Bird’s Eye View (Apr 20, 2016)

by Turkey Vulture, April 20, 2016

Greetings one and all. Are you are sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin.

Public Service Announcements. #543. There is a second Barn Sale this month, and every month through the summer, this coming weekend, Saturday/Sunday, April 23/24, from 9am-3pm at The Big Barn next to the St. Elizabeth Seton Catholic Church Refectory on AV Way just north of Boonville. #544. The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital have one more visit this month to the AV Farm Supply on Highway 128, north of Philo on Thursday, April 28. Next month on Thursday, May 19. #545. The Unity Club’s annual Wildflower Show is this weekend, Saturday/Sunday, April 23/24 with the 2nd Annual Goat Festival on the Saturday all at the Mendocino County Fairgrounds in Boonville. Goat Fest will feature a day of Family Fun, Goat Education, and Goat Celebration plus the “Best Dressed Goat” contest, a “Goat Milking Competition,” and a Birria (goat stew) Cook-Off, and more. For more info: go to avgoats@gmail.com; or Facebook at Anderson Valley Goat Fest; or call King Goat, Jim Devine, at (707) 496-8725. #546. On Saturday, April 23, it’s Open Mic at Lauren's Restaurant in downtown Boonville. Dinner served 5 to 9 before the Open mic starts at 9 pm. All are welcome. musicians, singers, poets, writers, impressionists, magicians, comedians, actors, fire-eaters, pole dancers, sword swallowers, ventriloquists, raconteurs, exotic dancers, animal callers, etc. No clowns. apparently they would scare any kids, and no mimes, please. They scare almost everyone else! For more information call 895-3869. #547. The Boonville Farmers Market continues every Saturday through April, at its winter venue outside The Boonville General Store from 10.30am-1pm. For more info call Cindy at 895-2949. #548. Need a burn permit? From 11am to 3pm on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Fridays you can get one from the Firehouse in Boonville. Call 895-2020 for more information or stop by. You will be efficiently served with a smile. #549. The AV Lending Library, run by The Unity Club, is open at The Fairgrounds on Tuesdays 1.30-4.30pm and Saturdays, 2-4pm. #550. The County Dump is open from 9am-4pm Tuesday, Wednesday, Saturday, and Sunday. Remember, no dead animals! The new “Dump Guy” is Mike Mannix. 895-3569. Good to pre-check to see that they are open. PS. The Boonville Recycling Center at The Fairgrounds parking lot is open Wednesday-Saturday, 9-4pm (489-2033). #551. Saturday, April 30 is the 25th Annual Anderson Valley Beer Festival at the Fairgrounds. Same day as the Caspar Uke Festival.

Here is the menu for the upcoming lunches and dinners at the Senior Center in the Boonville Veterans Building. $6 donation from seniors for both lunches and dinners; $7 for Non-seniors for lunches, $8 for the dinners. Tomorrow, Thursday, April 21, the lunch, served by Marti Titus and her crew at Noon, will be Chicken Picata with pasta and Chocolate Reveal Bars for dessert. Next Tuesday, April 25 at 6pm, it’s Roast Beef Dinner and Strawberry Lemon Squares for dessert. It’s the 4th Tuesday so the dinner will be followed by Bunco at 7pm. All meals include vegetables, salad bar, and fruit, plus milk, coffee, tea, and lemonade. What a deal: maybe the best $7 you’ll spend all week! Tai Chi is available every Tuesday from 10-11am, and Thursdays at 11am it’s the water color painting class, leading into yoga at 11am. ALL ages welcome! Hope to see you there.

This week’s topics and Valley events at The Three-Dot Lounge: Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant (yet surprisingly reliable) Rumors from my favorite gathering place in the Valley.

…Mendocino Crime Watch. After a series of crimes in the Willits area, Sheriff Tom Allman has announced that he is looking for a man with one eye. If he doesn't find him, he's fully prepared to go ahead and use both eyes.

…A gloomy High School Boys Soccer Coach named Steve Sparks stopped by the Three-Dot on Friday lunchtime having just been told that the school soccer field — “ the best in the league” — will have to be torn up and re-seeded. Coach Sparks explained, “For inexplicable reasons, following the heavy rain a few weeks ago, the soccer field was mowed with new equipment which the user was unfamiliar with, so significant damage has been caused. It is very disappointing indeed and the knee-jerk reaction of a ‘Plan A’ idea of tilling and re-seeding will impact the current junior high season, the summer practices for the high school team and their season that follows, youth soccer, and possibly the adult league team(s) that was/were hoping to play there. This should never have occurred and the powers-that-be are surely not going to simply tear it up and re-seed without seeking professional advice on how to repair the field. I also hope that the school will be forthright and open in sharing both with those affected directly and the community beyond what options are available to guarantee that this happens.”

Monday morning update. Steve reports, “Thankfully there has been a change of thought. I do not know how this came about but the aforementioned ‘Plan A’ has been shelved. Today (Monday, April 18) the field will be treated with a heavy roller in the hope that this will repair the ruts created by the mower. That seems like a very sensible idea to me and many others. If this works the field will be saved and soccer can resume. If it fails, then the decision-makers will hopefully continue to look at options that are better than Plan A. Fingers and toes crossed.”

…Three-Dot regulars came up with some frequently less heard or rarely followed pieces of advice that used to be important for the younger generation to adhere to. Little children should be seen and not heard. Don’t do as I do, do as I say. Don’t eat with your mouth open. Put your hand over your mouth when you cough. Say “please” and “thank-you.’ Take responsibility for your actions. No means No… The list goes on.

…From our 3-Dot regular, The Old Buzzard, comes another in his insightful series. “Signs that the Apocalypse is Approaching’. Buzzard reports, “Bruce Springsteen has cancelled a concert in North Carolina, joining business groups in condemning a state law that rolls back protection for gay and transgender people. Ringo Starr has also cancelled a concert while Cyndi Lauper is continuing with her gig but this will focus on increasing the awareness of the harm being done by the new legislation. There have also been calls for the 2017 NBA All-Star Game to be taken away from the state. These are just some examples of the fallout from this discriminatory law and there have been many protests around the state itself. The law has invalidated several local anti-discrimination measures that protected gay and transgender people. It also requires people to use public toilets that correspond to the sex listed on their birth certificates. Governor Pat McCrory, a Republican, defended the law, calling it “common sense,” while some supporters of the law said allowing transgender people to choose their restroom could lead to women and children being attacked. Oh, please! What nonsense. There have been more crimes committed in public restrooms by members of the US House of Representatives than by transgender people and this step backwards by yet another southern State is one very good example of the Apocalypse fast approaching.”

I’m outtahere. Got see a man about a sheep. So until we talk again, Keep the Faith; be careful out there; if you break a leg don’t come running to me; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; show love to your pets, they will be faithful and true to you to the last beat of their hearts, and remember to keep your windows cracked if you leave them in your vehicle for any amount of time; may your god go with you. A final request, “Let us prey.” Sometimes poking, often stroking, but almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture. Contact me through the Letters Page or at turkeyvulture9@gmail.com. PS. Missing the Venerable Pheasant everyday. On the sheep, Grace. Keep on humming, Hummingbird.

2 Responses to Bird’s Eye View (Apr 20, 2016)

  1. MarshallNewman Reply

    April 20, 2016 at 1:39 pm

    Credit goes to the late, great Ronnie Corbett for the Mendocino Crime Watch joke.

  2. Bruce McEwen Reply

    April 26, 2016 at 11:43 pm

    Tee-tootoataly enraptured by the dog who made history yesterday (Sheep-dog) for traveling 240 miles (afoot, best sources suspect, but nobody really knows how) to return to a Welsh home from Cumbria where she was sold into slavery and apparently went missing on her first opportunity,) — reminds me so much of my favorite book in the whole world, “Lassie Come Home,” and this story is just so much the very thing, eh?

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