Mendo Court Predictions For The Coming Year

At the Office of the Public Defender

• Mary LeClair will become the new Public Defender.
• Anthony Adams will be the new Assistant Public Defender.
• Eric Rennert will be murdered by his client Caleb Silver.
• Linda Thompson, after a few weeks of retirement, will demand her old job back.

At the DA’s Office

• David Eyster will run for a third term.
• ADA Rick Welsh will get dumped by his Orange County wife.
• DDA Luke Oakley will marry a gunslinger named Annie.
• DDA Scott McMenomey will retire to a farm.
• DDA Tim Stoen will surprise everyone by living 20 more years.

Predictions for the Bench

• The Hon. Keith Faulder will remain in Department A with the misdemeanor calendar.
• The Hon. Cindee Mayfield will handle the secondary felonies in Department B.
• The Hon. Ann Moorman will serve as Presiding Judge in Department G.
• The Hon. Carly Dolan will go to Family Court due to the many former clients she would encounter in the criminal courts.
• The Hon. John Behnke will soldier on in Department H with the main felony calendar
• The Hon. Leonard La Casse (ret.) will catch a trophy trout in the Eel River.

At the Office of the Alternate Public Defender

• Alt. Public Defender Patricia Littlefield will retire.
• Asst. Alt. P.D. Doug Rhoades will retire.
• Deputy Alt. P.D. Jan Cole-Wilson will retire.
• Deputy Alt. P.D. Lewis Finch will get a DUI.

Predictions for the local Defense Bar

• Atty. Justin Petersen will become as famously fearsome as Gerry Spence.
• Atty. Al Kubanis will retire.

Predictions for the Jail Staff

• Zohar Zaied will become the 1st Jewish Sergeant in Mendo History.
• Jailhouse subscriptions to the AVA will be slapped with a prohibitive luxury tax to defray the Sheriff’s pay raise.
• Despite deteriorating conditions at the jail, it will stay safer than the streets of Ukiah.

Predictions for the Courthouse Staff

• The floggings will continue until morale improves.
• The essential court-certified Spanish language interpreter, Mr. Tim Baird, will work increasingly longer shifts for less pay.
• The gate guards will come under the direction of a new contractor.
• A tremendous earthquake will send an avalanche of splintered glass down the main steps on April 1st at precisely 8:47am.