough people do this,” Greg says, “there’s a good possibility we can get them to tap the lines and give us access. We live real close to access points, and dsl is faster, more secure, probably more accurate, and probably cheaper.”

IT WAS SO cold at The Major’s house Monday morning he said the water in his toilet bowl froze over. “I had to chip it clear with an ice pick so I could continue my morning ablutions, some of which, so to speak, had bounced.” It was 23 degrees at my place, and Mike Kalantarian at Navarro said it got down to 26 at the Deepend.

AND FROZEN PIPES everywhere in The Valley and, according to my old friend Sam Halstad, a plumber, everywhere in the county. Sam’s own water was out, and he’s on a municipal water system. I’m among the many waiting for mine to defrost and the water to begin flowing again, hoping the pipes don’t crack, which is always a fairly major hassle.

SOME 250 satisfied diners enjoyed the Senior Center’s crab feed Saturday night with the Catholic’s annual crustacean feast coming right up.

A VOLUNTEER Santa at Sea Ranch was startled by the little girl who jumped up on his lap to ask Santa to bring her “a hog-stickin-knife” for Christmas. Santa replied, “Little girl, you must be from Annapolis.”

BRUCE McEWEN is agog at Jacqueline Carmody’s vivid acrylics on display at Lauren’s Restaurant and, when “three lovely ladies beckoned me to come inside and listen to us sing,” I marched right on in and was glad I did. They sang beautifully, especially when they did ‘Nightingales Singing In the Branches of My Heart.’ The human nightingales that night at Lauren’s were The Motherland Family Band, and there was free champagne courtesy of Scharffenberger’s Winery. A great event.”

DEPUTY AND MRS. WALKER have returned to The Valley from a two week vacation in the Far East where they enjoyed stays in Hong Kong and Mrs. Walker’s native Philippines. Mrs. Walker, by the way, is a long distance runner, a runner of very long distances including a hundred miler she recently completed in less than 24 hours. When she says she’s going to run to Ukiah she just might mean it.

THE MISS MENDOCINO County 2012 pageant — “an official preliminary to Miss California and Miss America” — will be held on Saturday, February 4 at the Ukiah High School Cafetorium at 7pm. Tickets are $15 at the door. All proceeds go to scholarships for winning contestants. Ordinarily, we don’t pay much attention to this Ukiah-centric event, but this year the six contestants include an Anderson Valley entrant: the vivacious and multi-talented AV High Senior Olivia Allen. She can sing, she can dance, she pulls straight A’s! The multi-talented Miss Allen’s performances at the Anderson Valley Variety Show and the Ukiah Players Theater hold the promise that she just might walk away with the Miss Mendo tiara. Miss Allen tells us that she will deliver her rendition of “Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again” from Phantom of the Opera. Knock ‘em out, kidoo!

SMALL SCHOOL basketball season has begun. It looks like a three-way race between Mendocino, Point Arena and Laytonville. The smart money is on Laytonville.

JUST NORTH of Cloverdale, a large new billboard announces, “Entering Mendocino County. Wilderness, Waves, Wine.” You can probably think up more than a few variations on the theme.

CROOKED TELEMARKETERS (are there any other kind?) have been calling Mendocino County residents claiming to be employees of the Mendocino County Sheriff’s Office. If you are contacted by telemarketers who say they are associated with the Mendocino County Sheriff’s Office in any type of fundraising effort, they are not. “Please call immediately to report it to our office at (707) 463-4086.”

LITTLE LEAGUE BASEBALL signups are being held this week and next at the Elementary School cafeteria. All kids ages 5-12 are encouraged to play. Please appear on Tuesday the 17th, Thursday the 19th or Tuesday the 24th between 5-630pm to sign up. You’ll need your child’s birth certificate and 3 proofs of residence. Cost is $120 and there are scholarships available. Call Shauna @ 684-9126 for info.

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THE HAZARD of year-end remembrances is leaving someone out, and we somehow forgot to include Jim Clow on our roster of Valley people who left us this year.

DAVID EPPSTEIN, a Frisco computer specialist with senior Wikipedia chops and Mendo connections, has done a nice update of the Hendy Woods Wikipedia entry, with new information about the Occupy Hendy Woods activity and the status of closure resistance. Look it up on Wikipedia under Hendy_Woods_State_Park. We expect that Mr. Eppstein will continue the updates.

THE SIXTH ANNUAL Crab Feed Fundraiser for the Senior Center will be Saturday, January 14th. Happy Hour at 5:30, dinner at 6:30. $25 per ticket. Call 895-3609 for tickets! (PS. Mileage reimbursements are available to drivers taking seniors to necessary medical appointments. Volunteer drivers are needed. Call the Senior Center 895-3609 for details.)

LAST THURSDAY NIGHT, about six miles up the Ukiah road, the rural peace was rent by a sudden, the repeated explosions of gun fire. Soon, someone from the Toll House was at the gate of the shooters shouting for a cease fire. The shooters, the same people who plunked down that eyesore shipping container beside the road a couple of years ago, shouted back insults and continued shooting. Deputy Squires being out on disability, and deputy Walker on vacation, there was no one available to mediate. Fortunately, the shooting subsided, the irate Toll House guy retreated and there was again quiet in Bell Valley.

REBECCA JOHNSON, the talented Navarro sculptress, has made a short film called “Change Over Horse Haven Ranch,” which will be shown at the Anderson Valley Film Festival the weekend of January 27th at the Philo Grange.

HORSE HAVEN, as us locals know, has transmogrified into Rhys Vineyards, vineyards that would not be there if Mendocino County had a grading ordinance. (A grading ordinance for Mendo was discussed for twenty years, but…) Even the wizards of Silicon Valley aren’t allowed to plant grapes on precipitous Sonoma and Napa hillsides, but in Mendocino County the One Percenters have it all their own way.

BOB SITES is fit again and back at his Yorkville home after holiday gall bladder surgery at the Vet’s Hospital in San Francisco.

BAD ROLLOVER crash Monday evening about 7:30 just south of Philo. The driver, still not identified, was medi-vacced to Santa Rosa with serious head injuries.

THE MAJOR took a midnight stroll around Boonville to watch  Boonville celebrate the arrival of 2012. “Departing AVA headquarters high atop the Farrer Building, a precautionary pistol in my pocket, I walked into the chilly night air of Boonville’s sedate streets. It was just before midnight. All was quiet at the brewpub next door. Four pickups were in front of the Boonville Saloon. A thin dark-haired drunk, female type, stumbled out of PicNPay, east down the alley and on into the laundromat. I thought back to a time when I did my laundry at midnight in a New Year’s laundromat. I’d almost called the Suicide Hot Line that time. The pleasant sound of a bass guitar trickled out of the Saloon. Country guitar emanated from Lauren’s Restaurant down the street where the ever popular Dean Titus and the Coyote Cowboys were entertaining. A drunk leaning against the Valley Bible Fellowship Church asked me if I was looking for trouble. ‘Are you looking to get knocked out?’ I snarled back. ‘This isn’t like you, Major,” he said. ‘What’s up with you?’ Another drunk asked me to keep his booking photo out of the Sheriff’s Log. ‘Cost you fifty bucks, punk,’ I said, walking on. 15 to 20 revelers appeared in front of the Boonville Saloon. Firecrackers exploded. ‘Anybody here need a serious punch in the mouth?’ I asked. Someone said, ‘Dude, cool all the way out.’ A man produced what looked like a flare gun and an umbrella of multicolored sparks instantly lit up the sky. Within the minute three of these brightly hued umbrellas had appeared  above Highway 128. Between the firecrackers, a burst of gun fire seemed to be coming from the house next door to the Saloon. More fireworks went off and several more gunshots were heard, some of them in bursts of 10 or 12 rounds. Firecrackers again, but not quite as loud. I kept my trigger finger on my piece. You never know who might go off in Boonville.  You can’t have too many guns in this place. Nothing seemed immediately threatening, however. All good clean celebratory noise. A solitary reveler in a cardboard top hat blew into a paper noisemaker. I stifled a sob. A quintet of drunks screamed incoherences into the sky. “Go, Giants!” I shouted, finally into the evening’s spirit. I could hear muffled gunshots deep in the hills. Smoke drifted up into the night air from the last of the street level fireworks. By 12:30 it was quiet again. 2012 was already half-hour old.”

BOONVILLE’S CHRISTMAS displays seem grander by the year, and this frigid Christmas season, with most of us dancing at the danger end of the most tenuous economic tenterhooks, the random optimism we feel at the hopeful sight of electric diamonds against the cold dark have never been more welcome.

ANOTHER NICE thing about Christmas in Boonville, Ricardo Suarez’s carolers strolling through town last week singing the old standards. Mr. Suarez owns the Redwood Drive-In, having purchased that pivotal local institution from Cheryl Schrader now of Boonville and Grass Valley.

CORRECTION: The Saturn stolen off Anderson Valley Way a couple of weeks ago did not belong to Stephanie Adams. It belongs to Jed Adams’ mother-in-law, and jokes about stolen cars without the mother-in-laws in them are not appropriate here.

FOUR NEW YEAR VENUES likely to be jammed with revelers Saturday night include the always convivial Boonville Saloon; Burt Cohen’s place on Lambert Lane where the popular proprietor of Boont Berry Farm serves whole seas of sushi to his many friends; Lauren’s Restaurant offers dinner and dancing with Dean Titus and the Coyote Cowboys; and Tom Towey hosts a combination Casino Night and dinner at the Boonville Brewpub.

KZYX RADIO, perennial winners of the Nikita Award for impenetrable communiqués, recently posted this update about the station’s Fort Bragg signal difficulties. “The factory does not at this time have a loaner unit available for our use and if we sent our unit back to them in Colorado they would not be able to work on it until late January, so we took the 88.1 ‘translator’ unit to a technician in Napa and worked on it while the lead technician for the manufacturer guided us over the phone through the repairs. We made three repairs that are the main problems that usually cause this type of failure. When we put it back together it was working fine so we took it back up to Bald Hill and hooked it back up. We believe this was the best option under the circumstances. It has now been working steadily since December 6. When a loaner becomes available, we may send it off then, especially if it gives more trouble.” Translation: OK for now but we’re still working on it.

RUMORS seem to circulate faster the colder it gets, but the prevalent ones last week said a local couple had been held up at gun point and relieved of the pot they’d uneventfully sold for years to the stick-up man; two home invasion robberies had occurred in The Valley but went unreported; and lots of people were describing by name the alleged snitch who was assumed to have orchestrated the recent bust of a popular Yorkville man.

THAT SHY, pretty young woman you meet behind the cash register at Anderson Valley Market may not be there much longer. Her name is Stephanie Frost and she can sing, really sing, sing so well that her album called “A Quiet Fire” is getting five star reviews on I-Tunes and other on-line music sites. You won’t be surprised to learn that Miss Frost is the daughter of the attractive and gracious Marcia Martinez, co-owner of the Boonville Saloon.

THE BOARD of Supervisors recently put their “Community partners on notice” that as of July 1st of 2012 there’s no more County money for the flow gages on the Navarro or Noyo rivers. These “community partners” — local grape growers and the Mendocino Redwood Company in the case of the Navarro — will have to pick up the $14,000 annual tab if the gages are to continue operating.

MANY OF US saw the young black woman hitchhiking west on Mountain View Road two weeks ago, and most of us couldn’t help but notice that the young woman was nursing an infant as she stood surrounded by trash bags of her belongings and, incongruously, a car seat, as forlorn a tableau as we’ve seen lately. She was vague as to her ultimate destination and, it seemed to some of us, so generally vague about everything else that we had to wonder if she was fully capable of caring for herself, let alone herself and a nursing child. But over the hill she went and the next we heard the young mother had appeared in Point Arena where a kindly MTA driver had deposited her with directions to seek shelter at the Sea Shell Inn. The Inn’s owner, Ken LaBoube, instantly embraced the wanderer with no thought of the timely Biblical implications of his generosity, which was soon supplemented by the Reverend Alyce Soden of the South Coast Crisis Line. The young mother, not much over the age of twenty, if that, mentioned Placerville as if she may have come from there. To another she said her surname was Butler. Rev Soden, who’s been helping the distressed for many years, was unnerved by the sudden appearance of the mysterious mother and child. “I think she was running away from something awful,” the Reverend speculated, an audible shudder in her voice. Two days later, mother and child were on the road again, this time to Ukiah where the two-person family was last seen last week.

ALICE BONNER writes: “Despite the new federal funding status of the AV Health Center, ongoing financial support is crucial for this community resource. A committee to plan future fundraising events and activities will hold its first meeting Monday, January 9th at 6pm at the Family Resource Center. All are invited to attend. The FRC is the brown portable building located behind the AV School District Office just south of the Elementary School on Anderson Valley Way. A light dinner will be served. Please let us know if you plan to attend by emailing or phoning Alice Bonner at arbonners@directv.net / 895-2545.”

IF YOU’VE DRIVEN north on 101 lately you’ve seen that big billboard advertisement near Calpella for the casino just up the road. “Come to Shodakai Casino!” it says. “Try our new pot-themed slot machines!” The invitation is illustrated by a cartoon dude in dark glasses, a joint hanging from his mouth against a backdrop of a triple pot leaf jackpot. And near Ukiah on 101 and deep South State Street, billboards advertise turkey bags, prompting visitors to comment, “These people sure must eat a lotta turkey.” Nope. The bags are used to transport marijuana because they are dope-dog sniff-proof. No odor escapes the interior of the bag. And the pot brigades scratch their heads and wonder why the feds have made NorCal their top drug priority.