This coming Sunday, as I hope you all know, it’s Mother’s Day, a celebration honoring mothers and celebrating motherhood, maternal bonds, and the influence of mothers in society. Originally, in the 1870s, it was a call for women to join in support of disarmament and it did not really become a celebration of motherhood until it was made an official national holiday (2nd Sunday of May) when President Woodrow Wilson made it such in 1914. The holiday eventually became so highly commercialized that many, including its founder, Anna Jarvis, considered it a “Hallmark holiday,” i.e., one with an overwhelming commercial purpose. But, for all that, it does give us an opportunity to sit back and think about how appreciative we should be of our mothers. After all, where would we be without them?

For your Quotes of the Week, here are some words of wisdom on the subject. Let’s begin with a Jewish proverb that goes, “God could not be everywhere, therefore he made mothers.” And another proverb, from Spain, “An ounce of mother is worth a ton of priest.” From Harriet Beecher Stowe (1811-1896), the American abolitionist and author of ‘Uncle Tom’s Cabin’ comes the observation, “Most mothers are instinctive philosophers.” And from Honore de Balzac (1799-1850), the French novelist and playwright we have “The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness.” It was Florida Scott-Maxwell (1883-1979), a playwright, author and psychologist who said, “No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement.” I imagine quite a few of the Valley’s Moms were in her thoughts at the time she said that! And finally, from the British actress and director, Janet Suzman (1936-), comes a comment that might be appropriate around here, “Motherhood is the most emotional experience of one’s life. One joins a kind of women’s mafia.” And there’s nothing wrong with that!

Public Service Announcements. Calendars and pens at the ready. #73. As mentioned last week, this summer sees a new time for the weekly gathering of the Boonville Farmer’s Market in the parking lot of The Boonville Hotel: it’s from 10am to 12.30pm. #74. The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital will return to the Valley on three occasions this month — tomorrow, Thursday, May 10th and again on the 24th and 31st. They will be at the AV Farm Supply from 2-3:30pm on each occasion but have asked me to inform you that you do not have to arrive early and then wait a long time. Everyone showing up at anytime before 3.30pm will be seen. #75. There will be a fundraiser for AV Youth Football in the form of a Fish and Chips Dinner at the Senior Center on Friday, May 11th from 6 to 9pm. You get one free beer too! #76. The 16th Annual Beer Festival is this Saturday, May 12th from 1pm to 5pm. Enjoy a drink or ten, and then let someone else drive you home! #77. The next meeting of the AV School Board is at 7pm on Monday, May 14th at the Career/Family Resource Center at the High School. If you want to see if the board members are doing what they claimed they would do at election time, then come along. All are welcome. #78. And finally this week, you should be aware that the next Barn Sale is not on the last weekend of the month as is usually the case. That will be Memorial Day Weekend so the good deals and fun of the Barn Sale on AV Way are on Sat/Sun, May 19/20 instead. Oh, and in case you need further temptation, on the Saturday, Gloria Ross will be serving her “world famous” pulled pork sandwiches and potato salad; then on Sunday it’s bbq burgers and hot dogs!

Moving quickly on to a few of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge. Yes, it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley where people gather and share their thoughts about Valley life.

…In my humble opinion, and those of a few other regulars too, those wonderful eggs provided by the hard-working chickens at the High School Ag Dept are as tasty as any in the Valley. Apart from the shape, there is little comparison with those you get from the supermarkets! Call teacher Beth Swehla at the school to make sure she is there and has some available. 895-3496. You will be glad you did.

…Following last week’s meeting at the high school, attended by Principal Jim Tomlin, Athletic Director Robert Pinoli, High School Soccer Coach Steve Sparks, School Board member Ben Anderson, school groundsman, Mike Foucault, and representatives of the three adult soccer teams who call the Valley home — Roque Guerrero, Vidal Ferreyra, and Ysidro Pandilla, it was agreed to allow the teams to play their home games on Sunday’s at Tom Smith Field in return for a team fee ($400 each) and assurances that the field would be maintained and school rules regarding alcohol adhered to. The meeting ended with handshakes all round and hopefully it was the ‘beginning of a beautiful friendship.’

…I was pleased to be invited to the AV Theatre Guild’s after-show party that followed the final night of their splendid production of ‘Cocktails for Mimi’ presented at The Grange over the last two weekends. The champagne flowed, the euphoria of success was palpable, and the cast’s potluck was plentiful and delicious. Many cast members praised the job done by Director Marcus Magadeleno and expressed their desire to work with him again next year. I agreed with everyone and everything that was said. It was that kind of night.

…From our 3-Dot regular, The Old Buzzard, comes another in his insightful series, ‘The Approach of the Apocalypse.’ Buzzard reports, “In Afghanistan in recent times, apart from the obvious stuff that makes it into the main headlines, eight people have been killed by two bombs at a dog fight in the volatile southern Afghan province of Kandahar. Dog-fighting competitions remain a popular pastime in Afghanistan for some ungodly reason. A year or so ago, at least 65 people were killed by a suicide bomb at a dog-fight, also in Kandahar. Meanwhile, a few weeks ago, a suicide bomber blew himself up at a buzkashi match in northern Afghanistan, killing at least three people. Buzkashi is a precursor of the modern game of polo, although with a difference — it is played with the body of a headless goat that is filled with sand. Nothing wrong with that of course, although the continuing suicide bombing is obviously deeply wrong. For centuries it has been clear that this is a country that wants and needs to be left alone, to practice its own customs, to enjoy its own culture — even if this means that unmarried men and women should never be alone in the same room (if that happens they must ensure a door is left open), and men and women should never touch one another under any circumstances in public. Fine. Good. Enjoy. So to lose one more life in a vain attempt to change things there is not only a clear sign of the approach of the Apocalypse, but for the loved ones of the deceased, it is the Apocalypse.”

I’m outtahere. Until we talk again, Keep the Faith; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you. One final request, “Let us prey”… Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture. PS. You can contact me with words of support/abuse through the Letters Page or at turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net. PPS. Hi, Silver Swan — behaving yourself? Hopefully not! PPPS. Hope you’re doing well, Jamal.

Public Service Announcements. Calendars and pens at the ready. #113. As mentioned above, the annual A.V. Theatre Guild production is presenting its second and final weekend of performances this week. ‘Cocktails with Mimi’ is ‘a comedy for all ages’ and will be presented on Friday and Saturday May 4th/5th at The Grange with a curtain at 7pm both nights. Alicia’s tacos will be available before the show and during the intermission but you’ll have to bring your own cookies! #114. The Boonville Farmer’s Market Opening Day, featuring the Spring Plant Sale, is on Saturday, May 5th from 10am to 12:30pm in the parking lot at The Boonville Hotel. #115. The Annual Boontling Classic 5K Footrace is on Sunday May 6th at 10am. Sign up on the day between 8:30am and 9:30am. For further details call Flick at 895-2701 or Bruce at 895-895-3589. #116. The revitalization of AV Youth Soccer continues this week with sign-ups at the Elementary School on Sunday 6th from noon to 2pm. #117. The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital return to the Valley on three occasions in May. These will be from 2-3.30pm on Thursdays, May 10, 24, and 31. If you call the vets 48 hours in advance (462-8833) you ensure that your pet’s charts are brought ‘over the hill’ and also order any medications. New customers and their pets always welcome. #118. The 16th Annual Anderson Valley Beer Festival is just over a week away: May 12th from 1-5pm at The Fairgrounds in Boonville.

Moving quickly on to a few of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge: “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley.

…I had a delicious sirloin sandwich at Lauren’s Restaurant this past week and I thought you should know. Served with her ‘Valley’s Best’ fries, it was, as you can no doubt imagine, positively orgasmic.

…While the regulars praised the Theatre Guild play at The Grange last week, it was nevertheless suggested by several of them that an event such as this should have some snacks (cookies, brownies, etc) available before the show and during intermission. While I find them delicious (and had two plus a tamale), as did several others, it was pointed out that not everyone wants the tacos served up by Alicia. I’m just passing on the thoughts and comments of the people, it’s my job.

…Although numbers were perhaps down on previous years, the Unity Club’s Wildflower event, run by their Garden Section, was still regarded as a success this past weekend. The regulars I spoke with certainly enjoyed themselves. I did too. Talking to members of this splendid organization of women is always fun and informative and, while my own membership remains in infinite limbo, they remain one of my favorite Valley groups, despite the fact that they didn’t save me any of the chicken salad sandwiches which was one of the main reasons I attended!

…From our 3-Dot regular, The Old Buzzard, comes another in his insightful series, ‘The Approach of the Apocalypse.’ Buzzard reports, “The AV Farm Supply has accepted an offer-to-buy and is now in escrow to be sold! According to long-time owner (38 years, no less!) Dave Gowan, it remains unclear if the new owners will offer the same kind of farm supply business that many Valley folks have relied upon for such a long time. No hay and feed, no pet supplies, no gardening equipment, no knowledgeable advice on all things connected with farming, and no vet visits for your pets! All of which, if not continued, is bad news for the Valley, I must say. Dave and wife Nancy cannot be blamed for moving on of course — their efforts in serving the Valley over so many years are to be commended, but the loss of this institution, along with several other fairly recent changes to the Valley’s social, economic, and commercial fabric, not to mention the nation’s general malaise, all point to the likelihood that the Apocalypse continues to approach. Meanwhile, until it arrives, enjoy your loved ones and support your local businesses!

Finally, and perhaps inevitably, your Quotes of the Week will refer to farmers and farming. Let’s start with this observation from President Kennedy who said, “The farmer is the only man in our economy who buys everything at retail, sells everything at wholesale, and pays the freight both ways.” Then we have this from Bharati Mukherjee (1940-?) the award-winning Indian-born American writer, currently a professor in the department of English at the University of California, Berkeley: “A farmer is dependent on too many things outside his control; it makes for modesty.” And from S.J. Perelman (1904-1979), the American humorist, author, and screenwriter (who must have visited the Valley at some point), we have these wise words, “A farm is an irregular patch of nettles containing a fool and his wife who didn’t know enough to stay in the city.” And finally, from Daniel Webster (1782-1852) the American statesman, senator from Massachusetts, and Secretary of State under three Presidents, who observed, “When tillage begins, other arts follow. The farmers therefore are the founders of human civilization.” Let’s just hope they are able to find somewhere local to get their supplies!

Time to take my leave. So, until we talk again, Keep the Faith; be careful out there; stay out of ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you. One final request, “Let us prey.” Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture. PS. Contact me with words of support/abuse through the Letters Page or at turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net> PPS. On the sheep, Grace.

For your Quotes of the Week I must inevitably turn to some that have trees as their subject matter. Let’s start with this from Rabindranath Tagore (1861-1941) the Indian Bengali prophet and literary figure who said, “Trees are the Earth’s endless effort to speak to the listening heaven.” And how about these words from American poet Lucy Larcom (1824-1893): “He who plants a tree plants hope.” Of course there are always those less enlightened figures who have to say something stupid and narrow-minded, and one of those is most certainly former US President Ronald Reagan, whose resurgent popularity in recent times can only be regarded as a mystery and indicative of how short society’s collective memory can be. Anyway, this is what “The Great Communicator”(??) famously and unforgivingly once said, “If you’ve seen one redwood tree, you’ve seen them all.” What a clown!

We must end the quotes on a positive note, so here are three such comments on the almighty tree. First some wise words from William Cullen Bryant (1794-1878), the American romantic poet, journalist, and long-time editor of the New York Evening Post, who observed, “Groves of trees were God’s first temples.” Next is this from Seneca the Elder (28BC-39AD), the Roman rhetorician and writer, who said, “When you enter a grove peopled with ancient trees, higher than the ordinary, and shutting out the sky with their thickly inter-twined branches, do not the stately shadows of the wood and the stillness of the place strike you with the presence of a deity?” And finally, from Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931), the Lebanese-American artist, poet, philosopher, come these words, which I believe perfectly sum up the need to keep Hendy Woods open for one and all, “Trees are poems that the earth writes upon the sky.”

Public Service Announcements. Calendars and pens at the ready. #114. The annual AV Theatre Guild production, under the directorship of Marcus Magdalena, begins its two weekend run this coming Friday and Saturday. This year’s play is “Cocktails with Mimi,” “a comedy for all ages,” featuring a dozen talented local thespians. It will run for two consecutive weekends, Friday and Saturday, April 27/28 and May 4/5 at The Grange with a curtain at 7pm every night. Oh, and there’s Alicia’s delicious tacos available before the show and during the intermission at every performance! #115. The Barn Sale returns on the final weekend of the month for the first time in 2012. This will take place at The Big Barn at The St. Elizabeth Seton Catholic Church Refectory on AV Way, just north of Boonville, from 9am to 3pm on both Saturday and Sunday, April 28 and 29. And the always enjoyable Barbecue will be open on the Sunday! #116. The AV Unity Club presents its Annual Wildflower Show at The Fairgrounds in Boonville this coming Saturday and Sunday, April 28 and 29 from 10am to 4pm each day. It is fun and free! Call Robyn at 895-2609 for further details.

Moving quickly on to a few of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge — “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley.

…A number of our local regulars were very pleased to hear that Steve Sparks will shortly be resuming his “Lives and Times of Valley Folks” series of interviews, the first of which will appear in this newspaper in May. After doing 146 of these in 155 weeks, Steve took a few months off and now feels reinvigorated enough to get going once again. He tells me he has many names on his list of potential interviewees and it is just a matter of getting people to agree to do them. He also asks for any suggestions and wants to assure all subjects that they always have the final word on what appears in print.

…Many regulars and I were full of praise for the special lunch put on by Lauren and her staff at the restaurant in Boonville last Thursday from 1pm to 3pm. The guests were primarily Valley innkeepers/lodging owners and winery owners/managers, who were all treated to a delicious and eclectic feast featuring the many dishes on Lauren’s menu. With wine also provided and a fun atmosphere of meeting and greeting, I imagine the already symbiotic relationship between Lauren’s Restaurant and the Valley’s various hosts would have been strengthened even more.

…As you may already know, this month’s Guest Chef Dinner at the Senior Center on Friday 27th has sold out. The next one is on June 1st with Maple Creek Winery’s Tom Rodrigues as the Guest Chef. I shall keep you informed about the menu and ticket details but this too will sell out, I’m sure.

…Talking of the Dinner this Friday, I shall not be in attendance as I plan to be at the opening night of the Theater Guild’s play. A tough decision, but Hummingbird is involved in the play and so that’s where I’ll be. Even though the dining event was sold out, the Signal Ridge Quail and her flock had arranged to provide me with a dinner but now this means that the lovely gesture has to be declined. Nevertheless, it was much appreciated anyway.

…A couple of disgruntled high school students swung by the 3-Dot for after school snacks and a few beers, sorry ice teas, and were bemoaning the fact that the “lunchtime lockdown” was still in effect at the school. You may recall that following a “fight club” lunchtime episode a few months ago, the whole student body is not permitted to leave the school during the lunch break. The rumor is that this will be continued into the next school year too and this is creating even more dissatisfaction on campus. It does seem a little excessive wouldn’t you say?

I’m outtahere. So, until we talk again, ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you. One final request, “Let us prey.” Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture. PS. Contact me with words of support/abuse through the Letters Page or at turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net. PPS. Hi, Silver Swan. Behaving yourself? Hopefully not! PPPS. Get well soon, Jamal.

And with this topic in mind, I have managed to come up with some Quotes of the Week on the unusual topic of dentists. First we have these words from advice columnist Ann Landers who said, “Blessed are they who hold lively conversations with the helplessly mute, for they shall be called dentists.” Then there is this classic from an unknown source: “You know, sometimes a man just can’t satisfy all of a woman’s desires. Which is why God invented dental floss.” And finally we have this comment from Joseph Heller (1923-1999), the American satirical novelist, short story writer, and playwright whose best-known work is Catch-22: “We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist.”

Onward. Public Service Announcements. Calendars and pens at the ready. #130. The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital will return to the Valley tomorrow, Thursday, April 19th when they will be at The AV Farm Supply from 2-3.30pm on each occasion. They have asked me to inform you that you do not have to arrive early and then wait a long time. Everyone showing up at anytime before 3.30pm will be seen. And while you’re there, why not make a purchase or two at the Farm Supply, whose continued support for this service is the main reason we have it on our doorstep? #131. In my absence the monthly Grange Groove has returned to, where else?, The Grange on Highway 128. It’s the 3rd Friday of the month, April 20th, and is a ‘free-dance for all’ from 8pm on, featuring dancing and gyrating to the sounds of DJ Jeanine. This is a family fun evening that is drug and alcohol free — but I’m sure it’s still lots of fun! (I’m kidding!) #132. The next fundraiser in support of the Save Hendy Woods movement will be held this coming Sunday, April 22nd, at Navarro Vineyards on Highway 128. The event, featuring a bbq, Navarro wines, a silent auction, and live music, will go from noon to 3pm with tickets available via www.hendywoods.org. All proceeds will go toward keeping Hendy Woods open. For further questions contact Navarro Vineyards at 895-3686. #133. KZYX, our local public radio station, begin their week long Spring Pledge Drive on Sunday April 22nd. Call 895-2324 for further details or to make a pledge. #134. And finally this week, a note that the annual AV Theatre Guild production is just around the corner. Under the directorship of Marcus Magdalena, this year’s production is ‘Cocktails with Mimi,’ ‘a comedy for all ages’ that will feature a fine cast of local thespians. It will run on two consecutive weekends, Friday and Saturday, April 27th/28th and May 4th/5th at The Grange, with the curtain at 7pm on each of those evenings.

Topics and Valley events at The Three-Dot Lounge, Yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley.

…Are there three more friendly and efficient post office workers anywhere? I’m referring to Joe Dresch, Sheila Hibbs, and Ann Carr who continue to work their ‘magic’ at the Philo PO. When I put this question to a few of the 3-Dot regulars it was wholeheartedly agreed that they didn’t think there could be.

…Many regulars were disappointed to hear that the first in this year’s Guest Chef Dinner evenings at the Senior Center had already sold out — three weeks before the event! This special event will be on Friday, April 27th when the guest chef will be Marilyn Pronsolino who will present her famous homemade ravioli from the secret family recipe. Beer and wine is available but I’m afraid none of the 60 tickets remain. The next such evening is on Friday, June 1st when Maple Creek Winery’s Tom Rodrigues will again be the featured Guest Chef. Get your tickets early by calling 895-360. Once again, there will only be sixty sold.

…Bud-break has arrived in the vineyards so now, with frosty nights still occurring, we have to put up with the ridiculously loud ‘helicopter-like flyovers’ that some wineries’ warming fans sound like to anyone living anywhere within a mile or so of such businesses. He could have been pulling my claw, I suppose, but one regular told me that certain wineries are providing a complimentary bottle of wine and free ear-plugs to those who go in and complain that they simply cannot sleep through the noise. That’s quite a kind gesture, although I must say it would be rude of them not to.

…From our 3-Dot regular, The Old Buzzard, comes another in his insightful series — ‘The Approach of the Apocalypse.’ Buzzard reports, “Not for the first time and probably not for the last, the ignorance of some of our politically correct friends has surfaced as they eagerly try to tell the rest of us how to behave and speak. Once and for all let me inform the uninformed that, according to any dictionary you may wish to refer to, the word ‘niggardly’ is an adjective of Scandinavian origin that may be used to describe someone who is ‘not generous or mean.’ Got that? It is not the racial slur that certain self-righteous people immediately assume it to be in their clamor to accuse others of being ignorant. A little enlightenment and social awareness is one thing, but at this point in time I’m quite convinced that the levels of political correctness that this country has risen/ fallen to are as sure a sign as any that the Apocalypse cannot be far off.”

Oh, dear, I suppose I should get my coat and leave. Meanwhile, until we talk again: Please don’t be niggardly and buy me a beer or glass of wine next time you see me out on the town; ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you. Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey.” Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture. PS. Contact me with words of support/abuse through the Letters Page or at turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net. PPS. On the sheep, Grace. PPPS. Get well soon, Jamal.

And talking about “mysterious disappearances,” one of the more unsettling ones was that of Valley resident, Jamal Essayah (a personal friend of mine), who two weeks ago, for reasons that were unclear, cancelled his cellphone and Facebook accounts and simply disappeared, curtailing all contact with family and friends. Once this became apparent, many Valley folks were very concerned, knowing him to be a very well adjusted, competent, and gifted young man. Finally, over a week later, news of his disappearance was posted on Facebook and as a result many more people far and wide were adding their concern. Fortunately, their very worst fears were relieved last Friday when it was reported that he was alive, but had been in a road accident in Redding, California and was recovering in hospital. Although his behavior had been erratic at the time of this incident, and the reasons behind his actions remain unclear, his life was not in danger and the Valley could breathe a collective sigh of relief. “Get well soon, Jamal — your many friends in the Valley have you in their thoughts for a speedy and complete recovery.”

As I zoomed around the Valley this past week, catching up on Valley affairs and people, perhaps my most enjoyable experience was at The AV Lions Club Easter Breakfast and Egg Hunt held at The Apple Hall in the Fairgrounds in Boonville on Sunday morning to benefit the FFA and High School Ag class. There was an excellent turnout of Valley folks who no doubt enjoyed the splendid breakfast presented by the Lions’ Cooking Crew of Judy Long, Derek Wyatt and wife Nicole Johnson, Renée and Kevin Lee, Patty Liddy, Christy Reilly, Bob Sites, and Robin Harper, plus assistance from Fair Board member, Morgan Baynham. With Lions’ President, Christine Clark, overseeing the event, Terry Ryder and mother Muriel producing the Easter baskets for the raffle, Joanne Clark on the door, and the cheerful and hard-working volunteers from Beth Swehla’s FFA group and AVHS Ag Class, the event was a big success — and that’s without even mentioning the delicious food. This was so good that I was a little greedy and unable to partake in the ensuing egg hunt! Yes, it was what I would call a “classic” Valley occasion — all sorts of people, young and old, coming together for the common good — ya gotta like that!

Public Service Announcements. Calendars and pens at the ready. #255. The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital will return to the Valley on two more occasions this month — tomorrow, Thursday, April 12th and again next week on the 19th, from 2-3.30pm on each occasion. They have asked me to inform you that you do not have to arrive early and then wait a long time — everyone showing up at anytime before 3.30pm will be seen. #256. The Winter Market continues its weekly “show” at the Boonville General Store on Saturday from 10.30am to 1pm, featuring locally made foods and crafts. #257. The AV Grange has its monthly meeting next Tuesday, April 15th. This is the best time to become a new member as throughout April you will receive a year’s free membership! The evening also features a potluck competition with prizes. Call Don at 2214 for details.

Topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge — “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley.

…A hearty congratulations are offered by the 3-Dot regulars to Antonia Perez who last week received her US citizenship. It is no exaggeration to say that with all her hard work for the schools and at many Valley social functions, she has been regarded as a wonderful ‘citizen’ for many years.

…Regulars were pleased to have heard through the sports grapevine that Youth Soccer is to be resurrected here in the Valley. Thanks to the efforts of Elementary School Principal, Donna Pierson-Pugh, among others, there are plans to field three or four teams this fall, providing a much-needed outlet for the youngsters aged between 7 and 12 who have greatly missed playing ‘the beautiful game’ over the past year or so.

…One topic under discussion at the 3-Dot this past week was ‘Jobs we would hate to do’ and I surprised some regulars with my choice of air steward. Having spent time on many long haul flights I am convinced that this line of work is not at all the glamorous occupation that it’s frequently depicted as. You are dealing with a grumpy and frequently overly demanding public and basically you are a waiter/waitress in a very cramped restaurant serving quite poor food. So job seekers, trust me on this — you can thank me later.

Talking of traveling, for your Quotes of the Week here are three of my favorites on this subject. First up it’s these words from Richard Burton (1925-1984) the Welsh actor nominated seven times for an Academy Award (without ever winning) who said, “Travelers, like poets, are mostly an angry race.” And then there is this comment from Paul Theroux (1941-?) the American travel writer and novelist: “Travel is glamorous only in retrospect.” Finally, how about this from Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) the Irish writer and poet who typically remarked, “I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on one’s travels!”

Finally this week, I must just comment on a letter I received a few weeks ago regarding my critical remarks about those who attend charity events and bring their own food, in this particular case the AV Film Festival. The author of the note defended his/her actions and stated that I was part of a “group of people who look down on brown-baggers, seeing them as some sort of cheapskates.” Err, when people attend charity functions with their own food then yes I do, and why would I think otherwise? Please don’t tell me that a $2 taco or $1 cookie was too expensive for anyone. It is not. With films offered all-day long for just $7 in total, quality food and drink on sale for very reasonable prices, and every penny of profit going to local charities, calling them “cheapskates” is being very polite I’d say. In fact “Tight-fisted, miserly buggers” is more along the lines of what I really think. (I’d use the word ‘niggardly’ but that would be far too controversial for those unfamiliar with this word who are not inclined to look it up in a dictionary.)

Time to take my leave. So, until we talk again, Keep the Faith; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you. Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey.” Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture. PS. Contact me with words of support/abuse through the Letters Page or at turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net. PPS. Hi, Silver Swan — behaving yourself? Hopefully not!

Moving inevitably on. I would humbly suggest that around these parts I am among the more outspoken supporters, and there are many, of Deputy Sheriff Craig Walker and the wonderful work he has done since he arrived here in the Valley back in late 2008. Enforcing the law in a community where you live, and are on first name terms with so many of the residents, is not an easy thing to do and Walker has adapted to the challenge with remarkable skill on both a professional and personal level, reaching out and connecting with each of the communities in this rural melting pot. However, as the old Latin proverb goes, ‘Even Homer nods’ — meaning that even the great ones make mistakes. Yes, folks, I have to report that our venerable deputy has made a faux pas! This occurred a couple of weeks ago when at 12:15am on the morning of Sunday, February 5th, with not another car on the road, he pulled over one of the Valley’s finest citizens and the organizer of that same evening’s magnificent Crab Feed event at the Apple Hall in town — Gloria Ross, aka ‘the Bishop of Boonville,’ who was approaching her home on AV Way in Boonville. Craig, along with his lovely wife Marissa, had attended that very event a few hours earlier and was observed by yours truly devouring crab like there was no tomorrow; clearly having the time of his life, although he was sipping coffee not wine so it couldn’t have been that great. But I digress.

Anyway, while not quite the same ‘cardinal sin’ as pulling over his own boss, Sheriff Allman or the DA, David Eyster, turning on the red and blue lights behind the saintly Gloria because she had her vehicle’s ‘brights’ on in town, an offense that I suspect many are unaware of, was not a good move on the part of the good Deputy. He assumed he was following a drunk driver who had not realized their full headlights were on. But on discovering just who it was, a simple verbal warning was given and no ticket issued to a quite shocked Gloria who in turn, being the forgiving-kind, decided not report this to any ‘higher power.’ As a result there is little doubt that Craig’s position in heaven is still assured. However, there are limits, and I would not be at all surprised to find out that the price he has to pay to attend next year’s Crab Feed will be at least doubled! After all, as it says in the Bible, Exodus Chapter 21, Verse 23-25, “a life for life, an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a very expensive crab feed ticket for the threat of a driving ticket.” And here endeth today’s lesson on the concept of social and reciprocal justice.

And so not surprisingly, for your Quotes of the Week, we turn to some words of wisdom referring to law enforcement. First up it’s this rather skeptical, yet amusing, view from Brendan Behan (1923-1964), the Irish poet, short story writer, novelist, and playwright, who said, “I have never seen a situation so dismal that a policeman couldn’t make it worse.” Then there is this from French novelist Charles-Louis Philippe (1874-1909) who interestingly remarked, “One always has the air of someone who is lying when one speaks to a policeman.” This is not the case when talking to Deputy Walker, for most of us anyway! And finally, from Robert F. Kennedy, there were these words that perhaps sum up the excellent law enforcement that we have here in the Valley, “Every society gets the kind of criminal it deserves. What is equally true is that every community gets the kind of law enforcement it insists upon.” Keep up the good work, Craig!

Public Service Announcements. Calendars and pens at the ready. #174. They’re back! I’m referring to the delicious, freshly laid eggs courtesy of the hens at the high school. Ag teacher, Beth Swehla advises ‘Come by and get some or call the classroom at 895-2514. $3.50 a dozen. We also have six Buff Orpington x French Copper Maran cockerels (young males) that are looking for new homes. They are quite big. We would like $10 each, but make us an offer.’ #175. Next Tuesday, Feb 28th, at the 6pm dinner served at the Senior Center, not only will there be a fine feast available, but also it’s time for the Seniors to vote for their Board members. If you are a senior and want to use your vote, you must be there. #176. Just around the corner, the 21st Annual Variety Show is coming up in a few weeks, March 9th and 10th to be precise, at The Grange on Hwy 128. Call 895-3580 to sign up; you don’t have to be a musician to do so! #177. The fight to keep open the Valley treasure Hendy Woods continues and this week sees the publication of the very first newsletter from the group led by Kathy Bailey that is working so hard to ensure that their goal is attained. Their website is at www.HendyWoods.org and the Facebook page is ‘Hendy Woods: Keep it Open.’ The next big fundraising event is a BBQ in April at the Navarro Winery and Vineyards. I’ll keep you posted. #178. In the more distant future, is this year’s PawFest 2012 that will take place on Sunday, July 15th at the AV Brewery to benefit the invaluable AV Animal Rescue organization. I know it’s very early but I thought I’d get it on your calendars now so that you don’t miss this excellent event. After all, along with the usual bbq and live music etc., you’d no doubt hate to miss this year’s carcass-eating display by some cousins of mine — think ‘very exciting hot dog eating contest with some extra bite’!

Topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge — “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley.

…Regulars inform me that there was no General Knowledge and Trivia Quiz at Lauren’s this past week. They have gone to every 2nd and 4th Thursdays until May (so there will a quiz on Thursday, Feb 23rd). Unfortunately, rumors that clearly confused ‘Quizlies’ were seen around town, in an agitated state, sharing various facts and trivia to whomever would listen, are proving to be true.

…Regarding the controversial Valley events that originally surfaced during ‘Black January,’ there is not much to report at this time. The Boonville Saloon (formerly The Lodge) remains closed with little information regarding its future being shared, although a couple of local folks have expressed interest in buying the license. The whole ‘Johnny, Roger, Melinda, & Farrer Building v ’All that Good Stuff’ local store’ episode appears to have calmed down for now, although when the business finally closes its door at its current location in the ‘almost human’ Farrer Building expect to see a ‘little gathering’ of some sort. The High School ‘Fight Club’ incident, resulting in the recent lunchtime lockdown, has now been overshadowed by the possible expulsion of a senior following a fight with another student — an issue that is causing quite an uproar with student protests, lawyers, petitions, and special sessions for the School Board all being involved. And finally, a 3-Dot regular with a friend close to the investigation into the alleged financial irregularities within the Parent/Teacher organization remarked that in his opinion the ‘irregularities’ will be satisfactorily explained by careless accounting methods rather than any calculated crime and that the ‘accused’ will then have some serious grievances against those who would seem to have failed miserably to follow a basic rule of law — ‘innocent until proven guilty.’ We shall no doubt find out.

…The Old Buzzard has nothing to depict the ‘Approach of the Apocalypse’ this week, unless of course you feel that a second term for President Obama is a bad thing. He reports, “My good friend Leah the Lark was on the guest list for last week’s $38,500 per head fundraiser dinner at the home of Robert Mailer Anderson and Nicola Miner, in honor of the special guest, President Obama. The Prez did not join in on the song “Let’s Stay Together” with legendary soul singer Al Green but, after shooting a few hoops on Robert’s basketball court, he did speak Malay with Ling Anderson, Robert’s aunt and the wife of AVA Supremo Bruce Anderson. Other musical guests were Booker T. (of the MG’S) and Anderson’s good friend and harmonica genius Charlie Musselwhite. As for the basketball, Obama doffed his jacket after missing his first shot and then he got serious. “By facial expression.” said Anderson, “he let me know he was clearly a formidable opponent on and off the court,” and that “I could trust him hitting the clutch shot when it counted.” Even with home-court advantage, Anderson lost “fair and square,” he said. Following the evening’s activities, the hosts all agreed, Obama is “just like a regular guy.”

I’m outtahere. Until we talk again, ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you. One final request, “Let us prey.” Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture. PS. Contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or at turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net. PPS. On the sheep, Grace.

On Sunday afternoon, instead of eating a very large dead skunk on Highway 128 by Gowan’s Oak Tree, I decided to have a “cultural” afternoon and attended the Anderson Valley Historical Society’s Roundtable Discussion held on Sunday at the Grange. I was very pleased that I did. Along with about 130 other folks I was treated to a discussion lasting about an hour-and-a-half on life in the Valley in the 1930s and 1940s, as remembered by those who lived here then, most of whom still do so. Those who shared their stories with us all from the stage each deserve a mention: Clyde Price Jr., Ben Van Zandt, Catherine Nobles (Sinott), Donna Cox (Reilly), Berna McAbee (Walker), Eileen Brown (Pronsolino), Wes Smoot, Marian McAbee (Crosby), Gloria Ornbaun (Abbott), Pat Hulbert, and Eva Pardini (Holcomb). It was a most enjoyable event and to see history unfold before your eyes was both an exciting and poignant experience, I must say. Oh, and I should add that the complimentary snacks and refreshments, while not dead skunk, were quite delicious too.

With this visit to The Past clearly in my mind, what better topic for your Quotes of the Week? I think we have some good ones. Let’s start with these words from Daniel Webster (1782-1852) a leading American statesman and senator from Massachusetts, who said, “The past, at least, is secure.” Then there are these words from Mary Webb (1881-1927), an English romantic novelist and poet of the early 20th century: “The past is the present become invisible and mute; and because it is invisible and mute, its memoried glances and its murmurs are infinitely precious. We are tomorrow’s past.” Here are a few wise words from Edward Thomas (1878-1917), an Anglo-Welsh writer of prose and poetry, who opined, “The past is the only dead thing that smells sweet.” And, perhaps inevitably, let’s finish with this very succinct remark from the bard himself, William Shakespeare (1564-1616), “We have seen better days.” On a personal note, I must just add that, in my humble opinion, such events as the one held last weekend can teach us so much and the study of history in general plays such an important part in making the right decisions for the years ahead. I can only hope that future generations of Valley dwellers are made aware of this.

Public Service Announcements. Calendars and pens at the ready. #236: The vets from Mendocino Animal Hospital are back. They will be at The AV Farm Supply tomorrow, Thursday, February 16th from 2-3:30pm. They have asked me to inform you that you do not have to arrive early and then wait a long time; everyone showing up at anytime before 3:30pm will be seen. And while you’re there why not support our local Farm Supply with a purchase or two. Without them there’s no vet visit and it’s a great service to have on our doorstep. #237: The International Alsace Varietals Wine Festival is this weekend, Sat/Sun, Feb 18th/19th at The Fairgrounds in Boonville. Go to avwines.com  for more details. #238: The 21st Annual Variety Show is coming up in a few weeks, March 9th and 10th to be precise, at The Grange on Hwy 128. Call 895-3580 to sign up and you don’t have to be a musician to do so! #239L Talking of The Grange, their monthly meeting is next Tuesday, Feb 21st at 7pm.

Topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge — “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley.

…The AV Film Festival Board members enjoyed a drink or two with several 3-Dot regulars in celebration of their recent very successful event which, they inform us, made a healthy $1869 in profits. This will be distributed to the AV Senior Center ($500), the AV Animal Rescue ($500), the AV High Film Class ($400), The Grange ($169), and one scholarship for a high school senior (to be announced) towards his or her college education ($300). Ya gotta like that.

…A 3-Dot regular informs us that he was witness to an altercation on Gschwend Road last Saturday afternoon which saw one very drunk man fall over twice without being hit once! The inebriated man had been confronted by an angry couple who had apparently had enough of the drunk’s frequent angry and abusive tirades at the end of their driveway, which often ended in threats to themselves and their dogs and the throwing of beer cans over the fence, not to mention a number of abusive phone calls to their home. When confronted by the couple, the drunk fell over backwards, merely as a result of being stared at and verbally rebuked from a few inches away. That often seems to be the case with such folks. Sad but true. His glasses fell off and after being assisted in getting up, he was offered the spectacles back. He took a swipe at snatching them from the outstretched hand but with his judgment clearly impaired he missed and his momentum led him to go crashing to the ground once again. The couple did not help him get up a second time.

…Another regular was in SF this past weekend and he bumped into an old friend, former Mayor Willie Brown, who told him that there will be a real surprise in store for President Obama when he comes to town later this month. You might recall that just a couple of weeks ago, when he was in Harlem, Obama stepped out of his professional character when he sang the opening bars to Al Green’s hit “Let’s Stay Together.” It was a rare glimpse of the guy hanging loose. Well, his San Francisco host, Robert Mailer Anderson, nephew of the AVA’s Supreme Leader, Bruce Anderson, has lined up the Reverend Al himself, for the president’s fundraiser to be held at the spacious home of Robert and wife Nicola Miner on Pacific Heights. Who knows, maybe Al and The Prez will sing a duet? For over $30,000 you can be a guest there to see it.

…”Sheep loose on Anderson Valley Way; heading for downtown Boonville!” Not for long with lifelong Valley shepherd Sam Prather and by-passer/helper Nick Schwartz on the job. It seems that during the strong winds last week, a tree had fallen onto a short stretch of the fence surrounding the field at The Big Barn just north of Boonville, where a dozen or so sheep are kept. On Thursday evening, two of them “made a break for it” through the new-found gap and were approaching Highway 128 and threatening to go into town for a night out — to cause havoc at the Trivia Quiz at Lauren’s Restaurant, some people believe. Remarkably, a passer-by recognized one of them as “Gail,” a sheep she had raised from birth and had given to the local shepherd with that small flock at the nearby Big Barn field. She explained this to Sam, who also lived nearby and the Master Shepherd, with help from Nick and Sam’s sheep dog, returned the two miscreants to their pasture before dark. Sam, who has been in the sheep business all of his life, could not help but chuckle, “Gail? Gail! Sheep with names! This business is in more trouble than I thought it was!”

…Finally this week, it seems that one of my readers is delusional and under the impression that The Old Buzzard, in his comments a couple of weeks ago about Cycked, the group striving to get bike lanes around these parts and beyond, was against their idea. I read the column again and one would hope that even the least discerning of readers would not interpret comments by Buzzard such as “the idea behind this latest fundraiser is a good one and I wish them well” and “one hopes that the community as a whole is not indifferent to such an idea,” as being negative remarks on the group’s plans. He clearly supports the group’s idea, but I guess some people have difficulty understanding the written word these days, particularly if those words present reasonable views that may be contrary to their own. While supporting the premise, the Buzzard wisely brought up some realistic concerns with the plans but I guess certain people around here cannot cope with such things. In this particular case, the person seems to be “cycling through cloud cuckoo land,” trying desperately to remain removed from reality. Good luck with that.

Until we talk again, Keep the Faith; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you. Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey.” Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture. PS. Contact me with words of support/abuse through the Letters Page or at turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net. PPS. Hi, Silver Swan – behaving yourself? Hopefully not!

With such licenses hard to come by, unless someone here can step in and buy this license for a location in the Valley, it is very unlikely in the foreseeable future that folks will get to go out locally and enjoy the company of friends while sipping a martini, a fine single-malt whisky, a “Cosmo,” a Vodka cranberry, or even a Trainwreck! If that is the case then this would surely be one of the more glaring examples that we are most certainly faced with the imminent approach of the Apocalypse.

In the meantime, we do have our crab feeds to cheer us up and the most recent one, held last Saturday evening at The Apple Hall in Boonville, was one of the best yet! Once again the “Original” Crab Feed was a sellout, with well over 350 people in attendance, as the Valley sat down to eat, drink, and make merry together. The crab was delicious and never-ending and I can’t imagine anyone went short as Gloria Ross and her crew did a marvelous job of putting on a great night out for the tenth year in succession. Most people were gone by 9:30pm and I left not long after that, leaving some of the young Valley socialites to enjoy a drink at the bar with friends as the hard-working volunteers sat down to enjoy their own crab feed. They certainly deserved it!

As we move on from Black January, and with Valentine’s Day (Feb 14th) less than a week away, I thought some words of wisdom on the topic of “Love” would be in order for your Quotes of the Week. First, let’s bring in the author Katherine Mansfield (1888-1923) who wittily observed, “If only one could tell true love from false love, as one can tell mushrooms from toadstools.” And this from Diane Arbus (1923-1971), the American photographer and writer, who wrote, “Love involves a peculiar, unfathomable combination of understanding and misunderstanding.” The list would not be complete without a contribution from my old friend Bill Shakespeare (1564-1616) the English poet and playwright, widely regarded as the greatest writer in the English language. Here’s his classic line from Twelfth Night: “If music be the food of love, play on.” And let’s finish with Valley resident and author, poet, and activist, Alice Walker (1944 -?) whose words we could all live by, “I have learned not to worry about love; but to honor its coming with all of my heart.”

And now back down to earth. Public Service Announcements. Calendars and pens at the ready. #363: Dean Titus and the Coyote Cowboys supported by Wild Oats will be playing for your ‘Romancin’ and Dancin’ pleasure on Saturday, Feb 11th at The Grange in a benefit for the Senior Center. #364: The next afternoon, Sunday, Feb 12th, it’s the AV Historical Society’s Roundtable Discussion entitled “Anderson Valley in the 1930s and 1940s.” This free event will be held at The Grange on Highway 128 beginning at 1:30pm with a discussion panel featuring 15 Valley folks who lived here during those years. Everyone is welcome and encouraged to attend what will surely not only be a fascinating afternoon of old Valley stories and memories but also a unique piece of history in the making. #365: Next Tuesday, Feb 14th, is the second Tuesday so that means Dinner and Bingo at the Senior Center — good food, beer and wine, top quality bingo with prizes, and, as you know by now, you don’t have to be a senior to attend! #366: The vets from Mendocino Animal Hospital return for their monthly visit to the Valley next Thursday, February 16th. They will be at The AV Farm Supply from 2-3:30pm.

Topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge. Yes “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley where people gather and share their thoughts about Valley life.

…Along with a couple of 3-Dot regulars, I attended the Unity Club luncheon last week, which saw Sheriff Tom Allman and District Attorney David Eyster as the guest speakers. Both are eloquent, informative, and interesting public speakers with affection for, and awareness of, the Valley and its issues, so their words were inevitably well received. However, perhaps what was not expected was their warm welcome of yours truly with firm handshakes and broad smiles. Such greetings by these two powerful men of the law could do a lot of harm to my reputation and I can assure you it will not happen again.

…The downturn in business at the local eateries cannot be blamed on the quality of the food, with Lauren’s Restaurant (with it’s exceptional Pot Roast and Pulled Pork dishes) and The Buckhorn (spicy wings and Buffalo burgers) both making the local dining experience something which deserves a far greater audience. Support your local restaurants; these days you never know if they will always be there.

Time to take my leave. Until we talk again, Keep the Faith; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you. Of course, one final request, “Let us prey.” Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture. PS. Contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or at turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net  PPS. On the sheep, Grace.

With this in mind, let’s have a couple of relevant Quotes of the Week. First from English novelist Jane Austen (1775–1817), who clearly had a very dim view of history, referring to it as “The quarrels of popes and kings, with wars and pestilences in every page; the men all so good for nothing, and hardly any women at all.” Well, that will certainly not be the case at the Roundtable Discussion, I’m sure. Far more likely, our local event will reflect the view of Stephen Spender (1909–1995), the English poet, novelist and essayist, who commented, “History is the ship carrying living memories into the future.” Perfect. I hope to see you all there.

Public Service Announcements. Calendars and pens at the ready. #361: The ‘Original’ Crab Feed is this coming Saturday, Feb 4th and it is sold out. Happy Hour is at 6pm; dinner served at 7pm. #362: The 29th Annual Fruit Tree Grafting Workshop and Seed & Scion Exchange is on Saturday, February 4, 2012 from 9-4 at the Domes at Anderson Valley High School in Boonville. For more information, call Barbara Goodell 895-3897; Mark Albert 462-7843; or Richard Jeske 459-592. #363: Dean Titus and the Coyote Cowboys, supported by Wild Oats, will be playing for your Romancin’ and Dancin’ pleasure on Saturday, Feb 11th at The Grange in a benefit for the AV Senior Center.

Topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge — “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley.

…Many 3-Dot regulars attended the 6th Annual AV Film Festival held at The Grange last weekend and commented that not only were the films very interesting, informative, and entertaining, but there were also very good crowds in attendance. The Festival gave all profits to three local beneficiaries – The Senior Center, Animal Rescue, and the AV High Film Class, and ya gotta like that. The food and refreshments were also highly praised but, on the flip side, one local businessman was spotted eating a sandwich he had presumably brought to the Festival from elsewhere. To make matters worse, this miserable so-and-so was eating it on the porch right next to Alicia’s Taco stand that was donating 50¢ to the event for every taco sold. Boooo! Some folks just don’t get it.

…President Obama will be back in San Francisco next month — once again as part of a West Coast fundraising swing. A pair of Feb. 16 events are planned in the City, one of which is the $35,800-a-head dinner for 50 guests at the Pacific Heights home of novelist Robert Mailer Anderson and his wife, Nicola, followed by a large reception at a yet-to-be-decided public venue where tickets will go for anywhere from $100 to $10,000. There is no truth to the vicious rumor that Robert has asked his uncle, AVA Supremo Bruce Anderson, to fork over the full $35,800 to attend. Nevertheless, Bruce has said he does not expect to get in for nothing and has offered to work at the coat-check stand in return for a seat at the ‘Top Table.’

…From our 3-Dot regular, The Old Buzzard, comes another in his insightful series ‘The Approach of the Apocalypse.’ Buzzard reports, “Based on the recent turnout at Lauren’s Restaurant, quite a few local folks are excited at the prospect of bike lanes in the Valley; all the way to the coast in fact, an idea being championed by a local group’s (‘Cyked’) campaign. The idea behind this latest fundraiser is a good one and I wish them well. However, one cannot help but wonder if this is not just the passion of a small section of the community, with the best will in the world, but few followers beyond their own friends and associates. They would not be the first such group around here to be described as such. I only occasionally see people on bikes, even on a slow and safe road like Anderson Valley Way. As for kids being out on their bicycles, as in the good old days, I hardly ever see this. Do kids cycle to school? No. Is this because there are no bike lanes? Possibly; but perhaps more likely because bicycling is not seen as ‘cool’ among school students these days. Hopefully, this would all change if the bike lanes were installed. ‘Build it and they will come’ would be great and one hopes that the community as a whole is not indifferent to such an idea. If they are then surely it is too bad and yet another sign that the Apocalypse is approaching if ever there was one. We shall see.”

Thanks for the insights, Buzzard. Time to take my leave. Until we talk again. Keep the Faith; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you. One final request, “Let us prey.” Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture. PS. Contact me with words of support/abuse through the Letters Page at turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net. PPS. On the sheep, Grace.

And for your Quote of the Week, let’s stay with good causes and turn to this comment from Walt Whitman (1819-1892), the American poet, essayist, journalist, humanist, and wit, who perceptively pointed out, “Charity and personal force are the only investments worth anything. And of course, I should also mention these wise words from Francis Bacon (1561-1626) the English philosopher, statesman, and scientist who said, “In charity there is no excess.” Not when it comes to the giving-folks of Anderson Valley it would seem.

Public Service Announcements, calendars and pens at the ready. #117: This coming weekend is the 6th Annual AV Film Festival at The Grange on Friday/Saturday, January 27th-28th. The program is as eclectic as ever with some excellent documentaries, a feature film for all the family on the Saturday night, and the usual assortment of socially aware and environmental films, plus the recent work of the AV High Film Class, with some films accompanied by the filmmakers themselves, present to discuss their projects. Beer from the AV Brewery, local wines, and hot and cold food is available, including delicious tacos from Alicia’s Restaurant. All profits will go to the AV Senior Center, AV Animal Rescue, and the AV High School Film Class. Festival details can be found on the Festival website www.andersonvalleyfilmfestival.org. #118. The vets from Mendocino Animal Hospital are back; they will be at The AV Farm Supply tomorrow, Thursday, January 26th from 2-3.30pm. They have asked me to inform you that you do not have to arrive early and then wait a long time, everyone showing up at anytime before 3.30pm will be seen. #119” A few Crab Feed tickets are still available for the second of the Valley’s two crab feeds, but it is anticipated they will sell out very soon, if they haven’t already. This is the 10th ‘Original’ Crab Feed, benefiting the Catholic Church, and will be Saturday, February 4th. For ticket information, call Gloria Ross at 895-3071. As usual, the event is to be held at The Apple Hall in Boonville and, as I’ve said many times, together with the previous crab feed, this is one of the best pure Valley-dweller gatherings of the year.

Moving quickly on to a few of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge: “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley.

…Following the aforementioned crab feed, several revelers continued with their evening at The Boonville Saloon (formerly The Boonville Lodge). By 1am, three of them were in no shape to drive home to Philo so, to solve this dilemma, bartender Cindy Hughbanks stepped up and drove them there. Now that’s what I call excellent bartending and a full service bar!

…Another ‘feel good’ story that regulars at The 3-Dot were sharing this past week was the sight of several employees and out-of-town sales people employed by the AV Brewery, led by co-owner Trey, enjoying a hearty lunch at the Senior Center. Brewery manager, Fal Allen is on the Senior Center Board and no doubt encouraged this and I must say it was very pleasing to see. Some Valley business folks are never seen out and about in the community and that has always puzzled me.

…The 3-Dot was closed on Sunday afternoon, so along with many regulars I endured the disappointing loss by the 49ers among a large crowd of local 49er fans who assembled at The Buckhorn, Boonville. For one and all, the afternoon was no doubt an emotional rollercoaster that ultimately crashed and burned following the bonehead play by the ‘Niners’ second-string punt-returner — his second such egregious error of the game, which together led directly to 10 points for the opposition. I imagine he left San Francisco on a red-eye flight very early on Monday morning, never to return. Nevertheless, not to make light of such a disappointing loss to the big bad NY Giants (in overtime 17-20), there was a silver-lining: the large plate of hot and spicy wings were back to their very best and when served with a pint of Guinness for $12, the excruciating loss was almost bearable. (But not quite.)

Time to take my leave. Until we talk again, Keep the Faith; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you. One final request, “Let us prey.” Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture. PS. Contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or at turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net, PPS. Hi, Silver Swan – behaving yourself? Hopefully not!

This past Saturday night saw the first of the Valley’s two Crab Feed gatherings, arguably the best “pure” Valley events of the year in the sense that the vast majority of those who attend are from across the wide spectrum of Valley folks. This one benefited the AV Senior Center and with a turnout of over 250, a very brisk business at the bar, and the sale of many raffle tickets, I’m sure that the Center will be most grateful for the community’s very generous support. So many people come together to put together an event of this size, from the Senior Center Board led by the effervescent and tireless Sheri Hansen, to the many volunteers on the night, including the very capable wait staff from the AV High School cheerleading and football teams, led by coaches Keri Sanchez and John Toohey, to Harold Hulbert, who organized the crab, and of course the various donating wineries and the AV Brewery, plus the local folks and small businesses who provided raffle prizes. With Dean Titus and fellow musicians Craig Titus, Chris Rossi, Brian Wood, and talented singer Susan Clark, providing both background and dance music, the atmosphere was wonderful and it was a joy to be a part of such a special event. Well done to one and all!

That’s enough “gushing” for this curmudgeonly Turkey Vulture. Let’s move on to the Quote of the Week and share with you some words on the continuing major talking point about around here – the weather. As you read this, hopefully the rain is pouring down outside because, as everyone will readily let you know — we need it! Here’s a good one from Charles Dudley Warner (1829-1900), the American essayist, novelist, and friend of Mark Twain, who very perceptively said, “Everyone talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.” And if it really does come down in torrents this week, let’s hope it’s not too much all at once so that we have to recall William Shakespeare’s great line, one used by myself often in the company of Hummingbird, “’Tis a naughty night to be naked in.”

Public Service Announcements. Calendars and pens at the ready. #422: Crab Feed tickets are still available for the second of our two crab feeds but it is anticipated they will sell out once again. This is the “Original” Crab Feed that will be held on Saturday, February 4th for which you can get tickets by calling Gloria Ross at 895-3071. Just like the “feed” this past weekend, it is to be held at The Apple Hall in Boonville and, as I’ve said many times, together with the similar Senior Center event this is one of the best Valley gatherings of the year. #423: The vets from Mendocino Animal Hospital return for a second January visit to the Valley next Thursday, January 26th. They will be at The AV Farm Supply from 2pm-3.30pm. #424: Coming up is the 6th Annual AV Film Festival that will take place at The Grange on Friday/Saturday, January 27th-28th. The program is as eclectic as ever with some excellent documentaries, a film for all the family on the Saturday night, and the usual assortment of socially aware and environmental films, plus the recent work of the AVHS Film Class. All the details can be found on the Festival website www.andersonvalleyfilmfestival.org .

Topics under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge — “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley.

…Raised eyebrows, comments of incredulity, and questions as to the man’s sanity, were all in evidence in the 3-Dot upon hearing that dedicated newspaperman, Bruce Anderson of the AVA, last weekend declined an invitation to the 49er play-off game against the Saints. It was not just a regular invitation though. Let Bruce explain” “Such is my commitment to an unfettered press, I turned down my nephew Robert Mailer Anderson’s conditional offer to watch Saturday’s playoff game from the owner’s box. He said I was invited but I couldn’t write about the experience. So, with a heavy heart, I declined.” I must say that this was an amazing act of sports martyrdom, which modesty no doubt forbade the esteemed editor from mentioning in his column. Obviously most of our regulars at the 3-Dot just thought the man had taken too much of his medication to turn down such an offer, but hoped he was able to watch this fantastic game, that saw the 49ers gain a famous victory, from the comfort of his luxurious leather Barcalounger, the Presidential model obviously.

…From our 3-Dot regular, The Old Buzzard, comes another in his insightful series, “The Approach of the Apocalypse.” Buzzard reports, “It’s quiet around here. Following a relatively slow holiday period, from the point of view of our local small businesses, the first couple of weeks of 2012 have not been great either. January is always a little slow but February and March generally slower. With that in mind I encourage the community to support your local businesses even more than ever at this time of year and, if you have a choice, put your hard-earned dollars back into the Valley before you think about ‘going over the hill’ to Ukiah. It would be very disappointing, although perhaps not entirely shocking given the current financial climate, if anyone had to close-up shop but hopefully with us all pulling together and thinking locally, this will not happen. If it did, I would have to see it as yet another sign that the Apocalypse is fast approaching.”

After this emotional rollercoaster of a column, now I think it’s time to take my leave. Until we talk again, Keep the Faith; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you. One final request, “Let us prey.” Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture. PS. Contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or at turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net, PPS. On the sheep, Grace.

”After 22 years in business, providing many, many customers with a wide range of goods and services, from greeting cards and birthday gifts to a copying machine and a UPS drop-off, it appears that ”All that Good Stuff’s” landlord, Johnny Schmitt, proprietor and chef at The Boonville Hotel, is thinking seriously about other plans for the business space in the Farrer Building that he and his partners own in the very heart of Boonville. If these plans come to fruition, storeowner Leslie Hummel, having just negotiated a sale to store employee Claudia, a sale that was to provide a retirement nest-egg for Leslie and a wonderful opportunity for Claudia to run her own business, will have to close and make way for a cheese and wine tasting establishment to be run by Johnny and his partners.

Now, before I go on, this is not necessarily going to happen in the next month or so, in fact it may not happen at all if the members of the community with whom I spoke over the past weekend have anything to do with it. Or perhaps Johnny will reconsider and write it off as an idea whose time is a long way off.

However, if he sticks with the plans he has recently expressed to those affected, it is likely that the best possible scenario for the tenants is for some sort of temporary ”stay-of-execution.” In that case, the store will remain as it is for as long as Leslie and Claudia can get Johnny to agree to at the meeting held between the interested parties this week.

Nevertheless, whatever that time period may be, and three years may well be the maximum, the inevitable will happen and at that time Leslie and Claudia will be left with virtually nothing to show for their endeavors. The current store would be worthless and unsaleable with such plans in place for its future in the relative short term.

Needless to say the community will not be happy with this development. Leslie is personally very popular and is regarded as a mainstay amongst the small business owners of the Valley. Many people have already expressed disapproval of Johnny’s proposed actions and I have been contacted by three people close to the situation, each asking me to write about events and pass it on to the Turkey Vulture column.

It appears that the wine and cheese tasting operation would be run by Johnny and partners so Leslie and Claudia would have no legal recourse — the lease ran out several months ago and Leslie has been on a month-to-month lease since then. Claudia was going to pay Leslie off for the business over the next few years, it is her only option, and Leslie was going to rely on this for a significant part of her retirement income. That deal will obviously be compromised if Johnny’s perceived intentions are carried out and Leslie will have nothing to show for her 22 years at the store, hence the ‘angry villagers’ I spoke with over the weekend.

I have heard that ”aesthetically” the quirky store is not in keeping with the landlords’ ideas about what businesses ”fit” in their Farrer Building, alongside the Mosswood Market, the Farmhouse Mercantile Store, and Paysanne Ice Cream. It is not Healdsburg, but I think you get my meaning. That is fine of course, the businesses all provide good quality products, and Johnny, to his great credit, has put as great deal of effort into improving the look of the place and its surroundings. However, to add a cheese and wine tasting venue to complement these businesses at the expense of such a versatile community store as ”All that Good Stuff” is surely not the way to go. Certainly not in the eyes of local people, it isn’t.

Johnny has expressed his grief at having to do this to his long-standing tenant. Whilst this may well be true, and I have no reason to think otherwise, the real question is why do this in the first place? Wines and cheeses are available all over the Valley; ”All that Good Stuff” is a unique store for the community, one that provides many of us with ”Stuff” (goods and services) that you cannot get anywhere else around here. This fact, coupled with the ill-conceived idea to kick out one of the more popular local business owners after 22 years of serving the community, really does mean that any backlash hurled in the direction of Johnny would not be at all unexpected.

What can be done about this? Well, as I said above, nothing legally. However, perhaps the landlords will be quite sensitive to any negative public opinion, which could well lead to a backing-off on their behalf. Other than that it is difficult to see what else the aggrieved tenants can do about this situation. Community ill will and a boycott of The Hotel by Leslie’s ”crowd” is hardly a threat since the vast majority of them are not regular customers there. I would be surprised if Johnny shopped at Leslie’s store himself and most people I have spoken to feel that he has misread the situation and has no idea that the feelings will be very strong in support of ”our Good Stuff.” From his point of view, he is in the process of making what he believes to be a sound business decision, and ultimately that is his right of course.

Ideally, Johnny may realize that this ”cheese and wine” idea of his will cause more ill feeling than he imagined, or wish to confront, and he and his partners will decide to forget the idea. That may well be the wise thing to do. It would certainly be viewed as the ethical move and one that would bring him kudos rather than the undoubted dishonor that will be placed upon him if the idea moves ahead. If it does so, then I believe this past weekend’s relatively mild tirades of negativity expressed his way are just the beginning.”

Well thanks for the report, Mr. Sparks. I think a public protest, an old-fashioned chanting of ”Hands off our Stuff!” and a placard-waving gathering outside either the Hotel and/or Leslie’s Store might have an effect, but I’m just a troublemaker and could be wrong. Meanwhile, before moving on let’s have a couple of relevant Quotes of the Week. First it’s the words of Oliver Goldsmith (1730-1774), the writer, poet and physician, a native of Ireland, from the Anglo-Irish Ascendancy, who said, ”Honor sinks where commerce long prevails.” And a second comment would be that of Henry Ford (1863-1947) who said, ”A business that makes nothing but money is a poor kind of business.” I couldn’t agree more, Henry!

Public Service Announcements. Calendars and pens at the ready. #64: The vets from Mendocino Animal Hospital are back for a visit to the Valley on two occasions this month. They will be at The AV Farm Supply tomorrow Thursday, January 12th and then again in two weeks on the 26th, from 2-3.30pm each day. They have asked me to inform you that you do not have to arrive early and then wait a long time — everyone showing up before 3.30pm will be seen. #65: Crab Feed tickets are now available. The first of these very popular annual Valley events will benefit the Senior Center and takes place this coming Saturday, January 14th, just a few days away! You can call Gina Parlini for tickets at 895-3609 or stop by the Senior Center or any of these other Valley locations: Lemons’ Market, Laughing Dog Books, All That Good Stuff, and the Mendocino County Fair Grounds. Then it is the ”Original” Crab Feed on Saturday, February 4th for which you can get tickets by calling Gloria Ross at 895-3071. Both events are at The Apple Hall in Boonville and are two of the best Valley gatherings of the year. As my attorney told me many times, and I’ve since shared his words with you on many occasions. ”Trust me on this, you can thank me later.”

Time to take my leave. Until we talk again, Keep the Faith; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you. Oh, and of course, one final request, Let us prey.” Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture. PS. Contact me with words of support/abuse through the Letters Page or by e-mail at turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net. PPS. Hi, Silver Swan; behaving yourself? Hopefully not!

And for your Quotes of the Week, here are some heart-warming thoughts on the passing of loved ones. First it’s these words from Helen Keller, the deaf/blind author, political activist, and lecturer, who said, “What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.” And there is this wonderful thought proposed in an Eskimo Legend: “Perhaps they are not stars in the sky, but rather openings where our loved ones shine down to let us know they are happy.” And finally, the anonymously written but poignant, “Those we love don’t go away, they walk beside us every day. Unseen, unheard, but always near; still loved, still missed and very dear.”

Public Service Announcements. Calendars and pens at the ready. #64: The vets from Mendocino Animal Hospital are back for a visit to the Valley on two occasions this month. They will be at The AV Farm Supply on Thursdays, January 12th and 26th from 2pm-3.30pm each day. They have asked me to inform you that you do not have to arrive early and then wait a long time. Everyone showing up at anytime before 3.30pm will be seen. #65: Crab Feed tickets are now available. The first of these very popular annual Valley events will benefit the Senior Center and takes place on Saturday, January 14th — just ten days away! You can call Gina Pardini for tickets at 895-3609 or stop by the Senior Center or any of these other Valley locations: Lemons’ Market, Laughing Dog Books, All That Good Stuff, and the Mendocino County Fair Grounds. Then it is the ‘Original’ Crab Feed on Saturday, February 4th for which you can get tickets by calling Gloria Ross at 895-3071. Both events are at The Apple Hall in Boonville and are two of the best Valley gatherings of the year. As my attorney told me many times, and I’ve since told you too, “Trust me on this, you can thank me later.”

The Three-Dot Lounge was closed over the holiday but that allowed me some time to come up with some of my personal hopes and wishes for 2012.

• Chocolate Chip and Vanilla Ice Cream will be in plentiful supply at every grocery store in The Valley.

• All drivers shall follow the rules of the road. That most definitely includes California Vehicle Code # 21656 — ‘Slower vehicles must pull over to allow others to pass’. No driving over 60mph anywhere; no driving under 40mph in the 55mph limit without pulling over in the Valley’s many turnouts to let others pass. Of course driving at 30mph or less in town is to be strictly enforced, with very grave consequences for those who do not follow these guidelines. Do I hear ‘feed ‘em to the pigs’ from anyone?…

• All drivers parking at 90 degrees to the sidewalk outside businesses and stores will have their vehicles egged. Eggs will be paid for (upon proof of receipt and photograph of the eggs on the windscreen) by Captain Rainbow, as this is his pet peeve and he wants to see the practice brought to an end as much as any of us…

• Residents will be asked to ‘verbally confront’ the ‘biker hordes’ when those weekend visitors (mostly accountants, bankers, and lawyers posing in their rarely worn, stiff and shiny leathers, pretending to be ‘rebels’) arrive this summer and annoyingly begin revving up their very noisy Harleys. From now on hopefully they will be pointed at and told, “Don’t be late at the office on Monday morning.”.. What are they going to do? Throw their man-purses at us?…

• When some people are asked a question about something they know nothing or very little about, they should be encouraged to say, “I don’t know.” That is o.k. and is a very acceptable response is such instances. It will also save everyone lots of time…

• All citizens must get tags for their pets. It’s easy and cheap at www.tagxpress.com and all those hard working volunteers at the Animal Rescue, plus the many other animal lovers in The Valley, will certainly appreciate it… Anyone not abiding by this rule to be fined $1 and the monies collected to be donated to the A.V. Animal Rescue…

• All attendees at Pot Lucks in The Valley must bring a dish or some form of alcohol large enough to feed or quench the thirst of at least eight guests. A stick of celery/ days-old bread/two beers will no longer suffice…

• No more vineyards are allowed if they are to be owned by a wine-guzzling know-all who assumes they can make wine just because they have made their millions elsewhere in an entirely different expertise. This is to be rigidly enforced if such a person is living in some far flung location, has never lived here, and who wouldn’t know a wild hog if it bit him in the ass or a Turkey Vulture if it defecated on his head…

• Anyone, anywhere in public, starting a sentence with “You should” will be fined $1 on the spot. All monies going towards the Christmas Tree Fund…

• Phone service employees will be issued written warnings as to their future conduct if they are observed standing around for more than an hour at the side of the road pointing up in the air. Perhaps this will save time and then we would not be told that in order to have our phone repaired we have to stay at home and to expect the technician to arrive “sometime between 8am and 7pm”!…

• Caltran workers who are standing around doing nothing will not be allowed to scowl menacingly at drivers as they pass. It’s not clever, funny, or even that menacing, but it does seem to keep many of them from their work for long periods of time…

• When the power goes out, PG&E will not be able to tell us that they are “out of power” themselves. Lie to us — anything will do rather than this ridiculous and unsettling announcement that was heard over the radio waves around this time last year…

• When somebody calls to remind you of your appointment for something or other at their place of work, they should do so clearly and concisely, not by mumbling or by speaking so quickly that the message is undecipherable. That seems to me as if it really defeats their purpose?…

• All herky-jerky, whirling, twirling, hippy-dancing, whenever and wherever it breaks out in public, will be halted by concerned residents. Obviously this applies neither to the female movers who have rhythm nor the exotically-skilled belly dancers one occasionally sees, but it certainly does to the other 90% who make up this odd group…

• And finally, and perhaps most important of all — the limited choice in toilet tissue sold at the local stores will be enlarged in 2012 so as to include the really strong stuff that myself and The Four-eyed Woodpecker, to name just two, require to complete our daily ablutions satisfactorily and thus avoid the ‘internal self-examination’ we currently seem to have to go through every morning…

Time to take my leave. So, until we talk again, Keep the Faith; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you. One final request, “Let us prey.” Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture. PS. Contact me with words of support/abuse through the Letters Page or at turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net.

With all the excesses of the holiday season I have inevitably come to the conclusion that, like Alexander Woollcott, social commentator for New Yorker magazine, almost “all of the things I enjoy doing are immoral, illegal, or fattening.” So, with the dawn of a new year upon us, and with new resolutions bursting forth, for the Quote of the Week let me offer you these wise words by Gore Vidal to think about as we move into 2012. “Never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.” Difficult to argue with that, I’d say.

Delicious cheeses, homemade biscotti and breads; succulent hams, turkeys, hot chicken wings, and rib roasts; unique and zesty guacamole and bean dips, potato salads, garlic mashed potatoes, bacon wrapped asparagus, etc., not to mention the accompanying wonderful local wines and thirst-quenching beers. Yes the holidays at The Nest have been quite a binge so far. However, did you know that along with all those goodies, we Turkey Vultures also like our veggies? Yes, folks, a recent study of almost 400 of our pellets collected in the Castro Valley and Livermore areas in California showed that plant material was the single most common ingredient of the Turkey Vulture’s diet. The material consisted primarily of grass and leaves. Don’t let all this fool you, though. Animal food items in the pellets included: shrew, mole, squirrel, gopher, mouse, rat, rabbit, bird, reptile, insect, muskrat, opossum, raccoon, skunk, badger, sheep, and coyote. If not consumed and sterilized by the TVs, these carcasses would have rotted on the ground and could have spread disease. We truly are nature’s garbage collectors and proud of it. “Trust me on this. You can thank me later.”

Public Service Announcements. Calendars and pens at the ready. #131: Lauren’s Restaurant in Boonville is having a New Year’s Eve Dance Party with Dean Titus and the Coyote Cowboys, featuring Susan Clark. The music will start at 9pm with a $12 cover charge. Dinner served 5-9pm. #132: For many Valley folks of perhaps a different ilk, The Boonville Saloon will have a party on the same night and this will most likely be a sort of alumni gathering for large numbers of the AVHS grads of 1970 to 2005 and their families and friends. #133: Meanwhile, down the street at The Buckhorn there is an evening with a different flavor: Casino Night with four-course dinner, complimentary drinks, champagne at midnight, party favors, and $50 in casino chips. #134: Crab Feed tickets are now available. The first of these will benefit the Senior Center and takes place on Saturday, January 14th. Call Gina Pardini for tickets at 895-3609. Then it’s the ‘Original’ Crab Feed on Saturday, February 4th for which you can get tickets by calling Gloria Ross at 895-3071. Both events are at The Apple Hall in Boonville and are two of the best Valley gatherings of the year. As I’ve said many times before (in fact just moments ago in the previous paragraph), “Trust me on this. You can thank me later.”

Now for more Topics at The Three-Dot Lounge — “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley.

…I am very pleased to report that ‘Confused of Comptche, California’ stopped by The 3-Dot this past week and shared some words of wisdom with the regulars. “Let me share with you a little Christmas anecdote. My great Uncle Ernest was born in 1908, and he had all his own teeth until the day he died. This isn’t as impressive as it might at first seem, however, as he died aged 16 when he choked on a turkey bone on Christmas Day 1924.” I hope I wasn’t too late in sharing this tragic tale. Eat carefully.

…From our 3-Dot regular, The Old Buzzard, comes another in his insightful series” ‘The Approach of the Apocalypse.’ Buzzard reports, “I thought I’d sit in for Turkey Vulture and do my own ‘Wine/Whine of the Week.’ Having sipped a couple of glasses of the Claudia Springs Zinfandel with wild pig ribs on Christmas Eve, the choice for the Wine of the Week was easy: truly delicious, well done Bob and Claudia Klindt! My ‘Whine of the Week’ is far more in keeping with the Approach of the Apocalypse theme and it concerns the dreadful music played on Christmas morning on the Valley’s KZYX radio station. After 30 minutes of dull and morose songs, I had to turn it off and scratch a blackboard with my claws. I know this is a subjective topic but what were they thinking of? Certainly not the vast majority of listeners, I’d say. Surely the show is not a private listening for the benefit of the presenter in a little room in Philo. I know, I know, they are volunteers and I realize it was Christmas Day and we should be grateful somebody showed up. With that in mind I even went back to the program, twice in fact, so that I might hear an improvement. But no, the choice of songs for such a festive morning continued to be most annoying and I turned it off until noon. That’s when Fred Wooley showed up on the airwaves with his ‘Audible Feast’ and, as always, provided us with some relevant and entertaining music — as many others frequently do, including Diane Hering and Jimmy Humble to mention just two. As we are reminded repeatedly, KZYX is ‘listener supported, community radio’ but sadly this will not be for much longer around Buzzardville Mountain if such programming as we were served up with on Xmas morning continues. And that would be a shame.

Oh, dear, did Buzzard upset somebody? Well, that’s unfortunate but I’m sure many others would agree with his comments about the Christmas morning broadcast. And some will possibly disagree. It is life in the Valley after all! Meanwhile, until we talk again. Keep the Faith; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you. One final request, “Let us prey.” Hopefully, the New Year will bring you happiness and good health and may your dreams come true for 2012. Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture. PS. Contact me with words of support/abuse through the Letters Page or at turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net. PPS. On the sheep, Grace.

This was pointed out to me by a Board member who was no doubt very surprised to hear through this column that he had this health insurance when in fact he knew that he most certainly did not. My source on that was incorrect and has since been fed to the pigs as a result of his sloppy investigation work. Meanwhile, the Board member and I talked it through in a dignified manner, I apologized sincerely, and, at the end of our conversation, handshakes were made and an assurance of our continued friendship was mutually agreed upon. I will endeavor to do my best to ensure that such an error does not occur again.

With this in mind, and for your Quote of the Week, I have found a couple of relevant comments on the issue of wrongdoing, both of which suggest that one error can undo a lot of good work… First it’s the English wit and historian, Thomas Fuller who said, “A small demerit extinguishes a long and worthwhile service.” And then there is the Latin proverb, “Those who are once found to be bad are presumed so forever.” Harsh stuff and a lesson learned by a humble Turkey Vulture.

So here we are again — another Christmas/Hannukah/Kwanzai, or whatever, and every year it seems to get more frantic out there. However, up here at The Nest, Hummingbird and I plan to have a relatively calm and very relaxing few days. In fact, let’s be honest, ultimately this holiday is only really for the enjoyment of a couple of groups of people. As a result of spending many Christmas holidays in San Francisco, I feel that I can state with a degree of authority that Christmas is primarily for the enjoyment of gay men (they have the best Xmas parties) and children (for all the obvious reasons). Not that there is anything wrong with this of course, but I am neither, so I will no doubt eat, drink, and be merry in my own reserved and mellow manner. Meanwhile, if you’re out Xmas shopping try to remember that I’m an XXL; otherwise fresh carrion is always good.

Public Service Announcements. Calendars and pens at the ready. #21: Useful numbers at this time of year: for road conditions and closures call 1-800-gas-road (427-7623) and for power problems and outages call 1-800-PGE (743)-5000. I just thought you should know. #22: The Quiz at Lauren’s Restaurant will take place as usual tomorrow, Dec 22nd at 7pm. Yes, it is near to Christmas, but if you’re going to be hunkered down at home with loved ones for two or three days then perhaps a night out in the Valley, sipping beer and wine, enjoying a tasty meal, and exercising the mind, would be ideal preparation. #23: An early ‘heads-up’ for the 6th Annual AV Film Festival that will take place at The Grange on Friday/Saturday, January 27th-28th. The program is as eclectic as ever with some excellent documentaries, a film for all the family on the Saturday night, and the usual assortment of socially aware and environmental films, plus the recent work of the AVHS Film Class. All the details can be found on the Festival website which has recently been updated and can be found at www.andersonvalleyfilmfestival.org .

Now for Topics and Valley events from The Three-Dot Lounge — “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley where people gather and share their thoughts about Valley life.

…With Xmas gifts still not purchased, some regulars were in panic mode this week. ‘Look no further,’ I told them. ‘Crab Feed tickets are now available.’ The first of these will benefit the Senior Center and takes place on Saturday, January 14th — you can call Gina Pardini for tickets at 895-3609. Then it is the ‘Original’ Crab Feed on Saturday, February 4th for which you can get tickets by calling Gloria Ross at 895-3071. Both events are at The Apple Hall in Boonville and are two of the best Valley gatherings of the year; trust me on this, you can thank me later.

…The votes are in on the two ‘Best holiday season meal-deal dinners in the Valley,’ both for less than $20. Our regulars have decided on Lauren’s Restaurant’s Hot Turkey Sandwich with gravy, cranberries, mashed potatoes and green beans and The Buckhorn’s Buffalo Burger with all the fixin’s and garlic fries. Having tried them both, I wholeheartedly agree, particularly when ‘devoured’ in the company of friends while guzzling a beer or two.

Time to take my leave. Until we talk again, Keep the Faith; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you. Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey.” Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture. PS. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net. PPS. Hi, Silver Swan! behaving yourself? Hopefully not!

However, it’s not all happiness and joy as evidenced by those folks who seem to get into such a flap over the ‘Happy Holiday’ or ‘Merry Christmas’ thing. I have heard of Valley folks refusing to attend Valley events because they were called a “Holiday Party” and not a “Christmas Party,” and vice versa, I should add. Oh, please! Does it really matter? Of course I know the “big picture” arguments as to why it might cause concern among both the “extreme PC crowd” and the “bible-thumpers,” but really, to miss out on a lovely evening spent with friends simply because of the evening’s title? Surely this time of year gives us all, including those who spend most of the time up on their soapboxes or pontificating from their ivory towers, to simply spend quality with loved ones and appreciate them being in our lives. But that’s easy for me to say — and so I just did.

As a pontificator of some repute myself (see above), perhaps a couple of thoughts on this topic should provide your Quotes of the Week. First up, it’s former Presidential hopeful Adlai Stevenson, a man noted for his intellectual demeanor, eloquent oratory, and promotion of liberal causes, who said, “The sound of tireless voices is the price we pay for the right to hear the music of our own opinions.” Perfect — it’s certainly the very expensive price I seem to pay on my Valley travels. And then there is the classic comment on free speech from Voltaire who famously said, “I may disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.” Couldn’t have said that better myself.

Public Service Announcements. Calendars and pens at the ready. #252. The vets from Mendocino Animal Hospital are back. They will be at The AV Farm Supply tomorrow, Thursday, Dec. 15 from 2-3:30pm. They have asked me to inform you that you do not have to arrive early and then wait a long time. Everyone showing up at anytime before 3:30pm will be seen. #253. It’s the Christmas Carols Sing-a-long with pianist Lynn Archambault at 8:30pm this Saturday, Dec. 17 at Lauren’s Restaurant in Boonville. #254. Tomorrow is your last chance to enjoy a lunch at the Senior Center until 2012 as they will be closed until Tuesday, Jan 3. #255. No Barn Sale this month.

Topics and Valley events from The Three-Dot Lounge — yes, “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley.

…Several regulars toasted the quick recovery from surgery to remove his gall bladder that Bob Sites will undergo this coming Friday. As this small organ aids in fat digestion and concentrates bile produced by the liver, I actually believe that a gall-less Bob will quite possibly be even better company than the previous version!

…Kids sitting on a barstool at the bar? This topic has been a hot one of late and something which, as a bar patron of many decades standing, I personally feel quite strongly about. To be blunt: they really should not be there! If for one minute I have to censor my comments or the topic of my conversation because a young kid is sitting next to me at a bar stool, then we’re clearly further down the road to Armageddon than I had previously thought. And it’s not just for me — it’s for the sake of “the little ones” too! Would any parent really want their child to hear the foul-mouthed and frequently tasteless gibberish that is spoken by so many, so often, as they pontificate at a bar surrounded by like-minded friends and acquaintances? I thought not.

…Talking of gibberish, what is on the current criteria list for getting a show on KZYX? From what I heard over the 90.7fm airwaves one afternoon this past week, I can only deduce that being “articulate” and “not mumbling inaudibly” did not make the list in every case. I know, I know, I know — they are volunteers. But a Turkey Vulture like me could kindly and generously volunteer my time to look after your baby lambs while you were out of town. I would do my best not to, but it doesn’t meant that I would be able to stop myself from eating one or two while you were gone.

…A couple of regulars have heard through the Valley’s widespread grapevine that Deputy Walker was planning to take the Valley’s ‘Best Friend’, Bullet the police dog, to the high school last week in response to the increasing concerns of many staff regarding the permeating marijuana odor that sometimes emanates from certain areas of the campus. I am very aware that many of the students are frequently exposed to marijuana in our culture up here but smoking/selling it at school is obviously quite unacceptable. For reasons that you can work out for yourselves, the students were tipped off by an “inside source” that this search was going to happen and nothing was found. However, the warning has been given, future unscheduled “investigations” by Bullet are on the agenda, and if any incriminating evidence is found, there most certainly will be serious repercussions for those involved.

Time to take my leave. Until we talk again, Keep the Faith; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you. One final request, “Let us prey.” Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture. PS. Contact me with words of support/abuse through the Letters Page or at turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net. PPS. On the sheep, Grace; it’s been two years and you continue to be missed.

Public Service Announcements. Calendars and pens at the ready. #443. The movement to “Save Hendy Woods” is holding a community meeting tonight, Dec 7, at 7pm at The Grange. Your support would be greatly appreciated. #444. The Vets from Mendocino Animal Hospital will be returning to the Valley for their December visit on Thursday 15. As always they will be at the AV Farm Supply from 2-3:30pm and have asked me to inform you that you do not have to arrive early and then have to wait a long time. In fact, everyone showing up at anytime before 3:30pm will definitely be seen. #445: Sunday, December 11 is the date of the Holiday Pot Luck Dinner at The Grange. The Food Shed folks and Grangers will provide the ham, turkey, stuffing, potatoes and gravy. Everyone else brings the rest and their own tableware. This is an alcohol-free event (inside The Grange Hall anyway!?) although at the time of writing I’m not sure if it is Ukeholic-free too! #446: Next Tuesday, December 13 is the second Tuesday so that means Dinner and Bingo at the Senior Center. Good food, beer and wine, top quality bingo with prizes, and, as you know by now, you don’t have to be a senior to attend! And a couple of very early heads-up’s. #447: The AV Senior Center Crab Feed will be held in the Apple Hall on Saturday, January 14, 2012. #448: And then there is the Original Crab Feed scheduled for Saturday, February 4, 2012, also at The Apple Hall in Boonville. I’m giving you plenty of notice on these two major Valley events because some of you may wish to give Xmas gifts to loved ones in the form of tickets. If so please contact organizers Gina Pardini at 895-3609 for the Jan 14 big night out, or Gloria Ross at 895-3071 for the February 4 extravaganza.

With that “Save Hendy Woods” meeting taking place tonight, I thought of The Old Buzzard’s comment earlier this year which probably sums up both the positive thoughts and serious concerns for many of us about what the future holds. Here they are, your Quote of the Week: “I visited Hendy Woods this past weekend. Is there a more perfect location in which to reflect on one’s existence, the meaning of life, to be thankful for all that we have, and be at one with nature? Not in my experience there isn’t, and the thought that this very special place may be closed to the public is surely one of the more distressing signs that the Apocalypse is indeed approaching.”

Time to take my leave and bid you farewell for another week. Until we meet again, Keep the Faith; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you. One final request, “Let us prey.” Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture. PS. Contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net. PPS. On the sheep, Grace. PPPS. Is that “lafter” I hear, Carroll?

My philosophy regarding the Thanksgiving Day festivities, and I assume I’m in the majority on this, can be summed up by these words from the wonderful novelist and short story writer, W. Somerset Maugham (‘Of Human Bondage’ (1915)), who wisely observed, “Excess on occasion is exhilarating. It prevents moderation from acquiring the deadening effect of a habit.” — good stuff, William… Of course I could have given you the classic comment on this topic by William Blake. In fact, as this is the mantra for any self-respecting Turkey Vulture, I think I will add it anyway. It was Blake, a fine poet, who said, “The road to excess leads to the palace of wisdom.” Who can argue with those for your Quotes of the Week?!

Public Service Announcements… Calendars and pens at the ready. #382. The Independent Career Women (ICW) celebrate the holidays with their annual party on Friday, Dec. 2nd at Wellspring just outside Philo. This is one of the most sought after tickets of the season, for men anyway. I hope to be there, representing my gender and species, and, as is my custom over the years, I shall endeavor to be the last to leave once again. I think I’ll have a good chance of keeping up that record, unless of course I am asked to leave early following some kind of ‘unfortunate misunderstanding.’ #383. The annual Holiday Bazaar sponsored by the AV Unity Club is this coming weekend, on Saturday Dec. 3 at the Apple Hall in Boonville from 10am to 4pm. Christmas gifts and food, raffle, snack bar, and my personal favorite, photographs with Santa Claus, who, let me assure you, is neither the thinly-disguised AVA Supremo Bruce Anderson nor a former owner of the AV Brewery, despite vicious rumors to the contrary. #384. Just so you know well in advance, the Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital will be here on Thursday, Dec. 15. More details next week.

Topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge. Yes, “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley.

…A number of regulars have been very disappointed to read that AV High School quarter-back, Garrett Mezzannatto, oldest son of Kevin and Reneé Lee (Wyant), was forced to wait over two weeks to get an MRI after receiving a serious knee injury on the final play of his high school career at Point Arena back on ‘Black Saturday’ — Nov 5th, a day so-called after both football and soccer high school teams lost their final games of the season with championships beckoning. This delay occurred despite the fact that he had medical insurance. It was primarily a result of the usual bureaucratic bullsh*t and gives us yet another insight into the inefficiency of our health system and an example of a situation that would almost certainly not occur in the many nations around the world that have ‘civilized’ healthcare systems in place. As the editor of this esteemed organ would say: ‘it’s criminal.’ Meanwhile, the injury means that this fine young man’s final seasons of high school basketball and baseball could be in doubt, although if anyone can return to play in either of these sports after this particular injury then it would be Garrett. We here at the 3-Dot wish him the very best on a speedy return to both the boards and the mound.

…Talking of medical matters, despite the recent school board election process taking place, during which the board’s activities and functions were under the ‘microscope’ as it were, it still seems that to most regulars at the 3-Dot, and to folks around the Valley in general, it comes as a surprise when told that School Board Members get medical insurance through the school as a perk of the job. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

…From our 3-Dot regular, The Old Buzzard, comes another in his insightful series ‘The Approach of the Apocalypse.’ Buzzard reports, “Several regulars have recently commented, many of them quite angrily, on the wide range of propane prices in the Valley at this time of year. I have done intensive research and in summation it would seem that the whole propane business is one big racket with deals offered either with little rhyme or reason or at the discretion of the person in the office, particularly if the threat of changing company is made. Meanwhile, special offers are made to entice new customers, mysterious add-on fees and surcharges appear on bills, and exorbitant charges are made to remove tanks if a customer changes their propane company. All-in-all, it is a very unsatisfactory situation and I can only advise propane users take these few precautions. Try to compare the prices of the four main companies — Suburban Propane (462-3858), Ferrellgas (463-1515), Eel River Fuels (462-5554), and Redwood Coast Fuels (463-3100) and get them to lock in your opening price for as long as you can; check bills from one to the next and be aware of significant price rises per gallon; if your price per gallon goes up, call to inquire why and do not be put off with vague explanations. Ask to talk to the supervisor if you are not satisfied. Personally, up here at the Nest we have Suburban but their customer relations are pathetic and their prices high and non-negotiable at this time. A move to the more locally-owned and certainly cheaper ($3.09 compared to $3.99) Eel River Fuels is a distinct possibility once I get to deal with the annoying tank removal. Good luck with this, you will need it.

Time to take my leave. Keep the Faith; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you. One final request, “Let us prey.” Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture. PS. You can contact me with words of support/abuse through the Letters Page or at turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net. PPS. Hi, Silver Swan. Behaving yourself? Hopefully not! PPPS. On the sheep, Grace.

Anyway, as you digest that unnecessary yet unavoidable second helping of food tomorrow, and before your nap, perhaps you will be inclined to summon up the energy to take part in my Thanksgiving Day Quiz. Answers at the end of the column.

1. How many people were aboard the Mayflower when it set sail from England in 1620? a) 35 b) 88 c) 102 d) 148 e) 715

2. One year after the pilgrims had arrived at Plymouth Rock half of them had died. So, as they sat down to the first Thanksgiving, what would you say was the ration of men to women at that historical event? a) Even b) 2:1 c) 5:1 d) 9:1

3. What color was ‘taboo’ to the new settlers and was never worn?

a) Red b) Purple c) Blue d) Black e) Brown & Gold

4. What was the last name of the Mayflower’s Captain?

a) Smith b) Brown c) Jones d) Bligh e) Pardini

5. Which two teams in the NFL traditionally play at home on every Thanksgiving — one since 1934, the other since the 70’s?

6. How many degrees can a Turkey see with its eyes?

a) 360 b) 270 c) 180 d) 90

7. What is America’s favorite dessert on Thanksgiving?

a) Pumpkin Pie b) Pecan Pie c) Sweet Potato Pie d) Crème Brule

8. At the first Thanksgiving which of the following was approved table manners? a) To eat with your hands b) To spit on the floor, c) To throw bones into the fire when done d) All of these

9. Who pushed for the Turkey to be the nation’s national symbol?
a) Benjamin Franklin b) Abraham Lincoln c) FDR. d) George W. Bush

10. Fish, fowl, peas, pumpkins, veal, beef, turkey. Which of these items was not on the very 1st Thanksgiving Day menu?

11. True or False? Indians attended the first Thanksgiving feast.

12. True or False? Thanksgiving is always the last Thursday of November.

13. True or False? Male Turkeys are the ones who make the gobbling sound.

14. True or False? The Pilgrims bought beer with them on the voyage to the New World.

15. True or False? At the early Thanksgivings, Turkey Vultures were also on the menu.

Staying with the “Thanksgiving” theme for the Quote of the Week, I have a few words from Matt Groening, creator of ‘The Simpsons’, to perhaps remember when all of the family is gathered together on the big day — “Families are all about love overcoming emotional torture.” Hey, it could have been worse. I was going to share Joseph Stalin’s comment about gratitude which is a feeling we should all perhaps have on this special day. He said “gratitude is a sickness suffered by dogs” — what a miserable bastard; I shall not be inviting him or his ilk over tomorrow! OK, let’s have a positive thought to finish with — and with the Thanksgiving Day Dinner the focal point for most of us, what better sentiments than those uttered by English novelist and essayist, Virginia Woolf, who very wisely pointed out, “One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.” Who could possibly argue with that?!

Public Service Announcements. Calendars and pens at the ready. #100. Thanksgiving tomorrow — just to remind the less alert amongst my readership. #101. The annual Holiday Bazaar sponsored by the AV Unity Club is next weekend, Saturday Dec 3rd at the Apple Hall in Boonville from 10am to 4pm. More details next week. And that’s it — apparently a week dominated by Thanksgiving and not much else.

Moving quickly on to a few of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge — “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley.

…The 3-Dot was a little quiet last Saturday evening as several regulars decided to take a road trip out to Elk and ‘Bobby Beacon’s’ bar there — up on a hill overlooking the small town and the ocean beyond. It is owned and run by the Elk Fire Chief of that name and with his generous drinks and the bar’s friendly atmosphere, it is no wonder that this very out-of-the-way location is popular — even the Valley’s Bloyd Family — Amy, Eric, and Mea — make it their regular Saturday night haunt!

…The recent ‘Occupy Hendy Woods’ event was a success according to both those involved and those who attended. Up next, as the community and others try to keep this special place open to one and all, will be a short film and discussion on this very important topic at the 2012 AV Film Festival in January.

…The regulars who stayed in town came to the almost unanimous decision that for bar snacks it is very difficult to do better than Lauren’s fries and The Buckhorn’s chicken wings. No argument here.

…A few other customers decided to by-pass the road-trip to the coast, and both the bar snack discussion in the 3-Dot and the Hendy Woods event, to travel down to Rincon Valley just northeast of Santa Rosa, to watch the #2-seeded A.V. High School girls compete in their postseason Volleyball final against the #1 RV Christians. And they must be so delighted they did. In what was apparently one of the most amazing games in this program’s long, storied, and very successful history, the Lady Panthers came out on top in a five-set thriller 25-19, 17-25, 25-23, 23-25, 16-14 to clinch their second successive post season title. Many congratulations to the players and Coach ‘Flick’ McDonald.

Well, why not finish on that very high note, I say? I’m outtahere. Remember to Keep the Faith; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you. One final request, “Let us prey.” Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture. PS. Contact me with words of support/abuse through the Letters Page or at turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net. PS. Hi, Silver Swan.

Happy Thanksgiving!

PPS. Quiz Answers: 1. Answer c). 102 — 74 males, 28 females. (2 dogs, no Turkey Vultures). 2. Answer d). With only fifty-one survivors, the ration of men to women was 9:1 — there were just five women remaining! I couldn’t possibly comment further. 3. Answer b). Purple. It was associated with wealth and the upper classes in the Old World at that time. 4. Answer c). Jones. His name was Christopher Jones 5. The Detroit Lions (since 1934) and the Dallas Cowboys play at home on this day every year, which for the hapless fans of the Lions, in recent years anyway, has generally meant a miserable Thanksgiving. 6. Answer b). A Turkey can see for 270 degrees around it. This would explain why you’ve had little luck when trying to creep up and capture a wild one for dinner. I suggest you just buy one from Lemons’ Market! 7. Answer a). Pumpkin Pie, although Freshly Squished Squirrel Pie covered in a creamy entrails sauce is the pie of choice here at The Nest. 8. Answer d). All were acceptable — similar to Thanksgiving at The Nest where guests are encouraged to partake in each of these. 9. Answer a). Benjamin Franklin — a great man and obviously a true visionary. 10. Beef. Not even bulls’ testicles or cow eyes. Too bad… 11. True. The Indians easily outnumbered the Pilgrims, more than half of whom had died over that first year. 12. False. It’s always the 4th Thursday of November, even when November has five Thursdays. 13. True. Females do not. 14. True. Yer gotta like that. 15. False. That would be unacceptable, although possibly quite tasty.

Almost as important. It would appear that there has been a potentially significant change to the AV School Board with the election of Ben Anderson who will replace the recently retired Grace Espinosa on this ‘Gang of Five’ who make many decisions affecting our schools and therefore the children of the Valley. Anderson received 25% of the vote, with the other two “winners” being incumbents Dick Browning (20%) and Marty Bradford (19%) — surely a disappointing endorsement of their efforts in recent times, one has to say. Bradford very narrowly (by 17 votes) edged out Ernie Pardini (18%) to hold on to her seat of 26 years standing, while “new kid on the block” Don Harris garnered a creditable 16%. There are still a small number of votes to be counted but it is unlikely that these results will change. Let’s hope Mr. Anderson, with his fresh ideas and boundless energy, can follow up on his pre-election mission to “clean-up” the school, both literally and with regard to its many contentious issues, and at the very least possibly bring an end to the very questionable number of 5-0 votes that have dominated the School Board’s decision-making for far too long. As he himself said, “I am very willing to be held accountable — you will see me around the school. I will endeavor to work on the connection between the school and community that many feel is not there. Whether that feeling is right or wrong is irrelevant — many perceive it that way. I genuinely care deeply about this school. This is my home and I want the best for where I come from, where I lived growing up, and for the kids of the Valley’s future.”

And with that in mind, here is your Quote of the Week, from David Broder, Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist for The Washington Post and a political writer for four decades, who wrote, “It is dangerous for a political candidate to say things that people might remember.” I’m very hopeful that Anderson will do his very best to overcome any such “danger” and will “walk the walk” in the ways that he has clearly stated. While I’m here in Quoteville, let’s have another relevant few words from the lighter side — “Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest Americans. It’s the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then we did elect them.” That’s from comedienne Lily Tomlin and I can insure you that she did not vote in the election here last week.

Public Service Announcements, calendars and pens at the ready: #78. Tomorrow, Thursday, Nov 17, will see the vets from Mendocino Animal Hospital returning to the Valley after a two-month absence due to staff shortages. They will be at The AV Farm Supply from 2pm-3.30pm and have asked me to inform you that you do not have to arrive early and then have to wait a long time. In fact, everyone showing up at anytime before 3.30pm will definitely be seen. #79. Although it is not the final weekend of the month — that will be the one after Thanksgiving — the Barn Sale is taking place this coming weekend when it will be “Christmas in November”! This will take place at The Big Barn at The St. Elizabeth Seton Catholic Church Refectory on AV Way just north of Boonville, from 9am to 3pm, on both Saturday and Sunday, Nov 19 and 20. Many special items for the holiday period will be on sale so this is your chance to get some Xmas shopping done early. #80. “Secrets of Salsa,” the bi-lingual cookbook by the Mexican women of the Valley, celebrates its10th Anniversary edition with some new recipes and a book signing on Saturday, November 19. This will be from 2-4pm at The Shed, behind the ice cream store in Boonville. (Follow the signs.) #81. Dusty Rhodes and Her Handsome Cowboys are at Lauren’s Restaurant in Boonville on Saturday, November 19 with a 9pm show.

Topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge — yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley.

…Once again a very moving Veterans’ Day event was held last week at the Evergreen Cemetery on AV Way. Despite inclement weather, a crowd of over forty Valley folks, aged from nine to ninety and beyond, showed up to support this poignant occasion honoring those who have given their lives while serving in the military. Special mention was made of the powerful readings by Patty Liddy, Joe Patelle, and John Toohey of letters written by soldiers from the war zones of Vietnam and Iraq to their loved ones back home. No doubt those in attendance had many thoughts about those who had ‘fallen’ and hopefully everyone took a few moments at some point last week to follow the words: ‘We shall remember them,’

…Those regulars who attended the recent wine and mushroom evening at The Buckhorn, Boonville, were full of praise for the delicious five-course dinner prepared by Chef/Owner Tom Towey and crew, along with wine pairings provided by Tom Rodrigues of Maple Creek Winery. The overwhelming consensus was that hopefully another such evening is already in the works.

…Several of our patrons expressed a desire to pass on their best wishes to Bob ‘Oyster’ Sites for a full recovery from his recent illness. Bob, whose life companion and better-half is school advocate Terry Ryder, is a popular figure on the Valley social scene where his wit, joviality, keen observations, and ability to make short stories long is being missed by many. Miss ya, Bob. Get well soon.

…“Black Saturday” for AV High School sports was a major talking point among the regulars at the 3-Dot following November 5th’s last minute defeat for the football team in their regular season championship-deciding game at Point Arena and the overtime penalty-kick shootout loss by the boys’ soccer team in their play-off game against Emeryville High on the same afternoon. The #2 seeded girls’ volleyball team continues to roll however and will play a play-off semi-final game tonight at home against #3 Mendocino with an appearance in the final on Saturday as their reward for a win.

Time to take my leave. So, Keep the Faith; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you. One final request, “Let us prey.” Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture. PS. Contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net. PPS. On the sheep, Grace.