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Stories written by Bruce Patterson

My Generation

Generally speaking, I’ve never much liked the affluent white boys of my generation. Didn’t much like them when they were young, and I like them a whole lot less now…

Fright Night

Fright Night

The other day I got to wondering: since I returned from Vietnam some 47 years ago, how many times have I been startled out of my wits? For at least…

The Animal Lady of Juniper Flat

I’ve always been of two minds when it comes to animal lovers. So long as they put the human animal at the top of their lists, I put them atop…

Water Torture

The unsanitized version goes: “Out West we argue over politics and religion. We kill over water.” Sanitized, it’s: “Out West water flows uphill to money.” Rivers are pots of gold,…

Breaking News

Does anybody know where the Siberian Express has gotten off to? Have you seen the Arctic Vortex? When was the last time we turned on the TV news and discovered…

Ancestry.con

I didn’t know I was half Irish till after I turned thirty and my grandpa Patterson died. My Irish grandma Patterson had dropped dead while I was in Vietnam back…

Maladjustments

Maladjustments

Like a red-headed, freckle-faced, cross-eyed orphan, I was born socially inept. I was peculiar in so many ways I’m thankful I was a child of the 1950’s. For a quarter…

War Heroes

War Heroes

When what feels like forty-six light-years ago I got back from Vietnam, I never would have believed that, this deep into the 21st Century, we’d still be worshiping at the…

Ducks or Beavers?

So which is Oregon’s Official State Animal? Is it the duck or the beaver? Considering how no professional gambler has ever made a living betting with the crowd, let’s put…

El Camino Real

El Camino Real

It was my dad’s old contract bridge partner Doc Kramer who had hooked me on history with his tales of Old California. It was 1960, I was ten years old…

Missing the Obvious

I saw on CNN this neck-tied worldly philosopher and political prognosticator pronounce that the trouble with the truth is that you can’t prove it. Since I’ve heard that kind of…

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