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Stories written by Bruce Patterson

Animal Cruelty

Want to have some fun with a horse? Find a retired old potbellied stud that’s been put on a strict diet. Meet him at the fence and, when nobody’s looking, give…

The Pancake Plains

The first officially recorded epidemic of the Dwindles to break out within what is now the Continental US occurred immediately after Abe Lincoln signed the Homestead Act of 1862. Anxious…

Anti-topia

When I was a little boy and we were on the road, I used to love the way small town radio stations faded in and out. Heading east on US…

Oregon’s Eighth Natural Wonder

Turns out up there near the headwaters of the South Fork of the John Day there actually is a little green government sign marking the former site of the post…

The Left As Obsolete

Since they all get advertised and sold that way, I arrived in Vietnam thinking mine was a war to end all wars. But it turned out our “Cold War” killing…

If You Build It

I think it was back when that travelling Alaskan flea circus chipmunk Guvnor Sarah Palin was all the rage that the Neo-Democrats, hoping to prove these Neo-Re-pugs of the Kool-Aid…

Shy Of Izee

Ever since I read that in recent years three radio-collared wolves of Northeastern Oregon’s Imnaha pack have come up the South Fork of the John Day on their ways to…

Mr. Scratch Does Late-Nite

Entering from stage left, Mr. Scratch waves to the audience, shakes hands with the host and takes his seat under the soft studio lites. Since Old Beelzebub needs no introductions,…

Operation Wetback

Since, and rightfully so, these days we’re hearing talk of a “Political Revolution,” I think it’s important to remember that revolution begins with liberation from falsehood. Counter-revolution begins with the…

The Incredible Shrinking American

The great beauty of old Anderson Valley was how farming, ranching, logging, hunting and fishing were a part of everybody’s upbringings. The original settlers not only grew extended families, they…

Don’t Blame Bubba

On my 16th Birthday, I officially quit high school, got a car and a fulltime union job busting tires at the Firestone store on, thanks to the Beach Boys, Pasadena’s…

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